say goodbye to innocence; [ open ]

[анзие (Anz)]

A heart attack is sleeping in your chest,
waiting 'til the timing is best;
So make a move while you're still breathing.

The world was silent this day; the house was quiet, almost eerie in its emptiness. Even the steady singing of the mockingjays had faded. The homey rattles below were gone as well, as were the quiet, agony-filled groans of his mother. Or perhaps it was simply Lachlan himself once again forcing the silence around his mind, causing all sounds to fall on deaf ears.

This is the way he could drift back into happier memories, into better times. Those times had been when she'd been still alive. There had been better versions of this day, all of them filled with joy and love. Though they could spare little, there had been celebrations too.

It was Amarante's birthday - and if she'd lived, she would have been sixteen. Sixteen and even more beautiful than she'd already been.

For a moment, Lachlan allowed himself to picture her: beautiful, laughing, and alive. The swirl of her chestnut hair, the gray eyes that matched his exactly, and the delighted smile on her lips. The sisterly love and concern that shone from her face when she looked upon her darker brother. Does she truly love me, as she said?

If she was still alive, he would be able to ask.

Had she lived, she would have fled. The angry, guilt-ridden though struck Lachlan like a bolt of lightning. He shoved it aside. There would be no such thoughts in his head now. Not on her birthday. There would be nothing to dirty his thoughts of Amarante - nothing.

He swung his feet over the edge of his bed, grabbed his jacket, and fled out his room, out the house, and into the night.

When you were mine, was I for you,
Just one cheap thrill to help you make it;
Dammit I hope you didn't fake it.

[Dancin]

I pull my pale coat tighter around my shoulders, trying to block out the freezing air. It had been a late night at the medical clinic, and I was in a bit of a rush. My father might not enjoy my company, but he needed me to feed him. He was about as much use in the kitchen as I would be in a fight. My blonde hair is out of it's usual bun and hangs loosely down my back, glowing slightly in the moonlight. I round a corner, turning onto the street my house sits on and crash into someone. I fall backwards, he is quite a bit larger than me, and let out an indignant cry. I stand up, about to yell at him, when I see his face. Just underneath the surface, this person is in pain. The emotion in his eyes cuts off my voice and I just stand there,watching him.
"Sorry..." I mumble.

[анзие (Anz)]

A heart attack is sleeping in your chest,
waiting 'til the timing is best;
So make a move while you're still breathing.

[/size]

Lachlan stumbled back as something ran straight into him. What the-? He landed on his weaker leg, and managed to bite back a hiss of pain before it gave him away. Dimly, he heard the quiet clunk of the brace that was the only thing that kept him from falling on his butt.

Clutching at the windowsill of the house, the dark-haired teenage steadied himself and glanced down at the thing- person- no, girl who ran into him. She appeared to be around Amarante's age - give or take a few years - with pale blond hair and blue eyes. Her skin was much paler than most, and she had a very slight figure. Briefly, Lachlan wondered if she would blow away with the wind, but then thought better of it when the girl's face took on the sort of look that preceded furious yelling.

But when she looked up in his face, she seemed to stop herself. For a moment, his eyebrows knit together with faint confusion. He'd been prepared to deflect her accusations and anger, but she simply stood there, watching him.

Eventually, she spoke. "Sorry..."

Maybe it was just him, but the way she said it caused him to think she was pitying him. And he didn't want or need her pity. Lachlan's eyes darkened, and his brow smoothened; his face was wiped clean of any emotion. She either recognizes me or I'm not keeping my emotions well in check. "Forget it," Lachlan muttered, moving to brush past her. "Just watch where you run in the future."

When you were mine, was I for you,
Just one cheap thrill to help you make it;
Dammit I hope you didn't fake it.

[Dancin]

I tense up as he brushes past me, anger flashing in his eyes just a second before he locks out all emotion.
"Forget it," His voice is almost a growl and stings my ears. "Just watch where you run in the future." I get a good look at him as he walks past me, tall, dark haired with stunning grey eyes. His limbs are long and he towers above me, but he is in complete control of his body. Wait, no he isn't at least not totally. He leans slightly with his weight favoring one leg and the other legs doesn't bend quite as far, or as neatly. I'm not sure why I do it, the logical thing to do would be to turn around and continue home without a wayward thought towards this boy, but something about him rubs me the wrong way. It might be in the way he stands, as though he is superior to everyone else, although it might just be the fact that he is in pain and seems to be refusing to tell anyone. Whatever the case, the words are out of my mouth and hanging in the air before I can stop them.
"What's wrong with your leg?" I stiffen when I realize what I truly said. Not only was I rude and unprofessional, but I sound like an idiot, something I am not comfortable with. I close my eyes briefly, cursing myself and then push my hair back behind my ear.
"What I meant was....erm, well...." I glance at the boy, although he is really more of a man than a boy. "Nope, no way to recover." I mutter shakily to myself, shaking my head.

[анзие (Anz)]

A heart attack is sleeping in your chest,
waiting 'til the timing is best;
So make a move while you're still breathing.

[/size]

Lachlan could feel her scrutiny on his back as he walked away. While he wasn't sure what was going on in the girl's mind, he believed that it couldn't be anything good. Not after he pushed past so rudely, anyway. A voice in his head, as it always did, told him not to judge so quickly. The teen ground his teeth slightly. You always ask me to trust people, Amarante. You trusted me, and where did that lead you?[/i]

Although he strained to do so (past the steady click-clunk of his brace), he couldn't hear her leaving, and assumed that she was still watching. That assumption was proven correct when he heard her say, "Whats wrong with your leg?"

Lachlan stopped, but didn't turn around. What's wrong with my leg? Wouldn't you like to know. But before they escaped his lips, the girl spoke again.

"What I meant was... erm, well..." A grin flickered across his face briefly before it settled back into its usual mask of indifference. He kept silent, though, to hear how she'd save this awkward - for her, anyway - situation. It wasn't a surprise when she couldn't.

Instead she merely muttered to herself and kept silent. Lachlan turned around then. Slowly, enunciating every syllable, he answered her first question: "It's none of your business." Try as he may, he couldn't clear the amusement from his eyes or lips, which curled faintly. The teenager studied her expression - was that embarrassment? Maybe it was something else he couldn't tell... Another grin flickered over his lips before he took control of his emotions again. "You should go home, little girl. It's dangerous to talk to strangers in the middle of the night, in an empty street where he could easily hurt you."

He turned away, thinking that she would leave with his warning. That's that, then.[/color]

When you were mine, was I for you,
Just one cheap thrill to help you make it;
Dammit I hope you didn't fake it.

[Dancin]

"It's none of your business." Well, I can't say I wasn't expecting that. His lips curl upwards slightly and then he breaks into a brief and slightly frightening grin.

"You should go home, little girl. It's dangerous to talk to strangers in the middle of the night, in an empty street where he could easily hurt you."

Several emotions race through me as his words settle in the night, fear, shock, suspicion and finally anger. My hands close into fists at my sides and I stand a little straighter. I should turn around and walk home, that's what he is doing turning away and leaving without so much as a backwards glance. I stand there, dithering for a moment and then sigh, there is no way I could let this go, her mother may have had her downfalls, but she had not raised a pushover.
"Hey, pig." I say, my voice taking on a strange edge. I walk past him and turn around, blocking his path. "You know you are not nearly as scary as you think you are. In fact, to me all you seem like is a hurt teenager. You might think you have a sob story but trust me, you ain't got nothing a lot of other people around here haven't heard before." I say, letting my anger flow through my voice, as I talk my hands begin to loosen, the fists releasing into hands flat against my legs. "And whatever happened to you, it doesn't give you the right to go around threatening people...so stop it." My voice looses it's zeal near the end, my anger used up and now I'm just standing, staring at him. The silence rips through the night air and deafens me.

[анзие (Anz)]

Font color } dimgray
Speech } lightblue
Thoughts } D1E5EC

A heart attack is sleeping in your chest,
waiting 'til the timing is best;
So make a move while you're still breathing.

He fully expected the girl to walk away and leave him alone. In fact, even the very idea of her staying back to retaliate had never crossed his mind. Arguing back was not a foreign concept to Lachlan, but it was always with (or is that against?) someone his age, or older.

Not a tiny girl he barely knew and who probably thought he was being a total butthole.

So it was a total surprise when the girl spoke up again in a tone that can probably only be described as 'annoyed', "Hey, pig. You know you're not nearly as scary as you think you are. In fact, to me all you seem like is a hurt teenager."

Lachlan looked up as she went on, her anger evident in her voice. He kept his face expressionless despite the fact her words were getting his hackles up. He wasn't a hurt teenager. He was nothing - nothing without Amarante. She created him - she was his life. And the girl, she needed to get home, or someone could hurt her. Not him - he didn't think he could ever stand the sight of death taking away an innocent life (yet it intrigued him - when Amarante became lifeless, he felt her spirit passing. A simple breeze that flowed by into Death's arms... How did that feel?) yet again. But someone.

He realized then that the silence was stretching between them, the tension building. At the same time he also realized that he had been staring at the girl's forehead. He looked away.

"You don't know me. You don't know anything about me... or my 'sob story' as you so cleverly put it." Lachlan glanced at her almost wearily, and shook his head. "Don't presume to know what my problems are."

When you were mine, was I for you,
Just one cheap thrill to help you make it;
Dammit I hope you didn't fake it.

[ ooc: okay so I suck. Sorry for the lateness... D: ]

[Dancin]

His voice is like cold metal when he talks, and I have to press the balls of my feet into the floor to keep from shying away.
"You don't know me. You don't know anything about me... or my 'sob story' as you so cleverly put it." He glances at me, shaking his head and his voice grows softer. Almost gentle but not quite. "Don't presume to know what my problems are." I stare at him, watching the way his eyes flick around my face, it takes me almost a minute to nod.
"Okay, I won't but don't act like you are the only one whose had it hard." I say and I feel a lump press against my throat. "You really aren't, I can tell you that much." My voice is quiet and pained, little more than a squeak.
I take a step backwards sucking in a breath of cool air. I run a hand over my blonde hair and stare up at the sky, long since dark.
"My name's Kellan."

[анзие (Anz)]

[ Ever tried trying to post while doing French? xD Don't, it's sort of painful ]

Font color } dimgray
Speech } lightblue
Thoughts } D1E5EC

A heart attack is sleeping in your chest,
waiting 'til the timing is best;
So make a move while you're still breathing.

Lachlan's lips twitched upwards slightly - sadly? - at her words, and he nodded. "I'll do my best to remember that," he promised with a short, humorless chuckle. His gaze landed on a shadow in the shape of a girl, and for a moment he couldn't breathe - couldn't think.

For a moment, - and so free was his heart that he didn't even think otherwise - he thought saw Amarante's shadow.

His hands curled in his pockets. He couldn't tear his gaze away from the darkened shape on the floor - Amarante! She was here, and he'd turn around and she'd be-

"My name's Kellan."

The girl's voice was all it took to shatter it. Lachlan looked up, and saw not Amarante but the girl, Kellan. His eyes flickered around, searching for Amarante... and then he came crashing back down to earth. It was only by force of will did he keep upright. Fleetingly he wondered if Kellan noticed, but brushed it aside. Whether she did or not, it wasn't her problem.

The silence seemed to stretch for ages, and Lachlan was about to ask what she wanted when he recalled the dregs of politeness he thought he had left behind some time ago. She wanted his name.

"I'm Lachlan." It came out hoarser than he had expected, but there was nothing he could do about it now.

When you were mine, was I for you,
Just one cheap thrill to help you make it;
Dammit I hope you didn't fake it.

[Dancin]

ooc: haha I know exactly what you mean.

The boy turns around to face me and something changes in him. His face grows cold, and his body melts as if turning into a liquid. I wonder for a moment if he will collapse all together. He looks at the ground, his eyes tracing my shadow. His breathing grew uneven as the silence stretched between us. After a few moments he glanced up, and I heard his voice. It was real this time, a reflection of the person inside. Before it had been a guard, like a wall.

"I'm Lachlan." He says and I nod slightly. It feels awkward just to stand here staring at this boy who is so much older and bigger than me. I wonder who made him like this, shadowed and hidden, or if he was always like this. Burnt from the start. I see something out of the corner of my eye, on the tiny patch of grass in front of one of the houses.

"First green grass." I say, my voice quiet as I watch the emerald shoots quiver in the evening wind. I look at Lachlan, and give him the kindest smile I can manage. "My mother always told me, 'No matter how bad things get, we can always find hope in the coming of spring.'" I tell him, trying to smother the emotion tightening my throat. I've never told anybody this before, never let that piece of my mother touch anyone else. I feel my eyes begin to go wet and blink furiously. Don't cry dammit. You're being ridiculous. I snap at myself, running my skinny fingers over my blonde hair.

I glance at Lachlan, to see how my words are processing. His name suits him, From The Lake. His long limbs and lean muscles, the way his eyebrows slant into the defined bones of his cheeks remind me of the Games arena a few years ago. It had a cliff on one side, that dropped on into the sea. He looks like the rocks, the danger and resilience of stones in the water.

[/size][/colour]

[анзие (Anz)]

Font color } dimgray
Speech } lightblue
Thoughts } D1E5EC

A heart attack is sleeping in your chest,
waiting 'til the timing is best;
So make a move while you're still breathing.

Lachlan's eyes passed over the grass without really seeing them. Hope in the spring, huh? He looked back at Kellan and opened his mouth to tell her that there was no hope in the world - or at least, in their world. Things will stay the same, and they'll forever stay the same. People will be sent to the Games, families will watch their sons and daughters fight to the death, siblings will destroy each other to live, cousins will draw first blood and nieces and nephews will die. There was no hope for any of the Districts.

And there probably wasn't hope for himself, but whatever, he knew that ages ago.

But something stopped him. There wasn't a point in destroying a girl's imagination, was there? Let her think what she wanted. It's all the Districts have now.

He nodded and looked away again. "I like the winter better," he told her instead. "It's just kind of dark and slow. Like you can almost hear a melancholy note playing in the background." He didn't know where the words came from, but they were there.[/color]

When you were mine, was I for you,
Just one cheap thrill to help you make it;
Dammit I hope you didn't fake it.

[ I'll try to be more active now... ]

[Dancin]

ooc: S'all good.

"I like the winter better," Lachlan says, watching my face glazedly. "It's just kind of dark and slow. Like you can almost hear a melancholy note playing in the background."

For some reason, his words seem funny to me. They're so morose and over-dramatic. Maybe he is being genuine but it really doesn't seem like it. His voice is dark and edgy, matching his posture and looks perfectly. He's like a storybook charachter, the kind you hate at the beggining of the story but then end up loving because he saves everybodies lives and sacrificing himself. It's this that makes me giggle.

It's little laughter at first, just a sharp intake of breath but then my composure cracks and I am laughing hysterically. My lungs hurt and my abs feel weak from the laugher. Tears spring to my eyes and I double over slightly. Everytime I manage to get a little bit of breath back I think of his words and am sent off the egde again.

"I'm sorry, so-sorr-y." I gasp, reaching out and patting his arm lightly. I take a deep breath and straigten, trying to force the laughter out of my body. "'snot funny." I say. I snicker once more and then am fully in control. I take a few breaths and clasp my hands together.

"Sorry again. I uh...don't know what that was. I'm sure you've laughed for no reason before..." I say, watching Lachlan carefully. Suddenly it occurs to me that maybe he hasn't and I feel suddenly sorry for him.

[/size][/blockquote]

[анзие (Anz)]

Font color } dimgray
Speech } lightblue
Thoughts } D1E5EC

A heart attack is sleeping in your chest,
waiting 'til the timing is best;
So make a move while you're still breathing.

Her laughter caught him by surprise, and Lachlan's eyes snap over to her as she doubled over, her clear laugh cutting through the night air and filling the silence around them. His initial reaction was one of anger, his face flushing from it (and maybe embarrassment, but he would never admit it). How dare she laugh at him? What did he say that was so unbearably hilarious to her?

And then he was confused. What on earth is she laughing about anyway?[/i] But no matter how much he stared at her he eventually decided that he would never know unless she asked, which he didn't want to.

Then came the frustration. Stop laughing, he wanted to tell her. Just stop laughing.[/i]

He was bordering on annoyance when Kellan finally started to calm down. Her apology was full of mirth, and he narrowed his eyes slightly as she did some deep breathing to calm herself.
"Sorry again. I uh...don't know what that was. I'm sure you've laughed for no reason before..." Her voice trailed away uncertainly and Lachlan looked away.

Stiffly: "I have to go." He turned and started away, the brace muted clanks following him. Several times his weaker leg threatened to give way from his standing around in the cold for so long, but as he moved it loosened out.

Maybe she'd leave him alone... or maybe she wouldn't, it's hard to tell with the girl.[/color]

When you were mine, was I for you,
Just one cheap thrill to help you make it;
Dammit I hope you didn't fake it.