Broken Bonds and Mended Trust {Raeoki}

[Kenna Is Begining Anew]

The night was cold. Azulan was still at home lying in bed with a back injury from the long day in the fields. Even though he needed assistance he waved me off as I came in. Normally I would've been the stubborn little me and told him to not talk and let me fix him up, but today was different.
Today was the day I had twisted my ankle and ran into Zuka and Kimmit. The porch creaked while I shifted my weight. My mind couldn't help wandering to the run in. I had almost let go. I had almost gave in to myself. My body began to shiver uncontrollably like it always did in the dead of the night. Fingers were twisting around the clod of dirt clutched in my hands.
The face swam between my field of vision. Here we go again, I thought. The world was going to go away. It was going to fade and my mother would become the only reality. When I was little I would embrace the thoughts, but now they were a distraction. It feels, as though, mom was not ready to let go of me as I was to her. I needed to let go. I couldn't afford to lose sight of my purpose in life. I needed saving right now.
Soon the scent of her, ash, dirt and leaves, became the only thing I could breath. It was incredibly overwhelming for a fairytale. Footsteps. No. No. "NO! Stop! Get out of me!". The clod of dirt flew out of my hand and landed with a thud against....something. Being aware of the sound of the clod hitting flesh made her feel a little better. Atleast she was becoming better at controlling the second soul inside her.
"Mckenna? Are you alright?"
Her heart pounding she looked up. Noticing that she could see properly, she breathed out a sigh of relief.

[Raeoki really likes pineapples]

Sometimes, Raeoki just had to get out of the house; to run away from the gore and violence from the television, or the memories of the pools of blood coming from her parents and their murderer.

That was the night of a vicious circle; the burglar killing Mr. and Mrs. Cotwright, and Raeoki killing the burglar with his own weapon and in some way the burglar killing Raeoki. It was a year ago, yet it was still fresh in her mind. The long wait for her parents to return and reassure it was nothing; the smell and sight blood. Oh, the blood! There was so much of it...On the floor...On the walls...On the three dead bodies...

The flashbacks didn't happen often - Raeoki had been busy for quite some time now, thankfully - but they did happen and usually at night. One would usually expect immediately seeing the corpses, but not for the blond-headed girl of District 11. It started out as a scent, and then gradually grew into an actual scene. On some occasions Raeoki found a way to stop them...some occasions.

Raeoki had randomly run out of the house at break-neck speed, ignoring her grandparent’s attempts to catch her and drag her away from the door, to make her sit down and slowly overcome it. But she was too fast for them today. Raeoki ran until something hit her in the side of the head, making her fall onto her knees and sending her into a daze that she blinked her way out of.

When she looked up at the little girl, Mckenna, a neighbor, she felt a little calmer, but Raeoki still felt the urge to continue her run. Her run far, far away from her home. Far away from District 11. Far away from Panem. Far away from the death surrounding the country.

Raeoki picked up a clod of dirt lying beside. She got her feet. "M...Mckenna?" Raeoki stuttered. "Are...you okay, kiddo?"

She stumbled over to the twelve-year-old, her brown eyes startling wild.

(ooc: Sorry about the wait.)

[Kenna Is Begining Anew]

(ooc: Don't worry about that )

I looked up to see who had taken the time to make sure I was okay, feeling grateful yet ashamed. I had needed saving. I had even admitted it to myself. I need to be stronger than this. "Raeoki! I-I'm so sorry. The c-clod of dirt just kind of f-flew out of m-my hand." I wiped away the sweat, unable to wipe away the shiver emanating fom my body. "What are you doing here?" , I wondered.

Raoeki didn't seem to be in a great state either. Her hair had caught a little dirt from my jerky hand. And she seemed as restless as me. She couldn't stay still as if there were electric shocks being given to her every 5 seconds.

"I'm fine. What a lie. No I was not fine. My father had gotten a severe back injury, I had almost lost control of myself in public, and thhe second soul in my body was trying to take over again. I was most certainly not fine. But I wasn't going to spill my guts that easy. And anyways Raeoki seemed to be having problems of her own. It would be rude to worry her with my minor issues.

"Raeoki. Why don't you sit down? You look like you could use some water." I didn't wait for her answer. Smiling slightly at her, I went inside the wooden house. I grabbed two glasses and filled them with fresh water. Deciding that since I'm already inside, I also grabbed a plate of fruit and brought it outside. Neglecting the food, so I didn't throw up, the glass of water was the only thing clutched in my hands. Setting the plate down, I looked expectantly at Raeoki.

"What are you doing? Mckenna, where are your manners? Treat people the way you want to be treated.
I jumped. I hadn't realised that my mother had already possessed my mind.

[Raeoki really likes pineapples]

Raeoki sat down obediently as Mckenna went to get her glass of water. It wasn't necessary, really. She doubted the taste of water could make the smell of blood go away. But Raeoki took the water anyway, and even forced herself to nibble the fruit Kenna had given her. "Thanks, Kenna," she mumbled.

She stared at the moon, high in the sky. For some reason, Raeoki wondered if the moon ever got vertigo. Obviously it couldn't - it was anything but alive -but still. She sat there and wondered. If the moon is afraid of heights, does that mean it gets lonely? Or do the stars keep it company?

The fifteen-year-old let out a sigh. "Kenna?" she asked. "What are you thinking about?"

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[Kenna Is Begining Anew]

"What are you thinking about?" The very question that led me into my deep girl thought. At least that's what my mom used to say. Whenever I questioned a seemingly wise thing, my mother always pounced on me. Oh Kenna! You make me seem so dumb, with you deep girl thought.

What was I thinking about? I mean, I guess I was thinking about my mother, but it felt more like my mother was thinking about me. After all, she was the one that entered my dreams. I never invited her over the threshold of the door. "Well, I guess you could say I'm thinking about a sweet nightmare, more or less."

Akward how words crossed eachother out sometimes, huh? How could a nightmare be sweet? Well you'd have to Kenna to know how that particular sensation felt. I plucked at the grass, twisting it around my fingers. Maybe, if I let go tonight, Raeoki wouldn't remember in the morning. That would be nice. To have a trusting person to spill your guts to and not be afraid of their reaction.

Raeoki and I had never really talked much. We weren't what you would call friends. More or less, we were strangers. But we did say hi and stuff, like you were obliged to. But that didn't matter right. You could sell your heart to a stranger, right? After all, it's the money your after.

"Raeoki, have your ever experienced something? Something that made you, erm, paranoid at times? Or filled with fury at times?" I wasn't sure what made me ask her. I guess my impulses just needed to. And I guess my heart needed to know that I wasn't the only one hurting.

[/size]
(ooc:Sorry about the size. I'm just testing stuff out.)

[Raeoki really likes pineapples]

(ooc: Don't worry bout it. :3 )

BIC: Raeoki stiffened. "What's that supposed to mean!?" she spat. Had Mckenna suddenly found out about that terrible night where she had killed a man? Was this girl going to turn Raeoki to the Peacekeepers? Was Kenna going to black-mail her?

The fourteen-year-old stared at Mckenna's face, and slowly relaxed. This girl wasn't asking her because of that. She was asking Raeoki because of...well, something more personal, Raeoki assumed. "Sorry," she mumbled. "Yes. I have."

She blinked at Kenna. "Why?

[Kenna Is Begining Anew]

I blinked. It was surprising her completly random mood change. In the begining I thought she was going to completly chew me out. Had she seen past the question and realised her hatred of the Capitol for ruining her life? Or did she know the traumatic events of her past life? Not a lot of people had been working in the fields that day. Especially children. It was at midnight she was sentenced.

I zoned out. I remember coming back from school that day. It had been tough, she had had three major tests in one day, had a fight with an older girl who had forgotten her lunch at home and stolen Kenna's, leaving her starving through a whole day of school. It had seemed so important back then. I remember wanting to run home and tell my parents all about the mean girl who made me sknnier than I already was.

It was in math. The principal herself had come to tell her. She had pulled me aside, my heart had been beating like a drum. Was she going to give me a detention for picking a fight with the older girl? It was so unfair. Her luch had gotten stolen, shouldn't the mean girl get punished? But apparently not. "Mckenna. Oh, my dear, your mother-

No. I could not think anymore. And just in time, too. "Why?" , Raeoki asked.

The tears rolled down my cheek before I could stop them. I didn't try to hide them. "A life of lies is but a life in hell, thou shalt not fall unto such greatness, yet such sorrowness." , I quoted. Straight out of my mother's mouth. Two more tears appeared down the side of my cheek.

[Raeoki really likes pineapples]

Panic made Raeoki's heart beat faster. What had she done to make the poor girl cry!? All she had asked was a simple, one-word question!

"K-Kenna!" Raeoki wrapped her arm around Mckenna. "Do you need to go inside, Kenna? It's late...Sleeping might make you feel better?" Her voice was soothing, soft like a mother's.

Raeoki sighed. No way would a kid wound up like Mckenna go to bed so easily. She should've thought before she spoke. "Please...Tell me what's wrong, Mckenna. What's on your mind?"

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[Kenna Is Begining Anew]

Raeoki's arms found their way around me, which of course imediatly made me feel guilty. How could I just let tears flow through my eyes? I thought I was working on NOT making a fool of myself. Part of my mind wished my body would just give in. Give in and start crying on Raeoki's shoulder and start ranting about how mom had died and left me alone in this godforsaken world.

But I know that that was not possible. First of all it would freak Raeoki out, not to mention make me a look like a freak. I mean, who just randomly cried on a person's shoulder for asking them why? No more tears flowed from my eyes, which left water filled eyelids and a sticky mess on my face. "Please, tell me what's wrong Mckenna. What's on your mind?"

I wished I could answer. That my mother dying was wrong. But I couldn't. Because, I honestly don't know if it was right or wrong. I always told myself that the Capitol needs to pay, but my conscience always tells me I'm wrong. My mother had done wrong. She deserved to be punished. But, no. The Capitol had done wrong. They had forbid us to eat, leading my mother to steal. But stealing was still wrong, right?

I clutched my head in angst. My mixed up thoughts were killing me. I needed answers. Not theories or hypthesis', but answers. The only thing I didn't know was the question.

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