Gwendolyn Bangle D8

[Alice Weather]

Name: Gwendolyn, Gwen or Gwenny
Age: 17
Gender: Female
District/Area: District 8
Appearance:

Gwendolyn, unlike some in her district has very fair skin. She hasn’t ever really tanned, mostly just burns. This can be an inconvenience since she works in the fields picking cotton. Gwendolyn is also very skinny, although her legs and arms are built from working in the field. She doesn't have abs but a flat tummy from not having enough to eat while she was growing. She only has a few scars on her, one being on her chest. It stretches from above her left breast over to her shoulder. As well as being very skinny, she is also very tall. When growing up Gwen had many growth spurts Gwen stands right now at about 5” 9. She has stretch marks on her lower back and thighs, where she grew the most. Gwen’s also very light weight she weighs roughly around 130 lbs.


She has fiery red hair that goes down past her shoulders. She takes care of her hair the best she can, given she goes to school and works all the time. She has freckles that overlay her cheeks and nose .A small stubby nose the she loves but hates at the same time. She loves her stubby nose only because its one of the traits that she inherited from her parents. She absolutely loathes it because in her opinion its absolutely ugly. Her soft blue eyes stand out from the sea of red hair. Gwen straight teeth but they are very yellow. She is missing a few teeth from when she was 14. She has a scar above her right eyebrow, and the logo of the capitol branded in the center of her back

Personality:

Gwen is a very kind and loving person. Gwen does know how to hunt she is skilled in the bow and arrow and throwing knives. Her father had taught her how to do those few things before his death. She would love to rebel and help those who want to stop the Capitol. But since her beating 3 years ago she fears of getting in trouble about almost anything. Gwen has had some troubles since that day, Stuttering has become a very common thing with her. Her fear is so great that it snowballed into a phobia that she can barely control. Gwen doesn’t hesitate to tell the truth anymore, but when she knows it could help save someone she starts having one of her episodes. She will start stuttering on almost every word. Then Gwen will start shaking uncontrollably, turning into a panic attack To try to deal with her issues she has become very musical. Sometimes it feels like when music is playing it flows right through her making her feel free. It feels as if she could express all that she suppresses through music.

She keeps to her self most of the time, its very hard for her to let any one in to her head. Gwen also reads to help calm herself down, but also for free time pleasure. She longs to be free, to never fear a Peacekeeper ever again. Gwendolyn has only a few friends, she cherishes them immensely . She daydreams constantly about finding a true love, but then wakes up to the reality. That there may not be any one out there for her, that is just to hard to think about. She is a very hard worker and can easily be distracted. When distracted she can go through her day with out knowing its passing. Finally when she snaps out of it she may be at home or in the middle of doing something.

With her friends Gwen can be very random and funny, but only when they are alone. She could never show that side of her to anyone else. Even though Gwen could probably never rebel against the capitol again she would do anything to save or help a friend if they desperately need her. She only does this on rare occasions though. When faced with this dilemma Gwen prepairs herself before actually acting on anything. Everything must be in its place, she must be early every where she goes. Anything she needs to do she has everything ready hours before

History:

Gwendolyn has had a rough past, her parents were killed when she was about the age of 6 in the winter. Gwen doesn't remember all that happened that night, but one day she will find out. She will some how find the truth., even if that means working through her issues. What she does know is that she and her parents were at the table having dinner. Then Peacekeepers stormed in. She must have been hit hard on the head, because she woke up the next day in a family friends house with a big slash mark on her chest that stung when she moved. She still doesn't know why they were killed

Gwen stayed with the friends of her parents. Gwen would go poach in the outside forest, trying to rebel. She refused to forget what happened with her parents, she wanted to find out what happend. When she came of age to work she also turned the age to be in the Hunger Games. Gwen tried to moved out the year she was eligible for the games. She stayed with her parents old friends until she could move out on her own The day she turned 14 she was told that it was the peacekeepers who had killed her parents. Gwen hadn’t waited for them to finish their story, she walked right up to a peacekeeper and punched him in the face . She kept going until they had to get another 2 peacekeepers to come pull her off of the one underneath her. She struggled violently but was quickly stilled when the peacekeepers started on her. The severely and publicly beaten and had even branded her that day. Gwen probably will never rebel again.

Gwendolyn now just goes to school, works and take care of her apartment. Gwen has panic attacks when she is faced with a difficult situation with a peacekeeper. Most have realized that you don’t tell Gwen anything. She doesn’t mind she wouldn’t want anyone getting hurt because of her problems. She has become very musical in the past couple of years. Since the beating she has learned to play the guitar, cello, wooden flute, harmonica , and she loves to drum on things. She lives on her own now. Some of her friends think she is too serious, and that she needs to learn to let people in.

Codeword: muttations
Comments/Other:

ok so this new set up for the character creation is awesome sooooo much easier. absolutly love it.

Attachments:

[Prince Inigo]

Hey there. ^^

I would like to see just a little bit more on the Personality section. I'll get into any delving in just a moment.

Overall, this application could get fixed on grammatical errors and possible spelling errors. I see a few run-ons, comma splices, and other little mistakes. Of course I'm not asking for complete perfection, but it could do with a tiny clean-up.

Please add a sort of physical flaw that detracts her from any beauty. Scars are commonly used by people to present coolness rather than a detraction a lot of times, so I would like to see a major flaw or multiple tiny flaws here. How is her teeth? Does she have many stretch marks from growing up? These are flaws I hardly see used in people's applications, and it would impress me if you - and others - set off a trend! Also, this here wouldn't necessarily belong in the Appearance section; more of the History section:

She received this when her parents were killed. Gwen doesn't remember all that happened, but that the house filled with peacekeepers and she woke up with that wound. The other scar is above her right eyebrow. This is from the only time she rebelled against the peacekeepers. She had realized that they had been the murders and went after them but got beaten. Gwen just does as she is told now.

You can set up a introduction to how she got it in the Appearance section, but don't write up a true explanation to it until we get to the History. It will make the History much more interesting if you give a premise but hold off the details. :D

Personality, I'm seeing, is lacking any real flaw. Everyone fears something or can get to some degree distracted; what we want to see in this section is how detrimental is the trait to your character. Is her fear so intense she starts shaking or is willing to spew out anything to keep herself safe? Is the fear so intense that it's a phobia? If so, does she start to lose control of her actions? Does her distraction cause he to lose hours of precious time? Beyond these two apparent negative traits, I would like to see more. These do make your good characters that much more interesting. :3

As for History, it's definitely met the required quantity, however if I were to uphold a sort of Tutor position for a second here, they love to see ages, specified dates, and time frames. 'Young' can be when she was four, seven, or even two. It's a very vague period, and it can lead the reader of your application wondering if anything happened before the deaths of her parents. After the death of her parents, was there anything interesting between that and the age of 14? Anyways, I'm not trying to get you to work more on the History, as it certainly met our standard. Just throwing the idea out there.

Please reply after making the necessary changes and someone will drop by soon. :3

[Alice Weather]

okey dokey i fixed alot altho i might have missed things.. let me know.. k good night all

[CC is SO Sorry D:]

Alright, let's see here...I'm going to work from Appearance downwards, since that seems to be the most logical option.

I don't really think that lifting baskets with her arms is going to affect her stomach, but it does fit that your character wouldn't have much of a belly, because the people in the districts are starved or close to it.

I suppose you could be a little more specific. How much does she weigh? How tall is she? Because her stretch marks are on her lower back and thighs, is that where she grew the most? Why does she love and hate her stubby nose? Things like that.

Something I didn't understand was how she thought her lips disappeared...? Oh, and this:

With her soft blue eyes that stand out from the sea of red hair.

That sentence should probably be written something like this: Her soft blue eyes stand out from the sea of read hair.

Alright, moving on. Personality.

You forgot a period after the first sentence. You should use spell check, because immensely was spelled incorrectly... This was worded strangely:

She daydreams constantly about finding a true love, but then wakes up to the reality. That there may not be any one out there for her, and that is just to hard to think about.

The break between the sentences would have worked much better after "that there may not be anyone out there for her", and take out the "and" after that. That would sound better.

That's all for personality.

On to History...

The are only two things I would have to say. The first is that I don't understand what you mean by the fact that someday she will know how her parents died. Is that referring to the fact that she found out about the Peacekeepers? The second thing is that I'm quite sure that even in Panem, minor's can't legally live alone.

By the way, staff, Alice asked me to go through this bio, and just correct some things I found. Not trying to be purposefully annoying or mean. Even though it really seems like that, doesn't it?

Anyways, Alice, I really like her and actually think you did quite a good job. I'm just trying to be particular about the things I found confusing. I think that for one of your first characters, she's very in-depth and interesting.

--CC--

[Alice Weather]

ok i fixed her with the amazing help of the one the only CC... lol but hope she is ok.. im working hard to make her perfect. okeydoey.

[Alice Weather]

ok i think she is ready for round two.. lol yay....

[CC is SO Sorry D:]

A few punctuation errors to work on for next time, and please don't double post.

...But...

ACCEPTED.