So It's Fairly Simple {Nervoux}

[Morgana]

Memory Lane

I don't believe in anything but myself,
I don't believe in anything but myself.

People think I'm too old for school. They don't say it, but I know they think it. I can see it in their eyes as they walk by. That girl? In school? But she must be eighteen by now! I know it isn't normal. I know it usual. But I have my reasons. It's not as if my family needs me to work, anyways. We have enough money. Mother doesn't see anything wrong with it. So I go. I study hard, I get good grades. I have to. If I don't, I'll never get out of here.

It's more important now than ever to study hard. I'm seventeen now. Pretty soon I'll be applying for the college in District Six. And if I can't prove to them that I'm worth it, I won't be allowed to go. I have to get out of this place. I have to start fresh. Of course, even in District Six, there's no guarantee I'll be able to start over. People there, once hearing my last name, will no doubt connect me to my half-sister, Enigma Lane. The sister I never knew.

I wish my mother had told me sooner that I had a sister. I would have liked to get to know her. Well, I suppose I had two sisters. Enigma had a twin, Lainey, but she died six years ago. I don't even know what she looked like. She doesn't matter to me. It's Enigma that I regret not knowing.

My walk to school is long, as always. I take the back roads, to avoid people. I don't really like crowds, especially when there are multiple people staring at me, wondering why I'm carrying school books. It's just easier. When I get to school, I take my usual seat near the back of the room. While I wait for everyone else to arrive, I start reading War and Peace, a book I recently acquired. I'm surprised it wasn't destroyed by the Capitol long ago, just for the title of the thing. But I guess it survived somehow. Just in case, I keep the cover page hidden from view. Wouldn't want to get in trouble for reading something I'm not supposed to.

I left a bit earlier than usual today, so I have a while to wait before class starts. People file in the door, slowly at first, then in bunches. All of the students are crammed into one room, since there aren't really that many of us. Anyone aged five and up sits in this room from nine to three every day. That is, everyone that hasn't stopped coming so they can work instead, and support their family. Mostly, it's the younger kids, and the few older teenagers like me that don't have to work.

Eventually, the teacher walks to the front of the room, signaling the start of class. I put my book away and pull out a notebook. she writes down various math assignments, one for every age group. I pull out my math book and flip to the correct page, then get down to work. I know I have to finish quickly, because Mrs. Ogren expects me to help with the younger kids. I don't really like to, but I guess it means she'll put in a good word for me at the college. Which is something I really need.

But then you opened up a door, you opened up a door,
Now I start to believe in something else.

[Nervoux]

Thalia Rose

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Thalia stood by her broken wooden door quietly, the sun already beginning to beam down on the old house. Her head rested stiffly against the doorframe as she stared out toward the forest, a shameful feeling of longing spreading through her veins. Some would think that she had learned her lesson, being forced to the Detention Center, but little did they know that that little trip made her passion grow even more. The second her eyes fell upon the thick trees behind the fence, they would glaze over and become replaced by the memories of her mother. The memories of the trips they used to take together, her mother's beautiful voice, Chloe getting poisoned...

The last thought snapped her out of her daydreams, her brown gaze quickly turning away from the nagging forest. Her eyes fell upon her foster mother who was standing there carefully, watching her. Things had become awkward between them ever since Thalia had gotten back from the Detention Center, for she was traveling down the road her mother took. The one that didn't end too well. "You're going to be late for school, better go ahead and go now," she stated, her usually calm and soothing voice containing a crisp edge to it.

Thalia sighed and nodded, not looking forward to the moment when she would walk up the old steps to the school doors. She rarely ever went to the school, she could even be considered a drop-out, except for her random visits when she wasn't needed at home. Without a word to her foster mom, she was stepping out of the extremely worn down house, her ripped backpack slung over her shoulder. Her feet semed to move on their own down the dirt road, the sight of the school up ahead seeming to tower over her. Nerves seethed through her, though she knew she was only psyching herself out.

With each step she took, the nerves began to gradually ease away. A small smile tugged at the corner of her full lips, the thought of not having to work that day seeming to lift her spirits. Today, she wouldn't have to go to the fields and pick cotton, or weave, or attempt to sell her clothes in the center of town. Today was for her, no matter how she spent it.

Thalia walked up the steps to the school, smiling to the kids that passed her even if she didn't know them. Despite her extremely long disappearance from the school's halls and rooms, she still remembered where to go. It was as if yesterday her real mother was holding her hand, smiling as a teacher told her how enthusiastic and positive Thalia was about everything. She sighed and turned into the cramped classroom, tensing slightly when she realized how many people were in the room.

The moment she stepped in, the teacher signaled the start of class, writing down the assigments for the different age groups. Thalia sat down in an empty desk next to a girl with long brown hair, almost red. She seemed to be a couple of years older than her, older than the kids she usually saw at the school. She forced herself not to look, though, and instead focused her attention on her assignment. Math. Her weakest subject, especially when she barely even looked at it.

Thalia clenched her hands into fists and took out her notebook, holding her pencil securely in her hand as she waited for the math to come back to her, though of course nothing came. She stared at the paper hardly as if the answer would pop out at her, for her mind had went completely blank. "This is hopeless" she murmured to herself, glancing sideways at the girl beside her who was quickly going through her math like it was no problem. Frustration was suddenly beginning to creep into her high spirits, spreading negative thoughts into her positive mind.

[Morgana]

Memory Lane

But how do I know if I'll make it through?

The math work today isn't really all that hard. Its mostly review, and the last chapter we've been doing has been pretty easy for me anyway. I hardly have to stop to think about how to do something, because it comes so easily. I'm almost halfway through when I hear the girl next to me say, "This is hopeless." I glance over at her paper and see that she hasn't written anything at all. She said the words so quietly, it was like she was talking to herself, but she looks at me, almost as if she was hoping I would hear.

The girl has brown hair and pretty eyes. She was small, but I can tell that she's only a few years younger than me. Mrs. Ogren expects me to help with the younger kids, and as far I'm concerned, this girl is younger. Even if it's only by a few years, it counts. She needs help, and it appears that I'm the only one around here that's going to give it to her.

I push my hair back behind my ears and set my pencil down on my paper, making sure it doesn't roll off my desk. "Do you need some help?" I ask quietly. I'm not quiet because I don't want to disturb others. The room is already loud, since the kids up front are whining because they don't understand, and all the eleven and twelve year olds are gossiping about something or the other instead of working. No, it's plenty loud in here already. I speak quietly because that's just the way I talk. I rarely have an occasion or a need to raise my voice. And if I'm quiet, I'm less noticeable. Attention is one thing I don't really need.

How do I know? Where's the proof in you?

((ooc: Sorry this took so long! >.<))

[Nervoux]

Thalia Rose

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Where do I begin?
Crying off my face again
The silent sound of loneliness
Wants to follow me to bed

Thalia stared at the page before her, trying to find some way to remember the math that seemed to have drifted away through the many absences. Frustration seethed through her, winding through her veins like a snake. The motion glinted in her brown eyes, her hand clenching around the pencil that was held firmly in her grasp. She silently began to breathe calmly in an attempt to relax, the action slowly beginning to blow the anger and frustration away.

"Do you need any help?" The voice was quiet; almost barely audible among the loud laughter coming from the group of kids infront of her and the whining coming from the front of the room. Thalia's head turned to the direction the voice came from, finding that the girl she had looked at earlier had asked her the question. Her gaze traveled to the paper before the girl, seeing all of the words written on it, as if she had already finished her assignment.

Thalia hesitated for a few moments, her hands clasping before her in her small lap. After a few moments of contemplating how to answer, she nodded profusely, her brown waves of hair bobbing up and down. "Could you? Math isn't my best subject..." Her words were also quiet, though they came from emberassment more than anything. She couldn't bring herself to say that she only went to school when she had free time, which was usually about two times a month. In the back of her mind, there was always shame in the idea of living in such a poor family, for she knew it was cause people to look down upon her.

Thalia pulled her gaze away from the girl for a few seconds, her hand moving the notebook closer to the edge of the desk so she could see. Streaks of red flushed her cheeks as she barely glanced up, a slight smile of thanks tugging at the corner of her lips. "I'm Thalia, by the way," she said, her words spoken louder than the mumbles from earlier. Her emberassment was already beginning to fade into the back of her mind, hiding behind the other emotions that began to surface. Like always, she began to pull the positive thoughts out of the back of her mind, layering them over the many negative memories and thoughts that continued to try and break through. And they always did manage to break through the wall of positivity, causing her to collapse within herself and give into the many memories that haunted her dreams at night.

She opened her mouth to tell her the assignment she needed help on, though the sound of a door opening shattered her train of thought. Thalia's head turned to the door, her confused gaze landing on the large form of the mayor standing stiffly before the open door. A hush seemed to move over the room as all the surprised faces of the children turned to face the guest, their mouths falling open in awe. It was rare for the mayor to visit the school.

Thalia's eyes swept over him, taking in all of the features that were etched clearly across his face. Contained in his eyes was the usual melancholy look that usually appeared on the faces of District Eight citizens, a look that gave away the fact that he was not here on a happy note. Her weary eyes traveled down to the way he continued to sway back and forth on the heels of his feet, his sweaty palms clasped tightly behind his back. His gaze swept over the class a few times before he cleared his throat, his mouth opening to give the news that no one had been expecting.

"I came here to give you some uhm... bad news." His voice quivered slightly, though he quickly regained himself and continued. "I'm immensely sorry to tell you that District Eight will not have a victor this year..." The silence in the room after the words began to ring in her head, the sound of a pen dropping echoing against the walls and sounding in the enclosures of her mind. Glances were exchanged, murmurs finally beginning to be heard as the words finally processed in the children's minds.

Thalia glanced around the room, her gaze following the mayor as he and the teacher stepped out of the door to exchange a few words. A melancholy feeling settled in the pit of her stomach as she thought of the two tributes, wishing that their lives hadn't been ended so soon. What were their names? Oh yes, Anya and... Sebastian. Sebastian. Suddenly everything began to process in her slow mind, everything seemed to go silent and move in slow motion. He was dead. He promised to come back.

A strangled cry escaped her parted lips, her hands pulling up to ball up some of her hair in her sweaty fists. Thalia's eyes shut tightly, shutting out the gazes that were suddenly falling on her. Images of the boy flashed before her eyes. His silhouette against the night sky as he stood before his mother's grave, the feeling of his hand grasping around her arm as he told her not to leave him, his eyes lighting up as he took the small slice of bread from her hand, his haunted gaze as his name was called for the Reaping... the feeling of his lips brushing against hers for one mere second. The memories were beginning to flood through the thick layer, the wall of positive thoughts breaking as another cry escaped her.

Tears welled up in the corners of her brown eyes, the salty liquid streaming down her cheeks. "No. No no no" she whispered shakily, the murmur barely audible among the whispers of the children around her. Thalia's shoulders shook with sobs as she hunched over, the realization that the only two loved ones in her life had left her completely beginningt to settle within her. Her mother, who had risked her life for her, and the boy whom she suddenly realized she had fallen in love with. It was too much, and she was creating a scene. She needed to get out of there.

Thalia's eyes opened finally, her vision blurry as she shut her notebook. She attempted to get out of her seat, though her legs seemed to give in beneath her, forcing her to sit down back in the wooden chair. Suddenly the feeling of just giving up began to weave thrugh her, causing her to slump over in her chair and let the tears fall down her cheeks. Her sobs grew quiet, the ominous silence finally beginning to ring in her flooded mind. She knew that many gazes were staring at her, and she knew that the girl whom had suggested giving her help was probably taking notice of the breakdown before her. But quite frankly, she didn't care. All she cared about was the loved one that had once again been pulled from her grasp because of the Capitol. She had had enough.

[OOC: So sorry for the long wait, I promise I'll post faster this time...]

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