Bleed It Out(Atoa)

[Solace]

Awakening in a daze, Vincent waited until the dingy ceiling to his room had become clear before sitting up. His breathing was ragged and his head was pounding. It took a few minutes for last night to come back to him, but when it did, it came in a rush. Vincent remembered the blood and the razor and the lack of mentally pain that came from it. It was wrong, Vincent knew that, but sometimes it couldn't be helped.

He got dressed in a plain green long sleeved t-shirt. The season wasn't right for anything long-sleeved, but Vincent had a major exception. he also dressed in a pair of black hiking shorts, though he surely wasn't doing anything of the sort. His necklace, the one he gave to him, was on his neck, as always. Vincent didn't bother with shoes. he left, unsure of his destination in the outside world, but knowing he didn't want to stay in this house any longer.

After a moment of wandering the streets, his thoughts turned to the boy he met. The boy that kept him from seeing Anthony again. Vincent didn't know if he should be upset or thankful that he did that, all he knew was that he hasn't seen the boy since. Vincent wasn't sure if he wanted to see him again. The boy was nice to him, even made him feel better for a bit. Vincent wasn't sure how he felt about that, he wasn't sure how he felt about anything now. everything was confusing and without point to him.

Vincent thought of, then turned and bumped into him at the corner. He froze, unable to move.

WORDS; 0214
TAG; Atoa
MUSE; 0075%
MUSIC; give me novacaine by green day
CREDIT; thavron @ caution

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[A Toa's Friend (atoafriend)]

"Remember to keep the money in your front pocket."

"Okay!"

"And don’t forget to grab some sugar on the way, we’re almost out."

"Yes, ma’am!"

Feliciano ran off from the farmhouse, basket in hand. It was his job to go to the market to buy ingredients and supplies every day. Sometimes the farmer would go with him, but most days it would just be him. At first it had been a scary place, with everyone scrutinizing him in every way (not to mention he was very clumsy and forgetful). But now almost everyone knew him, and they were all pretty friendly. Some of them would even give him a little extra something, or a discount.

The weather was wonderful outside, and the sun shone down warm on Feliciano’s back as he meandered down the country road towards the market. On days like this he would take the longer route, where the land seemed like it stretched on forever, with some farms and houses visible far off in the distance. He walked past a more beaten down path that led to a steep patch of forest, where there was a clearing at the top of the hill and everything could be seen there. When he was done with shopping, Feliciano would go up to the hill and lay there, all of District 8 in sight. He decided to hurry up with his shopping and do just that.

When he passed the next small hill in the road, the market came into view. It seemed that everyone was taking advantage of the weather. All of the farmers’ stalls were out (which was a rare sight), and here and there children chased each other down the streets and into the surrounding fields. He picked the first stall, which had some fresh vegetables and fruit.

"Doin’ some shoppin’ for yer folks?" the farmer greeted, tipping his hat.

Feliciano smiled. "Yes, sir," he replied cheerfully. "It’s wonderful weather for it, isn’t it?"

"Indeed. It’s good to have some warm weather before the harvest sets in."

Feliciano picked out some tomatoes, onions, celery, and even a few apples, and paid the farmer. He wondered if Mrs. Kennel could make some pies with them later. That would be wonderful, he thought, strolling down the street, stopping here and there to greet other farmers and browse at their products. He would buy some sugar, and maybe even something nice for Lovino, then head to the hill and stare at the sky for a bit, or weave something out of tree branches. Then he would head home and Mrs. Kennel could bake an apple pie, and he could eat some while stargazing. Perhaps he would even see Pegasus in the sky again…

The thought of the constellation brought back memories of that encounter a few nights ago. He had managed to bring the boy back into town and to his family (the sheep was never found) before heading home himself, and then Feliciano hadn’t seen him since. Was he okay? Did he still want to kill himself? It occurred to Feliciano that he hadn’t asked what the boy’s name was. And it was dark, so he couldn’t remember where the boy’s house was.

Shaking the thoughts from his head, he skipped around the corner when he stopped at the sight of that boy standing there. He was wearing long sleeves, which Feliciano found odd considering the weather was perfectly fine for lighter clothing, but he dismissed it.

"Oh, hello! How are you?" Feliciano greeted, smiling. "Are you here to do some shopping as well?"

[Solace]

Vincent didn't know what to do. The boy was obviously a happy child, why should he get mixed up with someone as miserable as Vincent? Why should he bother? Vincent had the idea that he should stay away from him, but how was that far? To have someone listen after so long seemed to be a miracle. It was selfish, Vincent knew it was selfish, but he still couldn't bring himself to them the boy who comforted him to leave him alone.

The boy asked him how he was doing. Shame flashed in his eyes before he turned his head away, unable to bring himself to answer his question. He asked Vincent if he was here to shop. Vincent turned back to him and shook his head, unable to speak at the moment. If the boy knew what'd he'd been doing, would he still try and help? Vincent thought he would. That made him feel like a burden. Vincent was nervous now, shaking a bit. Should he show the boy his scars? he was afraid too. His other hand moved unconsciously to the the other that had the scars on ,his wrists before he realized what he was doing and dropped it. He would probably get the hint. Vincent turned away in shame again, feeling his face flush.

WORDS; 0274
TAG; Atoa
MUSE; 0075%
MUSIC; give me novacaine by green day
CREDIT; thavron @ caution

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[A Toa's Friend (atoafriend)]

The boy turned his face away and shook his head, his hand rubbing at his wrist nervously before suddenly dropping them back to his sides. It was all rather odd behavior to Feliciano, but he shrugged if off. There were odd people in the world (Feliciano himself was one of them). Perhaps this boy was just very very shy when it came to dealing with others. And maybe he still hadn’t completely recovered from what he had gone through. Feliciano thought for sure that if it were him that had seen what this poor boy had seen, he would certainly go completely insane.

"Ah well, today’s wonderful weather for walking around anyways!" Feliciano chortled, swinging his basket. "That’s why I’m here to do some shopping. I’ve got some vegetables and stuff, even some apples! And right now I’m on the lookout for sugar. The only thing I don’t get is meat, because the butcher scares me, but the farmer I work for or my brother come to get the meat on other days; they’re not afraid of him at all, see."

The boy still looked rather nervous; perhaps he was also afraid of the butcher. That wouldn’t be surprising: the big man who handled giant knives and chopped meat to pieces like a lumberjack would be scary to anyone. Even Lovino got a little nervous around him sometimes, although he’d never admit it to anyone.

Feliciano hummed for a few seconds when he suddenly remembered he still didn’t know the boy’s name. "Oh, I almost forgot, you never told me your name! I’m Feliciano Vargas!" he announced cheerfully, holding out his hand.

[Solace]

Vincent took the time the boy, Feliciano he introduced himself as, talked about the groceries to get the nerve to say what he had to say. "Listen," he said, probably surprising the boy."Nothing's changed. I'm still the same way I was... when you found me that night. I've been like this for years. All that's going to happen to you by continuing to talk to me is you'll end up as miserable as I am. I'm sorry." Vincent said. He didn't want too though. He wanted a friend, but not if that meant making someone as depressed as he was. Before Feliciano had the chance to say anything, Vincent was off. He prayed he wasn't followed.

When he finally stopped, he looked around. He was little way off from the buildings of District Eight, but not close enough to the fence to get in any kind of trouble. Vincent felt as if he had been running for hours, but the reality was was only ten minutes. Whatever the case, he was sure he lost Feliciano. Knowing this, he felt relieved but miserable at the same time. A small part of him, a part Vincent was terribly trying to repress, hoped he was followed by the one who saved his life on the night Pegasus was clear in the skies. When Vincent closed his eyes, he could still see that beautiful constellation.

Vincent leaned back against an oak tree, trying to gather his thoughts. It would be best if he went home now, but he honestly didn't want too. It was a peaceful Autumn day and he couldn't bring himself to want to be inside. Once he was actually comfortable and sure he was alone, he hard the crunch of dried leaves. It didn't take a damned genius to figure out who it was."Goddammit!" he thought.

WORDS; 0302
TAG; Atoa
MUSE; 250%
MUSIC; give me novacaine by green day
CREDIT; thavron @ caution

[A Toa's Friend (atoafriend)]

[[Long post is looong. O.o]]

"Listen," the boy said suddenly, taking Feliciano by surprise. "Nothing's changed. I'm still the same way I was...when you found me that night. I've been like this for years. All that's going to happen to you by continuing to talk to me is you'll end up as miserable as I am. I'm sorry."

Before Feliciano could think of what to say -- or think at all -- the boy took off away from the town. Wha…?? None of it made sense to him. He stood there, dumbfounded, basket in one hand and the other toying with the button on his shirt. The boy’s words made no sense to him at all. He didn’t feel miserable at all when he talked with this boy; if anything, he was grateful that he didn’t think he was weird or talked too much, or too scatterbrained. It felt nice to just ramble on in his own way without anyone smacking or ignoring him. Sure, there were times when he would get sad and cry, but those moments were short-lived.

The longer Feliciano stood there trying to make sense of it all, the more he realized that he should do something. He felt rather dumb standing there in the middle of the street. He wished Lovino were here to help him sort things out and tell him what to do -- but the truth was that he had to figure this out on his own. Finally, after what felt like forever, Feliciano gave up trying to make heads or tails out of it all and ran down the street to where the boy disappeared. After all, he still hadn’t told him his name.

The road that the boy had took off on was the same route that Feliciano had took coming to the market today. He started off with a dash, but after a few paces he had to slow down. More than anything, he hated running. He hated it with a passion. Unless he was scared -- then he would run faster. But right now there was no angry Lovino or animal chasing him, so he kept an easy but brisk pace. He had no idea where to start looking for the boy; he could be anywhere by now. Part of Feliciano did not expect to find him at this rate, but he kept walking. Perhaps he would get lucky.

After a few minutes Feliciano was considering giving up. All the running had made him tired, and even thought the basket only had a few groceries it was starting to get awkward to carry. He wasn’t far from his favorite hill, either. No one would blame him if he went there to rest or take a nap. But the image of that boy standing there at the edge of the cliff just wouldn’t leave his mind. It was a weird feeling in him that he couldn’t describe; almost like guilt, but different than the guilt he usually felt. It was something like what pushed him to chase after the wool lamb in the forest that night.

He shook his head and looked around at the trees around him. He probably wasn’t far from the hill. Feliciano walked closer to the trees when he noticed dents in the leafy carpet of the forest floor. Had that boy been through here? He decided it was worth a shot, the dry leaves crunching musically under his feet as he made his way further in. Feliciano’s heart leaped when he saw him leaning on an oak tree. Part of him was glad that the boy had come here, and not back to the fissure near the fence, and that he appeared otherwise unscathed.

"Ah, there you are! I’ve finally found you!" Feliciano cried out happily. He tried to think of something else to say, but he couldn’t think of anything good. For a few seconds he fiddled with the handle of his basket, wondering what he should do next, when an idea popped into his head. He skipped forward and grabbed the boy’s wrist, prepared to ignore any protest he might give. "Come on, I have something I want to show you. It’s not far from here," he said, pulling the boy along behind him through the trees.

It didn’t take long for Feliciano to find the little pathway that led to his hill. He had guessed right; it wasn’t far from here. He marched on along the path, still leading the boy behind him, until they finally reached the clearing. The whole trip had taken only a few minutes. He didn’t stop until they reached the very top of the hill.

It was a clear and sunny day, which made the usually nice view all the more better. Feliciano was sure that he could see further than he did on most days. He turned to the boy. "Isn’t this place nice? Sometimes when I’m done with the market I’ll come up here and play for a bit, or take a nap. Then I’ll either wake up or Lovino will come for me if I oversleep and I’ll go back to the farm." Feliciano paused for a few seconds to look around. "You can see the whole district from up here! Today’s weather is perfect, too! See, there’s the District Square and the Peacekeeper Headquarters, and out there are the grazing fields. Look, there’s the market we were just at! And if you look far enough waaay over there -- " Feliciano pointed out to the distance " -- you can see the farm where Lovino and I live!"

[Solace]

Vincent watched Feliciano approach, feeling powerless as ever and slightly dazed. He didn't even know what to do anymore and he felt as if everything was spinning. Before he even knew it, Feliciano was standing in front of him and pulling him to his feet. He felt himself grabbed by the wrist and pain shot through his entire arm. Feliciano had to grab him right where his fucking scars were. Vincent gave an unwilling yelp, but he doubted his companion heard him.

While he was dragged, he all he could feel was his wrist throbbing in Feliciano's grip. At some point his shirt sleeve for his free hand snagged on some branch or bush, he didn't see it, and tore it right almost right off. His scars on the other hand were easily visible but he was too out of it too try and hide them. He just let himself be dragged along.

Once Feliciano and Vincent arrived to their destination Vincent just stood there while Feliciano talked. "Isn’t this place nice? Sometimes when I’m done with the market I’ll come up here and play for a bit, or take a nap. Then I’ll either wake up or Lovino will come for me if I oversleep and I’ll go back to the farm." "You can see the whole district from up here! Today’s weather is perfect, too! See, there’s the District Square and the Peacekeeper Headquarters, and out there are the grazing fields. Look, there’s the market we were just at! And if you look far enough waaay over there you can see the farm where Lovino and I live!"
Everything he said passed in a blur to Vincent. He was too amazed by the view; it was beautiful.

"It's amazing..." Vincent said, not really hearing himself. He may have seen this hill from town before, but was never on it. What made the view from this side so amazing? Vincent was pulled from his daze only a little from a feeling of something warm on his arm, it s blood. Vincent realized he must have been cut by whatever tore hos shirt. it didn't matter, it was just one scar to add the others. Then he realized, to his horror, while was staring at this beautiful view, Feliciano was probably staring at how he hurt himself.

WORDS; 0383
TAG; Atoa
MUSE; 250%
MUSIC; give me novacaine by green day
CREDIT; thavron @ caution

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