Rolling the Dice {Ali}

[Deleted]

Noelle Pines

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The darkness seemed to last forever. There were no dreams in the darkness, nor were there feelings, thoughts, or memories. It was like being awake while you were sleeping, trapped in nothing. Was this what the afterlife was supposed to be? Was this really where it all ended? The darkness dragged on for so long, that it was hard to believe there was anything else. Darkness was all that existed now.

Honestly, it wasn’t much different from before, except for the fact that not only had Noelle lost her sense of sight, but she had lost all of her other senses too.

It only ended when Noelle gathered up enough courage to open her eyes again, to see what was beyond her own death. It took more effort than she could imagine, leaving behind the darkness she knew so well. She wasn’t prepared for the blinding light that was about to engulf her. When Noelle opened her eyes, a tear trickled down her cheek. All of the darkness had washed away, and light had replaced it. Wonder filled Noelle’s heart, and she fell victim to her tears.

Remembering the colors of the sky and the texture of the trees was more than she could have ever asked for.

Noelle was lying in a bed of flowers: flowers she had never seen before. A calm breeze swept across the land, while the sun seemed too bright to be true. Noelle sat up, her glittering red hair falling gracefully past her shoulders. She looked down at her clothes, realizing she was no longer dressed in her tribute uniform, but instead a pair of shorts and a white blouse. She smiled, realizing she was no longer just a piece of the games. She had escaped that dreadful trap; she was out of it forever.

Noelle stood up with ease, the warmth that surrounded her, bringing a shiver down her spine. She took a glance at her surroundings, suddenly paralyzed by the beautiful sights. Before her, was the sea, stretching on and on. Or was it a lake? Noelle wasn’t positive, considering it was nothing like what she had seen back in District Seven. Ending the water, were mountains, so many of them reaching towards the sky. Noelle was so touched, she could barely process the fact that she was crying. She smiled through the tears, turning around, towards the forests and the meadows, everything too breathtaking for her to handle. And that’s when she saw it: the creek. She almost fell backwards at sight of it, the one place that had meant so much to her.

Noelle approached it cautiously, almost as though she doubted its existence. As she got closer, she saw another figure, sitting at the edge of the water. It was a small girl with long brown hair. The girl suddenly looked back at Noelle, a smiled igniting her face. With a few long strides, she ran straight to Noelle, embracing her tightly. “…You’re not supposed to be here yet,” Ruby whispered, letting go. Noelle had no response to that. She was too exhausted to talk about her past. Either way, excitement was flowing in Ruby’s eyes. After a few seconds, she grabbed for Noelle’s hand, her childish nature suddenly present again. “C’mon,” she said, ready to run off. Noelle quickly pulled her hand away, looking back towards where she had started. She was suddenly overcome by worry and fear. Everything here was too perfect to be real. It seemed artificial.

“I have to find someone,” Noelle said sternly, as Ruby stood, waiting. She was so focused on everything else in her mind, that seeing Ruby seemed like something that could wait. At least for now. Noelle knew she was being selfish, but she couldn't help it. Dice had to be out there, somewhere, unless he had won. Noelle had to find out. She had to know where he was.

Taking a step, Noelle’s surroundings suddenly changed. She was standing in the middle of a meadow, woods on all sides. Strangely enough, a small piece of Noelle, wanted to be back in the arena, back where she had someone to stand next to her. This world was foreign to her. Even with Ruby and Jenanine here…Noelle felt utterly alone. Noelle had let Ruby’s memory slip aside a long time ago; seeing her was almost like walking back into a memory. Memories weren’t alive.

Noelle suddenly remembered what fear felt like as she stood there, on her own. Fear was what she felt, only when she was lonely. She had no idea where she was going, or what she was to do. Another tear escaped her eyes. She had made a mistake when she killed herself. Because now, all she wanted was to be with Dice again, even if it meant losing her sense of sight.

Noelle took a few steps further into the meadow; what was she waiting for? Or rather…whom? Suddenly, Noelle felt something hard beneath her feet. She stopped, looking down. It was Dice’s sword; the one Noelle had used to kill herself. Carefully, she picked it up, her hands trembling. She had made a mistake, a mistake she couldn’t undo. She had left the one person who had taken away her loneliness. She had saved him with this sword.

A moment later, Noelle saw a figure at the other end of the meadow, emerging from the trees. She looked up, squinting to see who it was. The long blond hair gave it away. “Alikia.” Noelle suddenly wondered if she knew where Dice was. Was he with her? Why hadn’t he come to find Noelle? She felt a bittersweet taste in her mouth, envy seemingly creeping up on her. “What are you doing here?” Noelle called out sharply. ”Where’s Dice?” Noelle looked down at the sword in her hands. If this sword was here, then so was Dice.

A shiver of fear trickled down Noelle’s spine. Maybe Dice had forgotten about her; maybe he truly loved Alikia more. Maybe everything Noelle had known had merely been an image of her imagination.

And now, here Noelle was, in the most beautiful world of all, wondering if it was all just one haunting nightmare. [/color][/blockquote][/size][/justify]

[ali]

Nothing. That's what greeted me. No tunnel, no light- just empty blackness and Nothing. I felt nothing, saw nothing, heard nothing. The warmth and cold was gone- but as quickly as Nothing wrapped me in its blanket, it was gone. Nothing was gone in a blink of an eye. I could feel; I could feel something rough yet soft and gentle beneath my skin- I could feel clothes around me, I could feel the warmth of the sun against my face. I could hear- I could hear the songs of the birds singing melodically, I could hear the rustling of the breeze, I could hear my breathing. Then, with one flutter of my eyes- I could see. The sky above me was notoriously baby blue, with the odd floating fluffy cloud. Framing my perpetual vision fanned beautifully golden grass- no- corn. I blinked again sitting. My hair fell across my shoulders; neat, brilliant blonde and best of all- clean. I looked down and realized I wasn’t wearing the bloodstained shirt anymore. The golden and ruby red shirt along with the ¾ lengthed trousers had all been replaced with a short white flowing dress. It was beautiful. I couldn’t help but noticed that my feet were bare and I smiled when I wriggled my toes. And of course, sitting on my collar bone was my mothers necklace.

A short happy giggle erupted from my mouth. I felt more alive than ever- I may be dead but I had never felt this my life course through my body like electricity. It felt all too good. I got up and span round in a circle, brushing my fingers against the tips of the wheat. The soil was warm beneath my bare feet, it tickled as they turned and turned and turned. I came to a stop with a burst of ecstatic laughter, I was free. I looked round, finally getting a good look at my surroundings. Beautiful naval blue mountains sat on the horizon, with their ice white snow topped tips glistening all too bright in the sunlight. Around me lay a field of wheat that seemed to stretch on forever and ever. Ahead of me sat a woods; glorious luscious green leaves and soft brown branches danced lightly in the breeze. My smile grew- where ever I was it was breath taking beautiful. Sadly- the gleefulness of the situation soon faded along with my smile as a figure walked from the woods. A little girl with brilliant brown hair and blue eyes. Katie.

I took a step forward my jaw falling open “Katie...”

Katie didn’t hear me. She just turned and looked back at the woods as a second tall elegant figure exited the woods- her long golden hair blowing in the wind. Mum.

“Mum....”

They still didn’t notice they danced and played in the sunlight, the wheat whistling round and round their dresses. I took a tentative step closer. I could hear their laughter- how happy they were. They seemed oblivious that I was here. Another step and I could see their faces in more finer detail; my mothers perfect smile, my sisters button nose. I took another step closer as tears choked me from the inside out, tears threatening to break through my eyes. Another step later and the two had begun to dance back towards the woods. A frown formed on my face as the laughter gradually grew quieter and quieter. Suddenly I found myself in full sprint towards them, my feet drumming against the warm soil. My hear rippled behind me as I ran, their figures getting closer yet further away. I pushed myself onwards as they disappeared into the woods.

“MUM! KATIE!” I shouted.

I took a step into the forest and the mood suddenly changed. I didn’t feel safe. The trees were no longer luscious green- they’re leaves had turned to a dark muddy olive colour- the barks of the trees almost as dark as nothing itself. I caught my breath. Had I fallen into Hell? Was this what Hell was? It couldn’t be, Hell was a fiery pit. This was just a tiny bit of heaven that turned dark when the candles were gone. That candle being my happiness. I took a step forward, deeper into the woods. My mothers and sisters laughter echoing in every direction possible. It was impossible to tell which way they went. I took a tiny step forward, deeper into the forest. I continued on, deeper and deeper I went. Light continually fading. It was somewhere near the centre- or atleast what I thought was the centre when I trod on something cold and smooth. I jumped back. I looked down and saw it. A Dicentra flower trapped in glass.

Dicentra Gambler...Dice. Dice was gone. Back in the world of the living back where there was everything- except me. I wished I hadn’t died. Died so soon. I couldn't go back- my death wasn’t my choice. I just wished I could be with Dicentra Gambler for longer- watch him with the Games. I honestly wished that I had died at his hands- it would have been an honour.I looked at the flower and bent down and picked it up. A sudden sense of worry and almost heart break washed over me like a cold mountain breeze. It was at this point I knew Dicentra Gambler was dead. There was no way it could be here without him. Could it? Maybe he’d given it to me....maybe he wasn’t dead after all. I took a few more steps, feeling pretty pleased with the thought that he could be alive. Then I saw the whole bracelet, sitting on the branch of a meesly looking sappling. I moaned in horror. He was dead. His bracelet was here, which almost certainly meant he was here. I closed my eyes fighting back the tears. Quickly I snatched the bracelet and held onto it tightly.

I continued walking towards an area of glistening light ahead- hearing someones footfall. Could it be Dice’s? I wasn’t sure. After a few more steps I found myself in a clearing. Light fell through the open canopy, allowing flowers too bloom and flourish in the suns rays. The grass was brilliant lime green. Despite the cool and tranquility of it all I still couldn’t think about anything else but Dice. I looked up and saw someone walking into the clearing. For a moment my heart soared above its maximum capacity then fell suddenly at the realization of who it was. A brilliant- fire red haired girl stood a few meters away. She had tree green eyes and freckled skin. I knew immediately that she was from District 7. Noelle Pines. That was her name. I frowned for a second wondering what she was doing her. Without a moment to even ask such a question, she strides over- her gait is both demanding and terriying.

“Alikia. What are you doing here? Where’s Dice.” Noelle said sharply

I floundered for my words for a second. I had no idea where Dice was. I had only found- well his bracelet but then again, that could be here for a number of reasons. I swallowed before speaking.

“I don’t know.....I don’t know” I said gripping the Dicentra bracelet tightly in my hand.

[Deleted]

This wasn’t what Noelle expected at all. She expected to feel happy with her death; maybe even relieved. She expected the afterlife to be a joyful place, where you didn’t have to worry about anything. Of course, however, Noelle was worried. She was worried about the people she loved, the ones she cared for.

She had been so strong when she had died. The moment she plunged that sword through her heart, she heard her own voice in her head, congratulating her on breaking through the barrier of fear she had faced. She had died herself: the strong, independent girl she was. But now, she was even weaker than before. Her strength had escaped her, and now, she suddenly felt like a lost soul in a big world.

And why was that? Because this was all foreign, all new. Even Ruby seemed different. Noelle hadn't seen her since she had left the district to go into the games. Had the games changed Ruby? Is that why she seemed so sharp, so distant, so eager? Noelle thought of the old Ruby. She had been like that too: eager and playful. Maybe Noelle was the one that was changing. Maybe this was all in her head.

Noelle's looked skeptically at Alikia. Envy filled the pit in her stomach. Just looking at her, Noelle saw such a pretty girl. Her hair fell so gracefully down over her shoulders, her smile was absolutely enlightening, and her white dress was sparkling against the sunlight. She looked like an angel.

Standing right across from Alikia, Noelle felt inferior in comparison. She was nothing. True, her red hair did give her a unique streak, but there was nothing beautiful or angelic about her appearance. She was dressed in a blouse and a pair of shorts, mostly likely because she disliked wearing dresses in the first place; and her skin was pale, dotted with freckles. She wasn’t slender, but still a bit skinny from lack of care. That was Noelle Pines. She had come to accept her appearance before, but she was in complete doubt now. Honestly, how could she even compare to Alikia’s beauty?

Noelle bit her lip, trying to keep her sanity. She looked down at the sword in her hands. It still had traces of her blood on it. She wondered what would happen if she once again, penetrated her heart with the sword’s sharp blade. Could you really die if you were already dead? Surely, you weren’t supposed to feel pain. Not here. Not in this paradise. At least, that’s what Noelle had believed.

But now, she wasn’t so sure. She had already gone through enough emotional pain to know that physical pain was quite a possibility here. Noelle looked at Alikia’s face, realizing how perfect she had looked with Dice, how sweet it had been when Dice had knelt over her as she died. Noelle remembered when she had practically forced her way into the scene, tried to defend Dice, and probably only made it worse. She remembered Alikia’s death, clear in her mind. Why hadn’t she given Dice more space? She had jumped on him, made him forget his past. Maybe it had been a mistake. Maybe meeting Dice in the training center had never been meant. Maybe Noelle had been meant to die alone. Maybe it would have been better.

Noelle felt like the world was resting on her shoulders, the weight bringing her down. The moment she had kissed Dice, that last time, she had thought of it as the moment of her life, the last thing she wanted to remember; and now, regret was what she felt. She realized, she had never even thought about whether Dice felt the same way about her, or if it was just her own feelings acting up. She felt her face heating up; had she really been that ignorant?

Noelle felt tears coming to her eyes; she knew that even here, in this warm colorful paradise, she didn’t belong. She let the sword fall from her hands, back to the ground. It brought a cold rush of regret to her hands when she held it. A tear escaped, falling down Noelle’s cheek. She knew it would be best to go back to Ruby and Jenanine: to spend the rest of her afterlife with them, in her little paradise over there. The thought made her feel like her heart was breaking into small fragments, piece by piece torn apart.

Noelle glared at Alikia, tears staining her face. Alikia was merely standing there, a Dicentra flower in her hand. Noelle knew she had to let it go; she had to let her past go. She had to move on and get away from all the beautiful memories that suddenly seemed so ugly. “Get out of here! Get away! Go find Dice! I know you love him! I know he’s looking for you!” Anger filled her insides. She didn’t want to see Alikia. She didn’t want to see Dice. She didn’t want to see anyone.

“Go!” She shouted. Dice and Alikia were too perfect together. To step in between them was out of the question. Still, frustration overcame Noelle. When Alikia didn’t move, or get out, Noelle bent down, getting her hands on a fairly large rock. "This place isn't real....none of this is real! You're not real!" Before she could even think about what she was doing, she threw it in Alikia’s direction. This wasn’t even the games, and she had just made the attempt to attack someone. She had been lucky not to get her hands on that sword, or else, things probably would have ended even worse. She took a surprised step back, watching as the rock flew towards the girl. There was an empty pit of regret in Noelle’s stomach. Quickly, anger, jealousy, and frustration filled it.

[attacks Alikia; rock]
[dice=200+8000]
[Bruised Right Hand - 2]

When the rock hit Alikia's hand, Noelle saw it starting to swell. She wondered now, if you really could feel physical pain here. Noelle looked down at the ground, muttering her words. "I'm just a fool who thought wrong." She made her words soft enough, so that Alikia could not hear.

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[ali]

I watched the red haired girl as she continued to stare at me. I wondered why she wouldn’t stop- she was scaring me. In this garden of Eden where everything was supposed to be bitter sweet perfection, I found myself recoiling from her glare.Noelles eyes were angry- jelous filled. I couldn’t quite understand what I had done wrong to make her feel this way, had it been something I said? Surely it couldn’t have because I had spoken a matter of vowels to her. I wondered if it was the fact I held Dice’s token in my hand- but why would she care. None of the feelings of terror were helped much by the long blood encrusted sword she held in her grip- one I vaguely recognized.

All of a sudden the girl began to cry. I was shocked by this sudden out burst of emotion. Guilt washed over me and I wanted to comfort Noelle, even though I barely knew her. I wanted to apologize as well- but both actions were crippled by my shyness. I had had very little friends back in District 6- but now I htink about it I don;t think I had any friends. I think the girl named Pam and Elliot the one I thought I loved; friendships were false. I also thought I fancied Elliot- but for some reason I knew I was wrong. That my crush on him had also been false as much as his friendship towards me. I was bought back to reality only to find Noelle shouting.

“Get out of here! Get away! Go find Dice! I know you love him! I know he’s looking for you!”

Love. I felt my heart almost skip a beat at that moment- the sudden crecendo in my musical body. Love- I loved Dice? My mind began denying the fact over and over again but my heart, on the other hand, was saying something much different. It kept saying that the boy named Dicentra was the one I had to fall in love with. I felt the blood rush to my ears, again. I was embaressed to admit it, especially to Noelle who still stood there in front of me bawling her eyes out. I still felt the urge to hug the girl but for some reason she kept shouting- some lines barely understandable.


“Go! "This place isn't real....none of this is real! You're not real!”

What happened next happened very fast, yet very slowly indeed. Noelle had thrown a large rock in my direction. I felt like the world around me was crumbling as I feared the thing I had just escaped from. The rock flew towards me and I cringed away from the rock holding up a hand to protect my face. THere was- well what I’d call a tingling- pain in my hand. Peering out from behind my eyes, I could see my hand start to swell. Meanwhile Noelle looked at the ground muttering to herself. Suddenly I knew why she had looked angry- Jealous. She had liked Dice.

I felt betrayed almost hurt- I also wanted to laugh at her. I felt like she was no match for me, she was just the girl who jumped at her chance before my body had even hit the floor. Noelle’s actions- even though they were estimated by the way she was reacting- disgusted me. She loved Dice- even if he didn’t love her back- and she had thrown a stone at me because I felt for Dice just as much as she did. I felt a rare pit of anger bubble inside me and I had lashed out at Noelle; which I wouldn’t have usually one but I had just fallen out the games, some of that instinct was still there. I didn’t have anything on had so had to use my bare palms to do damage.

[Attacks Noelle, Unarmed]
[dice=200+5000]
[Gash Wrist, 3 damage]

My nails dug deep into Noelle's wrist, drawing a few drops of blood. As I pulled back, the blood ran over her wrist freely from the gash I had just carved. I breathed heavily as a slight wash of regret washed over me. Then I remembered why I had done it and the feeling was gone. I scowled lowly at her..


“Don’t throw stones Noelle! Haven’t you heard they break bones” I said sarcastically before pausing and saying flatly. "Why Would You Care Where Dice Is"

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[Deleted]

Noelle held her wrist with her other hand, bringing it to her chest. The gash that Alikia had just inflicted on her, proved one thing. She could still feel pain, even if she couldn't die from it. Or could she? Noelle was more confused than ever. The confusion was pushing her to the edge. The fact that Alikia was standing directly in front of her, made it even worse.

Apparently, Noelle had underestimated Alikia. Had Alikia really attacked her back, and made a larger gash with her bare hands, then with what Noelle could do with a stone? Maybe Noelle was weak. Either way, she had never really seen Alikia as the aggressive type: partly because she had never seen the girl attack anyone before, for they hadn't seen much of each other in the arena and partly because Alikia had a natural air of...innocence. Her white dress, her glistening smile: she seemed so at peace. But maybe she felt jealous, the same way Noelle did. What did she have to be jealous of? Dice was hers.

Noelle glared at Alikia once more, anger bubbling inside her. Had she not just given Alikia the chance to walk off and go find Dice? Had Alikia really not accepted that offer? "You sure you don't want me throwing stones? Because I can definitely pick up that blade instead." Noelle said this in response to Alikia's childish sarcasm, eyeing the sword on the ground. She could easily pick it up and take control of it, but she decided, no, that would be cruel. This wasn't that serious yet, but if it lasted...then maybe...just maybe it would be a good idea to pick it up.

But gosh, this girl was getting annoying. Normally on Earth, Noelle knew she probably would have been polite with Alikia, maybe even smiled at her, while she died a little inside every time she thought of Alikia and Dice. But this wasn't Earth. Here, there was nothing to lose, and that was just what Noelle was thinking. Let it all out: that's what she wanted to do. She wanted to feel the anger bubbling inside her; she wanted to feel human.

When Alikia asked why she would care where Dice was, Noelle almost lost it. She knew it was time to walk away from this, to go find Ruby and hide away from her own feelings, but those words had set Noelle on edge. She felt heartbroken, lost, and alone. "You know what? I don't care where Dice is! I thought I cared before...but now, it doesn't matter!" Noelle was shouting so loud, she was short of breath. After a few seconds of recovery, she opened her mouth again. "Go ahead! Go find him if you want! But I sure do hope he breaks your heart!" Just like he broke mine...Noelle thought. She suddenly wished she could redo it all. Dice had tricked her, hadn't he? Why hadn't she remembered the look on his face as Alikia was dying? He had loved her, in a way that Noelle knew, she could never be loved.

Another burst of anger rushing through her, Noelle advanced towards Alikia. This time, though, she was unarmed. She lashed with her good hand.

[attacks Alikia; unarmed]
[dice=200+5000]
[Bruised Right Collarbone -- 2]

With purpose, Noelle let her other hand touch Alikia's snow white dress. As she moved away, she saw her own blood, from her gashed wrist, staining the cloth. She smiled slightly in satisfaction. If her paradise was going to crumble down, then Alikia's would too. It was all Noelle's stubborn nature; that was all this was. She could easily end this now and walk away, but no. This was personal. Noelle needed to get it out of her, rather than hold it in.

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