School Bells ((OPEN))

[Delphin]

It was a battle just to get up this morning. The stress of the Bloodbath catching up with her in the late hours of the night, after everyone went to sleep. Delphinium still woke early, though. The early rising was ingrained into her system no matter what happened the night before.

It was vexing, to be honest.

Nonetheless, if her sister had to go to school, she sure as hell was going too. She glanced over her shoulder at her slumbering sister, stealing away downstairs for breakfast before it was too late. Del tried to make her sister breakfast on a regular basis, but sometimes there just wasn't enough food.

She just buttered the toast when Carolynn stumbles down the stairs, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "Morning, sapling," she grinned, sliding the toast across the table to her sister. Undoing the sloppy bun her hair was tangled up in, Del quickly braided it. "Ready to go?" Carolynn asked softly, standing by the door with a canvas schoolbag slung over her shoulder. She shrugged in response, closing the door quietly behind her as they left, stepping out into the early morning chill, the streets already bustling with activity.

Carolynn caught sight of some of her classmates, rushing over to them with a wave to her elder sister. Delphinium followed behind, hands in her pockets. "Seeya, sapling."

She arrived through the gates sooner than she had hoped. The crowded hallways were a mere annoyance. The constant chatting of unimportant things, books being dropped, people being pushed. High school was a jungle. Delphinium could wait until her sister was a freshman. She was so small, so fragile. The blue-eyed teen didn't want her to realize that the words of your classmates hurt just as much as cutting her hand with a thread.

The bell cut through the hallways. Some people jumped, laughing at their reaction. Some grumbled, shoving away their teasing friends. Delphinium didn't flinch. She listened to that bell every morning, and it always sounded the same. Why should it? Two of its students were send to their deaths. It was disgusting how nothing seemed to change when everything was different.

And this is why Delphinium never bothered to say goodbye to a tribute before. It messes with her head.

She slid into her seat, flipping open the single notebook she used for her classes, tapping a green pen on the blank page. Del liked taking notes in class. It let her pay attention. Though in the highest level of history, she couldn't help being bored, just slightly. what they were learning has been taught before, so her professor allowed the students a few extra minutes in the morning.

A lot could be said in a couple minutes. Many of the people around her were talking amongst themselves. Del wasn't. She didn't have the flair of gossip like other girls her age. These minutes were useless and boring. Not like anybody talked to her anyway. Not that she cared, she'd rather get the most out of her classes though, no matter how limited the subject matter.

[arx!!]

|||`Griffin Brayden Edwards--:.

Life without you is worthless.

That's why I have chosen to die.

My world no longer has any meaning.

You were my life.

But now you have gone.

Somewhere in a far off world.

Why can't you come back to me?

Why can't you be my world?

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]

Capitolites just don't get it. Deaf people can't hear. So when they press microphones to his face and swarm him with questions that he cannot hear, what do they expect? For his mind to just randomly will him to be able to hear for 5 minutes? That just doesn't happen. The ruler of all beings, whatever great force that may be, just doesn't allow it. And they don't seem to realize that I will never answer their questions because I know their voices will never reach my ears. Why can't they figure it out? Besides, they should know by now ... Ember will win.

Griffin stared at his desk. Another day at school, another day of boredom. Except, the last couple weeks had been different. Everyone was noticing him. They all seemed to make efforts to say 'Sorry.' or 'How are you?'. Some even tried to figure out a few signs, or even make their own up in an attempt to get his attention. Except none of them ever truly had his attention. He was focused on Ember. Everyone around him seemed to think that Ember wasn't coming home. She wasn't dead. Yet. How could they imply she would die? How!? None of them understood. None of them knew Ember Hilbrook. None. They were all focused on Berkley anyway. They thought he stood a chance against the other tributes that were still alive in the Arena. Whatever.

He hadn't noticed his pencil moving on the paper on his desk. Smooth, simple strokes created a picture. It was the classroom. Except, it was a more elegant form. A softer image of the actual, real-life room with swirls and soft-edged features. He wished he could be in the picture. Maybe Ember would be there, sitting in the seat next to him. Maybe she wouldn't have had to leave in that world. He remembered watching the Bloodbath, watching Ember get attacked by the multiple weapons; knives, swords, switchblades. He hadn't wanted to watch that part of the Games, but he knew that deep down he had to. He had to know. He had watched her interview too. He had signed back at the television screen, although he knew she couldn't see him. Their goodbye had just not been long enough. He wished it had lasted forever. But then that wasn't exactly a goodbye was it?

He looked up. History was actually a fairly fun class for him. The teacher had the most dramatic motions. He looked like such a joke, waving and flailing around like a maniac, trying to explain things to the rest of the class. And sometimes, they would get to see pictures of the Capitol; the buildings, the people. Despite his hatred for the Capitol and its residents, the landscapes were sheer beauty with there flashy neon lights and skyscrapers that etched themselves in the sky. It was alot different than District 8, that's for sure. Perhaps he could live there someday, if only for the modern beauty of it all.

But District 8 was where Ember lives. Yes, lives. And she will always live here. And Griffin knew that meant he would always live here too. He reached into his pocket. He felt the large jewel on the gold band and the etching of the words, 'Remember, always.' He had bought the ring right after she left. It was going to be her 'Welcome home' gift. An engagement. He wasn't sure she would accept, but he would give her the ring anyways. He wanted her know that he loved her. Wanted to be with her. Forever and for always.

Looking to his right he noticed someone familiar. A girl he had seen before. Where ... ? The Justice Building. She had been the last to talk to Ember before her departure to the Capitol. But, Ember had never introduced this girl to him. Who was she? He quickly ripped a piece of crinkled paper from his sketchbook. He scribbled, "Hi. I am Griffin. Who are you?" Sure it was blunt and to the point, but he wasn't sure of what else to say. He tossed it on her desk, trying not to draw attention to himself. Perhaps she remembered him, or knew him, or had told Ember something important before she left. He wanted to know. He had to know.

[Delphin]

Delphinium stretched in her seat, willing her tired muscles to wake up. She read and re-read the school notes from the previous days, mentally storing the information in her head. It would be useful from now until she graduated, but beyond that? She'd probably forget most of it, honestly. She tapped the paper with her pen, a rhythmic sound that was comforting in this world of secret backstabbing. Boys had it easier. They could settle their arguments with a punch, and be best friends again five minutes later. Girls had it tougher. They were a secret sort of creatures; all the fighting had to be sneaky.

To say the least, a notebook suddenly appearing in her line of vision surprised her. She startled, just slightly, though noticing the innocence of paper bound together, Delphinium couldn't help but wonder what has scared her about it in the first place. It was probably just the suddenness of it. She lifted her head, picking up the notebook gently, her eyes running over the words, once, twice, three times.

She knew of him. Griffin. He was one of those people who you couldn't live in District 8 and not know about. That didn't mean she knew him beyond his name and his condition. She didn't. The list of things she knew about him were numbered to five, at most, but she was almost certain that he knew even less about her. They did have one thing in common though: Ember. Normally she would be wary about this kind of thing. You never know what kind of jokes your classmates could pull.

But this was different, so she responded. Her letters were blocky, neat and orderly. The green contrasted against his pencil strokes, the ink smoothly copying down on the paper. "My name is Delphinium Ridiris." She paused, unsure of what to say next. She looked to her left, watching him for a moment before returning to the note. The letters seemed uncomfortable on the page, closer together and more slanted. "I watched the interview. You and Ember are very close, right?"

It must hurt to see her in the games. Delphinium herself was more hung up on the 59th Hunger Games than usual. She actually said goodbye to a tribute. Part of her wished she didn't, but another part was satisfied with her action. She hung onto every second of the bloodbath, chewing on the inside of her lip. Tense muscled, her fell back on the couch with relief when she had survived. Part of her knew she would. She would come home. But you could never be to sure. It was early in the games, yet.

She finished her response, leaning over in her chair to place the notebook on Griffin's desk. She straightened, half of her attention focused on the front of the class, half of her attention focused on Griffin's reaction.

[arx!!]

```Griffin Brayden Edwards-:.

In my heart she shall always stay.
Remember, always.

Griffin glanced towards the clock. What time did school end? He needed to get out. Go somewhere more ... serene. Peaceful. He tried to find that place in his mind but just couldn't place it. Everywhere he went someone from the Capitol shoved something in his face and asked a million questions that he couldn't hear or answer. No place was safe. Not anymore, not right now. Ember was the only safe place. If she was with him today, there wouldn't be anyone following him, no need to think of an escape plan, no need to be passing notes during History class. And no need to worry about a single thing. But she was gone. She wasn't in District 8 right now and sadly, that meant that he was being pestered by Capitolites, was thinking of an escape plan, and was most definitely passing notes during History class. Why couldn't the past be changed?

His notebook flew in front of his eyes and landed on his desk, causing his pencil to fall to the floor. He looked up quickly, making sure that the teacher wasn't looking. Luckily, he hadn't noticed anything while he was acting out the events of history for the class. He quickly picked up his pencil before reading her reply. "My name is Delphinium Ridiris. I watched the interview. You and Ember are very close, right?"

Griffin blinked at the green letters. What a name. It made his name seem even less boring than it already was. Close. Hell, he wanted to marry her. Obviously, Ember had something about them dating to the audience as well because everyone sure seemed to know about them. And he always got kids walking up to him and asking him about Berkley. As if he knew. He didn't know the kid, and because Ember was going to win, he would never know Berkley. All he knew was he was a farmer boy. His family employed a lot of people. They were quite important to District 8. And since he never foraged an alliance with Ember, he didn't really care much about him. At least not enough to pay attention.

Griffin etched new words onto the paper below the green writing of Delphinium. "Yeah. Dating." He debated whether he should tell her more. He decided he didn't want to, at least not yet. He didn't know her and it was definitely possible she could tell the press everything he wrote down. They didn't need to know he wanted to marry her or that he loved her more than his own life. He wasn't sure anymore ... If Ember died in the Games, he wasn't sure if he could keep going. His life would never be of any value without her. He was just a useless, lonely, deaf boy without her.

But he had to add a question to his response. It was why he was talking to her after all. "What did you say to Ember? Why did you go see her?" He didn't want his words to seem blunt and accusing, but to his eyes, the words jumped of the page in that way. Anger had certainly set in his heart when Ember left. Pure rage at just about everything. How could the capitol think taking her away was a good thing? How could the force that controlled the Earth just take her from him? Hadn't they taken enough already? Maybe they hadn't, maybe they had. But Griffin guessed if they hadn't granted him the ability to hear, that magical force would never grant him the chance to love and be loved either.

[Delphin]

For a teacher with little to teach, he sure was excited about class. Taped to the board were pictures of the Capitol, and Del tried not to show her feelings on the subject. The capitol was just too much- of everything, really. Too much food, though part of her doubted that could even be possible; too many lights, and people, and movement, and too much loud, too much of everything. No, Del would not like to live there. She had to admit though, as unpleasant the notion of living there, the buildings were beautiful. And the gardens, hells teeth the gardens. Though not in the wide open spaces that Delphinium grew to love, they were spectacular. Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head when she saw them; she was almost positive that her jaw hit her desk, and then bounced down to the floor.

The notebook landed back on her desk, more gently, and this time, Del was prepared for it. "Yeah. Dating." Ouch. That must be rough. But she was skeptical at the same time. Dating wasn't the kind of word she'd use to describe them. From what she observed, they were much closer than 'dating'. She rolled the thought over in her head, concluding that there really wasn't a word for their relationship. Maybe 'dating' was as close as they could get in words. She didn't look very closely, she didn't have the chance. There relationship is a little hard to avoid now that Ember's been reaped.

She responded: "Make it easier for yourself and just think of me as Del." She was very conscious that her name was quite a mouthful, but she was very strict about nicknames, other than 'Del'. Only her sister had permission to call her anything but. Most teachers just settled on calling her by her surname. It was easier for everybody. His next questions, though, made her freeze. She read the words over and over again, the expression on her face stilled.

The frist question was easy enough to answer. "I told her that her hands will save her life." She hesitated. She wanted to say that Ember was coming back. He probably already knew that though, and if she didn't. Well... she didn't want to jinx it. She avoided that particular statement, though nearly 90% of her confidence was in Ember you could never be too careful.

But the next question was not as easy to answer. In fact, it was rather hard. She didn't want to write it out. It was a long story, and showed some weaknesses on her part. The blue-eyed brunette wasn't too keen on giving anybody anything that could potentially be used against her. She wouldn't put her sister at stake like that. What if those pesky reporters that flocked around Griffin got wind of it? Would they put it in the news? Would they jinx her sister's chances for getting selected? She didn't know, she really didn't, but her gut was telling her that the Capitol was capable of all sorts of dirty tricks. What about Ember? It was unheard of for a victor's sibling to be selected in later games. But it was technically possible, wasn't it?

The more rational half of her brain was telling her that she was being ridiculous, that the Capitolites would not care about her and her devotion to her sister. They wouldn't care about the advice she gave a fiery tribute. They certainly wouldn't care about job, or her school. She wasn't terribly pretty either. If she was honest, they could do something with her eyes, yes, but ultimately... No, the rational part of her brain was right.

But she couldn't help but be worried. "Can you understand me if I tell you in person, someplace quiet... Or do I have to write it all out?" She closed the notebook, sliding it over to Griffin's desk when the teacher's back was turned.

[arx!!]

|||`Griffin Brayden Edwards--:.

My life ended when you left.
My life ended when you said, 'Goodbye.'
My life ended when you weren't beside me.
My life ended when you were no longer in my dreams.
My life ended when you lost your life.
My life ended when you left. Forever.

When the notebook was passed back to his desk, he opened it slowly. Not just because the teacher might be looking, but because Griffin wasn't quite sure if he was ready to see her reasons. He knew his reasons for having said goodbye to Ember, he loved her. But this Delphinium girl, what were her reasons? She hadn't known her. In fact, he was becoming irritated with the fact that this girl had said anything to Ember. She didn't even know her!

But he opened the sketchpad of his and saw more green letters. "Make it easier for yourself and just think of me as Del." Well, he couldn't really call her anything. She would only see his hands move for her name. He already had an idea about her name sign too. Her name looked alot like Dolphin. Griffin couldn't help but want to just call her dolphin. It wasn't like she would know what the movement of his hands meant anyways ... "I told her that her hands will save her life." Griffin couldn't believe she had something like that. Her hands would save her ... As opposed to her feet or her elbows? What? He wasn't really sure he understood what the words meant, but instead continued to read.

"Can you understand me if I tell you in person, someplace quiet... Or do I have to write it all out?" Griffin responded with a simple, "I can lip read. After-school. Wherever you want." He was a bit curious though, wondering how personal any of this was. How could anything she have to say be more personal than what he felt for Ember. And everyone knew now. All over Panem, they knew that in District 8 there was a deaf boy that was dating the District 8 female tribute. They even knew his name ... Nothing was secret anymore. He supposed it had never been a secret, just unknown, but it still seemed like nothing of his was private anymore. Not that he cared much. Heartbreak did that.

He passed the sketchpad back to Del and waited. After-school. He needed to make sure he watched an update of the Games. It had become routine now, checking the television after-school everyday. He had to check Ember's status. He could care less about the others, but it was so important to check on Ember. It was mandatory. If he didn't know, he panicked. Not knowing made everyone panic. Or so he thought. But he rethought his theory because he was sure that there were people out there that would rather not know. And no knowing caused them to remain calm. But he wasn't like that. And he found himself becoming paranoid for the past few days. Not knowing did that.

And he found himself angry. He was no longer upset with or crying over the loss of Ember, but was enraged. Mostly for no reason. He wasn't sure who or what he hated, but figured it must be the Capitol. Anger was growing inside him and he couldn't get it to leave him. And that's what the loss of his only friend had done to him. That was the one thing that scared him. He wasn't used to rage and anger. It was such an overwhelming feeling and he couldn't help but wonder if it might swallow him. Would any of the loving Griffin be left? Or would he just disappear within the new one that was growing?

[Delphin]

She received the sketch pad once more. The brunette chewed on the inside of her lip, suddenly nervous. She hadn't explained it right. Could she even explain it? She felt that she got the point across pretty well when she was in there. But she was hyped up on adrenaline, and relief. Could she repeat it? Did she want to, even for Ember’s best friend? She partly couldn't believe he was still going to talk to her. She frowned to herself. Her soft heart has won out again, no matter her calculating protests, and it got her deep into 17 levels of uncomfortable. She could feel his anger flowing off the page, and it made her shift with unease.

As the teacher taught on, she thought about it some more, twirling the end of her braid in her calloused fingertips. She could hear the clock behind the words, absorbing the gentle ticking, and not the history going on in front of the class. Mentally, she made herself a list, a list of things to ponder, to think about, or perhaps to banish from her thoughts altogether.

A. What did she really mean when she said goodbye to Ember? She felt guilty. Delphinium assumed that was the main cause of it, really. The pair didn't know each other very well, and aside from the one of two group projects, they could hardly even say they were linked. That would probably be because she didn't really have any friends. The ones she did have, she would die for, but her busy life had no room for people on the sidelines. She was far too occupied with her family.

B. Which brought her to the next tick on the list. Her family. She was so consumed in their welfare that she was beginning to notice the worried glances her mother practically shoved in her face. She pretended to be as oblivious as her sister, though. It was just easier that way, though she knew with a nagging that dominated her empty stomach over the past few weeks that the likelihood of her father surviving the winter was next to nothing.

Was it better to not know, and fall apart when it finally happened, or was it better to know and have to wait for it? Tensions in the house were rising, no matter how hard the teenager tried to do everything.

C. Maybe that was part of the problem. She was only 17; she couldn’t do everything. She had a job, yes, and she was good at it, but that didn’t change things. It bought more bread for her sister, and peace-of-mind for her mother. There was nothing she could buy her father. She knew this, yet her lion’s heart was full to the brim of denial.

The bell rang throughout the school, and her eyes snapped up to the front of the room. Abruptly standing, she made her exit, throwing her bag over her shoulder. She placed the sketchpad on Griffin’s desk, sending the boy a wordless smile. Six words were printed on the sheet. With a nod of agreement, her words confirmed what her actions spoke. She would see him later. They would talk- well, she would talk.

“Meet me on the front steps.”

[arx!!]

Griffin let his eyes wander over the green script. 'Meet me on the front steps.' She was walking past him, as was the rest of the class. He stood and walked out of the classroom as well. The bell must've rang. Once again, he hadn't been able to hear it. He remembered when he was little and there was a fire drill. He hadn't moved and left with the rest of the class, but instead remained back in the classroom, playing with an action figure. One of the past victors. Left behind holding a Victor in his hands. He only wished he could be holding the future Victor's hand now. Why wasn't she here? Weren't Victors supposed to return home? Where was she? Where was Ember?

School blurred the rest of the day. And all Griffin could think of was Ember. And his mom. His mom entered his head a few times. She had written a letter to him not too long ago. She usually just sent gifts, but this time she had written a letter to go with it. Oranges and some Capitol clothes. And a letter. She had written it herself. It wasn't a generic card, it was her. When he opened the letter a picture had fallen to the ground, but he had ignored it, too intent on reading something from his mother. Writing to him was like speaking to him, and surely she had to know that. His deafness had been why she left. She must know this meant so much to him.

'Griffin, my son. I'm sorry for have never written you. I do wish I had because I could've told you how much I love you. But I write you now because I feel that I am finally strong enough to address you. I know you probably hate me for leaving and probably don't believe me, but I love you and I miss you and I'm so sorry for leaving you and your father. The truth is, I couldn't stand seeing you in pain. Not being able to hear me sing lullabies to you or hear my soothing voice when were scared. I wasn't ready to the your parent. That's why I left. Not because of you, but because of me. I just wasn't ready. I'm sorry for failing you, Griffin.'

Tears streamed down his face. He hadn't been sure they were tears of rage or pain or longing or happiness, but they were there. And he had almost forgotten to read the rest of the letter after that point.

'P.S. I watched the tribute's interviews. She really is beautiful. I hope you enjoy the picture I sent and I know she will be the one to make it home. The odds are in her favor.'

He bent over and picked up the picture. The back was labeled simply, 'Ember Hilbrook. 59th Hunger Games Victor.' He turned it over to see a picture of her. It was a picture of her during her interview. She was beautiful. She was perfect. And she would be the Victor. He let his mind give a silent thank you to his mum. Although she had left and had never written him, he still loved her. He loved her and missed her. The oranges she had sent that day were gone within and hour, and he wore the outfit she had given him through the night. And Ember's picture was now held in his pocket. Always.

When the final bell rang, he left the school. He stopped on the steps looking around for Del. He held has sketchbook in his hand and he had a pencil behind his ear. He was ready for a chat. And a serious one. No more thoughts of his mother, for the moment at least. Right now, Ember was the only thing he was worried about. It was time to figure out who this Del was.

[Delphin]

The rest of the day was like molasses dripping out of a bottle: unbearably slow. Each second ticked by, loud in her head, as she tried, almost desperately, to shuffle her thoughts into something akin to order. In mere hours she would meet up with Griffin again, and what did she have to tell him? Anything of significance was stupid, anyway. He would be angry, but then who wouldn't be angry? She was some stranger and she had the gall to say goodbye to his girlfriend? To say the least, it was chaotic. She shuffled through her classes, quick to sit down and quick to leave. Del went through the motions, except the usually bright and dedicated student was unfocused. She didn't put any effort into the days studies at all.

When the last bell finally rang, she bolted from her chair, pent up energy running like fire through her blood. She found herself in the crowds of students, flowing like water, but hot with gossip and unimportant secrets. Eventually, she exited the front doors to find that Griffin had made it there first. He was facing away from her, his bag slung over his shoulder. Nerves bubbled in her stomach, and whatever plan she had made all day to talk to this boy flew directly out the window.

There was too much to feel. Too much guilt and anger and sadness and indifference. There was really too much of everything, and Del didn't know how to handle it. Her sister could handle it, she knew. Her sister would never be in this situation. But Delphinium was not her sister. Delphinium was not good with people, and therefore, Delphinium was going to monumentally screw this up.

She approached him, passing him gently and walking down a few steps before looking back. She didn't speak. Even if he could hear he would have trouble understanding with so much noise. The end of school was always like this. Obnoxious, but you got used to it. She rang her fingers over the strap of her bag, wringing the leather in her fingers, while running through her head some places that would be quiet, and Capitolite empty. The library, of course, came up again and again, so she decided that it was really as good a place as any.

Nodding her head in the general direction of the worn down building, she walked down the rest of the stairs, going fast enough as to not piss off other students, but slow enough so Griffin could keep up. It was an art form she had perfected with her sister. Walking in crowds and staying together was dangerous, but with time, it became easier. Crowds moved a certain way, and if you understand the crowd, you'll have no trouble getting to where you need to be.

It was faster than she would've hoped to get to the library. She hesitated outside the building, waiting for Griffin. She opened the door, allowing him to enter first, so she could have a brief moment to gather her thoughts. The dust-filled library was as old as all that, and probably filled with the same useless information stated using different words. Despite this, she came here often. It was empty and quiet, and really, the perfect place to think.

The dust danced through the overhead lights. The electricity in this building was questionable at best. It flickered and ducked around corners like a petty thief. Delphinium walked in, rising her head straight on her shoulders, correcting her posture. She could do this. She could do this.

It was deserted, even the librarian in the back corner of her office. She walked to the middle of the room, and turned to face the boy.
"Okay. What do you want to know?"

[arx!!]

```Griffin Brayden Edwards-:.

Griffin watched as the girl walked past him, giving a subtle nod towards that told him to follow her. He couldn't help but wonder why she had to be so secretive. Was there something he didn't know?

The throng of people running from the school was overwhelming. They all seemed to blend together into one being, all moving in one direction, synchronizing every one of their movements with eachother. It was beautiful the way they seemed to exit into the horizon. Right into the sun and the clouds and the sky. Some days he wished he could join them, he wondered if when the sky wrapped its arms around you if it was warm or cold or soft or firm. Is that where everyone traveled to get away? Was that the escape route?

Griffin found himself nearly running over a little girl in the paths he was crossing. He was causing the disturbance of the crowd, of the crowd of one. Wasn't that how it always was? He always seemed to ruin things that were perfect. His parents' marriage, the District's production ... Everything. It would just be best for him to leave wouldn't it? Maybe he should leave to go to the horizon now, enter the world of clouds and blue sky and warm sun rays. It would be the best for everyone right now. No one needed the deaf boy from District 8 for anything. Nobody.

Griffin felt his hands ball into fists at the sight o f the library. Did this Del girl really think that it was okay to come here? This was his place. His. Did she think she could take it away from him like this? This was the only place he could escape. Children were never here, none of the other kids actually read, the press couldn't ever find him when he was here, and Ember knew this was where she could find him. This is where he could be found by the one he loved. And only she knew that. But now, this girl stands in the middle of the library, trying to make it hers ... Griffin made sure to unclench his fists before he stepped into the library. She didn't need to see him angered. She shouldn't get to see him a all.

Her lips were easier than others to read. So it was simple to answer her question. Besides, he had already planned the whole conversation out in his head. He thought he could predict exactly what would happen through this whole conversation. He already had the question written down from their previous conversation.

"What did you say to Ember? Why did you go see her?"

[Delphin]

His question was already written down and everything. Del glanced up at him, guilt weighing down her stomach. He's been waiting for this, and Del could already taste how her answers would be received: with anger and bitterness. With a deep breathe, one she didn't feel deserving of. Why should she be able to breathe easy while Ember was in there counting down her seconds? The first question was easy, she was relieved to see. The second, however. That was bordering on majorly difficult and only slightly treasonous. She could get arrested for that, which is why she didn't dare speak about it.

She spoke slowly, but surely, and quietly enough so the librarian in the corner couldn't hear her. She deftly pulled out a book from a nearby shelf, and flipped through the pages. She wasn't looking at them though. She probably already knew what was in it anyway.

"I said that she had a real chance of coming back, and if she played it smart, she would. I told her that her hands would be her most important tool. There is a reason she was born in district 8. Using our hands is our most important asset as a district. I also told her that over-thinking will get her killed. You can't be the same person when you're in there." Her brow creased. She didn't look at him, but she didn't move her face away. He needed to read her lips clearly the first time. She couldn't risk telling it again.

Something dropped in her stomach, like a hard weight. Dense nerves reacting to any sudden movement with the gusto of a toddler in a candy shop. "And that factors into why I went to see her. I know as well as anybody that my name could've been picked from the stupid ball. My sister's name could've been picked. My best friend's name, my cousin's name. And I've been really lucky. I haven't been picked. Nobody I love and depend on has been picked. It's a miracle." A pause, stretching out with the ticking seconds of the broken library clock. "But I have changed because of the Games. Last night, when that boy who nearly killed Ember died, I was glad. It's sickening. That boy has family, and friends and lovers back home too. Doesn't he deserve to go home same as anybody? But he didn't survive, and I was glad. I hate how the Games are changing me into this thing that I'm not. I'm not even in the Games, and they're changing me. It makes me so angry, and I can't do anything to change it. I'm helpless against it, and that is how the Capitol has control. Because he's making people not care. I hate that more than anything."

Now that she finished, it was as if a heavy coat was lifted off her shoulders. There are some things that you could never remove though, and she would gladly carry it if meant that her family didn't have to. How many people would say the same? So much self-sacrifice and it didn't make one lick of a difference. After a moment, she found more words bubbling up on her lips. "I understand why you're defensive. You have ever right to be. But I'm not the enemy here. And I refuse to be the punching bag in all this. I have confidence that she will come back, but until then, being angry at someone who is just as helpless as you are is not going to solve anything. Sometimes I wonder if being angry at all, for anything, will ever make a difference. But that's the Capitol's goal. They don't want us to be angry. If were not angry, what is there to control? It's a damn lottery and we're required to play. But if we don't care about playing, there's nothing stopping them from anything. You think it's bad with two people from each district? What about four, or six? What if there wasn't a age restriction? The capitol can only go so far because as long as we keep caring, we're only going to stand for so much. So, be angry. Just don't push people away. We need to stay together more than anything."

She forced herself to stop before any more rebellious and treasonous words came off her tongue and carved themselves into her skin. The only sounds were the inhales of two teenagers and the occasional rustling of paper. She looked at the book clenched in her hand, and gently put it back on the shelf.

"Any more questions?"

[arx!!]

|||`Griffin Brayden Edwards--:.

Griffin watched her lips carefully. He wasn't about to miss the excuses she would most likely decide to fabricate in his presence. But he knew he could tell. If she lied now, he would know and keep that lie in his mind forever, a remembrance. But as she continued speaking, different words leaving her lips, the solemn kind, the sincere kind, Griffin's thoughts began to jumble around into a new story. There was a new picture. A girl who just wanted to remain herself, a girl who wanted to be her own person instead of being owned by the Capitol. And she was right, right? The Capitol only wanted to see the citizens care. Caring equated to control. Any feeling or emotion equated to control. The Capitol was a power that monitored every move he made, every thought he thought, every secret he whispered. Sure, they weren't right there standing next to him physically, but they were there whether he wanted it or not.

"... We need to stay together more than anything."

Together forever ... ?

-------------------------

The breeze blew the hair that dangled over his ears, tickling his skin. The air was crisp, ready to freeze any rain that thought it could poor down. It was sure to turn to snow. The fluffy white puffs would scatter over the landscape, over the harvested fields, creating a blanket that would put the torn fields to sleep and usher the farmers into their homes. They would sip cider all winter while the snow covered their work place, the field would hibernate, sleep until the protective cover of white fluff melted away in the sun and the farmers walked over the field once more. And they would plant, then upkeep, then harvest, and then again the snow would fall, and again they would retreat, and again the field would sleep. It was a cycle. Did nature work in a cycle? He was sure his life did. Get up, live a worthless life, sleep. When would death break the cycle?

-------------------------

Griffin looked at Del. She was completely sincere. The conversation he had planned out had disappeared. He needed a new sheet of paper, a clean, white piece. A redo. To start over. He shook his head at her. No more questions to ask, there was no need, he had all the answers. And what flashed on in the TV screen at the library gave him answers as well. It wasn't the answer he wanted, but it was an answer. Besides, when was the answer ever the actual solution? When was the answer ever something you wanted to hear? Or in his case, know.

Anger. It drives the sane men ... insane. And when anger forever entered the body, it could never be expelled. Rage was always there. Anger came when loss came. When anger entered, it was because loss was present. So when something is torn away from you, the feeling of loss enters into the body with more force. When something is torn by some other force, rather than cut by oneself, the pain hurts more. --- So when the Capitol tore Ember away from District 8, away from him, the pain spread and anger grew. It grew and grew and grew until it was an all consuming force that couldn't be controlled. And only did it burst from within him when the Capitol was able to tear away the life of the one he loved, Ember. Only did the rage explode from him when the dying flame that had always continued to burn on, finally was forced to go out.

In my heart she shall always stay.
Remember, always.