-it's-been-so-long- [geebs !]

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I was careful with where I walked in District Four. Always was. The people were always twice the size of me and looking for a fight. That's the way I saw it at least. It seemed like they were all burly sailors that liked to drink and fight. Maybe that was only at the bars. Which kind of made sense. You wouldn't see somebody who wasn't violent and drunk all the time in a bar. Usually. Unless you were insane and kept changing personalities every hour. Like some of the people that I had worked with before in my life of crime. They scared me the most. I was a self-acclaimed crazy, but I wasn't even close to being like that, thankfully. I would have probably begged to be killed if I was that insane. I would have begged anybody to kill me just so I wouldn't have to be crazy like that.

Now I'm rambling and I don't even have a tongue. Is it really possible to ramble without a tongue? I suppose if you talk to yourself in your mind, yeah. "But you're not talking to yourself Lane, you're talking to us." Yeah, shut up voices. Well, surprisingly, I don't have voices. Most people used to be shocked to hear that. Now I have no voice at all. None. Not in my head and none when I try and make sound. All I can make are grunts and moans that are not even close to words. That's what happens when you do something bad and get caught for it. So the lesson for today kids is never get caught because then you might have your tongue cut off and you might never speak again. And it's not fun. I mean, I haven't been able to say anything sarcastic for the longest time.

I haven't been able to see Bear since then. I haven't been able to bring myself to seeing him. He had made it out with no injuries. I took all the punishment. And part of me believes that he feels guilty for that. The other part is thinking about how badly I wish it never happened. I mean, I liked having my tongue. It had always been a good body part, in my opinion. It had always been used well by me. And now it was gone and I had no way to use it. Unless I wanted to use the little stump of it that still remained, but that would mean I'd have to find a way to- just nevermind. My tongue is gone and there's no way to get it back. And that's probably the one thing that's bothered me in a long time. And now I can't even fight back because I can't say some smooth comment or something.

But this guy has always helped me. I had decided to come to four just to see him. It was suicide to go, but seeing as I went to jail without fights, my 'bounty' was cleared. So, now I had no worries about getting arrested again. At least until I killed somebody else. I had the blood lust again. But for now, I'd have to stay calm and enter the Peacekeeper building like a normal person. I was here to see Cassius. He had always been a friend, even if lately we were on opposite sides of the law. And to be honest, he was the only one I could really talk to right now. Wow, bad wording. He was the only one I wanted to write to right now. I wasn't ready to face the others in Stained Transactions or to be with Bear and Bells. I only wanted to see Cassius and I didn't know why. So, as I knocked on his door, all I could hope for was that he wanted me in.

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[sbeeg]

The Head Peacekeeper of District Four was where he normally has on any given day, in his crisp, white office reading. With his feet propped up on his desk, Cassius was attempting to get rid of the files that were starting to make an impressive pile on his desk. One of the downers of being a Peacekeeper- paper work. Cassius despised the stuff, he'd much prefer to be in the Detention Center or scouting the streets of his District for certain... valuables.

Popping the paper back into a straight shape, Clayburn skimmed the information. These files were about as entertaining as watching paint dry. Throwing the file onto the read stack, Cassius rubbed his temples to rid himself of the headache the clean white walls and papers gave him. Standing, he stretched out his muscles, walking around his office trying to occupy himself from complete boredom.

The citizens of District Four should be in high spirits, they still have on tribute in the fray this year. Pity the girl was killed, she was a pretty little thing. The boy shows promise though, hopefully District Four can bring home a winner this year, it'd lift the spirits and maybe there'll be less of those damn files. Dragging his feet, Clayburn sat back down at his desk, flipping open another file and propping his elbows up on the edge to hold his head up.

Some 16 year old girl was caught fishing after hours. Hm, maybe he could be the one that shoes this girl what happens when you break the law in Clayburn's District.

Knock. Knock.

Disrupted from his thoughts, Cassius shut the file and tried to look more awake.

"Come in," he called, shuffling the file into a separate pile.

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Was I really about to walk into his office? I mean, last time I did, everything worked out fairly well. He wasn't really happy to see me but at least I wasn't thrown over the desk and arrested. Would it be any different now? I hoped that he wouldn't react in a negative way, taking out his weapon and threatening to fill me with more holes than I could count. I can count high, yeah. But nobody can count when their dead. And I don't think I was ready for that. So, how would I go in there and explain myself? The thought was still pushing its way to the front of my mind. How could I tell him about everything that had happened. Would I have to do some sort of charades kind of thing and spell it out to him through actions? Interpretive dance?

But I was rushed. When he said that I could come in, I pushed open to door and stepped inside, before even coming up with a plan. Shit. What now? What do you do now? This is awkward. You're just staring at him Lane. What the fuck are you doing? I continuously asked myself. I was too. I was just standing still in one spot, looking over at the man that had previously been my partner. And now he was the head honcho of District Four. And what was I? Just a 'criminal' from six who could no longer speak. I was about to kill somebody the other day. You know, I keep saying the blood lust is stronger but I haven't been able to bring myself to doing it. I can't even imagine letting that side of me go. Who would I be without it? A washed up Peacekeeper? A wannabe criminal? What benefit would I be to Stained Transactions. It worried me. All of it.

I made my way up to his desk carefully, trying to pick out the best way to explain my situation without actually speaking. Not like I had a choice. I could only act or write. But instead, I opened my mouth, showing the cut off stub and hoping he understood it all. Sitting down in the chair on the other side of his death, I sighed. That's all I could really do. Sigh and groan. Using my throat and expelling air was all I could do. What had I become? What as happening to me? I couldn't understand any of it. And I couldn't even come up with some witty and sarcastic remark about being here. Well, I could come up with it but writing it down just wasn't the same. I wasn't the same. And it was all because I decided to take this path in life. What have I done? And am I really becoming soft?

I slowly reach out my hand over the desk, going to shake Cassius's. I doubt he'd take it. To him, I was just another person breaking the law. I had to break the law to get here. But part of me wanted out of that. And it scared me to be able to admit that. It scared me to know that cutting off my tongue was all it took to realize that I was only going to end my life if I continued with all of this. And if Cassius was the only one I could talk to right now, maybe it was best to tell him everything. Maybe it was for the best if I just stopped that life style. Or maybe I'd need a few pills and a drink to wash all these thoughts away. I couldn't tell. I just couldn't.

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Needless to say, the man that stepped through the door was not the one Cassius was expecting. The visitor's tanned skin and dark clothes contrasted greatly with the white walls surrounding him. Lane. Lane Ralyks. A man Clayburn thought he'd never see again.

The old friend stood awkwardly in front of the door, silent. Cassius couldn't find his voice either, instead he chose to watch as Lane walked forward to his desk. Without any introduction, Lane opened his mouth, reveling what kept the usually talkative man from speaking. Avoxed. Pressing his lips tightly together, Cassius still remained mute as his old friend sat down in the lone chair across the desk.

Lane extended his hand over the desk, probably for the Peacekeeper to shake it. Cassius was all to shocked at the situation to consider such a simple action.

"What happened to you," there was genuine concern in Clayburn's voice, who wouldn't be depressed over their oldest friends having their tongue cut out?

Ack, short post DDx

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[bg=28190c][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,522,true] L A N E x F O X x R A L Y K S

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Despite all the things the two of us had been through, I still had complete respect for the man who sat at the other end of the desk before me. He had been a best friend, a brother figure, a partner and a confident. And then he became somebody who was my enemy, even if that wasn't how things should have turned out. We should've been partners in law enforcement for our lives, being able to tell our children of the years and years that we spent together. Maybe they'd continue that sort of thing on and become partners in their area of expertise as well. Ralyks and Clayburn could be friends for generations and generations to come, had I not snapped on that one fateful day that seemed to change my life so drastically.

But I don't want to get into any sappy shit. Yeah, I missed being on the same team as the guy and I respected him and the authority he had but I wasn't in love with him or anything. No, I didn't have time for loving. I was too busy living life as best as I could despite the obvious disadvantage I had now, sans tongue. I didn't need somebody who waited for me at home and hoped that I wouldn't get hurt during the day or that I'd come home in a good mood. I didn't need somebody who cared about how I was. I just needed somebody to watch my back when I needed them too. That was what Cassius was to me. Or, Officer Clayburn, I guess. He was above me now. Even if I didn't respect it in previous years, I would respect it now. Even though I was often times the one who might have chased, now, I was ready to obey the rules.

Because really, I had no other possible life to life. I had lost the lusting for blood and murder and violence and crime. I had lost that desire and the fire that burns deep in my chest to encourage me to kill more and more. No, it was all gone and all that was left was an empty body that wished he had done things differently all this time. Did I wish that though? Or was I just confused because of the many feelings that I felt, the many thoughts that I was thinking or the actions I was prepared to make? I doubt that I'd be regretting every single fucking decision I made if I didn't feel like all my life had been a complete and total waste. I wouldn't be wishing I hadn't fucked up my life so early if I wasn't ready to make a change and strive to be something different or somebody who was better.

And really, all I could answer with was a shrug. Because it was obvious what had happened. My past caught up with me. I got punished for all the things I did in my life, for all the shit that I caused and all the torture I had done. Was he really unable to understand that I fucked up and I had received my payment? It was pretty easy to figure that out when you knew all of my past and all of the things that I had done. I reached out for a pen, grabbing on to a blank piece of paper. My writing has always been messy but hopefully it would be clean enough for Cassius to read. The pen danced along the page as I wrote out what I would normally say with my mouth, holding out with the sarcastic joke because obviously my voice wouldn't portray how I was feeling. It was different, but I had to get used to it whether I liked it or not.

"I fucked up man. And now I'm done. Done with it all."

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All the Peacekeeper could do was sit quietly, staring at one of the oldest friends he had ever had. Cassius hadn't seen Lane in years and now the reunion was anything but joyful. They couldn't even communicate properly. Cassius had always known that Lane was a loose cannon- but the real question was how did he get caught? It just didn't seem like Lane.

Cassius had pretty much forgotten his question of how this happened when Lane finally responded with a shrug. Looking at Lane's face, there was so much etched into that face- so many stories and plans. Lane reached across the desk and picked up a piece of paper and a pen. Looking else where until Lane was finally finished with his note, it took everything Cassius had to read it. Maybe he was afraid of what it might say- but that doesn't really make a lot of sense, does it? Cassius Clayburn isn't afraid of anything, not the law- nothing. Yet, taking the tiny slip of paper in his hand felt like taking the weight of the world. Taking a breath, Cassius looked down at what seemed so intimidating.

"I fucked up man. And now I'm done. Done with it all."

There were a lot of things that had happened in Lane's life, and even more that Cassius didn't know about, that could have built up on each other to force such a a man to write that note. Carefully, Cassius placed the paper back on the desk. The pure white walls of his office felt like they were closing in on him- as if the Capitol was watching him in this instant.

"Just tell me what you want me to do and it's already done," his voice was low and his eyes locked with Lane's. It felt all too serious in the room and Clayburn couldn't help himself from tacking on an ending. "I am a Peacekeeper after all, we're here to help."

A small automatic grin flashed as Cassius pushed the paper over to Lane for him to write on. Truthfully, Cassius was prepared for anything Lane might ask for- well maybe almost anything.

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Stop this train, I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in

In truth, I didn't know what I wanted. Not even close. Usually, in the past, when I knew what I wanted I'd go get it. I'd force somebody to give it to me. I wasn't the kind of person who sat around and waited for what he wanted to come to him. I wouldn't sit and hope that everything fell into place the way I wanted it to. No. That wasn't a good thing to do. If there was a bag of money sitting in front of you, would you wait for it to hop in your direction? No, you wouldn't. Money can't hop. Nor can bags. So, your shit out of luck if you want to wait around until it comes. You need to reach out and grab it. But what if you don't know what you're reaching for? If everything is clouded and foggy and you're just reaching out for something in hopes of feeling something.

That's always been my problem. Feeling. I don't like it. But I've needed it. Feeling something for somebody or for life is needed in order to live a good life. I felt something for Bear. I did. He was the only one who really looked past what I did for a living and looked directly into my personality. He was my friend because he actually got to know me. I thought so at least. I didn't know about the things that were bottled up inside both of us. The things that made me leave District Six and leave him forever. The things that brought me here into the office of the man who was both my worst enemy and greatest friend. In truth, I always wanted to come back to see him. I always wanted to sit in this office again and look him straight in the face like I used to when I was a Peacekeeper.

I missed those days. There. I said it. The days where I was top dog and was respected because I tried to help. Not because I'd kill whoever didn't respect me like I'd do now. Like I used to do before my tongue was cut out. I don't know why. It was a part of me that was so important. It seemed like they cut my personality out with it. The strongest muscle in my body was gone and so was what made me who I am. My words were gone. My urge to kill was gone. I didn't have the blood lust that had controlled me before. The blood lust that had defined who I was as a person was gone and left only an empty body. An empty body who was looking for a purpose and couldn't find it. Because when I reached out in front of me to grab my bag of money, it wasn't there.

My bag of money was still unknown to me. What did I want to do with the rest of my life? Did I want to wander around in hopes of feeling the rage I used to have? Did I want to just give up and die by finding a tree and hanging myself there? A large tree and a belt was all I really needed. After tying it tightly, I would just slip my neck through and then suffocate myself until I was no longer a part of this world. That could work. But was that what I wanted? Did I want to leave this life I had made for myself? I could say without a doubt that I didn't want to die. Not yet. But did I want to live? That was different. I may not want to end up buried under the ground in a casket, surrounded by maybe one or two people who were attending my funeral. However, was it worth it to be standing on two feet with my heart beating?

And that's when my bag of money was in my grasp. Suicide wasn't it. No, I couldn't do that. In the end, I'd give up. But there was something that I wanted. Something that would help me find who I truly was after all the horrible things I've done were taken away. There was one thing in life that I missed and one thing in life I regret. Normally, I'd regret nothing. I would do something and then I would accept that it was done and just move on with life. But now, as I find myself sitting in the room that came up so much in my memories, I regretted something. Regretting that moment that decided my future many years ago. The moment that had happened in the lobby of this very building. I knew what I wanted. And so, I reached out and grabbed it.

Sliding the paper closer towards me and taking the pencil, I began to jot down the words, making sure each letter could be read by Cassius. My friend. My old partner. And my saviour. I wouldn't ever tell him that he was the person who helped me. I couldn't really tell him anything. But he was that person. Hopefully. If he was able to help me with all of this. Once I finished the message, I put the pen down carefully and slid the paper towards him. This was me reaching out for my bag of money. Or the equivalent of it. I was reaching out for what I wanted. I wasn't going to sit around and wait until I died from boredom or died of old age. I wasn't going to sit around and be nobody for the rest of my life after being somebody for most of it. And so, maybe the message on the paper would help with that. Maybe I'd be what I was again.

"I want back in. I want to get rid of my past. I want to be a Peacekeeper again."

[sbeeg]

Cassius was prepared for anything that Lane might ask for- except for what his friend actually wanted. The Peacekeeper's mind was filled with escape routes and fake IDs that he used to be so familiar with. Lane and him would go on such adventures until they went their separate ways and that is what Clayburn thought this was: just a quick crossing of paths headed for two different destinations.

Lane's hand moved much slower this time and Cassius' eyes watched it as it moved the pen across the paper. Being a law enforcer, Cassius was an observer. He examined Lane's face and the expression told him that whatever was going to be on that slip of paper was going to be a lot more complicated than a fake ID. Cassius shifted in his chair, he couldn't do all that much for Lane right now. The Capitol was starting to look into his activity at the Detention Center and his routines at night- and Lane wouldn't help things.

Trying to appear calm and warm to an old friend, Cassius pulled the paper over to his side of the desk once Lane was done.

"I want back in. I want to get rid of my past. I want to be a Peacekeeper again."

Swallowing, Cassius read the words over and over trying to fully understand their meaning. Lane wanted...

The good days- they could come back. The past could also be the present again. It'd be just like the old days. Cassius was thrilled at the prospect, but on the other hand- what made Lane's rebellious spirit break so much that he wanted a normal life again? Looking up at one of his oldest friends and challenging opponents, Cassius saw the answer in the grooves in his face and the awkward way he held his now empty mouth.

"Welcome to the force, Officer Ralyks," Cassius said, standing from his chair and keeping himself from lunging over the desk and gripping Lane into a hug. Lane Ralyks a Peacekeeper once more- what a refreshing thought.

What a good idea.

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Stop this train, I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in

Could I ever get back to how I was before all of this? Maybe. There wasn't anything stopping me. Sure, it would be different to wake up in the morning and to change into the usual uniform. Holstering my weapon as I leave the building and preparing for the day. It was an amazing concept. To be the old Lane Ralyks. The one who wasn't batshit crazy. I liked that idea. But really, it was up to Cassius. He was in charge of the Peacekeepers in District Four. He was in charge of my fate at this point. I had enough on my record that I could have been busted and sent to prison if he wanted to do that. Or he could wipe my record clean and give me exactly what I wanted. Exactly what I needed really. A second chance. That's all I ever needed to start new.

Maybe losing my tongue was what opened my eyes. I was truly hurting myself by being a criminal. I was only leading myself to my eventual death by doing the things I did. And the only thing that would keep me from reaching my final destination was to drop that life and to rebuild what I originally had. That could be done by Cassius. If he wanted to extend his hand for me to take. If he wanted to extend this opportunity for me. Nothing says he had to. He didn't have to do anything really. He could just say that I had to leave, whether it would be willingly or not. To be completely honest, that's what I was expecting. I was expecting to suddenly feel the cold metal of handcuffs as he arrested me for all the things he had on file. That's what I was expecting. One hundred percent.

And that's why I've always loved Cassius like a brother. Because he does the complete opposite of what you think he'd do. When the words leave his mouth, they seem foreign at first. Like I'm not supposed to hear them. Like they're illegal or taboo. The words shouldn't belong together any more. They belonged together a while ago, back when my mind wasn't absolutely fucked. But here they were. The words were back together and they made me feel new. Like everything I had done in my life didn't matter any more. I was Officer Lane Ralyks. Not Lane Ralyks the notorious criminal who killed those who didn't expect or deserve it. Nope, that wasn't me and that wouldn't be me. Now, I was an officer, fighting the people who I originally worked for or those who worked for me.

Alongside Cassius too, perhaps? Really, that would be the best case scenario. To relive the times of the past that made us such good friends in the first place would do great for our relationship and for my transformation. Even though I was already losing the need to kill or the hunger for human meat, it would be tempting. But with Cassius, my friend, beside me, maybe it would be possible. I got to my feet and went to shake his hand. But that wasn't enough. Now that being on opposite ends of the law was out of the way, there was nothing that kept me from making my way around the desk and pulling him into a brotherly hug. One that was long overdue. Even if he didn't want it, I still grasped him happily, remembering all the old times. All the times where we were the best of friends, the greatest partners and practically siblings.

I just wish I had asked sooner. It would have saved me a lot of pain and I wouldn't regret as much. For now, I was happy with the way my life was going. I nodded my head and grinned, keeping my teeth pressed together so I wouldn't show off the stump of what used to be my tongue. I was Officer Ralyks. It was my job to keep people from doing illegal things and to make sure that the laws of the Capitol were obeyed. Yeah, they were my enemies for the longest time. But humans truly open up when they're at their lowest. I'd know from my years and years of being a criminal. And when I was at my lowest, all I wanted to do was be where I am now. An officer of the law. A Peacekeeper. It had a ring to it. A ring that I never wanted to go away. I looked right into Cassius's eyes and hoped that I wouldn't need to write what I was trying to say down. "Thanks."

[sbeeg]

The Peacekeeper could see how much the man in front of him had changed. His shoulders hunched over more, and his jaw was more tense as if he was afraid his mouth would fall open and reveal all his shame to the world. Underneath the little outer details laid a full change of heart that Cassius didn't know was possible. When Lane stood from his chair and ran around the desk, Cassius could hardly contain his emotion. Pulled into an embrace, the peacekeepers' arms automatically went into place around his friend like they used to. How long had it been since Cassius had hugged Lane? Felt like forever.

Taking a moment to breath and get all his feelings in order, Cassius and Lane parted. The look he gave Cassius was something that did not commonly occupy Lane's face. Thanks? Yes. Thanks. It had to be.

Slapping Lane's arm, Cassius gave him a smile- he couldn't help it. The grin just jumped up there. However, in his mind much weightier thoughts were brewing. How would Cassius convince the force to re-accept a criminal? Would they even take an avox? Cassius wouldn't be able to bear it if they refused Lane- who knows what his friend may do. Placing a hand on Lane's shoulder, Cassius looked into his eyes, sincere but worried.

"I will do everything in my power," Cassius felt a shiver run up his spine by what those words could mean. What was Cassius willing to do? What heights would he climb to for his friend? Would he go that far?

"Anything."

[∂αмєη]

Stop this train, I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in

Anything. That words means so much. Obviously. I mean, the word anything means anything. Which is a lot. It makes sense in my mind either way. To be promised anything was probably the biggest thing that's ever been done for me. Considering I've never really helped the world except for killing another criminal every once in a while, I didn't expect to be offered anything. It was a big enough leap for Cassius to give his approval of getting back on the force, let alone to promise that he could do anything in his power and that he would do anything in his power for me. That would be romantic if it was like that between us. But it wasn't. So it was just a great thing to say. It was what a best friend would say. It was what a brother would say.

It was what a partner would say. I wanted it to be like that again. Those were the greatest times. But there would be complications, surely. First of all, the fact that last time I was in this building as an officer, I spread more carnage than a man should be capable of spreading in one visit. That just sounds like trouble. But then point two comes in. The reason why I won't be killing people again is because of my tongue, which presents another problem. Avoxes have always been slaves. I've been alive for many years and Avoxes have always been slaves or servants or lying under the ground. But here's one who's stepping up and hoping to stop the people that he previously worked with. I was trying to push my way in when I only deserved to be a slave. I mean, that's what Avoxes are for. Their punishment is to be under somebody else's control.

Maybe that could be a way for me to start though? As a volunteering sort of thing? My mind went through the options I may have. But there weren't really any options. There wasn't anything I could do. It was all up to Cassius. They may want to arrest me. The rest of the Peacekeepers weren't a lifetime friend of mine. They were people who spent their careers trying to stop me. I was starting to fear that everything I hoped for couldn't happen. Like I'd be screwed. Alone. Just wandering around the world. I'd probably kill myself eventually. Especially if I had nothing in life to look forward to. I have no where to go and nothing to do with the life I've been given. No more blood lust, no more chance at living a good life. Just wandering around looking for a purpose in life.

This was my purpose. I'm sure it is. Really, that's all I could do now. I was committing myself too much. I had already changed my thought process to suit how a Peacekeeper should think. I was already ready to do this. But I had no control. I had no way of deciding what would happen to me. But I could trust Cassius. With my life. I could trust him with more than that. I cleared my throat, something I could still do, and moved away from Cassius. We were friends but standing right beside each other, that close, is pushing it. It would be awkward after a while. I nodded at him and then tilted my head slightly towards the door. Whatever needed to be done, I'd be ready to do it. Everything in the world came down to this for me. I took a few steps in the direction of the door to the lobby, ready to try my best to convince anybody that I could do it.

Well, maybe convince wasn't the best word to use. Show.

[sbeeg]

Lane took a step back from Cassius and nodded his head towards the door. Alright. Here it comes- the hard part. Yes, it is easy to tell someone that you're going to "try your best" and all that stuff but when it comes to actually doing it- that's a different story.

"Right," Cassius said, his lip twitchy in an impulsive smile to keep the doubts hidden. Slipping between Lane and his desk, and moving to exit the office. Cassius was tempted to turn around and make up an excuse but he knew that even though Cassius Clayburn isn't the best of people, he couldn't screw over his friend like that. With his hand on the cold metal of the doorknob, Cassius didn't want to turn it. He wanted to stay within the safety of the clean white walls of his officer where no one could peek in and tell him "No."

But life isn't like that. Eventually you have to leave the safe room and go out and do something risky. You can't live perfectly balanced for very long- you have to tip every now and then or else it isn't worth being there.

"Here we go," he said more to himself than to Lane because it was Cassius who needed the pep talkjust to open a door.

[∂αмєη]

Stop this train, I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in

The sun is spreading its warmth across all of District Nine. I mean, I would be taking off my shirt if it wasn't kind of a bad statement to walk in to your job interview half naked. Unless I was applying to be a stripper or something, it was probably better to keep the fabric on. The large building stood before me, possibly my new home for the rest of my life. It was a tough decision that I had to make, deciding whether I wanted to risk my life by taking this career path. I could have done something much easier and safer. Like, a scientist. Sure, I would be around violent chemicals all day and if I accidently mixed the wrong ones, I'd end up being nothing but bones once the acid started to eat away at my skin. Okay, maybe that's not the greatest example but at least I wasn't against a criminal.

That's right. A Peacekeeper. I don't know why it interested me. I just felt like I was supposed to do it. Like it was my purpose in life to be the guy who stops those who try and ruin our lives. I felt as if I needed a gun at my belt, not to be all cool and stuff but to protect those around me. Well, protect the nice ones at least. The others could die. I was young, I wanted to be cool. What else was I going to do? I sure as hell didn't want to be a scientist. They were all stuck up and only about ten percent of them had been laid. I was ready to be an officer of the law, no matter what. There was just one thing that was standing in my way though. It wasn't a big thing. Kind of small, really. I just needed to pass the interview that the head Peacekeeper of District Nine was going to do and hope that they see potential I may possess.

But did I really have potential? I was young, healthy, great at running and I could hold my own in a pretty intense fight. So fuck yeah, I had potential. Fuck yeah, I'd be a good officer. Fuck yeah, they better accept me. Well, nothing said they had to. But it would be nice if they did. And I'd be pretty pissed if they didn't accept me. I'd probably go find a nice chair and strong rope and hang myself high up in a tree. That's morbid, huh? Well, sorry, my bad. I don't mean to offend anybody. I just don't have any idea what else I could do. I didn't want to do anything else in life. Just a Peacekeeper. An officer. And so, I took one step through electronic doors, ready to begin the life that I wanted to live. Little did I know, it wouldn't last. Eventually, I'd see the halls again, after seeing them every day for years and years. But I'd paint it red the next time I made a life decision.

Yes, we should go. My hand wraps around the knob of the door, the cold feeling of the metal comforting against my clammy palms. Turning it and pushing the door open, I allow Cassius to go first. The cool air from outside is flowing through the doors that I had stepped through millions of times. They move open as an officer comes in. He looks towards Cassius and I, giving a nod, which is surely out of respect for the Head Peacekeeper. If anybody could help me, it was Cassius. That's why I was glad I had a friend like him. He was everything you needed in a friend really. He'd help you when you needed it and he would keep you entertained when you decided you wanted to kill every single person in his department all because you cracked one day. And when you wanted to follow a different path and hopefully rebuild your life, he'd be there.

He has been here for me all along. My parents couldn't be. They were buried beneath the earth because I decided I wanted to kill them or something. I can't remember what my motivation was but it was obviously because I was fucking insane. There's no excuse for it. Something went wrong in my mind and I couldn't fix it. It took me getting my tongue cut out to realize that I was an idiot. That I was bat shit insane and completely fucked in the head. I'm glad I lost my tongue so I could realize I was only going to kill myself, but I also missed the muscle in my mouth. The lack of speech that I now have is definitely depressing. Like, imagine having no voice. You know when you get sick and your throat hurts so much that you can't speak, only letting out raspy moans? Imagine that 24/7 for years and years.

That's the life I was living from now on. But maybe I could live a better life with it. Maybe now, I could do good instead of doing bad. Even though breaking the law was fun and I had become so accustomed to eating humans, I was actually kind of glad that I made the decision to change all of this. Once, a long while ago, I decided to join the force. Then, I decided I wanted to kill and kill and kill until I had to pay for the things I had done. And now, I was ready to repeat it all again. Well, not the killing part. I was done with that. Done with it all. I had seen this lobby colored red once before. They probably used a shit load of bleach to change it back. I wasn't going to do that again. No way. No how. That was just fucked up. I was fucked up. Now, I was fixed. All because of Cassius.

A smile was plastered on my face. Like, plastered. I couldn't get it off no matter what. You'd be like me too if you just got offered your dream job. And obviously, I took it. With a smile, I shook the head Peacekeeper's hand. I didn't know it then but that was the last time I'd shake his hand. Ever. He died four days later from some disease that wasn't very researched. It'd be sent to District Two unless they were too fucking stupid to figure it out. A report filled with test results and shit like that would be read over and they'd try and put some name on it. But they wouldn't succeed. It was fucked up. I went to his funeral. And it was sad. Really sad. But that meant the position was open. Open for any of us. I would deny it either way, especially right now. And on that day, Cassius was sent to the Capitol and I was left alone in District Nine. But it wouldn't last. We both ended up in District Four together. And we'd be friends for a long while.

Thank god we stayed friends. I wouldn't have been able to handle not being friends with him. He was just such a great guy. And he was like a brother. My eyes followed him as we entered the lobby and prepared to speak with the people who would allow me to be an officer here. I cleared my throat, obviously for no reason, and patted Cassius on the back. Thanks pal.

[sbeeg]

This wasn't the first time Cassius had faced a door leading to recruiting. What felt like decades ago on that warm day- Lane had been with him then. It only made sense he'd be with Lane this time.

Cassius Clayburn could hear his own pulse in his ears. His hands were sweating and even though his body was nervous, his mind was at ease. There was no possible way they could reject him and Lane. They were perfect specimens. Model citizens, healthy, young and ready to learn all they could from the best teachers in the Capitol. Still, it only made sense to be nervous. The recruiter might be dumber than Cassius gave him credit for.

They didn't get to be interviewed at the same time so Cassius was forced to wait uncomfortably in the hallway before it was his turn. At passing Lane going into the room, his old friend beamed a smile at him and Cassius shot one back. Good. The official isn't completely mindless. As Cassius' interview had gone on he noted everything about the recruiter. The way his eyes didn't quite meet yours, his bad habit of smiling after every sentence and the way he scratched down notes after every answer Cassius had given him. It was unsettling. It made Cassius trip on his words. It was the reason he walked out with a fake smile.

The plain white face of the door was so much like the one back then. Bland and a bit dirty around the doorknob where people had open and closed it all these years. The lobby surrounding it was different- even the wall it was in was some how foreign. A sudden noise shook Cassius from his thoughts and Lane's hand on his back brought him back to reality.
"Wait here a second," Cassius said calmly to Lane before stepping into the office.

It wasn't very difficult. Nothing is when you're the head Peacekeeper of such an important district. He merely mentioned to the recruiter that a former officer was about to walk in and that he should conduct an interview on him. The small man didn't seem too suspicious or bothered by the sudden request.

"Alright Lane. It's all up to you now," Clayburn said, stepping back into the lobby, holding to the door open for Lane.

"To the task force!" Cassius said, raising another shot up for Lane to clink his own glass against. They had been drinking rather heavily and making toasts for the past hour at Lane's apartment. After throwing back the spirits- and maybe a few more quick shots- Clayburn decided it was time to take leave. Congratulating his friend once again, Clayburn stumbled down the stairs and out onto the street. Sagging against the outer wall of the building, Cassius tried to wrap his intoxicated mind around what he had done today. It was a lie. A huge lie- and a stupid one too. When Lane had asked him how the interview had gone Cassius had said wonderfully: that they were both trainees now. A half lie, seeing as one of them was a trainee now.

How could that stupid man reject him? "Maybe in the future- we'll give you a call," the man had said. Cassius was the perfect clay for molding a Peacekeeper. Angry, the young man had stumbled about the District until he had reached the shady side where rush hour had just started. Maybe he belonged here instead of in the nice clean, white Peacekeeper building. Maybe he should march along the streets occupied by desperate women and homeless vagrants. The drunk, inconsolable man had knocked into a larger figure's shoulder. Muttering an apology, Cassius started forward on his aimless path again but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.
"You lookin' to buy?" the gruff voice had said. Being a younger man, Cassius had spun around and was caught by the small crystals in his the dealer's hand. Some were white, some blue and some were colored red. "Best stuff around- but careful, they're strong."
With spirits blurry his judgement, Cassius had demanded as much he could pay for- which was enough for his mission.

The Peacekeeper building's windows were still illuminated and when Cassius entered the receptionist wasn't at their post. Taking the stairs, Cassius reached the seventh floor. It happened so fast- a counter with coffee for the workers, a slip of the hand and before he knew it the rejected Peacekeeper was walking towards the door with a cup of hot coffee with a little extra in it. The door- it was white, bland and dirty around the doorknob from people closing and opening it for so long without a fresh coat of paint. A sharp knock against the door and he was permitted entrance.

The man had been as idiotic as Cassius had first thought. That's why he was standing there, waiting for Lane to come out with a new title, staring at the familiar door. His crisp white uniform perfectly tailored- not a thread out of place. The Head Peacekeeper of District Four- a model citizen protecting the people of Panem at whatever the cost.

I'm so sorry for taking forever, I haven't been on in forever. I hope this post makes some sense, it has been awhile.

[∂αмєη]

[905D2C] [E65C00] [A89070]

Before stepping into the room, I took a deep breath. This was it. The one chance I had to turn my life around was in this room and if everything went well, I'd be a new person. Right? There was no twist or some catch to it. So, I slipped in and closed the door behind me, not wanting to leave Cassius just yet. I turned towards the man, holding back the laugh that desperately wanted to come out. He was a frail man, appearing quite small in his seat, with round glasses that seemed much to big for his face. His nose hung down like a bird's, even larger than Cassius' had ever been, and his lips curled up into a sly smile. His chin, although slightly large, was tucked back against his neck in an awkward way, giving him a very humorous look overall.

He held a cup have coffee with shaking hands as he peered under his glasses at some papers. His lips moved ever so slightly as he muttered under his breath, his dark chocolate eyes flicking from the left to the right as he read down the page. Slowly, I tap my fist against the door to get his attention but still, he did not look away from the paper. I tried to clear my throat as I used to, but only a choking sound came out due to the lack of a tongue. For fuck sakes. Taking a slow step towards him, I tried to wave my arms around to get his attention. Still, nothing about him moved, apart from his quivering hand, thin lips and the flicker of his eyes. Taking another step towards him, I lean down to try and get his eyes to meet with mine. "Mr. Ralyks, is it?" His voice was high pitched and barely coming out in anything but a croak.

I nodded and took the seat he pointed to, trying my best to make any noise so he knew I wasn't stupid or something. "So, Mr. Ralyks. You received a high recommendation. Obviously, since it was coming for the head honcho." He seemed to stutter a few times on the word recommendation, but I nodded instead of laughing. He began to explain how much work it would take for him to get me back on the force and wondered whether or not it was really worth it. "And then there's your record, Mr. Ralyks. We could probably fill a whole cabinet with papers detailing each crime you have ever committed. A supersized cabinet, Mr. Ralyks." Another nod from me told him to continue on.

"But, Clayburn believes in you. And if he believes in you, I'd be stupid to not give you a chance." He took a pen and began to scratch a signature on a piece of paper before pushing it out of the way and continuing on another. "You have three months, Ralyks. Three months to prove to me that you deserve more." I swallowed quietly, watching as his pen danced across the paper. What did he mean I have three months? Was I not a Peacekeeper yet? I moved my hand forward in order to get his attention to ask. "You will be given as many perks as I can give you but for now, you will remain under the wing of Cassius. In order to get you back to how you were, you need to live through the job again." So I was a Peacekeeper. I was going to be working for Cassius and he'd be my boss for the time being. Wasn't that what I had always wanted anyways? To be back with my good friend.

He reached under his desk and slowly pulled a box up. Placing it on the table gently, he moved it forward. "You will do everything he says, Ralyks. If you succeed with that, we would be happy to reassign you." I watched as he moved another paper to the side. Then he slowly got out of his desk and picked up the papers, wobbling over to a cabinet to store them. He opened it up and tossed them in, struggling to catch his breath once they were out of his hands. He looked back at me and pointed to the box. "The Capitol doesn't give second chances very often. We know all about you, Lane Ralyks. As I said, we have files filled with your information. But we'll give you one chance. Don't mess it up." I nodded and stood up, offering my hand for him to shake.

And then I was heading out the door, box in hand. I smiled at Cassius before continuing on, heading in the direction of the bathroom without stopping. Once in, I opened the box, pulling out the white uniform and slowly slipping in to it. I gently patted the spot where my name tag would go once I was a full fledged Peacekeeper once again. And then I heard the clink of metal as I reached in again, one of my rings rubbing slightly against the object inside. I pulled it out and sighed, looking at the weapon with mixed feelings inside. How many times had I killed with this? How many times had I done bad things? Now, it would be used for good. Slipping the belt around my waste and ensuring the gun was secure in the holster, I looked in the mirror once again. I was a Peacekeeper. I would be if I could keep my shit together. And so, I stepped back out of the bathroom and into the lobby once again.

As a new man. As a new person. As Officer Lane Fox Ralyks.