Long & Short Shadows [Kiah]

[cass]

Dekka Karold Lilac Thorn

You bleed just to know your alive
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[/size]

If my mind can ever grasp
what my heart already knows
I might not spend my evenings
in the company of ghosts
playing out the might-have-beens
cruel what-ifs and such
unspoken things we meant to say
and each neglected touch

Dekka felt the hand wrap around her shoulder and with that touch all hope left her. That was it. She had been caught. Now she was going to get dragged away, tortured and punished. Her heart skipped a beat and she felt cold all over, fear made her react as she lashed out at the person. Dekka spun around ridding herself of the hand, her arm extends out hitting the person who she now realises was a man; a peacekeeper. She winces at the contact she makes with his side; it wasn’t from pain, but from the fear of what she was doing. It wasn’t right and now if she got caught it would all be worse.

~~~~

Dekka walks alone.

[/color]


It wasn’t night and yet the sky was dark. Heavy black clouds galloped across the sky. It was a rolling mass that carried the threat of rain. Dekka hated rain, anxiously her steps hurried until she was almost running; she tugged her jacket around her tighter stopping the chilled air from biting her exposed skin. Her feet pounded hard on the ground as her pace sped up. She needed to get to the orchid before it was too late. The bag that was slung on her shoulder swung wildly with the motion of her arms.


The gate rose from the ground ahead of her, she was nearly there. She could grab the fruit and leave. No one would know... she hoped. Her anxiety grew as she realized the gate was closed, locked for the day. As she neared she felt a slight wobble move into her otherwise smooth run. The gate reared in front of her tall and intimidating, it scared her to think what would happen to her if they found her. Pain. It scared Dekka she feared it above all else, pain it killed her, but it helped... Dekka she couldn’t live without it.

Pain helped her focus it helped her to stop... the depression. Yet she hated it she feared it, she felt so much terror in herself every time she brought that knife down against her wrist... and still she loved it, she felt strength flood her as she realized she controlled her body, she decided what happened it felt so wonderfully pleasant. It pained Dekka to watch the ruby red liquid flow from her body, the cutting helped her focus on what was real and what was not. No onw helped her to overcome her depression, she had no family... she did, but what are sisters going to do? And what do you do when your parents are dead? What is the point of living when you have no one or nothing to live for?

Relief floods Dekka as she realizes that the gate was slightly open. Her thin body easily slides through the small gape, she continues to run. Quickly she runs to the first tree she sees, the long flowing leaves were covered with ripe elegant fruit, it looked amazing. Greedily she grabs the fruit snagging it from the branches and plunging them into her bag, she does this till the bag is full. Weighed down with the fruit she moves back towards the gate, she felt confident at her triumph she hadn’t been caught...yet. The clouds had finally let loose their massive loads, emptying themselves on poor Dekka.

What do you say, when people keep asking you 'what is wrong?' when nothing is right?

How would you tell someone their parents are dead? murdered by the hunger and starvation that took so many lives, and your life was so close to following. What if that news was the end? What if it was that last straw, that final push that knocked you over the edge, Pushing you from caring, tearing you from the ones you love and the few others you cared for?

"She's dead Sydney, mum is dead and so is dad. I have no one any more, no one. And you think it is alright to come in here and tell me what to do with my life. You know nothing about me, you haven't talked to since they died." Dekka stood panting, tears stained her flushed cheeks. It was about a month after her parents death, but a few days before the depression started to hit her really badly. Dekka stood in the kitchen, she was a broken girl and Sydney had pushed her too far. "No matter how much you ignore me it isn't going to change, what do you blame me for what happened?" Her sister shakes her head tears glistening in her eyes."There dead..." Dekka was shaking, the words sounded weak, she needed to keep telling herself they were.

Dekka just didn't want to believe it.[/i][/color]

Dekka shook her head sending flecks of water everywhere, the sky was slowly, but surley clearing. She felt the warm glow of the sun on her soaking back, it was a pleasent feeling and prehaps one of the only moments in her life when she could feel normal. But as always that touch, feeling or slight momentis always destoryed as the real world sets in around her. Again Dekka finds herself standing in the orchid, bag full of fruit, stolen fruit. She had to leave.


Dekka felt the hand wrap around her shoulder and with that touch all hope left her...[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/justify][/size]

[kiah]

There's a stranger in my bed,
There's a pounding in my head
Glitter all over the room
Pink flamingos in the pool
I smell like a minibar
DJ's passed out in the yard
Barbie's on the barbeque
This a hickie or a bruise

[/color]

‘last Friday night....’ the sound swam around my lips reminding me of all the fun i had last night to awaken and find myself on a train heading for district eleven. What had I signed up for last night? The craziest thing is that I don’t remember a thing. But I must of signed up for something big, because not every day you wake up and find yourself being transported to another district when you lived in the capitol..

The capitol, I missed it already, the girls, the drinks, the comfy beds, the girls,. Did I mention the girls? The lights, the parties, everything about it. I close my eyes and all my memories of the capitol come back to me. It’s like I never left, like I’m still there, for all I know I still could be there and the train was all a dream, a nightmare yeah that’s right. That’s why I couldn’t remember any of the details. It was only a dream, a night mare. All just a dream..... a dream.. the thought comforted me so I kept repeating it to make sure that it was true. A dream..... all just a dream, a nightmare. That’s better. I can even smell the capitol now. The smell so clean and fresh, the smell of egg and bacon, the usual breakfast that I would awaken to. Mmmm yum..[/justify][/color]

Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I'm screwed
Oh well
It's a blacked out blur
But I'm pretty sure it ruled
Damn[/left

Finally I get the guts to open my eyes, the eyes that will determine if my life is worth living or not,(I might be over reacting but what life without drama right?).
Slowly, very slowly I open them, only to slits at first, but that was no good because I still couldn’t see anything. So I opened them more, my sight was a bit blurry and it is hard to make out all the details, so a little bit more. Then I freeze it was all alright I was at home, in my room, well it wasn’t my room per say but it as a room of the hotel I must of stayed in last night. I open my eyes fully, and rub them, try to clear them of the haze. But that was a mistake.

[/justify]

Last Friday night
Yeah, we danced on tabletops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot

[/i][/color]

My nightmare came crashing down around me. what had I done last night. Damn it why had I got so drunk. A headache pounded at my ears making it hard to concentrate. I was in no capitol hotel room! You know why? Because they don’t have bloody sun shield that block your view from outside and make you feel that you are there when you’re not!! Bloody sun shields! They made me believe that I was home they made me fell alive and lively! But it was all just a lie. Who would think of such a thing? To trick someone into believing they were at home.... calm down, dude. You did this to yourself. It was all your fault, you can’t go blame it on someone else, because you were the one who downed themselves with 3 bottles of vodka last night and who knows what!!. Yeah you can always trust the common sense side of your brain to cheer you up, huh?

[/color]

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a ménage à trois
Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop
Op-oh-oh

[/i][/color]

The train slowed down, my anger rose. Have a hangover and being angry wasn’t a good mix. It was like being on fire. You felt as though there was no way to stop the fire from licking painfully at your skin. Deep down I knew it was my fault the fact that I get drunk every other night didn’t change the fact that I had made the decision. In fact I should learn from this mistake, I should become a better person. Pftt, like to see that happen, this will only lead me to get drunk every wake hour. This was going to make me a living hell.

My life’s goal just went down the drain- wait a moment, I shouldn’t be complaining about the job yet! I don’t even know why I here! How long I’ll be here for? What is my purpose? For all I know I could be going home tomorrow and continue on with my normal life![/justify][/color]

This Friday night
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again

[/i][/color]

Surprisingly this brought a smile to my face; I always thought I looked more attractive smiling. Here we go! Slipping back into my old shoe that’s what I want to see! The smile only increased turning into a smirk, hey this actually could be fun. I always liked a change. What am I talking about the only change I liked was when I went from ugly duckling to sexy swan!

Gathering myself dignity, I pranced off the train, with my head held high and a very superior look at the citizens around me. there were girls, but none of them were as quite attractive as the ones at the capitol that I would reel in every night. Maybe this wasn’t going to be as fun as I thought..

* * * *


My job was quiet simple. To be the look out at the gates to the fruit garden thingy. It was going to be boring. And I was here for six months, as the last look had just passed away from an unknown cause. Yippy to me. The morning sky had just started to make an appearance in the sky. It was an odd sight for me. I never saw the sun rise in the Capitol, I was usually in bed, hangover. I never got the chance to appreciate it’s beauty. Wow I’ve only been out here two fays and I can fell a change coming along., Ahhh! What was happening to me?! I just wanted to go back home, back to where I belong, but that was going to happen soon. I sigh, one full of contempt and home sickness. Why was life so complicated?[/justify][/color]

Trying to connect the dots
Don't know what to tell my boss
Think the city towed my car
Chandeliers on the floor
Ripped my favorite party dress
Warrant's out for my arrest
Think I need a ginger ale
That was such an epic fail

[/i][/color]

I was just thinking about how much I wanted a drink, when a movement caught the corner of my eye. Huh? Some prey for me to hunt. Slowly I get out of my seat to look over to where the movement caught my eye. A girl was nervously walking out of the fruit garden thingy. A sack on her back. A sack that looked like it was filled with fruit. Fruit that wasn’t hers to take. I kicked into action. The walk was only a short one and an easy one this prey was the easiest so far, well it was the only one so far... but that’s not the point, I was going to stop the girl. It may be my warrant out of here. I reached out and grabbed her shoulder turning her so we were face to face.

Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop
Oh-whoa-oh
This Friday night
Do it all again

[/i][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/color]

[cass]

Dekka jerks her arm away and spins around hitting the guy in the chin. It was her reaction that she believes saved her life. She spins around again and heaves the bag onto her back before frantically running away. She runs down the quiet streets almost slipping on the numerous amounts of puddles that litter the floor. The air stung her throat with each breath, but she wasn’t going to look back. She didn’t want to see the guy, it wasn’t her fault, the man had surprised her doing something she shouldn’t have. White puffs floated from her mouth as she kept on running for her life.

[kiah]

I prepared to grab the girls wrist with a stronger grasp, but her wrist slipped away, finding a new place to make it’s hold, my nose. “ F***K!*Pain spread throughout my nose, causing me to lose any sort of control I had over this girl. He had just been hit by a girl! A girl for goodness sake. I was not going to back down that easy. no one got away with hitting a peacekeeper, hitting me! If only I had some boose, this wouldn’t have bothered me that much. But I was as sober as I can be and wanting someone to pay for this act.

But then the worst thought hit me. What if she had broken my nose! Then she really would pay! No one and I mean no one mucks around with my looks!

I powered after the girl, only moments later. She would really pay for what she has done, and it’s not going to be light!

[cass]

She just kept running, I wasn't going to stop. I take a sharp corner and my elbow collides with the stone wall. I cry in pain dropping the bag. SHIT I wasn't going to pick it up! I take one last regretful look before leaving the bag behind and running again. The running reminded of me when I blood, you feel your heart beat rise and fall in quick succession adn your pulse quicken as well as the blood races faster through your body. Maybe that was why Dekka was actually enjoying herself. She felt like she could just keep running forever. She didn't feel tired or out or breath, she felt awesome. She looks around herself as she enters the District square. Which way should she go?

[kiah]

I raced through the streets after the ratbag, girl. I was too scared to look into any of the windows I passed to, scarred to see what I would see. The deformed monster, I’ve tried to escape from my whole life? If that’s what I wake up to in the morning tomorrow…. And this girl hasn’t been dealt with… I’m not going to rest until this girl has payed for what she has done!

I felt the adrenaline run through my veins, giving me that needed encouragement that I needed. I rounded the corner, and my face found the ground. I felt fury work its way into my veins. I opened my eyes. I felt my heart turn cold. An apple. From the fruitery. That girl. She had done it again.

A new found anger raged through me. I got up and sped through the streets. There she was, at the district square. Ha she has hesitated. This was my chance. Who hesitated always comes last. He pushed on. This was her time to hurt!

[cass]

"Ahhhhhh, shit." The guy was closing in on Dekka, he looked angry, really angry. Dekka was slowing with panic, but she couldn't let this guy get her. Thinking fast she takes a sharp turn to the left down an ally that would cut back behind the guy, then from there she would be safe. She knew she would the guy looked as drunk as he did dumb. She runs silently down the ally and comes out fifthy meters behind the guy. She gives her finger do his back before sprinting down a sidewalk near her house and near her family.

[kiah]

The girl took one look at me and took off. I may not know these streets well but i wasn't dumb. She was going to pull a fake turn on me! So before I could think about my next move i was off running. She took a sharp turn. But i not dumb! I kept running. I was going to turn on the next turn and surprise everyone.

Running wasn't my thing when I was young, I could never stay on my feet. And today I found out running still wasn'ty thing... Could my day get any worse. I thought as yet againy nose made contact with the ground.

[cass]

Dekka laughs as she watchs the guy continue to run away from her. As she reaches her house she stops. She had time, she could go grab that fruit and he would never know. Quickly she back tracks being very careful adn looking around each corner for a madman with a broken nose. Anxiously she reaches down adn grabs her bag, she was worried he would pop out of nowhere, but she knew this place better then him, she would beat him. Plus she was faster then the man. Her eyes flicker around the empty streets as large rain drops begin the long decent to the Earth adn the place that she stood.

[kiah]

Darn he had let her get away because of his clumsy footing. I lifted his head up but stays where I lay. My nose was throbbing and the pain spread throughout my cheeks. I moved one of my shaky hands to tenderly touch my nose. Pain. That’s all I felt, and I knew who I was going to blame. That girl. That wretched best was going to die!

I got up from the paving a plan already in my head. Racing through the streets I made my way back to where I first had tripped over, the apple bag. I got there but it was missing. I cursed under my breathe, the anger now really about to boil over.

But a positive thought weaves its way through my mind. that means she’s come this way. The thought sent my gaze searching the area. Which way had she gone, and then I saw a little blood on the paving, she had gone this way. I licked my lips tasting revenge before sprinting after the girl.

[cass]

She ran like made with the bag slung over her shoulder it swayed inthe cool breeze that had sprung up eith the rain. She snuggled deeper into her jacket trying to keep the little warmth in her body, she was cold and wet and what was more a crazy Peacekeeper was chasine her. Puddles littered the ground and dekka jumped in fright as she swa her own reflection mistaking it for ger chasers. She heads back to her home where she will be warm in safe. Hidden from the man that was chasing her and free from her burden, with plenty of food to feed her family. Dekka smiled whichwas rare for her, she was happy for the first time in a long time her family would be full.