On & On we go (Severus)

[Kerrash]

Every occasion

know I'm ready for the funeral

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" I'm coming up only to hold you under
I'm coming up only to show you wrong
And to know you is hard; we wonder

Her life was passing slowly. The days were dragging on to what seemed like forever. Ashton felt that there was nothing to do to give her something to reach out to and enjoy. She would watch though. She always watched as everyone else seemed to have something wonderfully exciting going for her. She watched her siblings succeed at school. They were always the lucky ones. Fitting at ease into the social structure and easily making friends. Ashton could admit to herself that she was jealous, but who was she kidding. She knew that if she changed who she was and pretended to be like everyone else she'd make her way fine. Honestly, she'd rather go the Hunger Games than do that. She didn't want anyone to think of her as someone she wasn't. That's why she wasn't exactly wearing the cutest clothes, or the trendiest hair style. She liked her hair up, and she rarely wore anything but her twin brother's old beat up clothes. She liked to go home ready to work. The chores were more important to her than making friends. People always tended to hurt her anyway, so what was the point? She might as well continue working with the sheep because that was probably going to be her job when she grew up. She was lucky. She could be working in the fields all day like most of the other kids, but her family owned a sheep farm. So she had obviously lucked out.

She liked to walk to school. Followed by her two younger sisters. Autumn and Meri walked a good distance behind her, and frankly Ashton didn't even care anymore. She was used to being isolated by them and she understood why. If she was as concerned as they were about what they looked like, they wouldn't want to be known as related to Ashton. She rolled her eyes at the thought. How could her sisters be so different from her? She thought about her brothers at home working on the farms and wondered how long it would take for them to get their own jobs and start a new life. Siyah looked like he might have a new girlfriend. He's been out with the same one for over three weeks now, and with him, that was a major accomplishment. Both of her brothers liked to move around the girls. You wouldn't normally find them settled down. But maybe Siyah has indeed found a keeper. He had brought her home only once, and Ashton's meeting with her was brief. She seemed nice enough. Her name was something like Clara. It didn't matter though because Siyah seemed like he really liked her. Akia approved of her too, so maybe there was hope for the young couple. Thinking of her older brother being happy made her happy of course, but most of her wanted it to go back to how it was when she was little. Back then she was friends with all the boys, and she couldn't help but envy those times. She didn't have to worry about people thinking she was weird. Why did people think she was weird now? She hasn't changed. They are the ones who've changed. Sometimes it really pissed her off. How all of a sudden all of her so called friends could just turn their backs.

"Who do you think will ask you?" Ashton began listening to her sisters' conversation. What was Meri talking about?

"Well, I'm assuming a few boys will ask me today. Definitely Mark. Probably Jesse too." What. The. Hell.

Ashton turned back to her siblings and gave them a look that pretty much meant, shut the hell up. They looked at her for awhile before directing their conversation to something else. Yes. They had to bring up that the school dance was coming up. Joy. Ashton rolled her eyes. It was another boy girl dance that she probably wouldn't end up going to. Maybe she'd crash it. Just the idea gave her a smile. She'd show up in beat up shorts and a tank top ready to throw pies at people. That would show them. She laughed aloud and found her sisters giving her crazy looks. She had to shut up so they wouldn't suspect anything. Of course they were going. Well, Meri was probably too young. She couldn't remember if her age was going to the dance or not. Probably not, or else Autumn would be bartering her about who is going to ask her. It made Ashton sick how her siblings expected boys to just drop everything and ask them. Why couldn't they man up and ask the boys themselves? She was almost certain Autumn was going to turn down at least one of them just to say that she did. The whole thing was crazy.

She was glad when they reached the school and they went their separate directions. The rest of the day went smoothly too. Quicker than she had been expecting. It was already lunch by the time Ashton began paying attention to the time. She got up and made her way to the cafeteria along with all of the other kids. Lunch time was probably her least favorite time, but hey she got to eat, so it couldn't be that bad, right? She never really had a place to sit with people though, and it made her feel like a loser. Slowly, she entered the over crowded room and moved quickly to receive her food. Maybe she could sit outside today without anyone noticing. Yeah, that seemed like a good idea. Once she had all of her food, she quickly made her way to the door. She would have made it without anyone seeing her too- if she hadn't run into someone on the way. Food went everywhere, and Ashton went crashing to the ground. She could feel the stares boring down on her as she tried to clean up her tray as quickly as possible. She would have gotten out of their too, if the staff hadn't seen.

"You two! You're staying after to clean this mess up." No! She looked up for a second to see the stunned faces of all the kids around her. She found her sisters too, but she couldn't bring herself to meet their eyes. She looked up at the boy she had crashed into with sadness. She had seen him around before, but had never bothered to learn his name. What's the use though. He's just like everyone else.

"Great." She muttered.




Really too late to call
So we wait for morning to wake you
That's all we got ”

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[Tsarashi 2.0]

From the moment he woke up, Severus knew that that day was going to be a good one. Late the night before his sister Octavia had announced that she would be going out again the next day. That meant that Severus was safe from his elder sister’s tortures once more. That meant that when he returned home from a quiet day at school, he would be able to visit his Grandfather’s farm and spend a quiet afternoon weeding okra inside the greenhouse and out of the cold, and after that he would be able to go to his home and eat a nice, quiet dinner with his parents. It was a wonderful thought. And the very idea that every single one of his days would be like that once she finally married off and left home practically made him sigh in content. But of course, he didn’t sigh in content as he wished. That would have been weird, seeing as he was in the middle of a class.

He made sure that he never did anything that would make him stand out in any way, and if he were to show his contentedness he was afraid that he would lose his cool and indifferent persona. It took him years to finally find a place to stand in the rigid social structure of the school, and he wasn’t about to let one day’s worth of joy ruin that for him. He was happy with being invisible to some and being the person that others silently admire from a distance. It was relaxing. Nobody bothered him, he was never the subject of cruel gossip and nobody ever dared to pick on him. Sure, he was at times the subject of light hearted gossip among some of the girls during this time of year in particular, but that was only because of the winter dance that was rapidly approaching. Non of them were ever brave enough to ask him, though. If he wasn’t asked, then he didn’t have a reason going, which was fine with him. He didn’t really care one way or another, and although it would be nice to be asked, it was also nice to relax out of the lime light.

If he were to go though, what would people say? Would they be shocked that he bothered with a school event? Would poke fun at him for dressing in his father’s finest? Would the girls be jealous of the girl that would accompany him? No, Severus thought to himself, he wouldn’t be going anyway, so it was foolish to dwell on such thoughts. If his sister was still in school, he knew she would have had the audacity to ask the most popular guy in the school to go with her, and he would have said yes, because his sister simply had that type of personality. Octavia was outgoing and fun, she sought after adventure while still being prim and pretty. She was popular and admired by many, she made many friends and kept them even after she graduated. She was the exact opposite of Severus. And Severus never wanted to be like her.

The brunette looked out the window, bored, as the teacher droned on in the background. He has already learned what the teacher was trying to teach them, and he knew he would receive a good grade on the upcoming test, so it wasn’t necessary to listen at that moment. The class would be let out for lunch shortly anyway. Until then he watched as the snowflakes fell from the sky and coated the ground in a thin sheet that would melt soon. They never had much snow there, which he was thankful of. Severus didn’t like snow, though, he would admit that it’s purity was quite beautiful. As he counted snowflakes he wondered what he would do with his free time that afternoon, perhaps he would go to the library, or buy something with the meager money he had saved up.

Before he knew it Severus was collecting his packed lunch and heading to the cafeteria with the rest of his classmates. Blending into the crowd was one of his greater skills, and no body noticed when he slipped out the door to sit under his usual tree to eat his lunch. One thing that he hadn’t anticipated was the cold. Sure it was snowing a little bit, but it hadn’t been that chilly when he had been walking to school. He stood out there for a few more minutes, debating whether or not he should bare the chill in silence, or enjoy the warmth while being surrounded by hundreds of loud and often times annoying people. Soon enough though, his shivers told him that the latter option was best, lest he catch a cold. The last thing he needed was a cold. And so he turned back around to go back inside the cafeteria, cold soup in hand.

Once he was back in the large room all he needed was to find a secluded area so that he could eat undisturbed, but apparently he was never destined to find that seat. He was never destined to make it through the day without incident. He knew the prospects of having a perfect day was practically impossible. His daydreams of a nice, calm afternoon shattered as the girl bumped into him, her tray clattering to the ground, his soup being flung across the room where it collided with a wall, creating a cold, soupy mural. An unidentifiable substance of her lunch smeared itself down his shirt as he tried to keep himself from falling flat on his back. Obviously his tactics failed, because he had fallen to the ground with a loud crack of his back hitting cement. His poor back. Severus really was doing a number on it that year, first he was stabbed by a tree branch, now this.

Severus groaned as he pulled himself into a sitting position just in time to see the girl frantically trying to clean up her lunch, and just in time to be yelled at by one of the school staff. That was just wonderful! Absolutely perfect! There went his day! People stared in silent horror as Severus misdirected his rage my glairing daggers at the girl before him. No one dared talk, for fear that Severus would lash out at them. Their fears were foolish, but Severus knew they expected something similar from him eventually. Pushing himself into a noticeably forced state of calm, Sev rose to his feet, his teeth clenched and fists held so tightly his knuckles were turning white. The humiliation was too much for him to bear. He needed to get out of there, if only for a few moments.

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“That’s… an acceptable punishment.” He said through tight lips to the woman who had screamed at them. His eyes never once left the girl’s face until he turned away from her and started walking down the length of the cafeteria so that he could escape to the restroom out in the hall for a bit. The walk felt like a walk of shame, but he held his head up high. People refused to looking at him. Only when he had exited the cafeteria and entered the men’s restroom did the guilt settle in the pit of his stomach. He had made the girl out to look like the bad guy. He refused to leave the restroom until after school had been let out, which was thankfully only an hour. Until that happened and he was forced to meet the girl again, he attempted to salvage his shirt. [/justify][/color][/size][/blockquote]

[Kerrash]

Every occasion

know I'm ready for the funeral

[/font][/color][/center]

" I'm coming up only to hold you under
I'm coming up only to show you wrong
And to know you is hard; we wonder

The shame of it all was the worst part for Ashton. Leave it to her to put herself in such a mess. In public worst of all. She was still crouched down on the floor, holding her tray with shaky hands. The boy before her was furious with her, and with good reason. She couldn't think of what to say. She simply didn't know what to say. All she could do was look at him with eyes of deep sorrow. She could see the kids around her looking at her for the aftermath. They would watch her until the scene cleared. Closing her eyes, she wished the looks would disappear. Being the center of attention at a school where no one liked you was the worst feeling a girl could ask for. She could already feel the blush ripping through her cheeks. She knew the tears would be coming. She noticed that the boy had made his move away from the scene, and she followed him. Not to talk to him, no but to simply get away from it all. She'd have to come back, but for now she was gone.

She put her tray down on a table and left the mess for later. That was their punishment, right? To clean it all up after school? She looked around and saw the mess covering the floor, and on the wall where the boy's soup had spilled. She groaned quietly. This would take at least an hour. The staff probably wanted them to clean up this place in general too. She looked around and noticed the grim and dirt around almost every table that the kids sat at. Ashton wondered when the last time anyone cleaned this place was. She couldn't for the life of her remember a disaster quite like this, but of course, she always tended to be the first person to get into this kind of predicament. Well, there was nothing left to see. She quickly excited the cafeteria and made a B-line to the bathrooms where she checked to see if she was alone. Usually kids would come into the bathrooms to look at themselves in their mirror, something Ashton didn't really like to do, but seeing how no one was in there right now, she couldn't help but take a look at herself. She looked herself up and down to see how obvious it was that she was upset. Tears had begun to form in her eyes, and a few escaped down her cheeks as she tried to wipe them dry.

Straighten up! She tried to tell herself it was okay, but she couldn't even manage that. A noise beside her startled her, and she was surprised to find her little sister Meri beside her. Silently, Meri wrapped her arms around Ashton. Ashton couldn't even say anything. Her sisters were really the only ones aware of how bad Ashton had it at school. It wasn't like she was one to go home and bitch about it, but actually being at school with her was enough to realize something was going on. They saw the way other kids looked at her and they knew that it was hard for her. Of course, they didn't exactly go out of their way to make it better, but Ashton appreciated that. She wasn't into what they were into and so it just wouldn't work out. Nonetheless, the hug was comforting and Ashton hugged her sister back. Meri gave her sister a reassuring smile and left the bathroom.

For the next ten minutes she stayed there, staring at herself. She was trying to figure out what to do. Luckily, she had the bathroom to herself for ten much needed minutes. When finally a young girl appeared in the door way, Ashton took it as her cue and left without another glance at the girl. She entered the hallway and looked around her. So far, everything was empty. All of the students were still eating, and with a peek into the cafeteria, she could tell that the kids had nearly forgotten about the accident. That was reassuring to her, but still, the embarrassment was with her. She wasn't feeling hungry anymore, and so she decided to walk the empty hallways. It felt nice. She had the space to herself and she thoroughly enjoyed it. She liked the feel of empty hallways, and she even let her arms reach out and feel the fresh space. It wasn't often she could walk down these halls when it wasn't overcrowded with people. It was nice to finally see it for what it was.

All too soon, the bell sounded for the final class. Ashton really didn't feel like going back to where the other kids were. She could just imagine what kind of snickers and laughs they would throw at her, and really, she wasn't feeling up to pretending she didn't give a rat's ass. So instead, she wondered aimlessly back to the bathrooms and sat down on a bench outside. She could clearly see the cafeteria entrance from here and she watched as all the kids darted quickly to their final class. She would probably get into a lot of trouble for skipping if she got caught, but she could find a way out of it if needed. Besides, she had to stay for an extra hour to clean up. The least they could do was pretend they didn't see her skipping. Besides, it wasn't like she was blatantly skipping. Okay, so she was, but at least she wasn't actually leaving the premises. And she was here to do community service! She would just sit here. Whatever happens, happens, because she really didn't care right now.



Really too late to call
So we wait for morning to wake you
That's all we got ”

[/color]

[Tsarashi 2.0]

Severus T. James Cornwood

Severus watched with mild interest as hot water poured from the tap and seeped through the fabric of his worn shirt. The water wasn’t very hot since the school didn’t have enough money to heat it, but it was enough to lift some of the disgusting substance from the threads. The only soap he had to work with was a old, brittle bar that crumbled with the force he was using to scrub. And yet, after all of his hard work he was still not able to fully get the stain out. That was one less shirt that he was able to wear, bring his wardrobe down to two or three. At least he had a little bit of money saved up so that he could buy another to replace it, though that was certainly not what he had wished to spend that money on.

After pulling the shirt from the water and ringing it out, Severus hung it across the door to a stall for it to dry. There wasn’t much for him to do that hour until the end of the school day. He hadn’t wanted to skip his last class since he had never skipped a day in his life, but he truly didn’t have much of a choice. He couldn’t simply mosey into the classroom without a shirt on, that would have been inappropriate, distracting and against school regulations. So, he would have rather skipped in the restroom than gotten detention on top of his cleaning duties.

So he simply sat there, on the floor with his back against the cold tiles of the wall, counting the tiles on the ceiling for his only entertainment. There was a steady dripping sound coming from his shirt, but other than that there was silence. Sev could practically hear his heartbeat in the empty room. Once again he replayed the events of the past hour in his mind, wondering if there were any ways to avoid that situation, but none came to him. He had just walked into the room when she bumped into him, he hadn’t seen her coming so there was no way for him to have avoided her. Embarrassment caused his face to flush as he thought about the amount of people who had witnessed the occurrence. News had probably spread across the entire school by then. Thankfully though his reaction did little to change peoples’ outlooks on his persona.

Soon enough Severus was distracted form his thoughts as a low growl erupted from his stomach. He knew he would have been hungry soon enough. He hadn’t eaten breakfast that morning because he had the promise of a full lunch, but since that too had been taken away from him he was practically running on empty. Dinner would be minimal that night since his mother had cooked a nice meal the night before, the same leftovers which were now probably dripping down the cafeteria wall and into hard to reach crevices. Severus allowed a long, suffering sigh to escape him as he listened to the final bell echo in his cavernous hideaway. Soon enough the steady sounds of footfalls filled the air, the sounds of hundreds of students leaving the school doors.

The sound of the restroom door opening attracted Severus’ attention as a dark skinned boy peeked his head in.

[/size] ”Ah! So this is where you’ve been hiding out!” Said Marsh Cane, the only person who had actually pushed something akin to a friendship onto Severus. He was also partly to blame for the still raw scar on Severus’ shoulder blade. ”That was quite an act you pulled out there today, you okay?” Sev scowled up at the boy, showing him just how he felt. Cane rose his hands in defense with a chuckle. ”Okay, okay, got it, leaving now. Have fun?” Severus scoffed, he doubted that he would have fun, but he waved the kid away anyway .Some days, he really couldn’t stand that guy, but he appreciated the gesture. As long as their friendship stayed under wraps he was fine, he didn’t need to ruin his persona by being known as friends with a playboy.

As soon as the footfalls all but stopped, Severus knew that it was safe for him to show his face from his den of solitude. He stood to grab his shirt, but much to his dismay it was still soaked, well, that was a plan that backfired on him. He would have to walk around shirtless for a bit longer until it completely dried or he would really catch a cold. Briefly he looked his shoulder and into the mirror behind him to see his now red and bruised back, with that ugly half healed scar. Maybe the girl wouldn’t notice? He hoped pitifully but knew that probably wasn’t the case. After shaking his head and schooling his features he finally pressed open the door and stepped out into the hallway. Drenched shirt slung over his shoulder.

Looking around himself he noticed that the halls were empty and he was almost completely alone, except for the small figure of the brunette he had crashed into sitting on a bench. She really did look rather distraught. He practically bit his lip as he rubbed the back of his neck, wondering what he was supposed to do next. There was no one around besides her for him to act indifferent for, but he still didn’t know where she stood in the social structure, so he kept his mask on. Though, the words coming out of his mouth did have a rather awkward feel to them. ”Hey…um, shirt… it’s still wet…” Smooth.[/justify][/color][/size][/blockquote]