Breeze Lark

[Grumpy Angels]

Name: Breeze Midnight Lark
Age: 14
Gender: Female
District/Area: District 2
Appearance:

Breeze has dark brown, curly hair and subtle blonde highlights. She is 5'5 and has a slim, delicate build. Her hair is wavy, curly style, giving it an almost messy look. She has deep, knowing, dark brown eyes. She has full pink lips.

She weighs 114lbs, which is all muscle. She has little freckles and is neither tan nor pale. Her shoe size is size 6. She likes to wear jeans and a short top. She has a small necklace that she got from her friend Daisy that she never takes off. Though she is slim, she has had enough to eat her whole life, being from District Two.

Personality:

She is considerate of others, but will put herself first. She is very reckless, and loves challenges. She has little self-preservation, and will put her life in danger, just for the thrill. She can be extremely biased towards friends and family. She likes to live life life to the full, and not waste a second.

She is known to 'hold a grudge for eternity.'
She loves to go on adventures. She is skilled in all stations that do not involve weapons - eg: climbing, running, starting a fire etc. But she cannot swim. She also has quite good aim. She is quite a tomboy, but she still likes to look good, and she has recently been trying to get a certain guy to notice her.

Her biggest fear is water, she cannot swim and is completely terrified of it. She is also slightly afraid of heights, but she enjoys taking scary challenges above heights, to add to the thrill. She enjoys fighting others in wrestling and boxing, usually competing against her brothers. She loves to laugh and make others laugh, too. She hates moody people in general, even though she herself can be very moody at times. She is allergic to nuts, and they make her throat swell.

History:

Breeze was born on July 2 to Julia and Peter Lark. She is the youngest in her family, and has two older brothers, Andre (17) and Cory (19). She lives in a residential street in a small house. Breeze has a few friends, but only one very close friend, Daisy. Her and Daisy are best friends, and are like sisters. The pair are very different though. Where Breeze is tomboy, Daisy can't stand mud. Where Daisy likes to sing, Breeze likes to explore.

Her eldest brother is hoping to become a Peacekeeper. When she was younger, her brothers beat her up, so she had to learn to be tough fast. She had a pretty average life. Work in the mines, go to school, talk to her friends. She hangs out with her friends on Saturdays and Sundays. When the Peacekeepers aren't around, she sometimes ditches work or school. She always had enough growing up, and being a tribute is an honour in her eyes. She likes to head to the fence surrounding the forest and just lie on the grass beside it, listening to the hum of the electricity. When she was 8, she ate nuts, and her throat swelled shut. She was brought to the Hospital immediately, and just escaped with her life. Ever since, she has realized how short life is, and tries to live life to the extreme.

Codeword: oDair
Comments/Other:

Her birthday is July 2.
She is allergic to nuts.

[Deleted]

Hi there!

First things first, the app seems a bit short to meet site minimums. We require two paragraphs of appearance, three paragraphs of personality, and three paragraphs of history. A paragraph is generally considered to be five good sentences. Go back through and flesh her out a little more. Give us lots of detail!

There are a few places in here that she seems to contradict herself a little bit. For example:

She is considerate of others, but will put herself first. She is very reckless. She will sacrifice herself before others in dangerous situations, and has little self-preservation.

If she'll put herself first, why would she sacrifice herself for others in a dangerous situation? That doesn't make very much sense. Either justify this and explain it in greater detail so it's understandable or change it, please.

Her history needs more detail. You have a good skeleton going, but I'd like it if you combined what you've got (it looks like a set of lists and we don't typically do list bios) into more of a narrative. No little detail is too insignificant! Really tell us what she's about!

Please make the requested changes and post here when you're done, and I'll have another look at her!