Ro Martniz's Journal

[Timtab]

May 1

Dear Diary,
today was full of ups and downs, but mainly downs. In the morning, I found this little journal at the end of my bed. It's a deep blue color, about the size of a pocket, and has a sky blue ribbon to mark a page. It's not lined, which I like. I can write however I want, and maybe draw a few pictures.
Anyway, I didn't know where the journal came from, so I slipped it into my pocket, along with a pen, and went downstairs for break. Break is what I call breakfast, because I think 'breakfast' is way too long. Dad had made bacon and eggs, with fresh bread, butter and cheese. It was the best meal I'd had in ages.
I was left with my siblings for the day, because Dad was out working...as usual. Cal and Rick are old enough to work in the mines now, so I'm left in charge. I enjoy sometimes, because I get to boss Sunog and Maliksi. Except for when they don't listen, which is actually quite often. I got to make lunch: The bread from this morning with melted cheese, and a few veggies. Not a very filling meal, the kids say. They started to complain about being hungry two hours after lunch.
That's when the arguing started. We argued over food until dinner, when Dad and my older siblings came home.
They told me one of the mines had exploded, and they'd have to do extra work tomorrow. Dad was upset that the house wasn't clean, and the kids 'weren't fed'. Cal made dinner. A simple stew with rabbit meat from the market and lettuce that was several days old. I ate only half of my portion, then went up to my room. Dad yelled at me to come down and clear the dishes, but I wouldn't. Then he made me stay ion my room till morning, which was actually what I wanted.
It's 10:00 now.

[Timtab]

May 6

Dear Diary,
I haven't written in five days. Cal found my journal. On May 2, I was leaving the house, with the book tucked in my pocket. She asked why I was hiding something. I played dumb, saying I had no idea what she was talking about. She seemed to give up and leave me, but no.
I went to my favorite tree, climbed it, and started to write. I guess Cal followed me. I could suddenly hear yelling, and looked down to see her. I remember her exact words.
'Rose Beth Martinez, I swear you've gone crazy! The Capitol doesn't allow us to write things down, and of all places, you've decided to do it right under their noses, you stupid girl.' I didn't wait. Instead, I jumped out of the tree and started to run. I'm the fastest runner in my grade, but Cal is faster. I was hot with anger when she outran me, ripped the book out of my hands, and slapped my face. I tried not to crie, but I couldn't help it. 'I hate you!' I yelled, then ran away. This time, she did not chase me.
Now that I think about it, I believe she was scared for me. Although I still have a bright red mark on my cheek, and I think I'm starting to get a black eye. It was torture not to have the journal, even though I've written in it just once.
This morning, I found it in the trash can, dirtied up and with the smell of rotten food around it. I cried again and took it up to my room. Rick, Cal and Dad were out in the field. Sung and Mal were down by the pond.
I washed up the book in secret, then started to write. It still has a bent corner, yellow pages, and the ribbon is unraveling, but I won't give it up. It's my one place to keep my thoughts a secret. Next time, I will be careful not to write in a tree. Sunog just walked in the door. He's yelling for food.