Tribute Train [d3]

[skylarversion2]

[bg=081029][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true] [atrb=width,450,true][atrb=style,width: 450px; height: 265px; border:3px solid #702D4B; -moz-border-radius: 0em 4em; border-radius: 0em 4em; opacity: 1;] I remember tears streaming down your face When I said, I'll never let you go When all those shadows almost killed your light I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone As I sat in the Justice Building, I knew I was alone. I knew no one was coming to see me, and I was okay with that. It gave me fuel. Gave me time to think. Time to strategize. While Surge was probably crying with a family that's not dead, I was alone. Alone alone alone. And it's not because no one likes me, because I don't know if they do or not, I've just never partook in any extreme social interactions, maybe the occasional fake smile as I bought something from the cafe but that's about it. The couch was leather, brown and dried up. It was stiff like my body. Realization hadn't set in, and I had begun to fear that it never would. That I wouldn't realize what had happened until a knife was in eye, body mangled. I could feel a tear toss itself out of me and slip down my face, around my lips and down my neck. There were bookshelves all around me, dusty and ancient, and I wondered about how many tributes had sat exactly where I was, in the same situation. Alone without realization, with their mind a mess. I wondered if their feet bounced again and again as mine did, if they had mousy brown hair and bulky cracked glasses. But then I wondered if any of them thought they had a chance. And I know there's a few that had to have, but I know that the majority didn't. Hopeless. And when someone's hopeless, why would they try? Maybe that's the reason District 3 isn't a career district, because we're too smart to realize that having a 1/24 chance of being victorious isn't enough to try. As the Peacekeepers verbally dragged me out of the room, I picked my head up. I had things worth fighting for, even if they were invisible to everyone else. The Peacekeepers' white uniforms surrounded me, 3 in front of me, 2 to each side, and 3 behind me, as if to ensure that I wouldn't run away. But on the way to the tribute train, we passed behind many buildings, Surge in an identical human cage behind me. We're meant to eliminate all contact from the rest of our District until 1. we're physically dead or 2. we're emotionally dead. As I step on the train (it's relatively short, but it's obviously made in the Capitol) I'm greeted with an orange-y smell but red everything (minus the walls and lights). Red carpet, red sofas, red artwork, red. Sparky sits on the couch with his legs crossed. He blinks as the door closes behind Surge and I and he says hello. "Hi," I say. I try to focus on keeping my head up. I turn to Surge and slip out a "Tell me about you." I'm heartless enough that I won't let it get to me, but I'm not sure about him. If he gets to like me, he'll never see me coming.

[cass]

I didn't know if they would come, and I didn't want them to. I couldn't let them come and say good-bye. So I didn't. I walk over to the large brown oak doors in the Justice Building, the doors in the room were smooth and well crafted. They were worn from years of use and as my hand slide onto the cool metal I felt relaxed and calm. I was empty on the inside of all emotion. I was not being the normal me, but it was all i had to hold onto. I had, but myself today. I walk out of the room, past the Peacekeepers before they can stop me. Away from the room, away from the last memories I would have with my family. I didn't need it. So I couldn't.

I move out into the lobby, I move past the many doorways that litter the walls. All the pictures that carry faces and frames of so many different people. I knew none of them. I hurry past the glaring eyes and out onto the train platform. I smile briefly for the cameras, but it is tight and cold. I didn't like them staring and watching me. And to be honest I think I surprised them a bit with my sudden appearance. I walk past them, placing my gaze to the ground avoiding the voltures that surround me. I walk straight into the train and down a hall, away from the cameras.

There I sat. I sat and thought about it. It thought about all of it. I had a little chance. A small chance to survive. A one in twenty four chance of survival. That shouldn't be too hard. Just twenty four other kids. I'll just let them kill themselves and just wait. But I knew it wouldn't be that simple, but I also knew no matter what I did I was going to fight. I was going to fight to the end and never give up. I wanted to go home. I wanted to see Genie and my mother and father again. I even wanted to see that creepy girl again, because no mattre how weird she was, she had been nice. I wanted to see them all. I wasn't going to let anyone stop me. I was going to fight for everyone and everything I had.

I looked up at a sound. The soft sound of footsteps echoes on the soft expensive carpet. It was her, Seepie my district partner. I wasn't going to get close to her. I would be polite, I would be kind, but friendly. No that would be too much. I wanted to have no reason to be conected to her. I wanted to have no reason to be weak around her. No reason to keep her alive. They all must die for me to live. I will not let myself get close to no one, I have seen all of them die. Backstabbed and murdered. I would go solo, I needed noone, but myself to keep me alive. So I find myself surprised when Seepie talks to me. "Tell me about you." To be honest I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to say anything. "Ummm, I make the weapons for the Peacekeepers. I have a family... I have so much to live for. I will fight to the end. What about you?" I don't know why I said it. I guess I wanted her to know I wanted to win this, but then I founf myself staring. I was already becoming someone I didn't know.

I look at the window, I see myself, but I can already tell I'm changing you can see it in my words. I am not me any more and I don't even understand any more. What have I become? I couldn't answer that because I just didn't know anymore who I was or what I was going to do. I sigh and focus my gaze out of the window. I look and watch as the trees move in a blurr, it was like my life at the moment all a big blurr. The window was clean and shiny just like everything else in the train, I didn't like it. None ofit was like my home, none of it was home. I felt homesick already. My eyes flash to Seepie. Waiting for her to reply. That was if she choose to.

[skylarversion2]

[bg=081029][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true] [atrb=width,450,true][atrb=style,width: 450px; height: 265px; border:3px solid #702D4B; -moz-border-radius: 0em 4em; border-radius: 0em 4em; opacity: 1;] I remember tears streaming down your face When I said, I'll never let you go When all those shadows almost killed your light I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone I remember once, when I was younger, and my grandmother was still alive and fairly healthy, she took me to an ice cream parlor. Now, the ice cream parlor is long since shut down, but the sign still hangs with rotting wood, the paint peeling with eroded letters that spell out Jeremy's. We walked hand in hand, her floral dress tattered at the bottom. Her hands were wrinkled but I didn't mind, they were soft and at the time, anything soft was nice. I was a kid, couldn't have been any older than 8. "Have you ever eaten ice cream?" Her memory was weak, she couldn't remember a lot of things anymore. I had never eaten ice cream. "I haven't. Grandma, is it good?" It had to be, or else it wouldn't have been such a big deal. "Yes, it's great. One of the best things you'll ever eat." My stomach churned as the train began to lurch forward, making stumble a bit, I rested my hand on the wall to balance myself. I continued to feel both creeped out and artificially attractive. I hear Surge speak and I listen, but with all the commotion inside my mind, I realize that if I'm going to be successful at this conversation at all, I'll need to sit down. I know I'll be eating some of the best food I've ever eaten in my life, but I'm determined that I'll get it back. Because I never got the ice cream back. I ate it once and then never again. After the train has set into a rocket speed and my balance isn't distorted, and I sit down and rest my face in my hands. "Weapons for Peacekeepers, right?" I ask, pretty sure that's what he said but minimizing any awkward that may have been created. "And a family, huh? I wish I had one of those.." I say with a hint of sadness, even though it's not so much because it's true, but rather because I need to figure out how he works. I need to know how the gears inside him turn so I can shut him down.