As I Slowly Lose Myself

[Kyalee]

CCEEFF= Speech
99DDCC= Thoughts (Adrian)
336666= Thoughts (Daren)

---

Aw, come on! Seriously, your just goana let that kid get away with stealing your lunch!
Adrian sighed. This just prooved how truely crazy he was.
Daren, I traded with him. I mean, he had chicken! I havn't had that in a long time....
Yeah, but you could have just stole it from him. Then you could have two lunches!
Will you just please shut up and let me eat?
Adrian snapped in his head. He could hear the dry laugh of Daren's echoing through his head. He finally had some quiet though, and started eating. The day was rainy, and he was starring out the window of the cafiteria absentmindedly. The smell of some hot vegtable mush was entering his nose from the area where some people were eating. The musty air of the room hung in the air, and soon Adrian couldn't stay inside anymore. He finished eating, and walked out. He had decided not to eat with his friends today, he didn't feel up to it. Opening the cold metal doors, he walked outside. A burst of cold air soon enveloped his skin, and it felt good. The pitter patter of rain hit the side walks in a rythmatic pattern that echoed through the place they called school. The incessant voices coming from the cafiteria where now muffled. Adrian took a deep breath, bringing the fresh air smelling of rain into his nostrils. It relaxed him, and he sat down on a nearby worn out bench.

So.... You wana go skip?
Daren why would I go skip? My parents would find out anyway. Plus, can't you see me trying to relax?
Hey, I was just asking...
.... I'm sorry Daren. I just want to pretend, at least for a little while that I'm not completely insane.[/i]
Adrian hears Daren laugh, and after a little while of silence, continues starring out into space. The rain had gotten heavier from when he had walked out. Thunder was starting to rumble softly in the distance, but Adrian could not see the flashes of light that goes with it yet. He decided to go back inside, when he saw a dark figure come from the corner of a building.

Oh no! What if someone catches me out here and wonders w-
Calm down. Just walk inside, act normal.
It was times like this Adrian was actually a little grateful Daren was with him, that he wasn't alone.
I'll take that as a complement. You could take this time to skip school you know....
And there went the good moment. Adrian sighed, but still didn't know what to do. He tried to block out any things Daren said. He shouldn't skip....
Why not though?
Adrian sighed. Quickly, before the figure could see him he lept behind the cafiteria building. Hiding in the shadows, he crept off the property and he could sense Daren's triumphant giggle. He walked near the path out of the school, and finally made it to the exit. He was hesitant, walking out the entrance. He was making a choice that could have conquenses later....
You're already here... Theres nothing stopping you! Daren's tone was almost a growl, and was very frusterated.
Ugh, Fine.
Adrian finally gave in. He stepped off the property, and started walking down the street. He didn't look back to make sure no one followed him, because he was sure the figure hadn't seen him.[/size]

[kiah]

Elmo Mirrabella

Tears ran down her face, leaving salty trails down her cheeks. They were endless, full of sorrow and grief. They fell from her cheeks, dampening the sand on which they fell. There in the girls lap is the reason for all the endless, unjoyful tears. There in her lap, lay a rabbit. Pure white fur, innocent and beautiful, smeared with its crimson blood... Pure white fur, as pure and innocent as life its self, smeared with a substance that signified death and pain. Death. The words echoed around in the girls head. Death.

The girl gently stroked the rabbits fur with a shaky hand. Sods racked through her body. A fragile body. Deprived of food, sleep. Her face was screwed up in sorrow, as her glassy wet eyes studied the unfortunate incident, the unfortunate animal in front of her. it lay still and lifeless in her lap. The thought brought fresh tears to the girls eyes. The girl hadn’t meant to hurt it. She hadn’t meant to do anything to it. But when she saw it….. Saw it…. In the pain it was in… she felt that she had to of done something., she felt it was her duty… to help the rabbit. To put it out of its misery… it was hurt, squealing in pain…. She couldn’t leave it like that. Now it was in her lap dead… all because of her.

Regret, pain misery, all flowed through her body, all at once.

The rain soaked through the girls clothes, making her cold and wet, but she didn’t care not at the moment. Not with what had just happened, she couldn’t care less. At the moment the rabbit was all that mattered to her.

Slowly the girls senses seemed to come back to her. she had cried herself dry, shaking with dry sobs. Gently she picked up the limp rabbit. Carrying it gently over to a beautiful rose bush. Even in the rain it seemed to glow. Seemed to show off its beauty to the rest of the bushes that surrounded it. Superior. That was the best word to describe it. Using one of the girls shaky hands, the girl moved away some of the damp deadfall exposing the ground underneath. Gently the girl placed the rabbit on the ground, it looked lonely. Cold. But there was nothing else the girl could do for it. The tears started to flow again at the thought. Trying to hold them back she covered the rabbit up so it was not visible. Then she sat there. Eyes closed, as though she was praying for the rabbit.

The girl stood slowly, not wanting to disturb the peaceful air that had now surrounded the rabbit. Slowly she walked away. not looking back knowing that it would only bring on more tears.

The girls thought were elsewhere as she walked through the streets. Technically she should be at school, but the girl cared nothing for school. School? She never learnt anything. It was like she was just there to fill the numbers up.But the Forrest? That was where she wanted to be. Where she could escape her miserable excuse for a life. The Forrest where she could escape, the terrors of her childhood, where she could release her pain.

She was walking near a building when a movement caught her eye. She didn’t care if she was caught wagging school. The punishment that she would receive from the peacekeepers would make her life worth living, she only lived for the pain. Pain. Death. Death? That would be her dream. If someone would just kill her. put her out of her misery.

[/color][/size][/blockquote]

[Kyalee]

Adrian watched as the figure made their way slowly down the reflective street through the drizzle. Their clothes were soaked in rain, just as Adrians clothes were about to be too.
Hey, maybe she's skippin too. She looks like she needs company....
For once, Adrian kinda agreed with Daren.
Yeah, she looks like she needs company.
You need a skipping friend anyway. Daren snickered.
Adrian just laughed a little, and walked up casually to the girl. He observed her quietly and quickly before speaking. Her dirty blonde hair was wet, and sagging down like wet hay. It was wavy, and went all the way down to her waist. Most of her hair was covering her face, so it was barely seeable. She actually looked quite depressed now that he saw her closer, even her clothes seemed to wash her out.

"Hi..." Adrian's shy part took over unexpectedly. He cursed at himself. He sounded like an idiot, just going up to a random girl in the street and saying hi....
"You skippin' too?" He smiled slightly, a hoping smile that she wouldn't just give him a weird look and walk away.
Seriously? Thats what your afriad of?! I'd just walk away right now...

[kiah]

The girl eyes were clouded in thought. Thoughts on why she was still alive. She had no use on the earth; she was just a miserable wreck that wandered around on the ground that she was born on. There was no advantages for her even existing. Her whole life had been meaningless to her. from her childhood terrors to life she lead now, cutting herself, knowing that it was the best feeling she would now to feel. That was her life. Carving into her arm was the only thing that kept her going

The girl wandered on. So many hurtful thoughts filled her mind. There was so much to think about, but only one way, she knew off, to release them. The only way she had ever found that works. The way that makes her feel cheerful for at least a while. That thought made a smile appear on her face, but it wasn’t there for long, but it still had been there. The thought drove the girls hand into her pocket, where her fingers grazed the smooth cold surface of a blade. A blade that had been her best friend for a couple of years now, the only one to actually help her get through the days on which she wanders around uselessly.

The sound of footsteps echoed through her ears, she looked around, to see a boy observing her. The girl didn’t like the attention. She hated it, actually. It was one of her worse fears. She had no social skills, and didn’t grasp the concept of a conversation. That was only because she tended to stick to herself. She hated people, and you might even say she was frightened of most of them. They haven’t given her any reason to be comfortable around them, they just tend to scare her away.

The boy looked a bit shy as he said hi. Like he wasn’t sure in talking to her was a good idea. The girl felt relief go through her, she was in no mood to even look at the boy, she only wanted to calm her feeling from within, she thought as she removed her hand away from her pocket reluctantly. But even though the boy was shy… he still continued on, trying to start a conversation. The girl practically laughed at the boy question. Wasn’t it obvious? She wasn’t in class so what else would she be doing. She looked back over to see him smiling hopefully.

The girl didn’t know what to say. She was still very upset from…. From the rabbit… and all she wanted to do was get away from this all. From people, from life. She just wanted to escape it all even if it is only for a couple of minutes…

“Umm… yeah… Sipping.. Oh Hi.” The girl said stumbling over the words, but not returning the smile.

[/color][/blockquote]

[Kyalee]

Adrian watched the girl closely for a moment. She seemed lost in thought. Her green eyes were dull, and he could see in them a sad cloudiness. Adrian knew that look. He himself had seen it in his own eyes as he starred at himself endlessly sometimes. The awful aloneness that had used to consume him... The terrible fear of being abandoned. It is true though; he had been abandoned. Yes he had parents, siblings, friends. But all of it was just fake. They loved being friends with Daren, not him. Adrian waited for Daren to reply to this, but he was strangely quiet.

Even his family loved Daren more, how he made them laugh and brighten the mood. None of that was Adrian. He just controlled this worthless body of his. This worthless life. Sometimes he wishes Daren would just take complete control. Just let go, watch a good life go by with Daren making everyone fall in love with him instantly. Watch him get a beuatiful wife from his charming catch-phrases, and teach his children how to work and hunt. Daren would be much better than him.
Adrian you know that isn't true....
I would have thought by now you would have known you can't lie to me. Its like lying to yourself Daren....[/i]
Adrian sighed, and tried as hard as he could to stop his thoughts from wandering again. It usually just got him in trouble, his zoning off at the most important of times.

He watched carefully, as she reached into her pocket. Was she afriad of him? Would he try to stab him or something? Adrian got ready to dodge if she did, because maybe he had startled her. But she brought her hand back out, and it was empty. He relaxed a little, not wishing to explain a knife stab to his family.
Hey Family! Oh yes, I'm bleeding because I tried to skip school, and talk to a random girl in the street and she stabbed me![/i]
It seemed like a miracle that the girl's lips finally started to move.
"Umm… yeah… Skipping.. Oh Hi."
The girl stuttered slightly, and her wording sounded akward, as if she hadn't spoken a lot most of her life, but Adrian imediatly ignored this. Most of the reason was because of his deep embarassment.
Of course, what else would a kid be doing wandering the streets while school is going on?! Why can't you just think every once in a while?[/i]
Adrian sighed.
Daren, a little help here?[/i]
Adrian waited a while, but no responce ever came.
Thanks a lot![/i]
Adrian took a deep breath, and began to speak.
"Oh yeah.... I guess it should have been ovious... A girl walking through the street during school and every um thing. Sorry..."
He sighed again, and looked down the road. The drizzle set the mood on their akward conversation. But atleast it wasn't a did you hear about this and did you hear about that conversations that did not in the least amuse him. This was actually the first conversation with people other than his family without Daren. It felt good, but hopeless. He was horrible at socializing, gossiping, and pretty much anything that was based on communication.[/size]

[kiah]

The girl was not sure what to do next, and her hesitation was obvious. Not as obvious as twitching and stuff, but obvious for the boy to notice, to notice that she didn’t like to be in these situations, she didn’t like to talk at all. By the looks of it the boy wasn’t very comfortable with this situation either, he stumbled over words, dropping them in the end. The girl just looked at the boy awkwardly as words slipped out of his mouth. As a pathetic apology did. Why was he apologising in the first place? What had he done wrong? This confused the girl. This is why she never tried to socialize with people! She didn’t get the concept of a conversation.

She felt her blade cold against her skin, tempting her. but she wasn’t just going to whip out her blade right her right now and start carving into her arm, she never did it where she would be caught. Never did it in public. But she wanted to so bad. She wanted to feel the cold blade rest up on her wrist before she sliced it through her skin. Before she felt the sheer joy she felt when the blade slide across her wrist. The pain. Oh boy the pain. It was her medicine. It was her way of curing herself from her horrible past, her way to escape.

How do people end conversations? she asked herself desperate to find a way out, where she could go… go escape. She felt her mind burn as her 5houghts raced thinking hard. But what was she thinking of? It was all confusing. Her mind was racing, finding a solution, but yet it was going to fast for her, she couldn’t keep up with it. he felt light headed, the world spun around her, then she realized why her lungs where burning, they were begging her for air. She had forgotten to breathe. She took deep breathe letting the air find its way to her lungs. They sighed in pleasure. But she still had no way out.

“um.. do. Need… do you need something?” She asked stumbling over the words, she hated sometimes that she was sociably awkward. but really all she wanted to do was walk away forget this little encounter, just go relieve herself of her pain. The thought bring adrenaline rushing through her veins.

[/blockquote][/justify][/justify][/size]

[Kyalee]

Adrian watched the girl, heart pounding in his chest. Honestly, this was the first time without Daren he had ever talked with a girl. Honestly, he sucked at talking to girls. He waited patiently, but it was awfully suspensful. Daren probably would have burst because of the suspence. Probably would have just left this girl right then and there.
See, you know exactly what I would do.[/i]
But I can't just do that! Its sorta rude...[/i]
There was a long silence in Adrian's extremely screwed up head.
Daren? Please I really can't do this by myself![/i]
No answer from Daren came though. Adrian sighed, accidently out loud but he didn't think the girl noticed. She was too busy thinking, he could tell her brain was at work. Sadly, he feared she was just trying to think of a way to get very very far away from him. Him, the freak, the akward boy running around talking to complete strangers. Him, the person who could not even survive a day, maybe not even an hour without his double personality, or whatever you wanted to call it.

His mind wandered even more. The time the girl was taking felt like hours but was probably barely seconds. His nerves were aflame, itching with nervousness. His stomach was filled with butterflys, no wait, killer bees. He felt the vomit erupt in his throat, but quickly swallowed it. When his breaths shortened he knew he must be hyperventilating, he was freaking out.
Daren! PLEASE! Help me![/i]
The girl let out a breath, and he wondered if she had been holding it in. Then he wondered if he himself was holding his breath, because for quite sometime his insides had been burning. After a short investigation though, he came to the conclusion that it must be the killer bees inside his stomach stinging him. He looked down nervously as the girl began to speak. He felt like a fool.
"Um... do. need. Do you need something?"
Adrian shook his head slightly. He wished now he would have remembered some smart remark to reply to her with, like "Some lovin from you" but that seemed highly inappropriate, especially to a stranger. It would probably make him look stupid and freak her out. He slowly calmed himself though, but most of his nervousness was just replaced by frusteration.
"I need Daren!"

His heart dropped estatically as he realized he had said this out loud too. It had came out like a yell, but as soft as a whisper. He could have slapped himself. But he didn't because that would make him seem weirder. He needed to think fast, and he wasn't very good at that. It was soon ovious after a few seconds Daren really was not going to help him, not even after him saying it out loud. Adrian drummed his fingers nervously, took a deep breath, and finally replied.
"I mean, uh, not really... Honestly, I just really wanted someone to skip with... And you looked promising."[/b]
Adrian smiled like Daren did to dazzel some of the other girls, but it had a touch of deprateness in it that he was sure this girl would see. He tried though, even though it wouldn't even count if she walked away. Walked away, forgeting his very existence for the rest of enternity...[/size]

[kiah]

The adrenaline cursed through her veins, she was trembling. But this boy refused to give in. she wandered if she should just spit in his face and walk away, but he knew she couldn’t, something deep inside her told her they were more similar then she thought. That he was facing similar issues. That he was always forgotten and left out, like she was. Sometimes she does with that she was a normal person. That she could socialise with people without thinking about slicing her arm open just to distract herself. But that was never going to happen! She blamed it all on her mother! If her mother had just been normal, and not some lesbian child feeler she might not be so uncomfortable!!

She felt anger and longing run through her body. She clenched her fist and to control herself and took deep calming breaths. Her mother raged through her mind. When she was little she used to look out on the streets from the community home and see mother playing with their kids, having fun. She always long to have a normal mother. The girls eyes watered up with fresh tears, one’s she should of let go years ago. She hastily wiped them away she didn’t want to cry in front of a pathetic- wait! How could d=she call him pathetic, when she was just as bad?

She looked up at the boy, whose eyes were distracted as his mind raced. He seemed really annoyed, then he murmured something out loud that made the girls face screw up in confusion. Darren? Who’s Darren? then he took the time to answer the question. He wanted someone to skip with, and I looked promising… well she wasn’t sure how to react, especially with that dopey smile plastered to his face. It seemed quite desperate. Like he was alone in this huge world, just like her. they were both a lone with nowhere to escape. Then she stopped in her tracks, she did have somewhere to escape. She thought, then she took a moment to think about it. was the forest really a place where she could escape? Or was it just a place where she felt that she was a lone… more a lone than ever, just her blade and her .

The girl looked away from the boy. In all these years has she been actually escaping? Or just isolating herself even more? Just like her mother would have wanted… she couldn’t understand anything anymore her mind was going to fast for her, she was more confused than ever. She was always waiting. Waiting to accept the death that she felt would put her miserable life too an end where she never actually tried to make it more enjoyable. Maybe she wasn’t ready to die. Maybe there was something waiting for her further in life.

But e4ven though all these new possibilities have come to the girl, that hasn’t changed her social skills, these were just thoughts. What if they were rubbish that her brain wanted her to believe, then she would be hurt all over again. But what if she could make it work… she might actually be happy. But nothing came to mind on what she should say, so she just stared at the boy hoping that he could understand her silence.

[/color]

[Kyalee]

Adrian watched the girl curiously. They seemed to have a sort of.... similarity, so to speak. I mean, he didn't exactly feel as embarassed as he exepected he would be by the end of the conversation, especially since Daren had left his side. But he found, soon after, that since she wasn't the best at socializing either. He still was worse though, but atleast she hadn't totally walked away without a single glance, or worse, a glare.

For once, Adrian was glad Daren hadn't spoken. Hadn't helped him talk, moved his mouth in foriegn but pleasent motions. It was like he was taking control for once, but still, lonliness crept into his heart.
Daren? You there?[/i]
A moment passed, and Adrian's heart sank lower and lower. He looked down sadly, but suddenly a stiring of something in his brain awakened.
Don't worry Adrian. I'm here. I just decided to let you have some time on your own for once. Plus, its amusing watching you try to imitate the great Daren.[/i]
He heard the laughing of Daren, and he himself almost laughed out loud too. Relief flooded through his heart, like ice water. He was so glad Daren hadn't left him. If he had, Adrian didn't know what he would do....

Adrian watched the girl cautiously as her mind was at work. The look on her face wasn't very good, and he was pretty sure something bad was about to happen.
I hope she doesn't just walk away...[/i]
Trust me Adrian, she won't[/i]
Adrian hoped Daren was right, and sat starring at the girl. While he waited his hands tapped nervously at his side and adrinaline coarsed through his viens. A sense of want was in his heart, and it slightly disturbed him. Why did he want this so bad? What was causing all that hopefullness in his heart to apear, almost out of thin air? He had so many friends already, plenty of girls who would talk to him no problem....
Actually, they're my friends. My girls.[/i]
He laughed, and suddenly it became all clear to Adrian. They really were Daren's friends. I mean, he always let Daren take over when they tried to talk to him.... He couldn't honestly remember the last time he had talked to one of "their friends".

Adrian sighed, and movement suddenly caught his eye. The girl was turning around. Fear crept through his skin, causing chill bumps to pop up, and a cold sweat to run through him. His heart skipped a beat as she looked away from him silently, like a statue. He looked curiously at her, wondering when she was finally just going to walk away without a thought for his figure ever again. Erase his memory completely from her mind so she wouldn't have to feel any guilt for just leaving him stranded lonley on the street. But he wouldn't mind if she walked away, and forgot him. He would probably just let Daren take over, take him to a cold, dark place. Maybe get high off his sadness and turn it into giddy bittersweetness.

But the girl didn't move. She just stood there, starring at some piece of road away from him. Adrian frowned, confused. Was she going to say bye or something? But thats when it hit him; maybe she just didn't want to speak? Maybe she just wanted to walk with him but had no words to express it... It was hopeful thinking but he decided to take charge. He slowly stepped up beside her, cautiously and alertly.
"You just wana go walk?" He spoke in a soft tone, almost a whisper. [/size]

[kiah]

As the girl stared at the boy she couldn’t help but notice the color of the boy’s eyes. They were a deep beautiful green. She got lost in them, the green glow surrounded her, enveloped her. But it wasn’t a frightening feeling, it was peaceful and gentle, it was a place where she wanted to be. It reminded her of being in the forest. The forest, she snarled to herself, side tracked. The forest. The word now seemed distant to her. The place where she believed she was taking refuge. Well it really wasn’t as it seemed. It was just a lie… in its own way.

Slowly she was washed to the surface of her day dream; slowly she looked away from those eyes. It was hard but she did it. why it was so hard? She didn’t know. The long silence would usually be comfortable for her. usually she would welcome it. welcome it with open arms. She loved silences. Love to hear her heart beating harder and stronger as it went on, loved to watch the uncomfortable expressions on the people around her… but this silence… this silence felt different. It was uncomfortable. It was different. But what was different about it the girl couldn’t put her finger on.

Finally after what seemed like forever the boy said something. Relief flowed through the girl as she absorbed the question that he through at her. she would like to walk, but what would she say. Would this uncomfortable silence get to much for her to take would she just walk away. She had to say something. Now. It was now or never. Then something hit the girl, she didn’t know his name, the name of this boy who seemed as socially awkward as her herself.

“sure.” She said trying to make her voice firm, not shake with nervous quiver, which were flowing through her strongly. She had to stay calm, this was a chance to rebuild her life, she had to go with it. “what’s your name?” she asked questioningly letting the words slice through the air, unexpectedly.

[Kyalee]

Adrian's uneasiness and dread started to come up again, but stronger. Had it been wrong of him to ask her if she wanted to walk? Maybe he should have just let her be, and walked away. Maybe she was just trying to walk away, and reject him nicely. Try to tell him in the nicest way possible that he was weird by being silent. He wanted to put his head in his hands, and just give up to Daren, but he knew that wouldn't happen. Daren was just as stubborn as ever, hidding in a corner of his mind.
Fine Daren. Stay there. But you're goana have to watch as I screw up.[/i]
But somehow Adrian knew this wouldn't intimidate Daren in the least. It was like he knew something Adrian didn't..... And this really annoyed him.

As he drew more closer to the girl, he was infact, filled with dread. But mixed into that dread was a curiosity to why this girl was acting like she was. Was she really trying to avoid him, or was she just trying to send him a signal of some kind? Girls always seemed to confuse him, especially their actions. So he decided to ask other questions; Where did she live? Why hadn't he ever seen her before, like in school or on the streets? Did she have any siblings he knew? Oh, but what did it matter, when she was probably thinking right now about how weird he was, and probably how clingy he probably seemed. I mean, why was he even still here, following her? Adrian hoped with all his pathetic heart that she didn't think he was a creeper, or stalker or something. And thats when it occured to him how worried he was, over something as little as this.

But it was bigger than just a conversation to him. It was like a test, a test that challenged his social abilities. Sadly, his weren't that great. It was a start though. Suddenly though, a voice interupted his thoughts. Her voice. He was taken from a dark world inside his brain, and back to her, to the real world. Relief flowed through him, and he could have almost laughed outloud. He knew when she uttered the simple word "Sure" this girl would not walk away. And all he sensed was relief as he smiled at her widely, as he strode forward.
"What is your name?"

Adrian felt slightly stupid for not asking that question himself. Why hadn't he? Maybe this whole situation was akward because he hadn't even introduced himself. But he certainly wasn't going to waste anymore time arguing with himself on what he should or shouldn't have done. The past was the past.
"I'm Adrian. And you are?"[/color]
He was honestly curious what her name was. Maybe he would reckonize it or something. Hopefully he would... Then maybe it would be easier to create conversation.[/size]

---

Word Count: 488
Mood: Nervous
Outfit: None yet
Comments: This is a new thing I'm trying. I saw someone do something like this before, so I decided I would make something like it.

[kiah]

She could tell the boy was nervous, and that meant he was really nervous. If The girl can distinguish emotions that must mean the person is making them very obvious, or clear. But the thought didn’t make her uncomfortable, or ,make her feel like she wanted to flee, flee to the forest which she once thought of her home. The word now seemed foreign to her. it surprised the girl how quickly her thought had changed on the place that was her home. The only place she felt that she could survive this horrible world. The only place where she felt free from the capitol and there evil ways her heart ached. She had loved the that place, now it just filled her with anger. Hate.

Her raging thoughts were interrupted by the boy. He looked frustrated in away, like he couldn’t believe that he hadn’t thought about introducing himself; she smiled on the inside. She wasn’t the only one here who was struggling to keep up a conversation.
“I’m Adrian.” He said his voice was loud but the girl could sense the relief that he was able to keep the conversation going. Adrian. That was a nice name. It was a name that reminded her the pet dog she had had for a couple of years. He was the best thing to ever happen to her. Adrian was. And maybe this Adrian might even be a better thing. “you are?” he asked passing the conversation over to the girl.

The girl was a bit reluctant to give away her identity. Not many people new her name, or new her at all for that matter. She liked that. But then she remembered that she was trying to turn her life around. It was harder than she would ever had thought, turning it all around. Was it worth it? she brushed the question away. There was only one way to find out. That was to give it a go.
“Elmo,” Elmo she said carefully. Smile she told herself, she drew her lips back and forced a smile. Boy did that take effort. She hoped the smile didn’t look as fake as it seemed. She felt silly, but she held it.

Then without another word she stepped off, heading in the opposite direction to the forest. She wanted to get as far away from there as she could.

[/color]

[Kyalee]

Adrian watched the girl closely. She seemed.... well almost not willing to give him her name. There was a somewhat cautious look on her face. Like she thought he was dangerous, or couldn't be trusted with her name. But maybe it was just the way the light shone on her face, maybe it was just him. Either way, she was similar to him in a way, just not seeming to fit in just right. Like two puzzel pieces that fit, but just look plain wrong, like zebra print in the middle of a frog's face. This was probably the only reason Daren had allowed him to take control, because it would be easy to socialize with someone like Adrian. Someone he could relate to.

Elmo, the girl's name was Elmo. Elmo spoke carefully, and this confirmed Adrian's suspisions. So he wasn't just imagining it....
Oh, this is going to be intresting.[/i]
This was also when Adrian realized how close Daren was evaluating their conversation. Part of Adrian wanted to laugh with him, but the other half just wanted to slap Daren. But then again, wasn't half of him already laughing?
Man... that is true...[/i]
It was quite funny to have two minds it one sometimes..... But sometimes it was just annoying.

Adrian started to think about her name. Elmo.... What an intresting name... It was unlike any name he had ever known, unique in itself. Yet.. It seemed to make him think of the color red. From the color of red that shone on the clouds at a sunset, to the saguinious color of blood. With such a distinct name, Adrian wanted to know more about its orgin, about the girl named Elmo. He thought for a moment, about strategies to this, until suddenly, he noticed Elmo's face turn into a smile. A sort of goofy one, as if she was forcing it. That was probably true, it wasn't very fun talking to him, but atleast she was trying to look like she was enjoying it. Adrian studied her smile, while at the same time smiling back. It was forced, but infact was a little dazzeling. It was pretty in its own way, and Adrian thought she looked better when she was smiling, somewhat more cheerful.

Adrian went back to his strategies. He was the smarter side, so he tried to treat it like a math problem or something, something he was more familiar with. This didn't work though, to his disapointment. He ended up giving up and just went with trying to be nice.
"Nice to meet you, Elmo."
He stopped smiling, just so she wouldn't feel like she was obligated to smile back, and put his hand out for a hand shake.[/size]

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Word Count: 454
Mood: Nervous, yet Content
Outfit: Here
Comments:

[kiah]

Elmo could feel her feet moving along the ground but her mind was still with the boy. The boy who was still standing there. Hand out. Then she realised she had taken off too quickly. That maybe listening to what the boy had to say first would be a better idea. She retraced her steps quickly, embarrassed of leaving the boy hanging, standing there with his hand out in a formal greeting. Normally a person would have taken the hand without hesitation. But this was Elmo. She wasn’t your normal average teen age girl. She was different. She was a insecure girl. she trusted no one. It wasn’t her fault really. It was her mother’s all hers. Elmo could feel the anger rise up through her, threatening to boil over, lucky Elmo was good at holding back her emotions.

But this boy was different. She wasn’t sure what it was about him. I mean he was a popular jerk, as Elmo usually would have said, but he seemed different here. Now. Like he was just pitting a show on when he was out in public view, like he wasn’t himself. Elmo had seen how easily he had been able to get a conversation going; she had watched him, like she watched everyone. But here, now? Be didn’t seem the same. Maybe she could take the chance. Maybe she could let her guard down. Just for this boy, who willingly is for her.

Finally she took hold of the boy hands. They were warm, and rough, callused from hard physical labour. But there was some comforting feeling about the strength that she could feel. Something that she liked. The warmth spread through her and Elmo couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face, this time it was real. Then embarrassed she looked away. Down at her feet. Feet that were all muddy from trudging along in the muddy forest. She had forgotten to put shoes on, in her rush to relieve herself of the mental pain, pain that was to be turned physical.

“ummm… Should we walk now?” she asked in a small vice still to embarrassed to look up at the boy. Instead she headed off. The direction that would lead them far, far away from the dreaded forest. The lie that she could never forgive. Heading in a new direction. A new direction to turn her whole life around.

[Kyalee]

Adrian was spiked with nervousness when he realized the girl had started to walk away. He didn't know how he could have possibly didn't realize that. But thankfully it was only akward as she walked back to him, and shook his hand. Her face was somewhat embarassed looking, and Adrian cursed at himself for making her even feel like that.
Ugh.... It was my fault for stopping, man.... Why can't I pay attention?[/i]
I know why..[/i]
The voice was soft in his head, and laughter followed it. But Adrian didn't ask Daren to tell him, because he knew he wouldn't. And it would annoy him to be ignored, so he stopped badgering Daren for once, and was content that one part of him knew.

The handshake, though only a short gesture sent warmth shooting through his arm. He shook it gently, as not to hurt her or shake too hard. But as she shook his hand, he felt a strength there, a strength of expirience. He didn't know how he knew, but he could tell she had been through alot. Like she had been hurt, hurt by someone. Once again, his mind confused him. He was probably wrong.
How can you tell that from a handshake? You can't....[/i]
It was weird. He was weird though. He just was, and that was that. How could he possibly even think or have an idea of her being hurt by someone? Was it because the handshake was a bit hesistant? Maybe it was just him being hesistant, maybe he was just confusing himself. Maybe it was himself who had been hurt.
Adrian! Stop beatin yourself up. Calm down, its fine.[/i]
Thats when he realized that he was yelling these thoughts in his head.
Right... Its just a conversation.[/i]
And your yelling at yourself for every mistake you make. Adrian, calm down. Nobody's perfect.[/i]
Yes... I know..[/i]
Adrian shook himself out of his bizzare thoughts, and finally let go of the girl's hand. She smiled, and this time it was less goofy, and more dazzeling it seemed. He once again was caught starring, and for some reason couldn't stop until she turned her head to the ground. But he knew that smile wasn't fake, or goofy. It was genuine.

She spoke after that, while starring at the ground. She wanted to walk again, and after he nodded they started off quickly down the street. She still had her head down, and Adrian wished he could see her face but thought it would be embarassing to ask to see her face.

Adrian walked quickly with her, one of his strides two of hers. They were quiet, and he was busy thinking. Thinking about what had brought him here, to this road with this girl, this girl Elmo. Maybe it was fate, but it was mostly just Daren. Daren urging him to skip, Daren telling him she was probably skipping too. But right now, it was all Adrian.... All him. This was a big change though.... Adrian never got to control.... He guessed though sometimes change was good.[/size]

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Word Count: 512
Mood: Nervous
Outfit: Here
Comments: