Could this be love? or is it just Hate?(Steffenee)

[kiah]

I've been crying for so long,
fighting tears just to carry on,
but now, but now, its gone away,

The night swooped around him. Welcoming him with opening arms. But to most people the arms you should be afraid off. Like walking into church cursing the lord. But Stallion had nothing to be afraid off. He waited for death. He waited to burn in hell, but there was on string that held him on this earth. Bella. She had a hold on him. One that he never could imagine was possible. She had turned his life around. For the better. But when she wasn’t around… he could feel himself turn around, like he was being sucked back into the world of darkness. Back to his world of anger. Suffering. Sadness. The world where he deserved to be. he deserved to feel all the regret. Everything that had happened was his fault. All his…

The starts didn’t shine in the sky Stallion. Why would they? They were sings of good. Signs that meant new life or the remembrance of life you just lost. Life of lost ones. They didn’t shine night for Stallion. Stallion was like the Devil. He scared the stars away. Scared them into hiding. He was not a person you wanted to get mixed up with. Be burned; hurt anyone that would disagree with him. With only one exception. Bella. Bella had stood up to him. She had shown him that he wasn’t as scary as he seemed. She had shown him so much. But yet being away from her tonight had had its toll on him. Unwanted memories had swarmed into his mind, filling him with all the emotions that made up a bad person. Hate. Anger. Revenge. All emotions mixed into one big storm. It was mayhem. All thpse emotions bombarded him tonight.

Looking up into the dark sky tonight, Stallion could feel these emotions stirring through him. Waiting a chance to be released. To make an appearance. Someone who could challenge them. they wait eagerly. Stallion could feel them. he had to hold back. He had to. For Bella… For himself. he walked slowly over to the pier in front of him. Dark empty. Just the way he wanted it. What was the chance of him running into anyone out here? At this time of the night? On this gloomy unwelcoming night?

Why was he out here tonight? That was a question he didn’t even know the answer of. He just wanted some air, he had had a rough night. Dreams had haunted him, creating the deep bags that surrounded his tired eyes. But being out here… wasn’t helping him. Why had he chosen this place? this place was full of horrible, horrible memories. And yet here he was. He knew deep down why he was here. He was regretful. To all those people who had died… died because of his selfish. Foolish, actions. Slowly he realised the tears had formed in his eyes. He had become so soft. He had become a man. Not a revenge craved monster. Yes the people of the District were still scared of him. You can’t change a reputation you have built for yourself. But the one person the trusted you. Believed in you. Well that person was special.
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He could feel the bags of his eyes pull down on him. He knew he looked like a wreck. He hadn’t slept at all last night, and now he was paying for it. The nightmares had swarmed him, scaring all his happiness away. But he felt himself brighten at the thought of Bella. Her beautiful golden blonde hair. Her breath taking smile. Her cheeky laugh. All these thought brought the usual happy smile to his depressed face, making him look a bit younger. Before he meant Bella he had been a revenge craved monster, now he barely noticed those dark thoughts. Thoughts that had turned him into that monster. Life had finally fallen into a path for him. A path that was full of happiness. He loved the presence of her. she made him happy, in a way no one else could.

Today walking in the streets he could feel that happiness radiate off him in waves. Waves that were contagious to the people around him. They would smile while they walk past, and then realise who they smiled at, before scarring away in fear. He knew he could never really be happy living here, here in District 4. But for now he was. He had Bella. But soon all these people… he wouldn’t be able to stand their accusing stare. Sometimes… just sometimes, he wished he could return to his old ways, bashing randoms on the streets. But then he would look to the ground ashamed. H would remind himself he was a good man, well the best he was gonna get, before he turned his thoughts to a more positive thought.

He knew he was going to see her today, and his heart skipped a beat at the thought, but when was he? He wasn’t sure and the that was the exciting thought, he thought a smile painted on his face.

[ooc=so sorry it's rubbish... it's long but boring DD:]

[Steffenee]

That morning Bella woke up earlier then normal and for the life of her she couldn't figure out why. She wondered if she had just been so out of whack with her sleep lately that it caused her to wake up at abnormally early times. She had been staying out late with her boyfriend whenever she could, and most times it would have to be late, after her parents were asleep and she wouldn't be caught sneaking out. She hadn't gone out last night which might be why she was up so early. Thinking about Stallion got her missing him all over again; she rolled over in bed and pulled her pillow over her face. She had just seen him yesterday, but it felt like forever ago. They had been spending so much time together that she felt like she could tell him anything, well almost anything. She hadn't told him much about her life or what happened to her or really what her parents think of their relationship. He knew that her parents weren't happy, but he didn't know they were trying to lock her in to keep her from seeing him.

It wasn't that her parents didn't like him, it was just that they didn't know how to react around him in the first place, and then when she started dating him that was an uproar in the house. They had been okayish with them being friends, but dating? That was not okay; she had heard every reason she knew her parents could think of for her to break up with him. He was a thug, he scared everyone, he could hurt her, he could break her heart, he abuse her, he could get arrested, and the one that she found really funny is that they thought that he might get her pregnant. They were teenagers, and yes he was older then her, but he would never pressure her to do anything and she knew it. She could see it when she looked at him that he would never do anything to purposely harm her, break her heart, or any of the other reasons that her parents were giving her. She was good for him and he was good for her and they were in love and there was nothing her parents could do to stop her from seeing him. Thinking about her parents hating her boyfriend put her in a pretty bad mood and she really just didn't want to think about anything anymore. She wanted to do something, not just lay there and think-even though normally that is what she would rather do. She got out of bed and went to her closet looking through her clothes for something to wear when she saw him today. She wasn't working at the shop and had told her parents she was going out with some friends from school for a spring clothes shopping day; she didn't normally lie to her parents like that, in fact, she hated lying to them more then anything, but she wanted to see Stallion and her parents wouldn't let her.

She figured it was going to be fairly warm with the spring weather approaching so she dug out some of her spring outfits from last year, she hadn't had a chance to go shopping yet, but that didn't matter to her, she was happy to be seeing him all day without her parents bothering her about coming home and staying away from him. She pulled out a skirt and a t-shirt that went together just like her clothes should. She then found a pair of flats that would match any outfit she would or could put together. Most of her family was still asleep, except for her father of course. She had heard him get up and go downstairs about thirty minutes ago which meant that he was going to be hoping shop soon. She would probably work a little in the morning because she wasn't meeting Stallion until it was time for lunch. She still liked her dad, because even though he didn't like her boyfriend, he saw how happy he made her so he didn't try to stop her from seeing him too much, only when he thought they were spending too much time together and he got worried.

She spent hours in the bathroom getting ready, much to her family's protests. She couldn't decide if her outfit looked good or how her hair should be. She kept changing how her make-up looked and how her hair was styled. She wanted to look her best when she saw him, just like every time. She finally finished in the bathroom and left to her siblings complaining they were going to be late for this or that and she honestly didn't care. She padded down the stairs in her outfit which fell perfectly down her frame. She smiled at her father as she came down the steps and grabbed her bag, she had spent the whole morning getting ready and trying to decide how she should look for when she saw him. She kissed her father on the cheek and told him goodbye before hurrying out the door. He was happy to see her in such a good mood lately, but she knew he wished that things were different and that she wasn't dating a known thug.

She walked down the side walk to meet up with Stallion unless, of course, forgot. She wasn't sure what she was suppose to do if he wasn't there. While she was on her way to the meeting place though she saw him walking towards her father's shop on the other side of the street. She laughed some to herself before cutting across the street quickly and walking up to him. He was so funny, if he was walking to her father's shop it was obvious that he had forgotten their plans. She was all smiles until she actually saw him. He looked so worn and tired and she was worried. "Hey, I was just coming to meet you!" She smiled she was going to bring it up later to him about sleep. Right now she was just happy to see him.

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