Adaption (Rachee)

[Micah]

I wake up on the cold floor of The Yearlings house. I keep referring to 'them' as the Yearlings, but I'm a Yearling too. I'm a month of the year and so is everyone else. No one knows their parents and neither do I. I'm confused when I first open my eyes, my mind is set into a panic before I can remember these details. My breathing slows and I feel a cold sweat on my chest, I stay still trying not to wake my 'siblings'. The word siblings bounces around loosely in my mind as I rub sleep out of my eyes. Siblings I try to think of the rest of The Yearlings as family, forcing myself to accept my family.

Groggily, I crawl out from between October and December letting them sleep. Still on my hands and knees my body wills itself to crawl in it's half asleep state towards Maye. I arrive by her small sleeping area and crawl next to Maye forcing her to sleepily unroll from the ball she was wrapped up in wrap around me. I lie my head between her cheek and shoulder and say nothing.

Maye, the only Yearling I bonded with in my couple days here. I'm on average terms with the other Yearlings, except maybe Marchello whom I've fought on multiple occasions. But Maye, beautiful fabulous Maye was nice to me from the start. Maybe it was the fact that she was a huge flirt, or maybe she did truly, honestly care about me.

I snap back to reality as Maye begins to stir, I want to lay here forever, I feel safe. I look up to see Maye opening her eyes, I brush a strand of hair out of her face and whisper into her ear, Sorry, I started panicking, I needed some comfort. Will you please get out of bed, I'm feeling really shut in. Take me on a walk Maye please! I plead with Maye pathetically and nuzzle my head farther into her while I place my hand on her stomach and start poking her awake. My breathing speeds up and my heart rate goes with it, I need to get up. Maye! I whisper again shaking her by the shoulders.

[Rachee]

Last night I slept soundly, even with so many reasons not to. I don’t believe I have a single reason to be grateful. This house is cold and uncomfortable, my stomach is killing me, and all night one of the younger kids was whimpering in their sleep. I think it was December, or maybe November, who knows. Now that I’m awake there’s no chance of falling back asleep. Maybe I am grateful; at least I got a good six hours of sleep last night, right? I start to curl up into a ball as a breeze enters the room. None of the others have woken, I don’t think; maybe I should wake them? I don’t feel like moving though. It takes a while, but eventually, I feel myself start to drift off again. This time I’m only half asleep. I’m still completely aware of my surroundings. I hear the body moving; someone’s awake, but I can’t tell who. I’m careful not to move. Maybe if they think I’m asleep, they’ll leave me alone.

I should have known it was him. His little body invading my space; November snuggles up against me like a child. That’s all he is. A boy. Even though I know he wishes he could be something more to me… At first, I ignore his presence. I let him force his head onto my shoulder. He starts to whisper. Damn, it tickles my ear. I almost laugh out loud, but instead, I give into his constant pressuring. “Alright, alright.” I turn my head to face him, keeping my mouth shut because I know my breath must be horrible. His probably is too. “Give me a second to wake up.” I struggle into a sitting position and shake my head at the needy little fourteen year old. For a second, I forgot how cold I was. My body starts to shake and I quickly grab for the blanket. “Ugh, just grab me a sweater, will ya?” As I stand up my gaze falls over the others, fast asleep in their warm, warm blankets. I wish I could sleep as soundly as them. I wish November wouldn’t wake me up so early in the morning to go for a walk. I don’t mind really, but I still wish things were different.

[Micah]

“Alright, alright.” I successfully woke Maye up and, as I was expecting, she wasn’t too happy about it. I scoot a little away from hoping she will get up soon, I can’t help feeling bad about waking Maye up so early in the morning, I could’ve just gone out by myself, but I know she will agree to come with me eventually. “Give me a second to wake up.” Maye hisses at me and slowly sits up blinking her sleepy eyes at me, I can see the annoyance in her eyes but I pretend not to. Shaking her head at me Maye pull the blanket to her and shivers. The thin blankets at The Yearling House aren’t enough for anyone during the cold months of the year. “Ugh, just grab me a sweater will ya?”

A sweater, yeah that’d be a good idea for me too. Ok, wait a sec. I roll over onto my chest and push myself up, every bone and joint creaks, begging me to stop. When I reach the dresser I first pull out a thick black sweater for Maye, and then a plain blue one for myself, I slip mine on and it’s warmth rushes to me. On my way back to Maye I see October shivering and I put my blanket on top of the other sigh when October stops shivering.

Here Maye, I drop the sweater into her lap and sit down next to her, Ready to go? I can tell may it still sleepy, but at this point nothing is stopping me from leaving. I stand up and reach my hand down to Maye Lets go, I promise we won’t stay out to long, then we can come home and I’ll make you breakfast. I smile down at her. The grin feels unnatural and new to my face, I don’t normally have much to be smiling about.

[Rachee]

I feel as if I’m still asleep. I’m aware of November’s giddy reaction; I ask him for a sweater and he crawls over to get me one. So obedient. Why is he always so obedient? Things are so confusing to me in the morning. I forget how obsessed this kid is with me, I forget how much I love to string him along. I forget that I am mean. Maybe for once, today I can actually be nice to him, honestly and genuinely nice. A look of concern comes over my face; I’m tired, but I can still hear the creaking of his joints. I’m good at noticing things others don’t, like the hint of pain in November’s eyes when he stands. Better ignore it for now, maybe if I’m still feeling nice I’ll talk to him about it later today. I know this isn’t likely, but it’s nice to pretend things will turn out.

He’s such a sweet boy. I watch November as he covers up a pitiful, shivering October with his blanket. We’re all pretty pitiful hiding out in this abandoned house, especially me. I don’t have a job and I don’t plan on getting one anytime soon, despite constant pleading from the others. January would probably love if I at least tried to contribute. Maybe I will, someday. That’s even less likely than me being nice though.

In my daze, I almost forget about going for a walk. November plops the sweater in my lap and I snuggle up to its warmth. Man I’m tired. I can barely manage to get my arms in the sleeves of the oversized, black, and itchy cotton. When I stand there’s a bit of wobbling, I rub my eyes and suck in a deep breath of air. “Alright, where are we going?” November is going on in the background, something about making me breakfast. Does he even know how to cook? I don’t. I almost ask if he’s actually serious about the breakfast, I am pretty hungry, but he seems in such a hurry to get outside. I’m still not awake. As the two of us head out into the cold, I grab onto the only thing that seems stable enough. I wrap my arms around November’s little waist and let him lead the way. He’s not so little really, and he’s warm.

[Micah]

Watching Maye struggle to get the large black sweater on brings me back to reality, as absolutely perfect as she looks, and as perfect as I believe her to be she isn’t. Neither am I, and no one expects me to be. Maye struggles up from the floor and stretches gasping in a large gulp of fresh air. I can tell she is freezing and I immediately feel bad for waking her up, she was the only one I was comfortable with and it’s about time I face the facts, I have a major crush on her.

At my offer to make breakfast Maye perks up and looks me in the eyes. Our eyes meet and I see a sparkle in her eye, her eyes are so beautiful. After a few seconds of eye contact I drop the gaze, did I imagine her eyes sparkling? I shake the thought of her beauty from my head and open the door letting her outside before me. The frigid air hits me like a freight train, I force my body to stop shivering and I turn to see Maye’s reaction as she puts her arms around my waist. My heart skips a beat as if I woke up from a nightmare. It’s all I can do not to fall over; I’m pulled back to reality by Maye’s chilled hands. Her hands are somewhat comparable to ice. I notice her perfectly rounded white nails; they match the rest of her, so clean and out of place looking in dreary District 6. Even the way her hair falls minutes from waking up reminds me of something that belongs in a movie.

We walk along a warn dirt path for what seems like eternities. The silence eats at me until I clear my throat, I’m sorry.. I woke you up this morning. I’ve been having these dreams lately. They keep me awake throughout the night. I couldn’t take it anymore, I needed some comfort and you were the only one I could turn to. I inhale a large breath through my nose and the scent of perfume coming off of Maye nearly makes me faint. I feel like I’m in a meadow in the spring, not here in the winter. When did she have time to end up smelling like that? Maye makes me feel subconscious about everything I’m doing, this is the major hint to me, that I fell for Maye without even knowing it.


New format, like the Pink ?

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[Rachee]

I pretend to be clueless to November’s feelings, like I don’t know what my affection does to him. It’s better this way. He’s uncomfortable, I can tell. As we make our way out of the house I can feel his body start to tense up. I don’t understand why he has to be so awkward about it. (Or maybe I do understand, I just think it’s kind of funny.) I’ve always been good at messing with guys’ hearts. It’s so easy to take a hold of them, make them think you’re head over heels in love. Just when they’ve fallen for you, that’s when you break their heart. November is one of the few that I would genuinely feel bad about hurting though. For now, I’ll just stick to innocent flirting. I won’t hurt him; I won’t let him believe that I feel the same way. I can’t let it get that far.

I almost forgot how freezing it is outside. We’re both shivering; even through my thick sweater I can feel the wind biting at my skin. November’s voice breaks the iciness around us. It must have been him that was making all that noise last night, if he says he was having nightmares. I don’t dare bring it up though. Now I feel kind of bad for treating him so coldly. I hesitantly pull out of the embrace. For a moment, I just stare at his somewhat frail figure. I try to force a smile, but it turns crooked as my brow furrows with worry. I don’t know a thing about this kid besides the fact that he was born in November. He seems scared, even now. “You okay?” I raise my eyebrow and try to look trusting. As far as he knows, he can trust me. “What kind of dreams were you having?”

[Micah]

Maye lets go of me and takes a step back. The icy wind blows her hair off her flawless face. The few feet between us seem like much more, I stare into Maye’s angelic face with a scowl on mine. It takes too long for me to finally hear Maye “You okay?” her concern is easy to see, I can hear it in her voice, or is this me imagining things for my benefit again? I take a deep breath of the frosty air. “What kind of dreams were you having?” There it is again, I’m sure she sounds concerned, she cares.

I’ve been having these weird dreams lately, like is any of this real? Or not? When I fall asleep I dream I’m alone again, there are people around me but I talk and no one hears me. When I wake up I feel like I’m in a dream, when I am dreaming it feels so real. It makes me really uncomfortable around any sort of people, I’m scared… I sound like a little kid even to myself as I finish I’m scared. It’s the truth, but I can’t help being embarrassed. I feel like I’m trying to grow into something people want me to be, but I’m to young to be what is expected of me. Does this make any sense to you?

I look up from the spot on the ground I was talking to and Maye is looking down over me. I take a deep breath, no longer wanting to be here, no longer wanting Maye, no longer wanting anyone. Nevermind… I trail off and continue walking leaving Maye’s impeccable beauty behind. I focus on a spot in the distance, I feel the tears come, but I won’t let them, not anymore.

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[Rachee]

November’s eyes are pleading, pathetic almost, as he searches me for answers. I can’t help but feel guilty for bringing up this topic of dreams. But if he didn’t ask me out here to help him, then why? Why me of all people?

Because he’s in love with you, stupid. Just look at those eyes. He’s smitten.

As much as it pains me to say it, deep down I know that this is true; the little voice in the back of my head is right. I’ve known for a while how November feels about me. I suppose this is what I always aimed for really, playing with boys’ hearts. I admit that I’ve played with his emotions. The moment I saw that look in November’s eye; the way he watched me, though I tried to ignore it, was far too far too hard to resist. A part of me knows his feelings for me are empty though; no love for me has ever been real. Men will fool themselves into thinking an attractive woman can give them everything they want. I’m an unstable, selfish human being. There is no point, I believe, in loving me.

A pretty face has only gotten me so far; I’m reminded of this as November’s lovingness fades. He looks rather hopeless now, turning away with those tears in his eyes. Has he lost faith in me already? Good, it’s better this way. The quicker he learns the better. A pang of guilt stabs me into going after him. I stumble forward and attempt to call out his name over the cold. “November.” It’s a barely a whisper, afraid of sounding too harsh. I place my hand on his shoulder and beg him to stand still. I wish I could help, but I think that I might be the problem. It wouldn’t be the first time…

"November, please, it's okay."

OOC: Kingdom Hearts reference FTW! Please tell me you did that on purpose!?

[Micah]

I’m disgusted by the way this dreary morning has started, my fiery mood matches the weather perfectly, I know I’m going to do something I’ll regret today. My hands are balled up into cold angry fists. Confusion is the first thing I feel, I’m never really angry and this burning in my chest feel threatening.

“November,” I hardly hear d Maye the first time. Her whisper barely catches my attention, I hesitate and stop walking, still looking forward into the gray cloudy distance; the sun is starting to rise. “November, please, it’s okay.” I hear Maye’s plea, I feel the alien touch of Maye’s hand on my shoulder. My hand moves Maye’s off my shoulder and drops to the side, our fingers are still interlocked, I speak barely audibly enough for myself to hear, Do you know how it feels, to fall asleep after hours awake wanting to leave, then you wake up in the same nightmare? A few angry tears coolly slide down my face. I know I’m being too harsh with Maye, it’s not her fault.

Sorry Maye. I drop her hand as I slowly walk back towards the house. let’s go, I’ll make you breakfast when we get home, sorry I woke you up, this was pointless. I pause holding my arm out, inviting Maye under it. My words sound emotionless even to me, I throw a smile on face, but I’m sure Maye will see right through the charade.

OOC: I was Museless writing that post so I listened to the Kingdom Hearts opening and had to use that, BEST GAME EVER<3

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[Rachee]

November’s mood seems to change with the weather. I watch him lash out; a pair of balled up fists to display his anger. I can see I’m not very good at calming him down, though he accepts my plea little by little. His grip loosens and I pull my hand back to examine the marks he’s made. Red imprints of November’s hand around mine; rub them away before he can see. I fall victim to the hopelessness in his voice. If I was going to feel sorry for anyone, it would be this kind and gentle version of November. He’s helpless; like a child. On this chilly morning he’s more vulnerable than most any man. I suddenly feel guilty for thinking I can take advantage of him. He trusts me too much. That just wouldn’t be fair.

Since when is love fair?

I don’t think November realizes, when he fell in love with me he put himself at risk. His affections can never be undone. From here on out I will play with his emotions, fair or not. It’ll be too hard to resist. If he needs a mother figure then that’s what I’ll be. I stop my prey in its tracks and wrap my arms around him. I won’t let him move for fear he’ll push me away. He needs me. I have to keep telling myself that. He wants this. Why else would he ask me out here? What else could I even be good for? I gently rub his back and prepare for the kill, “Its okay November. I’ve got you.”

[Micah]

Maye rubs away the imperfect marks my grip left on her flawless skin. I can’t help feeling bad about hurting her, but my anger pushes me past any pity I can feel. The little voice in head shoots degrading comments at my empty soul. Empty the word comes up again in my mind and I can’t help but run the word around my mind over and over again, empty, empty, empty The word becomes meaningless to me and like a worm crawls out of my head. I’m still determined not to open up my emotions to Maye, I keep shut up, bursting out is a rare event that I’m ashamed off. I’m sensitive and I don’t want to be. I’ve already shared enough and it hasn’t helped me at all.
Suddenly Maye embraces me and I feel her head resting against my chest, my body shivers either from the bone chilling wind, or Maye’s ice cold touch that I crave beyond control. “It’s okay November, I’ve got you” Her words hollowly bounce off my ears, I have to restrain myself from throwing her off of me, I love Maye, but I want to be alone. I can’t dear break our embrace; I’m scared I may never get to hug her again.

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