Alone <3 {Night, North}

[Deleted]

Don't you dare look out your window, Darling;
Everything's on fire.
The war outside our door keep raging on.
Hold onto this lullaby.
Even when the music's gone.
Gone.[/tt][/size]

Just close your eyes.

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It has been a week since I've heard from him. We've passed eachother in the hallways at school and act like nothing has happened.

Did anything happen? Was it just a dream? I walked into my room, which I shared with Finnit. It was morning, about six o'clock. I stood there, leaning against the doorway watching the little boy stir in his sleep. The ray of sunlight shown on his face, making his skin look porceline-like. His golden hair gleaming. I smiled as he lay there. I was tired, but there was work to be done. Oh come on Kat, a little sleep wouldn't hurt. I shrugged and walked slowly to the side of our bed, trying not to wake him. I grabbed the sheet and pulled myself into the bed, encasing Finnit in my arms. I stroked his hair and planted a kiss on his forehead.

~Flashback for Katilynna~

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It's morning.

Sunrise is overhead.

A man is walking to my bed.

He is handsome.

He climbs into bed with me.

He whispers 'Go to sleep'.

And he kisses my forhead.

Its my father.

My real father.


I winced at the images in my mind. How could I remember those times? Was it just a dream? Or was it real? I couldn't tell reality from fantasy if I tried. It was just a blur nowadays. How could I tell one day from the other? They were all just flying by so quickly. I looked back down at Finnit; I had been off in space. He was looking up at me with those brilliant blue eyes. I want kids. I want a kid just like my little adoptive brother. Beautiful and innocent. Children touched my heart in a way nothing else could. "Kitty? What's wrong?" It's surprising that even he can recognize the hurt on my face. The burden I have been placed upon. All the scars and wounds that have been forced upon me. Kat, you don't have to live here. You don't have to live this life. I looked into his eyes with my colorless gray ones and smiled, "Nothing, honey. Now, go back to sleep."[/i] The little boy looked at me with either a look of doubt, or sadness. I knew he knew. I know that he knows what's wrong witih mother, and me. But, I won't admit it to him. Ever. He's too young to be worrying about me or his mom. I'll make everything okay.

And that's the moment I decided that I was going to Quinten's.

-~*2 Hours Later*~-

"Katilynna Mae Whitlock! Where do you think you're going?"[/i] Shit. I hadn't been sneaky enough to get past her without her noticing. I could either run, or tell her exactly where I was going. "I-I'm going over to Quinten's.[/i] Dammit, I hope she doesn't flip out like last time. I stopped and turned to her. She hastily rose and walked over to me. She towered over me. To my surprise, she had actually taken a shower. Her fading blonde hair was pulled into a traditional braid. She stood in front of me with a face of sadness. "Katilynna, I don't think you're old enough to start dating.[/i] No, she can't tell me what I can and cannot do. Half the time she doesn't even know what to do. I shook my head and I felt my cheeks get hot. "Well, I'm going to. Reguardless of what you say, mother."[/i] I could tell she was shocked by the look on her face. I had never talked back to her like I just had. Well, I'm at my breaking point. "Who made you mother of this house? I'm pretty sure that rank still resides with myself."[/i] These words took me aback. No one made me mother. I accepted the fact that someone had to step up and take the role from her. This angered me. Was she really so drunk all the time that she didn't see how she was affecting her own children? "No one made me 'mother' of this house. I took over the role of raising your kids when you were out getting drunk and doing who knows what!"[/i] The longer I spoke, the louder I yelled. "And besides, they aren't even related to me! The only reason I'm here is because the Capitol placed me here so I wouldn't be a wanderer! I bet you never wanted me anyways!"[/i]

I really shouldn't have said that. It felt good though. I needed this, I needed someone to flip out on. I saw tears swelling in her eyes. I was sorry, but I wasn't going to give up. "Katilynna, do you really think I didn't want you?"[/i] She paused and her voice turned shaky. "Me and your father were overjoyed when the Peacekeepers brought you here. We'd always wanted a baby girl."[/i] "Then why do you always blame me for things that you do? Why do you get drunk more than you're sober? Just like last week with Quinten! Do you know how embarrassing that was for me!"[/i]

Tears were falling from my cheeks now. I shook my head and punched the counter. I felt my knuckles sting, then become numb. "I'll be back later."[/i] And with that, I was walking out the door, off the porch, and onto the dirt road me and Quinten had walked on exactly one week earlier. It's okay Kat. It'll get better. You'll survive. But, what if I don't want to survive? What If I just want to forget all of this and just drop dead? I walked for about thiry minutes and finally ended up in town. It was almost nine o'clock in the morning. Is this too early to knock on his door and ask for him? Where did he live? "I live in a little brick out right outside of the Hob, you can't miss it. I hope I can see you again.." That's what he had told me the day we met. Those were the last words he had spoke to me.

I steddied my walk to a slow jog. I jogged around town until I reached the Hob. Looking around, I seen many houses, but only two were made of brick. I walked towards the first one I seen and stopped by the front door. Is he home? What if he doesn't answer the door? Will they let him see me if he is? So many questions were running through my mind. I somehow gathered up the courage and knocked on the caramel-colored door. I waited a few seconds and an old, wrinkley lady opened up the door. She was small, like me. "Hello, young missy. Do you need something, dear?"[/i] Her voice was happy and warm. Is she his grandmother? I had never had the luxury of grandparents. "Uh, does Quinten live here by any chance?"[/i] The old woman giggled, "Oh no, honey. Mr. Pizzaro lives over there."[/i] She lifted a boney finger and pointed towards the other brick house right across the street. Pizzaro... That was his last name? Quinten Pizzaro. Katilynna Pizzaro... "Oh, okay, thank you Ms.... Umm.."[/i] "Mrs. Morell. And you're welcome sweetie. Oh, Quinten, that boy is such a sweetheart. He comes sometimes during the week to help me, you know."[/i] She was smiling, and I couldn't help but smiling as well. You can tell that Mrs. Morell was very fond of Quinten. "Haha, yeah. That sounds like him."[/i] Mrs. Morell walked a little bit closer to me, her steps slow but sturdy. "Now, are you his little girly-friend?"[/i] She winked at me and I laughed. "Well, I guess you could say that,"[/i] I paused and walked toward the road, "Thanks again, Mrs Morell![/i]

"You're very welcome deary! Don't you go breaking his heart!"[/i] Break his heart? How could I? "Hah, I don't plan on it!" I hurried onto the road and skipped across the street to the house that was supposedly Quinten's. It was smaller than Mrs. Morell's. I sense of panic rushed through me. Keep calm, Kat. It's okay. you'll do fine. I felt my heart begin to pump faster. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. My hands are beginning to get sweaty. Kat, don't be nervous. I walked slowly up to the mahogany-colored door. I gulped and took a step forward. Extending my right arm, I knocked on the door for what seemed like forever. No one was coming to the door, Should I knock again? I didn't even think about it, I knocked once more and waited longer this time. What if he doesn't answer?[/blockquote][/size]

[Logan]

Does, Thinks, Says, Hears

Just one week ago, I met the girl that was destined to be the person I spend the rest of my life with. Since then, she looks at me as if I was just that stranger she met by chance on that cold, depressing day. Day after day, we would pass each other in the tiny halls of the school. We glance, nod our heads, and go on with our days. I miss that day where our lips met, and we fell in love with each other. I'm starting to expect it was just a dream I was chasing, and that Katilynna just needed a shoulder to cry on for that one day. This made it harder to drag myself from my bed, and face the day ahead of me. My body lays motionless in the bed, as I look around my room. The many drawings that cover most of the walls. The newest drawing caught my eyes the most. The picture of a girl was standing on the wall, holding a child in her hand. It looked just like Katilynna and Finnit, even though I know that it was my own mother, and myself in her hands. My hands tossed the covers off of me, revealing my plaid boxer shorts. I lifted myself from the bed, and walked over to the picture recently drawn. The picture brought back too many bad memories of the past, but I managed to shield them out. The tips of my fingers ended up on my lips, and then onto the picture. Deep breathes were escaping from my mouth, as the intensity of the nightmares from last night were raiding my mind. I was prepared to crash to the ground, and cry my eyes out until they were blood shot red, but Katilynna crossed my mind. Those last words that I told the gorgeous young girl before I left. She was in my dreams every other night, overruling the nightmares that have haunted me since the day they happened. I knew deep inside Kat would not want me to cry, and I kept it bottled inside for her sake, even though she doesn't even know it.

I didn't even bother to throw on any clothing, since I wasn't expecting anyone at the house today besides my parents. The door creaked slowly open, as I stepped outside of the drawing infested room. My eyes met with a picture at the end of the wall. It wasn't just any picture, but it was a family picture. My mother, with her such elegant blonde hair put into a exquisite bun, and my father, which almost looked like an older version of me. A tear fell from my eye as I looked at the next figure, which would be my brother. We were closer then anyone would know, but now, he is serving some stuck up prick at the capitol, without even being able to speak. I shifted my focus to the stairs in front of me, clearing out any thoughts of Shalev. While stepping down the stairs, a cool feeling rushed through my body. I should of grabbed some clothes, damn. I was always at the bottom of the staircase, and I knew if I went back up, the nightmares would strike again. My eyes glanced around the tiny living room, and not a sight of life was anywhere to be seen. My parents are at their jobs, most likely. Mother is at the orphanage, and dad is down in the mines. A sigh escaped from my mouth, and I started to walk towards the kitchen. The mahogany table that separated the little 2 person couch and the box shaped television had a slip of paper on it. The only writing on it was "Dear Shalev.." My eyes popped up instantly, as I remembered something really important. THE LETTER! How could I forget the letter? My eyes shifted around the room, looking for some sort of writing utensil. I looked back down at the note, and a ink pen was sitting right beside it. My right hand grasped onto the pen. The pen felt as if it was almost out of ink. Every stroke of this pen needs to count.

I grabbed a seat on the dark brown couch. The pen top hit against the piece of paper, but I hesitated to start writing. There are so many things that have happened recently, and it will be tough to put it all on one tiny slip of paper. I let my hand decide what to do, as it started to jot down words onto the note.

Dear Shalev,

Life is starting to look up for the family now! Mom and dad have finally overcame the sickness they have had over the years, and are back at work! I don't need to work as hard as I usually do, and they are stepping up as the parents they should of been when you were around. They are out there working hard as I write this, and I couldn't be any happier. I have also met this girl, her name is Katilynna. I know how much you told me back in the days that I need to bag a beauty, and she really is! She has long, stunning locks of a combination of brown and blonde hair, and eyes that could be brighter then the sun. I really think she is the one Shalev, even though I may have just met her a week ago. I'm even going to ask her to be my gi....

The silence of my writing was interrupted with the knocking at the door. My body froze up, and a scared feeling rushed through me. It could be anyone. Dad, Mom, Mrs.Morell, or maybe even Katilynna... I was hoping it was Mrs.Morell, because she is pretty much a grandma to me. On the days where I wasn't working for the mayor, I went over to her house to assist with anything she needed. She is one of the kindest ladies in District 12, and she didn't judge me like the rest did. My mind was cleared when a second knocking was coming from the door, and I knew I was bound to answer it sooner or later. I dropped the pen on the table, and started to walk towards the door. Many things were raiding through my mind as I reached to the doorknob. Who could it be? Could it actually be Katilynna, actually believing me when I said I wanted to see her again, or possibly another face? The doorknob clicked, and the door opened. To my surprise, it was Katilynna. A look of relief rushed through my body, and I smiled. My hands almost reached out for a hug, but I noticed what I was wearing. I was practically nude, only having the plaid boxers covering up my manhood, and my face instantly turned red. My instincts took over, and I hid behind the door, feeling very embarrassed inside. A few whimpers came from my mouth, but they were slightly difficult to understand. "H-H-Hi Kat! L-Let me just get D-Dressed, and you can c-come in." After the words came out of my mouth, I rushed up the stairs to put on a shirt, or anything to cover myself up. Once I reached the top of the stairs, I noticed a pile of dirty clothing, and I knew it was my only chance. My hands grasped onto the pile, skimming through it. I ended up finding a plain white shirt, and grey pajama pants. The shirt slipped around my torso, and the pants were slightly baggy, but this was no time to be picky. I was running like a gazelle just to see Kat's eyes again, and before I knew it, I was face to face with the girl again.

My mind got lost into those eyes once again. My train of thought crashed just know she IS real, and not just some girl I dreamed up. A cheesy smile crossed my lips, as I pulled Kat into a tight hug. In a more confident tone, I whispered into her ear. "It's so nice to see you again.." My lips met to Kat's cheek, and I kissed it passionately. My grasp loosened, as the same cheesy grin was on my face. My left hand gestured her to step inside the house, and my right hand grabbed onto her right hand. I guided her to the little room in which I was writing the letter, and sat down on the couch. I quickly eyed the note, and flipped it over. Happiness was overcoming everything that just happened this morning. She DOES care about me. We COULD be a couple. My hand glides over my hair, trying to flatten it out, since I never took the time to really comb it into place. I let out a deep breathe of hope, and started to speak. "There's so much we need to catch up on Kat."

Theme Song: Wish You Were Here | Words: 1549
Other: My Other Characters

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[School is the bane of my life]

The words escape from my mouth as I blot upwards, small beads of sweat scatter across my forehead. It was all a dream, all a dream, I repeat to myself as I fling the covers off of me. The night had been filling with tormented dreams about me and the reaping. The escort calls my name, no one even thinks about volunteering. Then I was killed by career, a slow painful death filled with the bashing of a mace.

I shake my head while closing my eyes quietly, it was all a dream. I repeat one last time before I get up to get dressed. My feet meet the cold ground as I walk over to get to my clothes. What’s wrong with me? Every time the reaping comes along I seem to have these dreams. I’m sure everyone has these dreams when the reaping comes, but only the young one really do.

I comb through my black hair with my hand, why bother using a brush right now? I am just going to have to work my butt off like every day and my hair will get messed up. But maybe today something fun will come into my life, maybe I can tease a peacekeeper; that always helps. My leather satchel stands beside the hollow doorway. I clutch it tightly only to remember I have to make deliveries today.

I turn my head over to my stool; on it lays a small package. Addressed to the Pizzaro, I put it carefully in my backpack and head out to the door, tiptoeing when I near my dads room. I better get payed good for this; this is quite a walk away from where I live.

Many people are already up, mostly the mineworkers walking slowly. Their faces into a frown, who would not frown if you had to work in the mines every day? Knowing what my dad went through every day? He came home everyday swollen or bruised and I could do nothing to help. It was a sad thought that only increased with the lack of money we make.

I tracked along the road, kicking up dust as I walked along. Maybe today after I’m done work, Crawly will have some milk ready. Crawly my amazing goat that I owe part of my life to. She feeds us with milk that we bring to people to make to cheese. People in the seam can barely afford the luxuries that we get from our goat. But my dad had saved up since I was born and brought the goat so we could get some luxuries.

I can also remember the day she came home; I was sitting on the filthy porch outside staring at everyone as they ambled along. I then saw my dad walking beside an animal. I instantly peaked up and ran over to him. He smiled a deep grin through his grubby bread and showed me the goat. The goat nudged me carefully and I almost giggled myself silly. I said we should name her Curley because she had Curly fur. Ah, the carefree worries of when you were younger.

I waved casually at a friend as he walks by; he walks along side with a group of miners. He just turned 18 and he was going to start working in the mines. By the time I’m 18 I am going to have a girlfriend and we are going to run away. I have just decided this a little while ago when we were lectured in school about the mines. But the only problem would be leaving my father. He knows though, he hates this place as much as I do and he would understand.

I will sign up for the maximum amount of tessera for the last reaping that I can be in and then give it all to my dad, maybe steal a small amount of money and food from the market. That should set him for a while, and Curly will take good care of him. My emotionless face frowns at the thought of leaving both Curly and father.

I can see the home of the Pizzaro’s right up ahead, a girl stands there; a quite pretty one actually. My heart jumps up slightly at the sight of her. I stroll behind a nearby house and keep my eye on the girl. A boy comes out and greets her with a passionate kiss on the cheek, was that that Quitin? Ha, him as competition? I have a huge chance.

I stroke my hair back and lip my lips softly, I walk confidently over to the door. I knock on it two times and wait for the door to open.

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I stood in front of his house, probably longer than I should have. I sat there wondering where he could be. Or, If he really did want to see me again. Maybe this was a mistake, coming here. I felt like running. Just turning around and never coming back. That's when I felt him. I felt his arm around me, whispering in my ear softly. His chilly breath sliding along the nape of my neck. The eerie feeling sent shocks through my arms and I felt the hair on my arms stand up. I felt frozen. Like nothing in this world could break me from this stance.

'Remember Kitty, a flame cannot ignite without the power of its spark.'

-~*Are You Real?*~-

Daddy? I-is that y-you? No, it can't be you. You're supposed to be dead. You died when I was three years old.

'Oh no, my dear. It is I. I've missed you very much, my daughter.'

You aren't real... You can't be...

Are you real?


I heard footsteps coming closer, and closer. Panic began to shoot through my body and I heaerd the doorknob click and turn. Who will be on the other side of that door? Quinten? His mother? His father? Did he have siblings I didn't know about? The appiration claiming to be my father banished in an instant. The door swung open and there stood Quinten. He wasn't wearing anything but some worn plaid boxers. Instantly, his face turned red. Seeing him like this turned me on for some odd reason. After realizing what he was wearing, he sulked behind the door and whimpered. "H-H-Hi Kat! L-Let me just get d-dressed, and you can c-come in."

His voice was shaky, nervous. My eyes wandered down involuntarily. I noticed the unseemingly noticable bulge and couldn't help but smiling. I felt like being sarcastic, "What's the need for that?" Ii giggled as he bounded inside to get some clothes on. Before he returned, I felt another presence. I had always been able to tell if someone was looking my way. I winced and caught a glimpse of a figure out of the corner of my left eye. It was a boy, stocky, about my age. Dark hair. He was holding something, a package? For who? With my luck, he'll end up stopping here. He was looking at me. I think I recognize him. Lance? Oh God, what's his last name...

Quinten was back again. He was wearing a white t-shirt, obviously stained from coal dust. Was it his fathers? Did he wear it after a long, hard week in the coal mines? His pajama pants looked really comfortable. They looked as if they were made of cotton, which was a rare find here in District 12. He had been panting, but, trying to hide it. I smiled at the sight of him, completely forgetting about the boy named Lance. Lance had often thought he was irressistable. After all, the girls at school worshipped him. I, however, were one of the very few who didn't. I'm not sure if he knew that or not. A smile rose upon Quinten's lips and I felt his warm, welcoming arms tight around me. I could stay here forever. He whispered in my ear once more, his breath fresh as mint, "It's so nice to see you again.." He moved his head backwards and I felt his lips touch my cheek tenderly. I wonder if Lance is still watching... The tight embrace ended and I pulled back, only to catch him smiling at me again. I let out a hearty giggle and his brilliant blue eues met mine. Quinten grabbed onto my left hand and walked me to a tiny room where he sat comfotably on the couch. Before I took it upon myself to sit down beside him, I seen him turn over a piece of paper. Is it a letter? To who? We certainly had no way of sending letters; we had no money for it.

"There's so much we need to catch up on Kat."

[/color] I didn't really feel much like talking. It was just one of those days, you know? I teetered myself over to the small couch and plopped down beside him. He seemed nervous, so to make him feel a little bit more comfortable, I lifted my legs onto the couch. With my arms, I wrapped them around my knees. I felt like reaching my body over and kissing him. "It's been a long time... It was beginning to feel like a dream."[/i] I paused for a second, digging deep for the right words to say to him. Before they came, my instincts came over me. I flung my arms from my knees to his neck and kissed his lips feverishly. Then, the lip-locking was ceased when I heard a knocking on the door. Oh, shit. I bet it's Lance. I quickly assumed my position on the other side of the couch and felt rather rude for what I had done.

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[Logan]

Does, Thinks, Says, Hears

My mind was getting overwhelmed with what was happening. Kat does exist, she IS real, she DOES love me. Or at least I think she does. What I would have given to have her back in my arms, and now, she is actually back. We both got situated on the couch, and it got quiet. The coal dust covering the white shirt on my torso was making me feel a little queasy inside, but I tried to ignore it. It seemed as if Katilynna did not notice the note sitting on the table, and I was glad she didn't. If she asked about it, I would have to take forever explaining it, and I wouldn't get enough time to spend with her. I was starting to think I needed to make the first move, but then Katilynna put herself in a ball-like position. She looked like she was about to hop on me and start kissing me, so I was prepared for just about anything. Her sweet genuine voice started to speak, that same voice I have been craving to hear for so long. "It's been a long time... It was beginning to feel like a dream." Those words were so wisely chosen, because I felt exactly the same. The time we met, and fell in love seemed like a fairytale in itself. It's not everyday that you just run into someone and instantly fall in love in the blink of an eye, but I guess I was luck enough to have that happen to me. Kat's facial expressions told me that she was deep in thought. My lips were craving to combine back with mine, and to just have that spark that has been dying since the day we split. My mind was telling me to make the move, but Kat beat me to it. The spark was reignited at the moment our lips met once more, but something had to overrule it. It sounded like knocking, but who would be here at this time? Most people were at the factories or just starving. I didn't want to, but I had to let go of Katilynna and her silk lips, and see what it was.

Katilynna's reaction was unexpected. She cringed to the other side of the couch, and looked like there would be a murderer on the other side of the door. My eyebrow raised when Kat did this. What is wrong with her? My body shifted up, and made it's way to the door. The only reason I could think that Kat would be scared is if it was her mother. I knew once I met her mother that Kat must of been through so much in her life. Her mother is a sloppy drunk, and as Kat told me, she pretty much raised the children herself. I didn't expect this person behind the door when I opened it. It was a young man, maybe a year or two older then me, standing there. He was a few inches taller then me, and he had a package in his hand. He looked familiar, like someone I have seen at school. I think his name is Lance? The heart throb that all those desperate girls want? My eyes glared up at the package in the boy's hand. My father did tell me that he ordered some parts for some new machine at the mines. I gave a friendly smile, and tried to be friendly with this new person. "I'm assuming these are the parts for my father?"

Theme Song: Wish You Were Here | Words: 588
Other: My Other Characters

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[School is the bane of my life]

[[ Photo to be put in ]]

Love was a thing that not many in District 12 had. Love was something that held the bond between a couple, a bond between a father and son. Or it can even be as simple as love between a boy and his animal; just like me and Curly. Love was a word not spoken as by many people in the poorer districts, I don’t even think love is around between the older districts. For 1, 2 and 4, love might be the bond one might share to make a killer career. In poorer district love is something that people use for comfort or more food, lots of time it does not mean anything.

But unlike Quinten and Katilynna they had true love, and that was something that could be easily torn apart. Torn apart like a wild animal eating his prey. And would me, Lance Sector be the one to do it? Why would I, it was not like I was jealous that Quinten had Katilynnas. All the other girls are just so easy to flirt with. To make them believe that I like them when I just flirt but Katilynnas was different.

Every time I flirted with her, I got nothing back. This was also before Quinten got to her. I would try and try everything I knew, but she would not budge. But how? She was a strong person that could not be easily flirted with. But remember that can always change in a blink of an eye.

"I'm assuming these are the parts for my father?" I nodded my head and ran a hand through my hair as he took the package away. So that is what is was? Well I would have never guessed. It was not that common for people to order spare parts unless they worked with them. And to be honest I never knew of what Quinten worked with or if he even had a dad. All I knew is that he was the boy who had Katilynna and I did not.

Now for some way for me to stay? That would be easy, he has to sign some papers; that should give me some time. But what to say in front of her? That was the hard one. If I only knew it would be so much easier. Should I try to get him angry or should I take it slow and just flirt with her. All these unanswered questions running through my head was hard to handle. I need to decide on something and I need to decide on it fast.

I dug into my cluttered mess that was my bag and grasped a piece of paper and a stubby pencil that looked like it could break at any second. I waited for him to put away the package and then gave him the pencil and paper.

“You have to sign this, the person your dad ordered it from needs to know the family got it or I will be in deep trouble,” I took a moment to pause and then decided on what I was going to say.

“So Quinten, how did you get a girl like Katilynna?” I asked with a smirk on my face, that should get him annoyed and Katilynna blushing. Prefect.