.you're [sick] of [feeling] numb. [semper]

[pika]

80c31c | ff7900 | a89166

Elixir was drunk.

That was nothing new. His sobriety is nothing more than a distant memory, only found in the most profound parts of Elixir's mind. More than half of his days were spent drunk, because lately the pain had become unbearable. He wasn't even sure what caused the most pain, or what he should be saddest about. His sadness was balled into one, huge amalgam, and the individual events were no longer distinguishable. Alcohol was just the buffer; it softened the edges and made the pain more bearable, but it never completely eradicated it.

It was barely noon, and Elixir was flat-out wasted. His tolerance for alcohol had gone way up since he first began to indulge in it, and he was easily able to control himself when it was in his system. Still though, his words came out a bit slurred, and his gait was a bit wobbly. Dressed in clean pants and a slightly ruffled button-up shirt, Elixir was ambling his way into town. He had this bar-more or less- that he usually went to, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to enter that dark, dusky place today. It only mirrored how he felt inside, and he wanted a different vibe. He wanted to stay out in the sunshine today, because sunshine was one of the few pure things in life that Elixir rejoiced in. It will almost always be there, warming up the earth and providing food and warmth and life.

The sun licked at his skin as he drunkenly meandered through the streets, half observing the things going on around him. The alcohol blurred his peripheral vision, so his vision was pretty much set straight ahead. But again, he was used to it. Not used to the pain; he would never get completely used to that. You didn't learn to accept pain and move on, you just learned to live with it as an obstacle.

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[semper]

Devroux Southern-Hymn Creighton

Really, I needed to leave District one. I had been here for far too long, and some people here even had Avox servants, so if I was caught, they'd send me back off to the Capitol to be beaten and bossed around. Oh, how I missed Luk. He was so good to me... I honestly don't think there's a master quite like him anywhere else. He actually let me go so I could find Lily and Colton -- and not just let me go, but he pretty much escorted me all the way to D5. I don't care what Luke says, he'll always be Master to me. A good master, too. I hope he's doing alright. Maybe I could sneak into the Capitol at some point and see him, but that's probably a bad idea. I'd get caught faster than I can think "oh my Ripred."

Unconsciously, I lift my hands as I'm walking down the street and examine my wrists. The scars were unmistakable: wide, dark colored scars running across my wrists. One was intentional -- that had been when I cut my wrist in the DC and painted on the wall with my own blood. Makes me wonder if the stain is still there. The other obvious scars were from handcuffs. When Luk bought me, the Peacekeepers had put handcuffs on really tight and they irritated my skin so bad that I bled, and not to mention the Peacekeepers pretty much starved me. Also pretty much had a heart attack when a.... a "car," I think it was, started yelling at me. Or honking, as Luk had said. Craziest thing I've ever seen in my l-

I ran into someone, knocking my shoulder against them and making me twist sideways. A short gasp came from me as my eyes shot up, seeing a man a mere foot or so beside me. 'Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, he's gonna find out.' Panic held me and I stand absolutely frozen in place, a look of horror on my face as I stare at him with wide eyes. 'He can't find out, oh Ripred, if he finds out I'm screwed.'

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[pika]

80c31c | ff7900 | a89166

Alcohol continued to make its way flowing through Elixir's body, sloshing in his stomach and making him feel a bit sick. The sun blared into his eyes, only hindering his already-limited vision even further. There was still snow, but it was a peculiar day and it was warm, especially for January. Elixir never felt weather anyway, partly to do with the alcohol and partly to do with him just having an immunity to harsh climates. Many faces breezed by, some smiling at Elixir as he passed by, others giving him a look of disapproval as they realised that he was intoxicated.

Someone smacked into Elixir, and he stumbled back suddenly. Not that the blow was strong or anything, but Elixir was intoxicated and taken by surprise. He staggered back a step, whirling around to take a gander at the source. He was tall, lean, but muscular at the same time. His eyes were just as colourful as Elixir's, deep and full of things to say. At present they mirrored a look of panic, as if he had hoped more than anything at that moment that the contact with Elixir had not happened. His hair was a bit wild in the slight breeze, and he looked genuinely panicked.

Elixir looked him over, confused as to why he was so nervous at a minuscule accident. "Hey man, it's okay. Don't freak out." Words slurred, but not badly indistinguishable. He gave a slight, reassuring smile, and gazed at him, taking him in. He was good-looking, but then again, so was every guy to Elixir. Man, this guy needs a drink, Elixir thought to himself subtly. He looked down at the bottle he gripped tightly in his hands, as if it were a lifeline; in a way, it was. The one thing that kept everything glued together, the sole object that Elixir could put his full trust into and not be betrayed, was alcohol. He held out the bottle and shook it a bit, feeling the liquid slosh around. An offering to the stranger.

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[semper]

Devroux Southern-Hymn Creighton

I couldn't answer. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. You know, just about the worst possible thing you could do to calm someone down is to tell them to calm down. I'm an Avox in District One! How could I not panic?! I couldn't get sent back to the DC, not when I'm so far with the Uprising and in the wild goose chase of finding Lily and my little boy. I couldn't waste the time pacing behind bars again. Who knows who I would be the cellmate of, anyway. Perhaps a mass murderer, or someone who despises Avoxes... that wouldn't end well.

But there was something about this guy.... he reeked of alcohol. His words were slurred and he gave me a grin. I could swear he's drunk, but I don't know. I've never been drunk so I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. My eyes watch him as he lifts a bottle up, holding it there. It didn't look like there was much left, so I could only assume that he was a bit sluggish in terms of thinking. My eyes lift their gaze back up to his face, examining it. He looks a bit like me in terms of hair color, but since he lives in D1, so he appeared much more well taken care of. Me, on the other hand, I was scrawny, but so was the rest of Panem. It was only people like this guy here that appeared healthy.

My gaze returns to the bottle in his hand. Should I take it? Before I realize it, my hand reaches out and takes it from him, bringing it up to my nose to sniff it. The aroma is harsh, making my nose feel like it was burning. But the longer I held it, the more I began to realize how thirsty I was. Eh, I don't care if this guy has any oral disease, so I just place it to my lips and drink some of it, my nose scrunching up as the awful taste filled my mouth. I may not have a tongue, but something as bitter as beer I can still taste. I had difficulty swallowing, of course, and shaking my head to try to clear away the awful taste, I hand the bottle back to him, giving a low, rumbling growl in response for the bitterness.

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[pika]

80c31c | ff7900 | a89166

Elixir smiles contently as he accepts his alcoholic offering. He jerks the bottle back, only hesitating a moment before placing it in his mouth. Elixir notices that he has a bit of difficulty swallowing the drink, as if he had never had a swig before. His hair swishes a tad as his head jerks back.

He finishes the last swig of the bottle, and hands the bottle back over. He growls, a low rumbling sound that is almost inaudible. He examines the bottle in his hands for a moment, taking in the shape, the colour, the feel of the glass in his hands. It's such a natural thing to see in his grasp, but it doesn't feel right. It belongs there, but at the same time it doesn't.

He glances back at the stranger, noticing him staring at Elixir intently. Elixir is not sure whether to feel flattered or slightly creeped out. He twirls the bottle in his hands, and stares back at the boy. It's like a stand off between the two of them, like those old, stereotypical Western-film scenes where the hawk cries and flies overhead, and the sun beats down intently, except maybe that the whole scene between Elixir and the stranger really isn't as intense as those old scenes. But you get the picture.

Elixir finally decides to break the ice. "Why haven't you spoken, yet?" He asks, innocently. The stranger's eyes flicker as he asks the question, and panic flares up once more.

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[semper]

Devroux Southern-Hymn Creighton

I wait for the guy to take the bottle back, and when he does, he asks the worst question imaginable: Why haven't you spoken yet? I feel all the blood drain from my face, leaving it pale. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. What I was going to tell him? I'm an Avox, obviously I can't answer. I don't have any paper or writing utensils with me either, so I'm stuck.

Since I can't answer, I just offer him a stupid, toothy grin, being sure to hide the fact that I don't have a tongue. Hopefully he would take the gesture as an answer and then he would just be quiet and not question him anymore. Please don't ask me anything else, please don't... The smile on my face neutralizes and I glance back down at the bottle in his hand. Come to think of it, that beer, or whatever it is, tastes kind of good as an aftertaste. I lightly bite down on my lower lip, lift my gaze back up to the guy's eyes, down at the bottle, and then back up at his eyes, trying to hint at him that I wanted to have some more.


((Dunno what else to put. xD they need to get drunk nao ))

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[pika]

80c31c | ff7900 | a89166

The stranger provides Elixir with a large, dorky grin. It's natural, not forced out. But as soon as it appears on his face, it leaves just as quickly. His face falls back into normality, with no indication of emotion. His eyes travel to the bottle in Elixir's hands, and then back up to his chestnut-brown eyes, and then back down to the bottle again.

"You want more?" Elixir asks, slightly snickering and slightly amused. It's not everyday you find a person who wants more of the stuff in that bottle. Usually it's too potent for their liking. Elixir looked down at the sad, empty bottle, and then grinned while looking up. "I can get you some more." He knew that the bartender at the shack of a bar would gladly provide Elixir and his new "friend" with some more. He always did.

Elixir stared at the boy in front of him. What his problem was, Elixir didn't know, but his awkward lack of speech was somewhat comforting. Nobody was trying to interrogate him about the alcohol for once, and nobody was trying to tell him that his life was worthless and it would go nowhere if he continued to live it like he was now. Silence was golden. For once, Elixir agreed with somebody.

"Follow me," Elixir said, and then turned around back in the direction where he was headed before the collision with Stranger. I'll call him Stranger for now, Elixir thought. Shoot, maybe I'll always call him that. Snow crunched beneath their feet as they paved their way through it, on their way to the bar. It loomed over them within a matter of minutes, and the shadows that it produced made the surrounding snow seem less beautiful, less elegant. Elixir pushed open the door, and it produced its usual, eerie creak. He stepped in, and his eyes took a moment to adjust to the dim inside.

He glanced over to the makeshift bar- it was really just a piece of wood wedged between two walls- and saw the old bartender. For as long as Elixir could remember, he had always been there, always been serving the residents of District Five alcohol. He staggered over to the bar, plopped down on a rickety seat, and knocked on the wood with his fist. The old man came over quickly, frowning at first but then smiling when he realised who had created the noise.

"Elixir! A pleasure, as always. What can I get for you?" He asked, subtly glancing over at Stranger, who loomed next to Elixir.

"The usual, sir. But make it two this time: one for me, and one for my friend here." The bartender quickly produced two dusty glasses of thick, amber substance. Elixir slid over one to Stranger, and then downed the other one in one loud gulp.

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[semper]

Devroux Southern-Hymn Creighton

When he asks me if I want more, I simply nod. Sure, the liquid had a bitter and awful taste at first, but the longer it settled on my tongue, the better it began to taste. And not to mention, it made me realize just how thirsty I really am. Once the liquid had hit my throat, it was like a switch was flipped and I was craving the alcohol. I need something to drink, and I can probably just get this guy to get me some.

He says to follow him and I trail behind him into this bar-looking place. To be honest, I've never been in a bar before. The smell of alcohol hits me like a brick in the face as soon as I step through the door. It's not too pleasant, but I can deal with it. The guy goes and sits at a bar stool, and for a moment I hesitate, eventually following and sitting down beside him. He says a few words and soon the bartender brings both of us a drink and the stranger slides me a tall glass of beer, I think it is. My hand reaches out and pulls it closer to me, and I bring it up to my nose to smell it. The scent is strong and bitter, but hey, it's a drink. Turning to the stranger, I lift my glass to him and give him a small nod in appreciation, then I put it to my mouth and drink it as fast as my slow swallowing ability will allow me, setting the glass back down on the bar once it's empty. Damn, it feels good to finally have something to drink even if it's bitter.

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[pika]

80c31c | ff7900 | a89166

The warmth of the liquid slid down Elixir's throat as he downed the glass. Alcohol provided Elixir something that the regular day could not: warmth, comfort, security, a feeling of safety. The haze that alcohol gave to a person meant to Elixir that he was unharmed, that nothing could touch him if he didn't want it to. It was all he could do to not reach over and take the glass from Stranger's hands and down it himself.

Elixir motioned for the bartender to come close again, and without directly looking at him, he asked him for two more glasses with a flick of two fingers. The bartender left for a moment, and then arrived again with two identical glasses, dusty, chipped, and probably not washed, brimming with the thick, golden liquid. He passed one down to Stranger, and then downed the next one as quickly as the first.

He watched Stranger with interest as he examined his drinks. He seemed to be just as experienced a drinker as Elixir. He downed them with ease. Elixir wondered why he hadn't spoken yet. He had certainly given him things to talk about, things to reply to. But yet, he remained in his shield of silence, not giving up anything. Surely something had to come out of those lips...

Elixir shot his chair back suddenly and took Stranger's head in his hands. He pressed his lips to his, softly at first, and then more intently. It had been so long since Elixir had had the company of another person. His fling with Daniel seemed to be ages ago, and Elixir hadn't seen him in over a year.

No tongue.

No tongue in his mouth. It just didn't exist. Elixir pulled back suddenly, a look of shock beginning to appear on his face. How could he not? Everyone had one. Elixir looked at him with concern, gripped Stranger's wrist tightly, and dragged him outside, to the back of the bar. The sun was setting, but the pinks and purples sketched in the sky still provided enough light for a good view of his surroundings. Elixir narrowed his eyebrows and took a step forward.

"You're an Avox? Where did you come from?" Elixir didn't know how Stranger was going to answer that, but he better figure out a way, and quickly.

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[semper]

Devroux Southern-Hymn Creighton

This guy, Elixir, gets the bartender to come and get us both another drink, and as soon as it hits the table in front of me, I snatch it up and drink it as fast as an Avox can. Without a tongue, swallowing is much harder, but being dehydrated does you wonders and I found that the glass was already empty when I look at it again. With a mournful sigh I set the glass down and stare at it as if it'll somehow magically refill itself.

I'm unaware of anything going on around me until someone grabs my face and forcefully turns it. I see Elixir right in front of me, and then really right in front of me. He kisses me. I'm caught way, way, way off guard. The kiss is soft at first, but then it gets more rough. Again, I'm just frozen stiff, my brain going haywire because I have no idea what the hell is going on. Why is he kissing me?! The longer it goes on, though, the more my thoughts begin to sort out. I'm kissing a boy - and I kinda like it. It's a good bit different than kissing a girl, though I've only kissed one girl. But kissing a guy... it's more passionate because it's exotic, in a way. Kinda like things are better when they're forbidden. Not that homosexuality is forbidden, no; just that you don't see it very often. And that's what makes it feel so much better an-- oh my good Ripred his tongue is in my mouth. Elixir's tongue is in my mouth. My initial instinct is to jerk away, but he has his hands on my face so I can't move. Not that I'd want to, anyway; Elixir's kinda hot, both literally and metaphorically.

When Elixir pulls away, I'm left staring awkwardly at him, my eyes wide with confusion and bewilderment. But that doesn't last for very long because he grabs onto my wrist and hauls me out of the bar and around to the back -- oddly similar to the way Luke had dragged me out of another bar. Although, unlike Luke, Elixir doesn't give me a packet of drugs. He asks me two simple questions instead: if I'm an Avox and where I'm from. I hesitantly nod to the first one, then reach into my pocket and pull out a small notepad and pen to write down my answer.

I'm from all over, but D11 originally.

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[pika]

Elixir watched with a hint of disbelief as Stranger wrote fiercely on a pad of people, which he whipped out almost as if he had planned this whole thing would happen. He flashed the pad toward Elixir, and he strained his eyes to look at the light font on the page in the darkening light

I'm from all over, but District 11 originally.

Elixir glanced back at the boy, not able to believe that this boy had traveled so far, from District 11 to District 5. What was in District 5 that he could want, anyway? If anything, a normal person would set their sights on the Career Districts, or the Capitol if they were brave enough.

Alcohol still reeling in his body, his vision was blurred and twirling. He blinked profusely, hoping that the dizziness would fade if he could just blink it away. But years of experience had rendered him a pro at drinking, and he was able to keep himself upright and somewhat still. He let out a laugh, one filled with disbelief but also with hints of entertainment. This was surely the best thing that had happened to Elixir in a long while, or at least the most entertaining occurrence.

"Wow, okay. Um. What's your name? Why are you here, in District 5 of all places? I could think of a million other places besides this dump. Why are you an Avox?" Elixir spluttered out a stream of questions, unable to contain himself. He had so many questions that needed to be answered, but the fact that this boy could not speak was a major hindrance to the conversation. The boy could not write as fast as his questions were asked.

[semper]

Devroux Southern-Hymn Creighton

As I hold out the notepad, I watch his facial expression change to one of disbelief. What's unbelievable? I don't understand. Maybe it's the fact that there's an Avox - not to mention a masterless Avox - here in D5, or maybe he was just drunk. There's no telling how many beers he had before I got there, so he probably has more alcohol in his system than blood right now.

And here come the questions. I take the notepad back and then start writing my answers.

My name is Devroux. I was just passing through when I bumped into you. This is about my fourth time here in D5. I'm an Avox because of a series of unfortunate events.

[/blockquote]
There's no way I'm going to go into detail about my personal life with this stranger, so maybe I'd tell him later. But not now. All I know of him is his name and that he likes alcohol. Huh. His questions were coming in rapid fire mode and my hand couldn't write fast enough. I held up a hand to signal that he needed to slow down so I can at least write legibly, and then I show it to him. After a few moments, not really caring if he had enough time to read it or not, I scribble down a question of my own.

You're Elixir, right? And you're not a drug dealer, are you?

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Okay, maybe the last question was a bit blunt, but after my past experience with a drug dealer, I just have to ask. I didn't want to get high again; I'd much prefer to get drunk.



((Bad post, sorry. D: ))

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[pika]

Stranger scribbles madly on the pad of paper, curving and striking and dotting with the pen. The handwriting is chickscratch, messy and almost illegible, but still it's unlike any calligraphy Elixir has seen before. He flashes the pad to Elixir's face, a look of worry and rush on his face.

My name is Devroux. I was just passing through when I bumped into you. This is about my fourth time here in D5. I'm an Avox because of a series of unfortunate events.

As quickly as it was revealed it's gone again, and he creates more words. It's almost as if this is how he's communicated his whole life, as if the speed and urgency he writes with is ingrained in his way of life.

You're Elixir, right? And you're not a drug dealer, are you?

The words made Elixir snicker a bit, and combined with the presence of alcohol in his bloodstream, he began to hiccup.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance, Devroux," Elixir hiccuped, and he laughed some more at the irony of how "acquaintance" was the wrong word to have used. "And no, I am not a drug dealer. Although I do tend to abuse the alcohol a tad." His laugh was once again accompanied by a hiccup.

"But tell me now, Devroux, since you still haven't answered the question. Out of all the places you could go, why District Five? There's nothing special here."

[semper]

Devroux Southern-Hymn Creighton

Elixir snickers and I nod to return his greeting. And thankfully he wasn't a drug dealer. That powder crap burns your nose like crazy. I can deal with alcohol, but not drugs. I must've downed the drink faster than I had anticipated because I found myself hiccuping along with him. Huh, now that I think about it, my vision does seem a little bit hazy on the edges...

He then asks me a very personal question, and I'm very hesitant to answer. You don't just go around telling your problems to everyone who asks, but with the alcohol starting to hit my system, I didn't really think before I started scrawling out an answer.

I'm looking for someone, but that can wait.

My handwriting has gotten sloppier and my mind is getting more sluggish. I show him the notepad again, letting my hand drop back down to my side after a few moments. Now that I look at him, he really does seem a big young. Maybe he's my age, maybe not. I doubt he wasn't very much older - hell, maybe he was even younger. Well, I kind of felt a bit of odd when that thought hit me, but eh, who cares? I don't. Or maybe I do, I don't know. All I know is that the childish look I think his face has is kind of attractive. Or maybe that's the alcohol in me.

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[pika]

Looking for someone, Elixir thought. Nobody of particular importance or extraordinary qualities lived in District Five: who could he be looking for here? District Five was one of the odd ones out, stuck in the middle; not too poor, but not too wealthy either. Not completely ignored, but the Careers always came first, ever-more-important than the rest.

But even so, Elixir liked to think he knew more people in District Five than the majority of the people who lived there with him, and chances were he probably had at least heard of the name of the person Devroux was looking for. He didn't like to admit it, but Elixir got around more than a boy his age normally should.

"Who are you looking for? I'd probably know them, to be honest," if Elixir didn't know who Devroux was looking for, then it would be quite the awkward scenario, wouldn't it? Boasting the knowledge he had of the residents of the District, and then not be on terms with the person he was looking for. "and even if I don't, I could help you look for them..." the offer trailed off Elixir's lips, bumbling and maladroit. The proposition was out now, and he couldn't take it back. Elixir supposed that if he had said it to Devroux in the first place without hesitation, he truthfully did mean it.