The Final Goodbye [Kendall]

[Raseri]

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By the time we arrive at the Justice Building, I’m spent. My head is aching along with the rest of my body, and I’m so darn tired I could take a nap right on the sidewalk. My throat is raw from screaming so much. Why can’t I just go home? Why can't I lie in my own bed, or eat a nice meal with my mom and dad?

There is no home for me anymore.

It's the cold hard truth. From now on, the closest thing to home will be the train, the capitol, the training center, and in the end, the arena. I'll never return to District Seven, to my own bed, to my favorite oak tree. I'll never hear my parents' voices again, or my buddies', or Paisley's. From now on, I'll be alone.

I'm going to die alone.

I'm led into the justice building by two large and burly peacekeepers, both of which are dressed in bright white uniforms. They practically carry me into a small room with navy blue wallpaper and a bright yellow, beat-up leather couch. Someone really needs to hire an interior decorator. And a housekeeper would do them some good too, I think as the dust in the room makes me sneeze loudly.

What am I doing in here? Are they going to interrogate me or something? I sink into the right end of the couch, grateful for a place to rest. I don't think they brought me here so I could take a nap, though. And then it hits me. This is where I say my final goodbyes.

As I wonder who I'll get to see first, the door opens and shuts with a click. I don't know what to say, but I don't need to. I run into my mother's open arms and hug her tightly, burying my face into the crook of her neck like I did when I was little. I don't care if it's silly, and I don't care that I'm three inches taller than her. What matters is that she's here. With me.

No one can seem to think of the right words, so we both just stand there looking at each other. But her eyes say it all. "Drew," she finally says, sitting down on the couch with me and taking my face in her hands. "I want you to know... that if I had any money, I'd bet it all on you. And even... even if you don't win... your father and I will still be proud of you." I could by her face that she seemed to think she had said the wrong kind of thing. Her eyes brimmed with tears. One of the peacekeepers looked at his watch, and I knew I didn't have much time left. "I love you, baby. Don't ever forget that, okay?"

I lean forward and hug her again. I don't trust my trembling voice enough to tell her anything too long in reply, so all I can croak out over the lump in my throat is, "I love you too, mom." Hot tears threaten at my eyes, but I won't let them fall. I won't let her worry any more. She bursts into tears and sobs hysterically, and I shush her consolingly, telling her it will be all right. I pat her back, knowing that I'm lying, that nothing will be all right.

When the peacekeeper grabs my mother's arm and pulls her towards the door, she lets out a wail, too busy sobbing to choke out anything else. I put my head in my hands and try to calm my raging headache. Why didn't I say something else? I slam my fist on the arm of the plush yellow couch, frustrated. That was the last time I would ever see my mom, and all I said was 'I love you.' God, why am I so stupid?

I'm so wrapped up in my headache and my frustration that it takes about ten seconds for my brain to process the sound of the door opening one last time. I look up and my heart jumps.

Paisley.

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[kendall]

paisley anna summers,

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ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAR FACE, WORN OUT PLACES, WORN OUT FACES

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Only minutes I have. Only minutes until I never see the one face I yearn to see everyday again. Only minutes I have to say goodbye to my love and watch him get torn to pieces by who knows what. Only minutes until the world I used to know comes crashing down on me. Everything changes once I walk out of the door. No more love, no more sitting up in the favourite oak tree to comfort me. But I feel this is going to affect him in the games.

That is the last thing I want to do.

I was actually planning on not coming to say goodbye. After my freak out at the reaping I told my self it would be too much for him. Too much for both of us. I knew he wasn't going to try, I don't want to see him cry. To be honest in all the get up, I have never seen him cry. I have always been the one to always break down crying and he hold me tight, whispering I am beautiful in my ear. But this time, it's my turn to do the comforting while he cries to me. Or we can take turns. 

The moment Drew and Jana Hale left the stage, people started to rejoice that there children were spared for another year. The Cumberland and Hale family disappeared in an instant. I know my family will not be celebrating Paige and I were spared. My mother will be praying to God he wins or that I wont break down if he doesn't. I promised myself I wouldn't freak out like I did at the reaping anymore. But I am not good at keeping promises to myself. I promised myself never to fall for Drew and look were I am now. Falling head over heals and crashing hard.
 
I made my way to the justice building - yearning to the peacekeepers to let me have the limited spots to get in to see out district male tribute. They laughed at me. Mocking my emotions as I pass. The men look serious when I passed but they mocked me from behind. Peacekeepers must think I am stupid to think I didn't know they were mocking me. It was obvious. I was just worth their time to mock.

Just as I arrive at his room, I catch a glimpse of Mrs. Cumberland sobbing hysterically, crying for her baby, being pushed out the door by to serious peacekeepers. I reach out, trying to call her name but my voice fails me. Was it because I didn't know what to say? What was I going to say to Drew? I have so many things to tell him. So many thing I wish I could tell him.

My voice can't fail me. Not now.[/i]

The men ask me my name casually, marking it down. I am pretty sure to make my life heck, just in case he makes it far or even wins the Hinger Games. The men tell me my time limit and shove me in the room. It was dusty and quite stodgy. Defiantly on the top ten worst places of District 7. It means death. I was about to yell at them to keep their hands to themselves when my eyes meet Drew's.

"Oh Drew!"[/b] I shriek, running towards him. Wrapping my hands around his neck I whisper to him. A soft whisper. I try to be positive but he will know it's only a pall covering my despair for him underneath. "I tried."[/b] I say, bearing my face in his neck. "I tried to be with you. The girl wouldn't give her spot..."[/b] My tears begin to give off tears I have been trying to hold back this whole time. I wipe it away, looking into his beautiful face.

"I love you more then you will ever know. I will be so proud of who ever you turn out to be."[/b]I say, looking at him, dancing the tips of my pale fingers down his cheek. I move the strand of dark-hair that escaped from his neatly gelled hair. "I love that I know I will always have you".[/b] This is the hardest conversation I have ever had with him before. He is usually the easiest person to talk to. I always know what to say. Now I don't know what to say. This is my last moment with him and I don't want it to ever end. 

Ever.

I take out a small sculpture of a bird on a strip of leather I made. It was a delicate little thing with patterns and designs carved into the hardened clay. It was painted vibrant, exotic colors. He taught me how to do such things. At first he tried with wood and a knife but my hands were made for sculpting clay not knifes against wood. It reminded me of us when I looked at it. People might think I am crazy but it means something to me.

"Can this be your token?"[/b]I ask, grabbing his hand to place it in it. Looking up from his hand I force a smile to try to lift the sadness from his brown eyes. I hated seeing him so sad. It hurt me to see him like this.

"I made it. I was going to give it to you after the reaping, but..."[/b]
I pause, my eyes have a painful expression which I can't speak anymore about it or I might loose myself. The necklace, I turn in his hands, at the bottom has a line of words in the base of it's fine belly going up the sides.

I will forever hold you close

"So you always have me."[/b] 

I smile lovely up at him, folding it up in his hands. I carved this from the very tree we met at. The very tree I kiss him an later carved I love Drew in. The best part I didn't reveal. It was a locket. If you press the embossed border around the wording it opens up. Inside is a picture of me and him wen we were ten. We both look silly our faces scrunched up because of the sun. Behind that it a photograph of us only a few weeks ago, me kissing him on the cheek as he smiles. My two favourite pictures. On the other side is a tiny, beat up index card from when I was 10 and I figured out I loved him. It was a letter which I wrote why I loved him and how I knew. At the end I wrote a little message underneath my name in my 10 year old cursive. It's gotten much better - more styled so he will know what it is.

I didn't tell him because I wanted him to find out by himself. When he really needed the lifter.

We have only ten minutes to tell each other what we mean to each other. I could go on for eternity. I have to squeeze my delicate words into how minutes now?

"Never forget me."[/b] I say, a tear rolling down my face. This time I don't wipe it away. 

[OOC: D: only this RP until they never c each other again!! Let's make this memorable

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IT'S A VERY, VERY, MAD WORLD!
THE DREAMS IN WHICH IM DYING ARE THE BEST I HAVE EVER HAD.
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[Raseri]

"Oh, Drew!" Paisley wails, throwing her arms around my neck and nearly knocking me back onto the couch. I hug her back, wrapping my arms around her and resting my chin on the crown of her head. For a moment, it's just like a normal day. Paisley gets upset, and I comfort her. That's just how it works; I'm generally the level-headed and strong one who doesn't get upset, and Paisley is, well, the mess. Not that I don't love her, but that's just the way she is.

She digs her face into my neck, muttering something that I don't entirely catch. Something about trying, and a girl with spots? Or a girl with one spot? And she wanted to be with me? I seriously can't think of anything that has to do with Paisley and a spotted girl that would be relevant to our situation. But after thinking about it for a while, I realize what she had been saying.

She had tried to volunteer... just so she could be
with me?

[/i]

"No, Paisley, you can't," I mutter into her hair, noticing the sweet smell of her shampoo. Even though it's over, and she can't change anything anyway. "It wouldn't be worth it. We'd both die, or maybe end up having to kill each other. What good would that do?" I know it doesn't matter anymore because the Reaping is over, but the fact that she had tried to volunteer still bothers me. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if she volunteered just so I wouldn’t be alone.

"I love you more then you will ever know. I will be so proud of who ever you turn out to be." she tells me, stroking my cheek and pushing back my dark brown hair. I can tell she's close to tears. "I love that I know I will always have you." It’s a little strange to think that only about a month ago, we weren’t anything more than best friends. Now she was telling me how much she loved me. It all happened kind of quickly. And now, only a month after I poured out my heart and told her how I felt, I was leaving.

It’s funny how little time we have to enjoy the good things.

This is the last time I will ever see her, this girl with whom I spent my childhood, and who knows, possibly the one I would have spent the rest of my life with. All foiled and ruined by the games. And what good did it do?

Paisley pulls something out of her pocket and grabs my hand, opening and closing it around the object. ”Can this be your token?” she asks. I inspect it, seeing that it’s a necklace with a little clay bird pendant on a leather string. A sparrow. It must have taken hours to make. Other people might have thought it was a dumb gift, but to me it’s beautiful. A lump forms in my throat and for a minute I forget to answer her question.

”Thanks, Paisley.” I say, not trusting my voice at the moment.

"I made it. I was going to give it to you after the reaping, but..."

I feel a flash of guilt before I remember that it’s not my fault. It’s not my fault that I was chosen in the Reaping. I still feel bad, though, for Paisley. I was supposed to meet her today after the reaping. We were going to celebrate another year of surviving the Reaping with a picnic, in the woods by a pond. She was probably expecting a nice, romantic day, where we could be alone together and away from the rest of the world for a while.

And even that was taken away from her.

I feel Paisley’s hand in mine, turning the little bird pendant so I can see its miniature belly.

I will forever hold you close.

”So you always have me,” Paisley says, folding the object up in my hands. She smiles at me sadly, her eyes meeting mine. She has the most beautiful eyes. They’re swirling pools of chocolate brown that sparkle when she laughs and turn stormy on the rare occasions when she’s angry. She sometimes tries to hide how she feels inside, but her eyes tell the truth. They always show how she feels. And now I recoognize something in them that was never there before.

Fear.

I need to cheer her up; I need to say something instead of just standing here while she says all of this heartfelt stuff. I only have a few minutes before I never see her again. And I’m not going to waste it. I have to tell her how I feel.

”Paisley,” I start, clutching the necklace in my fist and meeting her gaze. ”I want you to know that I love you, I always will, no matter what.” The lump in my throat gets bigger with every word, and I try to keep my voice from cracking. “I’ll be thinking about you, okay? Even in the arena. Just… try to be strong. For me.”

”Never forget me,” she says, a tear falling down her cheek.

“How could I?” I say seriously, wiping it off with my thumb. My arms go around her waist.

And I kiss her and I kiss her and I kiss her.



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[kendall]

paisley anna summers,

[/i][/color]
ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAR FACE, WORN OUT PLACES, WORN OUT FACES

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I don't know what to say. I am swimming in a ocean of thoughts and lost hopes and dreams. I am so displeased with myself for not knowing what to say or do. Don't mess up. That was what was running through my head. The last moments have to be perfect. But nothing is perfect when you know this will not turn out perfect. How you think the end of you will be the end of someone. Or the other way around. I could tell this was hard for him to. He was fishing for the right words to say. I couldn't make him upset. That would be the worst thing I could possibly do. But the odds were never in my favor so that is what I am going to end up doing.

"No, Paisley, you can't. It wouldn't be worth it. We'd both die, or maybe end up having to kill each other. What good would that do?"[/b]

I touch his cheek, running my hand down to his hand so we meet."We'd have each other. You go, I go. Remember?"[/b]

Tears shedding and a whole lot of silence wasn't what I wanted right now. I have had a lot of sorrow in my life but what I really need is hope. Hope not that somehow, Drew won't have to take place in a suicidal game but that both of us will be strong without each other. But it's so hard to stay structured when the core of your life is ripped out from inside you so quickly. I feel so selfish thinking about how I am going to survive this when Drew is the one I should be fretting over. It's as though on event could change my personality completely.

”Paisley, I want you to know that I love you, I always will, no matter what. I’ll be thinking about you, okay? Even in the arena. Just… try to be strong. For me.”[/b]

"I promise.[/b]His voice wasn't steady but I knew he meant it. He meant everything he said to me. When he said he would there to catch me when I fall, I didn't doubt him for a second from the moment the lightning struck or the moment I fell in love with him. Now it was my turn to keep a promise for him. Drew trusted me, I could give him that much, but I didn't trust myself. And that was my problem."I know you will be there to catch me."[/b]

--"Never forget me."[/i]--

“How could I?”[/b]

I smile, trying so hard to give him extra support but I know it came out as a sympathetic smile."You would be surprised how easy it is to forget everyone you care about."[/b] I didn't say that to make him worry, I said it to warn him. The arena is a scary place, even just experiencing it on the television it changes a person. They are never the same. Their minds seem set on two things. One, surviving. The other was death. Some people you never would think would hurt a fly, you see stabbing their fellow ally to death. It changed someone completely. Even if you do win, the horror of everything that happened that week affects who you are to your last dying days.

Would it be better for him to die?[/i]
 
I push those thought away as he kisses me warmly. How could I ever want him to die? I love him. All I want is for him to be happy. Not taken over by fame and fortune. I feel like I am screaming on the top of my lung in a crowded room and no one even stops to look up. No one wants to save the boy I love more then me. To believe he would win isn't out there. Believing he would be the same boy that kissed me in the tree weeks ago was out of this word.

"I promise we will see each other again."[/b] I say, meaning it this time. If we either meet in heaven or hell. If we meet when he comes home or alive, I promise we will see each other. I kiss him this time, trying my barest to forget.

As time passed, it felt like seconds before the peacekeepers came to escort me out of the justice building. I whisper that I love him before I feel the peacekeepers grab onto me. I cry. I can't help it. Tears pelt down on my face like a rain storm. I promised to be strong and I already broke the promise. 


"DREW!!"[/b]

The peace keepers are much stronger then me and they carry me out screaming at them to get their hands off me. As they shut the door I just now realise something.

I am alone.

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IT'S A VERY, VERY, MAD WORLD!
THE DREAMS IN WHICH IM DYING ARE THE BEST I HAVE EVER HAD.
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