my world is {c r a s h}ing down. || Raseri

[kendall]

paisley anna summers,

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ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAR FACE, WORN OUT PLACES, WORN OUT FACES

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I knew he was meant more than this. He was meant for bigger things then a one horse town in the forest of District 7 with a girl like me. But he loved it anyway, that is what he chose. He was meant for more then the Games. More then the brutal battle that costed him his life for public entertainment. Watching him being killed by the hands of another hurt. Watching him suffer under the hands of another and I couldn't do anything about it hurt much much more. What would you do if the only person keeping you alive was gone. That's exactly the question. He was stabbed, beaten, kicked to death. I watched it all from the television, white in the face and crying as blood was shed by my true love. I watched his once so lively eyes turn cloudy and still. As life leaked out from the tares in his flesh the tributes made. He deserved to live. Live his life until he died as an old man. But some things were only dreams. 

Damn them all. Damn me.

Because of this I couldn't figure out how to go on without him guiding me. He didn't want this to happen. Be strong, he said. He was strong enough to last a day. I wasn't strong enough to last my life. I broke my promise to him to be strong and move on. Don't waste my life in a black dress mourning over someone who is in a better place then this.

I want to be in a better place.

Promises of seeing the face you yearn to see every day again will be the promise I will keep. Weather it heaven or hell I will see him. He will see me. That is the promise I will keep. That I will fulfil. 

I was so stupid. Stupid enough to believe things do get better. Good things last. Love lasts forever. Nothing lasts long enough. Everything is taken from you when you need it the most and you can't reach it because t was set to far from your reach. I was made to suffer. People enjoyed me suffering. The world was cruel. Everything was cruel in it. All I was was a girl who was broken to pieces that no one knew how to fix so she was shoved in the back of their mids. 

Why is it that I am screaming in the middle of a crowded an no one even looks up? 

Rope.

I cry, running through the town, towards the only place I know I am safe. The tree. My fellow citizens only saw what I was on the outside. Poor little Paisley so confused without him. The didn't care about anything but themselves but all I cares about was Drew. Slipping under the no trespassing sign, I ducked, trying not to get my mouse colored hair stuck between the chain linked fence. I ran a ways, the parched ground crunching as I ran. The rope chasing after me as I ran. All I knew was that if I kept running I would come to where I wanted.

Finally, my feet aching, I stopped the memorise flooding in. The only memories I could remember. 

They stop my tears stop as I think. But my memorise were not enough to stop the real world to fall back into place. I was alone. Alone forever. The tears, as though on que, roll down my faced I climb up up the tree were we met so many years before. The branch I had enough strength to reach was the one I carved our initials into was when I lost it. Lost in the world that could have been. 

The rope. It followed me here. I tie a knot, then the rope to the tree. I am hysterically crying. I will be with him. I have to be. I wrap it around my neck.

"Jump."[/b]I command myself, standing up as I grasp the tree. My hand quiver, shaking with fear of the unknown. What if I never see him again even when I am dead? I was afraid. Why was it that all I was was afraid? "God damn you, Paisley. JUMP!!"[/b] I wasn't strong enough. I had to.
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Moan , moan, moan :/ that was a painfully boring *yawn* written post. 

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IT'S A VERY, VERY, MAD WORLD!
THE DREAMS IN WHICH IM DYING ARE THE BEST I HAVE EVER HAD.
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