``` Melting Stars } [kaylin]
Jun 29, 2012 17:11:40 GMT -5
Post by brad bradford ★ d5b [arx] on Jun 29, 2012 17:11:40 GMT -5
It was time to pack up and leave again. After getting back from helping in District 1 with the huge mine collapse and all, it was time to head to District 7 with another job. My dad said he wanted to expand his abilities to others but I didn't quite grasp what he meant at the time. I'm starting to understand now that he means traveling - constantly. It wasn't more than a week when he told me that we were leaving again, going to District 7. He didn't have a specific reason, but I know that my aunt lives there so I'm assuming that we are staying with her, and that the stay will be longer than just a regular vacation. Not that I mind. District 8 has nothing but memories - sad memories to be exact. But as much as I am okay with leaving, I'm still worried about how Ember would feel about that. I visited her the day before I left, telling he that I was sorry that I had to go again. But who am I to say that she needs me? Wants me there? Just an ex-boyfriend.
Now I lay in my aunt Marla's house, sharing a room with my cousin Elizabeth. She seems to be quite terrified of me, and I can understand why she might be. We can't talk to each other. I can't hear her. And the way I examine everything in her room and watch her like some sort of stalker only makes the awkwardness worse. I try not to look at her and everything else, but it's all out of habit that I do - I can't understand anybody who talks to me unless I watch their lips. I can't tell how anybody feels unless I watch them. Only my father, the girl I met in District 1, and Ember know how to speak sign language - I only have access to my father now. One is far away in District 5 and the other is buried back in District 8. And I'm here - in District 7.
I walk from the room, leaving Elizabeth to herself, deciding that I should sleep on the couch the rest of our visit. Aunt Marla is out working her job, as well as my father, and I find myself alone in the kitchen and nearly die of a heart attack when their dog jumps on the back of my knees. His mouth opens in shuts in what I assume to be yaps of joy, but I can't know for sure. For all I know he could be growling at me. For all I know he could hate me. For all I know, the whole world could be spitting hateful words at me and I might not know. I pour food into the little dogs bowl and head out the door. There is nothing for me here. There is nothing for me anywhere. I am a nobody, never useful, never where I am supposed to be, unable to help out in any kind of situation. Only Ember ever saw past my ears. Only she can understand.
As I usually do, I find myself wandering to the middle of no where. Up a few hills, down into a few valleys, finally ending up in a field of tall grass overlooking a beautiful view. I lay down, wishing for Ember to come back and trip over my midsection again. I want her back - I want her here again. Just her smile for a split second, or the touch of her hand on my face, or the look in her eyes that said she loved me. I gaze at the sky, looking for her in the stars that begin to appear in the sky. But I see nothing, no signs of her in the stars. She isn't here and never will be. The stars melt as I let tears enter my eyes before brushing them away.