Down But Not Out ~ {Charade}

[sbeeg]

Zanita Luzell

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Thoughts had been filling Zanita's head all day. She was usually a think on your feet kind of person but this required future planning. Her emotions ranged from defeated to raging back down to depressed. How could she fight with such a fool proof plan? Then again how could she just let him play her like that? Most of all, why did she allow herself to care so much? Looking back on those first years with Kovu, Zanita knew she should have never taken him in. He just looked so... vulnerable. That was before Zanita learned how to deal with weakness- and that was to eliminate it.

However this weakness inside of her could not be dealt with. The more she tried to ignore it the more it tugged at the heart she did not even know she still had. As small as it was at least it existed unlike his. Zanita was thoroughly convinced that Sebastian did not possess a heart. No person with one would have ever played such a low life, dirty trick.

After her confrontation with him Zanita had retreated to her hiding spot in the bushes. Her mind raced with what to do. Go through with the plan to protect the one person she's ever really cared for, or rebel against his iron rule. Many different arguments were brought up and she fought herself for what to do.

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Finally, when dusk was curling over the District, Zanita moved into camp where the nightly fire had already been started. Her eyes scanned over the outcasts from the mansion- usually they looked for Kovu but tonight they looked for... him. She spotted him fairly quickly, away from the others but still out in the open ruling over his army. Trying to muster what pride she had left, Zanita cross the camp to him, the same smug look on her face but a little weaker than the one she usually wore. Silently, she sat down beside Sebastian, still trying to figure out what she should do.

Looking straight forward into the swirling flames of the fire, Zanita picked her side, it may not have been the best choice but it was a risk she was willing to take.

"I've thought over your... idea," she said, straight faced, her dark eyes still focused on the colors dancing through the logs. "And I want you to know that I have worked too hard to let my power just slip away from so easily."

Her eyes flicked over to Kovu, her heir, her everything. She could take whatever this brute had to dish out but could he?

"However, you haven't exactly given me a choice," she sighed with frustration, her nails digging into the skin of her thighs. She thought life outside of the mansion would be her's for the taking. Evidently, even rebels had a hierarchy. "So, while I agree with your terms I will, by no means, enjoy them so do not expect me to."

She refused to make anything easy for that thing and even a deceleration of her submission was not going to be quick and simple. Zanita was simply not made to bow before another. She was made to rule and even if it was behind someone's back to protect the only family she had ever had, she'd do it.
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[charade]

Sebastian Rothul

After the conclusion of the argument,the day had passed Sebastian, who reveled in the fresh surge of giddiness that had accompanied the action of putting his foot down. But his revelry was short lived and quickly turned to brooding. While he took a deranged sort of pleasure in seeing his most constant thorn crumple and wilt like a flower that had been pulled up by its roots, something unsettling was nagging at him. Zanita. The self made girl and by his words, a lioness. She had weathered his verbal barrage and come out on the short end of the stick, but...

It had been too easy.

Could something be amiss? Was she even now devising a way to deal with this latest turn of events? Sebastian could only wonder. Had he really drove the point home be threatening her mewling cub? The outcast of outcasts, the only breathing being that she showed preferential treatment to? Could she...love that Kovu? Stroking his chin, he reflected on the abstractness of the concept and how it failed to fall in with his line of reasoning.

No, such an abstract concept could have no place here. Which meant that the only plausible explanation for her reaction was... fear. Fear for that one life, or rather the termination of it. Sebastian would have to learn ever more if he were to understand the workings of her mind.

****

The setting of the sun brought with it the cool relief from the heat. But Sebastian found no relief from his mind. The myriad possibilities that could diverge from his single action were too many to fathom, and Sebastian did not like not knowing how something was going to turn out. Though he wouldn't dare admit it, some part of him feared that if he and Zanita were not actively engaged in a battle of wits, things would become dreadfully boring indeed. That is, if she wasn't playing a mind game right now. As usual, the fires were started and he kept himself away from the rest of the pack, stoking his flame and roasting his meal with a look of disconnectedness etched on his face.

Movement caused him to look around, searching for and quickly finding the smarmy face of the lioness. She took moment to pick a side, before plopping herself down next to him."I've thought over your... idea," Took her that long did it? "And I want you to know that I have worked too hard to let my power just slip away from so easily." But did she know he had worked too hard to wrest control to let it get away now?

Clearly annoyed, she continued talking, even as her physical action betrayed her discomfort."However, you haven't exactly given me a choice, So, while I agree with your terms I will, by no means, enjoy them so do not expect me to." There she went again. Caving. Sebastian smirked."I knew you'd see reason,"Offering her some of his rabbit meat he kept going. I meant what I said about allowing you a measure of control. Those fools in the mansion won't know what hit them, and with you by my side, they will fall. I will be in control at last. Turning to gaze at her, he squinted meaningfully. "Things will move much more efficiently around here if everyone is moving towards the same goal. Regrettably,to ensure this I must hold threats concerning him over your head.He leaned in."I know you're up to something but I just don't know what. I aim to find out. You don't really think I'd believe you'd submit this easily do you?"

[sbeeg]

Zanita Luzell

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She should have taken the meat that was offered to her- who knew the next time she'd see a meal? However, at the thought of eating Zanita's stomach did a cartwheel and she shook her head. Her nails were still digging into the skin of her legs- one was even starting to draw blood.

"and with you by my side, they will fall. I will be in control at last." By his side, and he will be in control. Even the way he worded his sentences infuriated the girl. He could not even lie about no being in complete control. What was she supposed to do "by his side?" Look pretty? Zanita was a fighter and a leader not a bystander. Yet, here she was sitting by his side submitting. It hurt her, but it pained her more to think of Kovu in his hands. His eyes turned on her, two dark circles staring into her soul. It felt like he was reading her, like he could know what she was thinking just by a glance. Then he pitched forward, another one of those personal conversations held in whispers in case someone decided to listen in.

"You don't really think I'd believe you'd submit this easily do you?" Zanita could not help but grin a little at that because, neither did she. That was enough to convince her to make her own little stand.

"I want to make something very clear," she leaned forward, freeing her hands from the nervous ticks to lay them on Sebastian's shoulders. Her lips were at his ear, her tone almost an exact copy of the one he used to threaten her that morning. "No matter what happens, if you even look at Kovu in a way I don't like I can personally guarantee that you won't have any fingers left to lay on him."

Pulling away, Zanita looked at the man she had despised and battled against for so long. All the while wearing a smug grin, she cupped one of his cheeks almost gently. An action she had used with Kovu for so long.

"One day, you will understand what it feels like to love some one that much. And when this day comes I'll be there to snatch it away and watch as your joy turns to anguish," slowly, Zanita placed a small kiss on Sebastian's cheek. Something that would seem more likely from one of the pampered girls from the mansion than from just a hardened person like Zanita. Yet, she did- her lips barely touching his skin. Then she pulled back, freeing his other cheek from her hand and watching him with a look of triumphant.

"I'm glad to be your partner, Sebastian," she gave him a smile that showed off her teeth. "I would not want to be away from you longer than necessary."

In a pride, the lion maybe the one in charge but it is the lioness who hunts.
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Sebastian Rothul

While he waited for her response, Sebastian idly turned his meat over and over in his hands, squeezing the juice out to spatter here and there on the ground or to sizzle from the heat of the flames. He liked his meat tough and this was the best way to get rid of the excess grease.
"I want to make something very clear," she leaned forward, placing her hands on his shoulders in an altogether awkwardly intimate way. Her lips stroked his ear, and he felt an involuntary shiver run its course throughout his body. Zanita's voice was low and ruddy, in a way that almost mimicked the tones he liked to use himself. "No matter what happens, if you even look at Kovu in a way I don't like I can personally guarantee that you won't have any fingers left to lay on him."

So now the claws come out. Sebastian braced himself for the inevitable attack, and so, was not prepared for what followed. With her hands placed around the side of his face. It wasn't a painful motion, but one that confused him further. "One day, you will understand what it feels like to love some one that much. And when this day comes I'll be there to snatch it away and watch as your joy turns to anguish," In the next moment, he felt the touch of her lips and the tip of her tongue caress his cheek. It was an action that had no bearing. Sebastian sat rigid, his hairs standing on end, even as he knew she felt she had won something by the smug look on her face.

"I'm glad to be your partner, Sebastian," The light from the fire made her teeth gleam. "I would not want to be away from you longer than necessary." Mulling her not so veiled threats over in his mind, Sebastian felt as if if was a bit much to take in all at once. Still, the petals of her mind were spread for the moment, allowing him a glimpse into the hidden, softer side of her and before they shut, he meant to take the plunge into her psyche.

Sebastian scoffed at the prospect of being in love, and scoffed more at the thought of Zanita doing anything to undermine such. Not that he needed something like love. He was still unsure what her curious attachment to Kovu was. It was possible that having him under her heel pleased her. Perhaps they had torn up the turf together. Who knew who danced with who in the dead of the night and in the absence of etiquette or rules? She couldn't really love the boy could she?

She might. It wasn't like the rest of her pack had anything to offer. The Lebbinac's barely had one brain between the three of them, and the other two... Sebastian frowned. He could never remember their names. There was a girl that tried to imitate Zanita and a flea ridden mongrel. Neither of them were worth much. Still, if they were to be his pack, he would have to get used to their eccentricities.

Shaking the last few drops of stickiness off of his meat, Sebastian tore in two, eating a portion of it, and setting the rest into his pack. "The feelings mutual; I wouldn't want you out of my sight for more than is needed. You don't have to like me, or my methods, but I'd prefer not to think of you as an enemy. You're quite amiable when I'm not threatening you."Taking a moment to stoke the flame, he cocked his head to one side."We may not be friends, but... are you content with being unwilling allies?

[sbeeg]

Zanita Luzell

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Even when Zanita felt as if she had the upper hand she didn't. She never did seem to win anything. In fact, Zanita Luzell was just a sore loser even if she did not want to admit it. She lost her parents, so she joins the rebellious orphans in the mansion, she lost her power grab there and was forming an "army." Now, she's losing that army to this thing sitting beside her and just can't bare to admit that she lost. That she has lost everything. That all she has ever been is a sore loser.

So, she does what any normal, self respecting person would do- make snooty comments. "Quite amiable"? God, what the hell did that mean? Frankly, every cell in Zanita's body wanted to say no. Not just say it- yell it and then stick him in the eyeball with the stick he was using to toast meat. Then maybe shove the stick up somewhere else too.

His head cocked to one side, and he actually kind of looked like the other's in the camp for a moment- stupid. That made a grin spread across her lips and bring Zanita too a light enough mood to finally choose an answer that would keep herself and Kovu safe.

"Unwilling allies? Sounds like the Games- however, I do agree," she only hoped this would not end as so many Games alliances do- with a knife in the back and if it did, that it would be her knife in his back. She sat in silence for a few more moments, arms crossed thinking over exactly what she wanted to say next. "I've accepted your terms, I just want you to promise me one thing."

Her eyes weren't even on the bane of her existence. The brown orbs were staring past the dancing flames of the camp fire to the the young teen beyond it. Suddenly, Zanita felt cold despite being so close to the flames. Just like the night in the dead of winter when she came across the young boy, only a few years younger than herself, crying in the alleyway. She had been young then, with a some what warm heart. Wrapping the boy in her coat she walked him back to her small little camp behind one of the run down shops near the edge of the District. Since that night Zanita took it upon herself to become more than a poor, hungry girl. She had something to strive for and something to protect. She was a mother, a sister and a guardian all in one. Zanita had never needed anyone after Kovu. He was her all.

With all of those memories and emotions at the front of her mind, her next words were more sincere than any of her previous threats.

"Please, don't hurt Kovu," maybe they weren't the most eloquent words in the world, but they got her point across. No doubt Sebastian could spin a web of long, complicated words to express this emotion building in Zanita's stomach but she could only find simple ones. In this moment of weakness, Zanita had to blink far more than usual- the fire must have been irritating her eyes or something. She didn't dare say ti aloud but the thought echoed in her mind as if she had yelled it across the camp.

He's all I have left.
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Sebastian Rothul

There went that grin again, though this time it seemed to be less feral and more slightly amused. "Unwilling allies? Sounds like the Games- however, I do agree," The corner of Sebastian's mouth turned up in a barely perceptible smile at that particular remark. The Games. What was that but art imitating life? Life was as much of a struggle as the arena, the survival of the fittest, only improved by the relationships you make and the occasional lucky break. And if you played your cards right, you'd stay alive and get the prize. Sometimes, the strongest would would come out on top, other times the craftiest.

Thankfully for Sebastian, he felt he had the best of both worlds. After all, strengths and smarts were only as good as the wielder, and the person in possession of these traits had to be willing to do whatever it takes to survive. There are no second chances in the arena; And Sebastian doubted there would be in the mind games for power and control that occupied so much of his time. Out in the lawless way that he lived, the world was dog eat dog; in some cases quite literally, and Sebastian had no intention of ever letting himself slip to the bottom rung.

"I've accepted your terms, I just want you to promise me one thing."

A promise? Sebastian deigned to listen, having decided that with her acceptance of his terms, he had nothing further to lose, but everything else to gain. He was no stranger to promises, having made several to himself. Promises of exacting revenge on his enemies for the most part.

"Please, don't hurt Kovu."

There was a slight catch in her voice, the words leaving her mouth like the dying gasp of a fish out of water. Locking horns with Sebastian as she had, he could tell she was just a little out of her element. Her eyes shined a little in the firelight and he wondered if she was going to cry. Normally, that would mean he had won. Yet it felt like he had a small pit in his stomach. Was it from fear or reprisal? Or did he genuinely feel just a little ashamed for bringing someone so low?

In all honesty, he wasn't sure.

"You haven't given me any reason to,"he sputtered gruffly."So, the boy is...safe."He offered her some of his dinner again."Here."Arm one hand, offer with the other; that was his creed, but at the moment, he wanted her to take the food and move away, so he could sort out the reason behind his feeling uncomfortable.

[sbeeg]

Zanita Luzell

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Zanita cursed herself for being so open- for being so vulnerable. She was on the verge of tears right in front of this enemy, begging for protection for a loved one. She had never felt so low before. However, she managed to keep the tears at bay, just at the edge- enough to make them glisten. Enough so that it was obvious that she wanted to cry but she knew she could not. Eyes still trained on the flames, she waited for his reply- wondering if he would even be merciful to give her some closure.

"You haven't given me any reason to" well, that was something. Although it wasn't really the words that caught her attention it was the tone in which they were spoken. Almost... stumped? Confused? Loss for words? "So, the boy is...safe." Maybe it was the fact of seeing the girl that had hated him for so long on the verge of a breakdown that made him stutter out words. Zanita probably would if she ever saw him crying.

The stick with the roasted meat swooped over within her reach. He was offering her food? After withholding it for three days, she was getting two meals? That's a change. Maybe just going with his plan would work out for the best. Oh, but that was weak Zanita talking- dominate Zanita still wanted his blood. However she was too tired and too hungry to be that strong leader.

Thinking it over, Zanita finally looked up at him, disregarding the fact that he could read her like a book at that moment. Her eyebrows furrowed together in concentration as she picked the best words to express her emotions at that moment.

"Thank you," they very well be the very last kind words she'd say to him. However, at that moment she did not really mind. A mini war had been ended without too much blood spilling. So it didn't end the way she wanted it to- what wars do? Besides, Sebastian has to deal with her all the time now.

Tearing a hunk of meat off the skewer, Zanita stood up to make her away across the camp. She needed a few moments alone in her small, ratty tent to think things over. A lot had happened today and tomorrow would be a completely new experience. She wondered if she would regret this decision. She stopped right next to the fire to gaze into as if it might hold all the answers she yearned for. Finally, with her back to Sebastian and no one paying her any mind, she let the tears fall only to wipe them as soon as they hit her cheeks. Even a lioness needs to cry every once and awhile.
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[charade]

"Let me know that I've done wrong, when I've known this all along.
Go around a time or two, just to waste my time with you"

“Thank you.” Those two simple words hung in the air the way droplets of water hung off of blades of grass in the early morning; the way a drop of blood would trickle down and sit poised on the tip of a knife, before slowly dripping off and smashing on the ground, its elliptical shape compressing for the merest of moments before shattering into a million particles. The pit in Sebastian’s stomach was growing larger , and his victory was slowly turning acrid and bitter to the taste.

Zanita had made it clear that she was submitting to his impromptu rule out of fear, not for her own wellbeing but for her little companion. It was baffling that she felt so strongly for this Kovu, when her feelings for the rest of the group amounted to little more than making them fall in line. What she felt for Sebastian he could only imagine was strong dislike, if not unbridled hate. However, what made him wrack the canals of his mind even more as she walked away from his fire with the food he had given her was the relationship that she carried with Kovu.

There was no reason for it to strike at his psyche the way that it did, no emotion that he could label it as except for... jealousy. And he was not yet ready to entertain that notion. They must have had some history together, the way she cared for him. Had they run the streets together, a pair of street rats against the world? Were they lovers? But no, the way she acted towards Kovu was more the way a den mother protected a cub; a sacrifice to be sure, but not the same kind of sacrifice as one would make for a significant other.

"Tell me all that you've thrown away;
Find out games you don't want to play.
You are...the only one that needs to know."

She stopped several feet away and brought her hands up to her face, presumably to eat more of the meal he had afforded her. Sebastian shifted uncomfortably and lay down on his back, letting his vision fill up with the blackness of the sky and the stars that dotted the ethereal landscape above him. He hadn't felt like this in a long time and those feelings that were kept carefully guarded in the recesses of his mind were in danger in spilling over.

Memories of his father's beatings and the hate harbored between them. The constant lessons of how fear was better than...love. That a hold of fear over someone was more beneficial than any positive feeling they could give you. His attempt to instill that same fear in his father; it had worked to a certain capacity. The beatings has stopped, but he would carry a reminder of defiance forever. Sebastian unconsciously ran his hand over the scar that ran from the tip of his forehead to halfway down his cheek.

He remembered the exultation of joy he had felt when he found out that his father would never be coming home from work again; and the snap decision to choose his own path, rather than let the adults shunt him into a group home. Homelessness on the streets and sleeping just outside the fence was preferable to that horrid family setting. The joke may have been on him though, for the situation he was currently in mirrored a group home so well.

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty Little Secret)Don't tell anyone or you'll just be another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it, my dirty little secret.

But why did he not feel the same joy at casting Zanita down? By all rights it should have been the same. Was it her capacity to care for another, even it was only one that caused him to feel ashamed for tearing down the walls she had crafted around herself? Could he have been... wrong to do so?

To some degree, he respected what Zanita had done for herself. It showed independence, self-reliance, a sharp mind and the ability to get done what she set her mind to. Almost like... huh.

Sebastian smiled softly as the dots connected; he hadn't been aware of the similarities between the girl he had fought so hard for the past several days and a certain strong willed individual known as himself. He did consider himself to be king of the streets. A lion. And what had he nicknamed her but the lioness?

Who has to know? When we live such fragile lives,
its the best way we survive. Go around a time or two,
just to waste my time with you.

Sebastian turned over onto his side and closed his eyes, wrestling with the inner turmoil of having to admit he found Zanita's personality to be attractive. Maybe he could bring himself to admit that; but he had spent enough time thinking for now. Now he would Sleep. And the morning would bring with it... fresh opportunity.

Who has to know? The way she feels inside,
those thoughts I can't deny. These sleeping dogs won't lie.
And now I try to lie. It's eating me alive, trace this life back...