i've got the {guts} to say [anything] :: glee!

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jace vincent wheaton

TAKE APART EVERYTHING THAT'S HOLDING ME DOWN

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make a point to pick a new direction, to make a new connection[/color][/size]

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--Sometimes

[/size] I start to feel like maybe, just maybe I’m beginning to get something right all i ever seemed to hear was how wrong i was and how i was destined to fail and nothing i did would ever be the way it was supposed to unless i buried myself in little pills and false promises for once. I never was much of one for math or English or anything else that the world insists matters to a level I can’t fathom, but music was always my greatest victory, and if no one believed it then, they do now. What started as the flickering spark of a last-ditch idea has grown to a tentative but still-present flame of existence, something I can claim and be proud of and point to on a stage saying Hey, I made that happen. That’s my glee club.

They’ve grown (we’ve grown) not just in numbers but as people in general, making a marked transformation from a ragtag group of misfits all trying to outshine each other into something more. I remember that first stuffy Friday afternoon, five kids singing shaky harmonies and throwing paint in each other’s faces as the best icebreaker I can think of. Now, when I breeze through the door of the music room only five minutes late, I see a whole host of faces, some old, some newer, and some I’ve never seen before. New members have been showing up to almost every practice, and something like pride hums alongside the rhythms in my veins at the thought.

I’ve always said that music brings people together, but even I wasn’t prepared for the effect it had on the collective membership of New Chords on the Block. For the first few weeks they barely spoke to one another, bickered at the slightest provocation, always had their guard up after a lifetime of living as outcasts. It’s different now i said at the beginning that i wanted us to be a team but now we’ve grown into something more like a family and it might be the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen in a way I can see but can’t define, visible as I hover by the door for a few seconds before anyone notices I’ve arrived with sheet music in tow. Where there was once an awkward, quiet group of kids sitting as far apart as possible and seizing each other up, people are talking and playing instruments and goofing off, acting like kids, something Thirteen condemns as an unforgiveable sin. Abril, Isabella, and Christian sit in a circle chattering about this or that show tune, all expressive hand gestures and loud opinions. Day and Sam stand nearby, in a conversation of their own but still close enough at hand to throw in an edgewise word to the others. Reagan and Amity seem to be filing their nails, a very unhappy-looking Jackson as a captive audience. A warm, clear baritone rises up from the corner and I see Colt perched on a stool, guitar in hand as he riffs over the melody blooming on the piano keys pressed by the skinny frame beside him. He trips over the lyrics for a second until he sputters back into the flow, and one of maybe five genuine, warm smiles I’ve ever seen Kaelen produce pulls at his lips as he conjures up a soft harmony that lays effortlessly under his best friend’s voice i asked him one time why they hung out so much and he smiled which was weird because kaelen never smiles like he did then all soft and kind of content and a little like he had something to live for and then he said “he’s my best friend and we tell each other everything and we hang out all the time that’s not weird” but it was weird because i mean it’s kaelen fucking dempsey and since when does he have friends -

”What’s up, guys?” I finally pipe up, the chaos in the room dying down as I walk the few steps over to my desk, waiting for everyone to find a seat before offering a grin that’s more than a little mischievous, stepping forward and doling out the papers in my hand to each occupant of a desk. ”Got a challenge for you this week. Hard theme to tackle. Let’s get cracking, yeah?”

Kaelen’s eyebrow quirks up the second I slap a paper on his desk and I grit my teeth, bracing myself for the incoming snark storm. ”What in the name of Hemingway’s six-toed cat is this malarkey, Twitch? It’s blank. Have you begun writing our arrangements in invisible ink now?”

”Very astute observation, Dempsey,” I drawl back in a perfect imitation of his flat monotone of a tenor, something I’ve admittedly had a lot of practice doing mocking him behind his back. ”If you’d attempt the impossible and shut up, I was getting to the explanation.”

”If we let you take your time explaining we’d be here till midnight and you’d be prattling on about flying squirrels or some such nonsense.”

”I will throw you in detention,” I snap briefly, earning an eye roll but also silence. ”The sheet music is blank because it’s you. You guys are in high school now, and I bet a lot of you feel like blank slates, something that people try to write all over and turn you into what they want you to be. I’ve seen how you guys go through your day, hell, most have you have come over and had dinner at my place by now, and it’s pretty obvious that you need to take a little self-discovery journey. So that’s this week’s theme.”

I jog over to the chalk board, picking up a stub of chalk and scrawling out Finding Out Who You Are in big, messy letters. ”This week, I’m giving you guys the reins. You’ll pick your homework songs, You’ll design the set up for the assembly performance on Friday. I’m going to pick one of you to select, arrange, and sing lead on the group number. This week, I want you guys to dig deep. Look inward, even if what you see scares you, and figure out what you’re all about. You owe that to yourselves.”

A loud snort from the front row interrupts my last sentence, and I look up only to be met with flat, impenetrable brown eyes outlined in black. ”This is all a bit specific, Wheaton. There are some people in here who have perfect knowledge of who they are. For example: Hi, I’m Kaelen. I’m smarter than all of you, more talented than most of you, and depending on personal prejudice I’m also the best looking -”

”Shut up, you’re scaring the new kids.” The glare I give as I cut him off isn’t really anything malicious no matter how mean people were to me i could never be mean back no matter how hard i tried in its intent, more like I’m just looking at the actual person underneath all of his typical arrogant bullshit. As good as he thinks he is, it’s hard to lie to someone else who spent most of their lives lying to themselves. It’s a general opinion that I’m as dumb as they come, but I don’t miss the way he clings to Alyssa’s side like he’s afraid she’ll leave him without the only tie to his childhood, how maybe all that showmanship he puts into his music is a little too close to actual heartbreak, how behind flat looks and acid words he’s probably more lost than he wants anyone to know. You’re not fooling anyone, kid. You’re probably the one in this room who’s scared to find out who you are. I blink a few times and then look up to address the new faces out in the crowd. ”You’ll learn to ignore him. Welcome to glee club! We nixed the audition process a few weeks ago; everybody makes it now, but if you want to come up and introduce yourself, go right ahead. You picked a great week to get into things!”

I can already see Abril sitting on the edge of her seat in anticipation, but when I give it any sort of thought I realize that she knows herself better than anyone else in the club. She’s a go-getter, Abril, knows what she wants and knows how to get it, and as much as she’d like the lead role this week, she doesn’t need it. When my conscience tells me who does, I bite back a groan, telling myself that I can make it through even days, I really can. This is karma biting me in the ass for that one time I broke mom’s vase and blamed Ophelia. ”And since Kaelen is so self-aware, he’ll have no problem whipping you all into shape for the group number this week.”

His head snaps up so fast I’m surprised there isn’t a comical sound effect to go with it. ”You’re… giving me a solo. You’re giving me creative license with the whole damn group number.”

”Yup.”

”But you hate me.”

”Yup.”

”And I hate you.”

”And we hate each other and that’s irrelevant to the fact that the group number’s yours, Dempsey,” I roll my eyes trying to tell myself I’m being a good Samaritan as I look up at the others with just a hint of apology for the fact that they’ll be trapped in what I’m sure will be musical Auschwitz for the next week. ”Have fun, guys. You’re going to learn a lot this week.”

Maybe more than you wanted to.[/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]

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WORDCOUNT 1612 words
TAGGED any and all glee plotters!
LYRICS BY all time low
NOTES okay, so here's how it goes. sign up for this thread in the glee plot thread. you have three days to do so. after you sign up, whatever order you post in will be the posting order. posting time rules apply here (you have a week to make your first post and three days after the person before you posts or you're out of the thread). after i make this jace post i will be switching to kaelen, so feel free to powerplay jace within reason.
CREDIT TO ohemgee callie ?! of caution 2.0!