sadness is the soul [Pika]

[Wonder]

Mathias Gammeth

Living [F5F2EF]
Speaking [97D4D0]
Other People Speaking [D9FFA9]
Deep Thought [F0D99E]
Edrys [FCBBEB]

[/size]

Mathias’ hands were stinging quite a bit. Each finger was wrapped with a bandage in a different place from small cuts and scrapes. He hated working would be his simple explanation to it all. If someone would interrupt him in the street and say, “Hey Mathias, fellow, why are your hands all wrapped with bandages?” One, he’d probably die of a heart attack because who would actually physically stop Mat on the side of the road and talk to him? And two he'd just simply express that he hated work.

It seemed as though everyone in the world had it out for him. He hadn’t done anything to him. Mat often found people at the factory snickering as he passed as if he wouldn’t notice their little chortles as he transported paper from place to place. They weren’t quiet, they never were. They’d often chant things like, “How’s your girlfriend, freak?” As if they cared about Edrys, no one did but him, and he was never quite sure as to whether they were calling him freak, or Edrys.

He assumed that they were calling him names on the account that they’d ignored her every time she’d come to visit him at work. It’s funny how all the workers would mock her around him constantly, but when she was around they’d pretend she wasn’t there. Almost as if she never existed. The times where she visited were always the best times at the paper factory. Everyone, including the managers avoided him when they were talking. The whole area would be cleared up just for the two. Sure, they only sat on a couple of crates facing each other and talked, they needn’t stop the whole operation just for him. But it seems that he did.

He was pretty responsible with the job though, he’d only take a break to talk to Edrys when he was allowed to and he’d more than often keep on time with his breaks. It didn’t really matter that their conversations were cut short anyways, considering how Edrys didn’t really like coming to the paper factory. She would say, “It makes me feel guilty. I know I made you have this job and you hate it. You always look so sad here.” She had in fact made him take the job, only because he’d trashed the whole factory because of her.

But he’d never let her take the blame for it, and she knows it. It didn’t matter though, she felt guilty. More often than not, she just waited in his room for him to get home from work and that was fine with Mathias. He preferred the subtle whispering always to the total and utter avoidance, not that he’d ever admit that to Edrys. No one cared about him.

And that was probably the sad thing about it all. If someone stopped him in the street to ask what was wrong with his hands. One, he’d die of a heart attack. But two, he probably wouldn’t because the only person who would ask him if he was alright or not would be Edrys who was patiently, or impatiently waiting for him at home.

He wasn’t quite sure what the girl did while she waited for him to come home. He imagined she might lie on his bed with her long blonde girl floating almost around her pale face. She might sleep? He didn’t even know, all he knew was that he needed to get back to her as soon as possible. Mat stopped fiddling with his hand bandages and started quickly home, not really paying attention to anyone or anything.

The square was nearly empty, now only those who actually took interest in the Games sat around religiously. As of last night, both District 7 tributes had been killed so no one really wanted to watch anymore. Mat hadn’t really been paying attention. But he knew the female had died in some brawl, it didn’t matter anyways. He didn’t know either of the tributes. Luckily, neither him nor Edrys had been reaped, so it was none of his business
who died.

Mat barely paid any attention to his steps along the slippery snow filled ground as he paced home quite fast. The paper factory seemed miles and miles away from his house. It might be, he’d never really taken the time to actually measure the distance. Not that he would. His mind was racing so quickly. What was Edrys doing? Was she waiting? Was he going to slip? He didn’t even see the boy that he walked into until he found himself on his butt.

It hurt already. Landing on one’s ass was not one of the most enjoyable things on the planet, especially when walking so quickly. He was so irritated that he’d stopped, he doubted he’d make it home on time. What if she was waiting. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled apologetically to the boy but still remained on the ground. Pride too hurt to actually stand up, Mat just sat there wallowing in self-pity.

[pika]

Snow fluttered around and fell gently to the dusty ground, and Dallas loved it. The snow masked all the sounds of the world, muting and deafening one's surroundings; for once, people could somewhat understand deafness. To most, the ability to hear was all but something that was taken for granted, a day-to-day gift that nobody thought twice about how lucky they were to be able to hear sounds and music and voices.

Lately his family had been more and more distant with each other, and Dallas almost didn't return home sometimes. To be honest, it might be easier off that way. He doubted his parents would even care. Now that their two oldest sons were all grown up and shipped away with their wives and kids to some other part of the District, Dallas was no longer an interest. He was almost that extra child they had, just to fill some indistinguishable void in their lives, and now they were done with him, no longer wanted anything to do with him.

As the day turned to late evening and the bright blue sky faded to pinks, purples and oranges, Dallas quickened his pace, desperate to get out of the night. Night brought strange noises and unknown goings-on, and Dallas did not particularly care to be among them. The road was slippery and wet, and he was taking phenomenal care not to slip and fall. The last thing he needed was a wet set of clothes. He was on his way to the typical event of a weekend, a party with lots of people.

Dallas didn't really see much to be happy about these days, especially during the Games. One would think the District would be mourning; it had just recently lost both its tributes, and with no more hope left for their district of winning this year, most people appeared to be in a solemn state. But still, he had heard by word of mouth that so-and-so was throwing a party, and he followed blindly the directions to the house that his friend had given him. Dallas hadn't a clue who was throwing this party, but this wasn't the first time he'd been invited to a stranger's house, and it probably wouldn't be the last.

So intent on his course to the party, Dallas payed no attention to the obstacles ahead of him. He found himself stumbling to the ground and crashing into the snow. It seeped through his clothes, and the wet melted snow bit at his skin. He looked intently at the person sitting next to him, who seemed just as dazed and irritated as Dallas was.

"I'm sorry," the boy mumbled, staring at anywhere but Dallas. He hadn't been spared from the snow, either, and was just as cold-looking and wet as Dallas was.

Dallas stood up, desperate to leave the cold of the snow. He looked at the poor sap, trying to figure out what to do. "Hey man, it's okay. Really. Are you okay?" He leaned down an arm, offering him support to stand up. He really had to get going, but he would feel bad about leaving him like that.

[Wonder]

Mathias Gammeth

Living [F5F2EF]
Speaking [97D4D0]
Other People Speaking [D9FFA9]
Deep Thought [F0D99E]
Edrys [FCBBEB]

[/size]

If there was two feelings that Mathias hated more than heartbreak, it was shame and helplessness. Sitting smack in the middle of the sidewalk, ass slowly becoming wet, Mathias couldn’t help but to feel a lot of shame and a lot of helplessness. As for the heartbreak, well, that was always there. Whenever he wasn’t with Edrys he felt like there was literally a gaping hole in his heart that couldn’t be filled. Only by seeing her was he ever complete, she was his missing puzzle piece.

Mathias seldom remembered a time where Edrys hadn’t been there for him. Every school sanctioned event, every harsh night, every reaping. Every reaping they would just look at each other. There was one thing, well of many, that really made him curious about her. It seemed that each year, at least since they’ve been eligible to be reaped, never had she once been nervous. She’d only ever been anxious for him. She spent most of the reaping days just comforting and consoling him, he wouldn’t get reaped if she had anything to do with it. And still, he wondered if it bothered her that if she ever did get selected, she might die. But it never seemed to.

Just thinking about her Mathias was almost in tears. It’d be a whole day since he’d seen her last and it was becoming unbearable. He could distinctly picture her bright blue eyes as she’d tell him over and over again that it’d be ok. He thought of her blonde curls that would bounce as she danced around his bedroom to no music whatsoever. “There’s music in the very air.” Edrys liked to say that to him, but he barely understood. She would often talk about how he never paid any attention to detail. Mathias understood that the sky was blue and clouds are white.

“It’s never that simple though, is it?” Mat never liked when she would ask questions like this. Questions that made him think. How could things not be that simple? Clearly the sky was blue, but apparently it was wrong. “The sky is a bunch of shades of blue. Things are never just one color.” This would confuse him more than he was before and he’d end up just staring at her hair. Her blonde hair with the curls, that’s what it was. “You never pay enough attention.” She’d tell him.

It wasn’t until recently that Mathias had started to see. He’d once heard the saying ‘the eyes are the window to the soul.’ Now, Mat wasn't one to really typically understand the whole metaphor type deal. He never really did pay attention in class, but that was mostly due to Edrys. Edrys, Edrys, Edrys. One day after she danced to her air music, Mathias tried to see the picture. The different shades of darkness, the beats of music in the air, but it wasn’t until he looked in to her eyes.

Her eyes weren’t just blue like he used to think. They had specs of almost white in little splotches around the blue, like the dances around her eyes. But, they had a sense of emptiness to them. It almost felt like a very lonely, dark place, even though her eyes were so light. That’s what shocked Mat so much. It almost seemed like even though she was there, right in front of him, her hollow eyes seemed to tell a different story. Almost as if, she really wasn't there at all. But her smile seemed to melt away that feeling.

Mathias still hadn’t heard her beats in the air, though he wishes he had. But still, his mind allowed him to see things most vividly. As his thoughts wander to Edrys, he doesn’t think of her yellow hair, he thinks of her light blonde curls that have many a stray hair as she’s too lazy to brush. It almost hurts every time his mind digresses to her. Especially when she’s not there, and she wasn’t. Mathias was almost alone on the cold winter ground, staring down the street. There’s one thing I hate more than heartbreak, longing.

He almost expected Edrys to come hopping down the street, as she does when she’s excited. But, she never did come. There was only Mathias, and this boy. He looked up finally, he never really did look at the other guy. The giant stood way above him, especially with him on the ground. But still, had Mathias been standing, it seemed as though he’d almost be a foot taller, though he did have a tendency to exaggerate a little bit.

The boy seemed almost dark, with his giant-esque figure and his dark brown hair, and his dark brown eyes, it almost seemed as if he could be a monster to Mathias, though it hardly seemed the case. "Hey man, it's okay. Really. Are you okay?" With that, the guy stuck out his arm towards Mat. Did he want him to shake it? He didn’t really understand. The whole idea of bumping in to the guy still made Mathias get that feeling in the pit of his stomach that made him sick. He really did hate talking to other people, especially kids who looked as though they could go to school with them. Experience showed that those types never were really nice to him in the long run.

OK? Was Mathias OK? He never really thought about it that much. He was in love, sure, but how did he feel besides that anyways? Dark, lonely, as if the world at any second could cut off all his oxygen and he would be fine. But, no, he wouldn’t be because he’s leave Edrys behind. Or was the boy talking about the fall? He felt fine, perhaps he might have a bruise down there, but that was really none of his business. The snow was soaking him slowly as it made a quick job of sinking into his jeans. He could feel his legs slowly getting wet from the snow and it was becoming uncomfortable.

The hand was probably to help him up. This really did shock Mat, why would anyone help him up? Especially someone who he just ever so rudely bumped in to. He wasn’t one to go about accepting any help from strangers because who knew what consequences would lay in its wake. He could have to become this guy’s slave and help him out all the time, or he may just go about and beat him up. Mathias had never been in a real big fight, at least that he could remember. What did you even do in a fight? His mind has racing at a million miles a minute. But, he stopped as soon as he realized he was just staring at his hand.

Mathias tried to make friends, it was hard for him. He didn’t understand a lot of what the other kids did so it really did just make him an outcast from day one. But he just didn’t want to keep staring at the hand. It was bizarre, and it wasn’t a nice hand. Well, who was one to judge if it was a nice hand or not, he certainly wasn’t. He peeked down at his cut hands that had accumulated a couple more scrapes from his fall on the snow covered gravel. They were atrocious. So, he supposed, in hindsight, the boys hands weren’t all that bad.

That’s when he decided to grab the hand. He just did it. Maybe things really just are that simple. He smiled up the boy and pulled himself up with the boys weight helping him out. He mumbled a thank you and lowered his head, he wasn’t one for eye contact. Help isn’t always a bad thing.

[pika]

Wind twirled around in gusts and danced of its own accord, and any exposed skin was attacked and razed by its talons. Where the claws made contact, Dallas' skin had turned a bright rosy pink, and his nose began to run. The sky had now been completely stripped of its colour, and it was devoid of any sense of light. His hand was still extended downward, toward the boy, and Dallas half-wondered if he was going to take it. It wouldn't be the most comfortable situation if he didn't end up taking the offer.

Dallas didn't really understand the boy's lack of communication. All his life, he had placed himself around other people of the likes of him, and he had never really experienced a quiet, reluctant person. A quiet person was boring, not worth his time. There was nothing more socially awkward than having to endure a painful conversation with a socially inept person.

Just as Dallas was ready to retract his hand and shove it deep back into his pocket, the boy suddenly grasped his hand and hauled himself upward. The unexpected weight almost made Dallas slip again, but he regained composure and tried to make it look like he hadn't lost his balance.

Dallas now had a good chance to look at the boy in front of him. The thing that he noticed were the prominent dark circles under his eyes, that popped out like none he'd ever seen before; it's almost as if the boy didn't even sleep at night. He was shorter than Dallas, about four inches shorter, but he was bulky and sturdy just like he was.

Even though the boy had taken his hand and was now standing up, he still hadn't responded to Dallas' question. He was awkward, not looking at Dallas, but rather past his head, or down at his feet. It's almost like he had been removed from social events for most of his life and had just now been placed back into them, and he was having a hard time readjusting.

"Hey man, what's your name?" He inquired to the boy, trying to make it an effort to capture his attention. Or at least the focus of his eyes. Was it really that hard to make eye contact with another human being? It came second nature to Dallas; in fact, it was second nature to be around people in the first place. He could not imagine a life without others. Life could not function for Dallas without them. People teach you things: they teach you lessons, they teach you things about life, they teach you things about yourself.

Dallas glanced up at the sky-which he hadn't realized had darkened until now-to gauge the time, and glanced back at the strange boy. The party had probably already started, but Dallas somehow wanted to stay here and talk with this boy more than he wanted to go the party. A quiet, awkward person was a rare sight for him to see, a rare occurrence, and he couldn't just walk away from that.

[Wonder]

Mathias Gammeth

Living [F5F2EF]
Speaking [97D4D0]
Other People Speaking [D9FFA9]
Deep Thought [F0D99E]
Edrys [FCBBEB]

[/size]

Resentment. It had barely taken a glance to realize that that was the general feeling of this conversation. The boy that stood in front of Mathias had regretted ever even starting talking to him, but that was alright. It wasn’t as though resentment was a new feeling. Over the years, there hadn’t really been a time with anyone, besides Edrys, where the overbearing feeling of resentment, disgust, or abnormality hadn’t thrown a deep dark blanket of hatred and darkness over Mathias. Seclusion was the least of his worries though because Mathias was abnormal. It was a fact that over the years had become almost a blanket of security. The kids at school bullied, mocked, kicked him to the ground, but at least he was original.

Still, there was always a sense of regret that came with resentment. Had Mathias never built up such high walls around him, would Edrys have ever come into his life? Would his parents still look past him as if he were nothing more than a ghost looming in the shadows of their home? The questions were daunting and complicated. Had building up such strong and tall walls been really such a good idea? Question upon question hurtled themselves into his brain and there was nothing to be done.

Trapped. That’s the feeling that came with resentment, feeling trapped in a spot you just can’t get out of. Being trapped in the walls that you built up brick by brick, sturdy and strong, until you realize that there’s no way out from the prison that you’ve built. Now standing, looking at the boy who shared the same resentment as bullies and parents, Mathias couldn’t help but to feel as though not only were his walls taller than ever, they were losing air.

Maybe it was missing Edrys that kept the walls so eerily tall. If only I were strong enough to break my binds and fly. Deep breaths. I want to be a bird. In, out, in, out. The whole process that seemed so simple always turned out to be more complicated than originally thought. Once his brain went crazy, there almost didn’t seem to be a way to chain it back down. If only the brain could fly high enough to break the constraints set by the numerous red jailors, but there was no end to the upwards tunnel that Mathias was locked in. There were times where everything seemed to shut down, and this was one of them.

Mathias had slowly started to take notice in the little details of the street. The small little cracks in the sidewalk that came from years and years of people treading on the large stones without being replaced. All things break with time. Little shops with dusty signs lines both sides of the road. Small businesses that barely got by on what they sold, because no one had money was scarce, and really only was used for necessities. How do you define what’s necessary? But, the thing that really stood out was an old, dusty streetlamp. There were numerous lamps on the way home, guiding the streets when it got dark. Though it was old, and the light barely shined anymore, Mathias couldn’t help but to hope and pray that any second, Edrys would run up and stand on the spotlight that it created. That one little spot was the only real light around, besides the moon. But, the moon wasn’t good enough anymore, for anyone. Usually, one would get rid of the things that aren’t needed anymore. But the moon sticks around to play. How long before he was unnecessary? Will I stick around to play?

"Hey man, what's your name?" The effort was solid. Mathias had to applaud the boy for still trying, when many had given up time and time again. Yet, here he was, still standing there. Wouldn’t it be good to try? The boy was slightly taller than him, though not by much. Mathias had to look up to him, literally. That was a weird feeling considering how Edrys and his parents had always been on the shorter side. He knew that people were taller, considering Mathias himself was rather on the short side but in an actual conversation, if you could call it that, that small little detail seemed to stand out more than anything.

“Mathias.” He paused, was it a good idea to say that? What if the boy had only asked so that he knew who to mock, or who to taunt, or who to tell his buddies that he kicked in the face and left for dead in the street? The whole idea seemed so completely crazy and unreal. By asking such a simple question, there had to be some sort of ulterior motive. No one was nice, especially to Mathias. But at the same time, how nice would it be to get a friend? Sure, Edrys was there, but more than one. A pool of friends. A factory of friends. A world of friends. But how likely was that? “That’s my name, Mathias.”

How many bricks would it take before the walls would come crumbling down atop of him?

[pika]

Snow still flurried in gusts around Dallas's head, flaking his brown hair with white spots and collecting on the top of his jacket. He shivered, the wet spot that had appeared from his fall in the snow chilling him to the bone.

"Mathias," he said. "That's my name, Mathias."

The sound of his voice redounding flicked Dallas out of his shivers, forcing his eyes to flicker toward the source. He sort of did look like a Mathias, he supposed. A bit fidgety, perhaps, but he seemed easy enough to befriend. Dallas was confident, presumptuous, and bold, and he loved people that were just the opposite of him. A quiet person was a challenge, a test of sorts; Dallas liked to experiment with different ways of breaking them from their shell. After all, nothing is unbreakable. There is always a weak spot, a deficiency in the armour of a person, and his challenge was to find where it was.

"Hi, Mathias. I'm Dallas," he said, rather awkwardly. he almost stuck his hand out again, an action ingrained in his mind from a very early age, but then decided against it; just moments ago Mathias had seemed hesitant to take his hand for support, and he didn't want to put him in that position again. Instead, he merely nodded his head, Dallas's sign of respect and formality.

"It's cold. Do you think you'd like to come to my friend's house with me? He could get us both a change of clothes, and maybe some food, too..." Dallas trailed off, realizing how awkward that probably sounded to Mathias. Dallas's mind flashed to an all-too-familiar scene: a dank, dimly-lit room, filled with the scents of alcohol, salty sweat, and the cacophony of different body sprays and products. Laughter and smiles caused the room to appear pleasant and inviting, and there were no tangible tension or negative feelings that usually lurked in the corners of Dallas's home.

But still, the offer was out there, just out of Dallas's reach, and it was left hanging in the cold, icy air between them. He had decided to leave out the fact that it was indeed a rather larger social gathering, seeing as Mathias probably would never had agreed to it if he had known that. If the boy said no, Dallas wasn't going to know what to do; he had a prior engagement to this party, but he couldn't just let Mathias walk away, now that they were on a first-name basis.

[Wonder]

Mathias Gammeth

Living [F5F2EF]
Speaking [97D4D0]
Other People Speaking [D9FFA9]
Deep Thought [F0D99E]
Edrys [FCBBEB]

[/size]

A stinging sensation tickled Mathias’ fingertips as he stood in the almost blistering cold. There had been way worse snow storms over the years, however, this one seemed to be particularly bad. Somehow, the tightly wrapped bandages sprawled on many areas across his hands had loosened. Their grip no longer good, no longer holding on to the scrapes that had found their way there during the work day. Moist bandages were possibly one of the worst things. Sure, there was starvation, oppression, death, fascism, but there is nothing quite as bad as a soggy band-aid to ruin your evening.

Minutes upon minutes of remaining motionless in the snow, had resulted not only in a wet bum, but wet hands. Melted snow seeping into his wounds from the paper cutting machine was quickly becoming an irritating disturbance. Throb. Mathias could feel each finger pulsating under the useless fabric that now hung down from his hands. Useless, completely and utterly useless.

Being wet, at least in this sense, was almost as unbearable as the bandages that barely stuck on. It was uncomfortable, especially with the jeans he had on. The retaining moisture seemed to want to drag the almost frail boy down into the depths of the earth where he would never rise again, or something like that. Jeans never seemed to dry. The constant downwards pull seemed to bring on a whole new layer of tiredness that Mathias hadn’t been experienced before. But, as to whether it really was his pants or the unwanted social interaction was a mystery upon itself.

Misery loves company. Mathias was definitely miserable and there was plenty of company surrounding the boy. Stinging hands, soggy pants, and a boy named Dallas. Company and misery sure did seem to walk hand and hand down the path of Mathias’ personal hell. But his angel to pull him from these depths could not be seen. He was drowning. Misery and company, two best friends, two anchors dragging and pulling Mathias farther and farther until breathe would no longer come. Tragic.

"It's cold. Do you think you'd like to come to my friend's house with me? He could get us both a change of clothes, and maybe..” Mathias zoned out before the boy could even finish, what was he suggesting? That they do something? Together? In what sense? Mathias had heard story and story again of thigns that some guys did to other people, especially Edrys, whose father had raped her day in and day out. The idea that the suggestion was just a friendly request seemed alien, unlikely, and dangerous.

Yet, somehow, Mathias seemed unexplainably attracted to the idea. Fresh clothes, heat. That would easily get rid of one of the problems that currently stood before him, yet that would only increase the problem of Dallas. Was Dallas really a problem though? Firmly standing on the spot, Dallas was unmoving and almost threatening with his suggestion at least to Mathias. Threatening, inviting, both of them were the same thing really. Mathias was equally as unmoving, not wanting to move a limb in case that indicated a response that he hadn’t wanted to give.

Threatening and inviting, misery and company, Mathias and Dallas, everything seemed to be coming and pairs. Mathias and Dallas. That was interesting in itself that that had popped up. “Lead the way.” The words escaped his chapped lips before he could bite down on his tongue. Something in him wanted to go, get fresh clothes, try something new. Avoid Edrys. Something in his heart wanted him to walk away from the safe life of the girl with blonde hair and a smile that lured in many a salty sailor.

He could only oblige to that something in him.

[pika]

A sudden gust of wind blew past Dallas’s ears, turning them a blistering pink and rendering him completely deaf for a moment. His left ear, he was used to the lack of the ability to hear sound. His right was his only connection to sound, the only way that he could even communicate. When that was taken away, he was left utterly defenseless, completely alone. Left in the darkness of his own thoughts, he couldn’t help but succumb to the emotions of a panic attack.

As the wind whistled in his ear, Dallas stood rigid, straight up, confused and somewhat stupefied. He shook his head, trying to clear his head of the flurries of air. He could barely distinguish what Mathias had said to him; he thought it was something along the lines of an acceptance of his offer. Trying to brush off the fact that he had just had a small emotional breakdown, he smiled a fake smile and brushed his hair back, his curly locks tangling in his fingers as he tore through them.

“Let’s go, then,” Dallas muttered, embarrassed now from his tantrum, and trudged through the biting snow. It poured down heavily, continuing to flake them and their clothes with snow and ice. The darkness surrounded them, creeping in corners and huddling in the places where the dim light of the streetlamps could not penetrate. As brave as he liked to appear, Dallas had a slight fear of the darkness and shadows. He moved quicker and quicker with each passing moment, desperately trying to get out of the streets and into the comfort and familiarity of his friend’s home.

The door loomed ahead of them after a few more minutes of brisk walking, and Dallas hesitated no longer. He trudged onto the pathway of their house, and came up to face the front door. Lights glowed warmly from the windows facing the street, slightly covered by ratty, dusty curtains. Sounds poured into the street, laughter and a bit of music emanating from the main room. Dallas opened the door without even a signal of arrival, and stepped into the house.

Salutations wafted from the living room to Dallas’s left, and he turned almost mechanically to the sounds. He smiled, glad to see the faces and smiles of old friends. They were surrounding an old board game, and cards and little pieces that represented the player’s spot on the board littered the floor and couches. Empty and half-full bottles and glasses of alcohol were scattered about, and it was manifest that each person in the room was responsible for at least one or two of the empty glasses.

“Hi, guys,” Dallas breathed, scanning the room and pausing on each person’s face for a moment. “I’ve brought a friend. Come here and say hi, Mathias.”

[Wonder]

Mathias Gammeth

Living [F5F2EF]
Speaking [97D4D0]
Other People Speaking [D9FFA9]
Deep Thought [F0D99E]
Edrys [FCBBEB]

[/size]

The harsh winter winds had not been kind to Mathias, day in and out he'd had mishaps, falling, tripping over the unseen side walk curbs, hidden amongst the snow. He had never really been all that stable of a person, clumsy was probably a better word for it. When there was no snow attacking the ground and latching on to it, he was still falling everywhere. During the summer months it would be his own shoelaces, or the corner of a table. Stability and staying on his feet had never quite been one of his greater skills. The slippery ground, wet with snow had only provided a small little hell on earth to the small boy and his fragile feet. It was a game of russian roulette, each step a stronger likely hood that the bullet would come out of the barrel and knock him down, dead. But this wasn't a deadly game - this was nothing but walking down the street.

Coldness had slowly enveloped him like a blanket. Clothes soaked to the brim from his fall and refusal to stand back up right up, he trudged along the District Seven side walks attempting to follow the curly haired boy in front of him - Dallas, he said his name was. Lately, more and more people had been talking to him, well talking to him and not mocking him. This was a sensation that Mathias had seldom felt before, the joys of conversation without the slight hint of mockery and slandering. It was new. Everything was new these days. Here he was, walking down the streets late at night with a boy he'd only just met and only just introduced himself to. Mathias. Dallas. Dallas, another name to add to the people he knew now, the ever growing list. Never in Mathias' life had he had to remember so many names, so many people. Though he could still count the people he knew on his hands, it was an improvement from the four fingers he could count on before.

Sticking one finger out at a time, concentrating tirelessly on each flick of the finger, he counted. One - thumb, Mum the woman who'd given birth to her clumsy son, who couldn't abandon him despite how scary his life became, how scary he became. Two - index finger, Father. The man who'd helped in the whole process of his coming to this world, and the man who encouraged his living in it every single day. Three - middle finger, Jesse. The boy who despite coming from his school hadn't mocked him about Edrys, hadn't slandered her name or his and even offered to help. Four - ring finger, Dallas. The boy he'd bumped in to on the street, who hadn't mocked him, and had also offered to help. To help, every one was offering to help. Other thumb - Mr. Stinson, the man who'd given him his job and let him keep it. And despite the cuts on his fingers and the endless work - Mathias was ever grateful for the opportunity to do something. He never got to do anything any more. And lastly, he'd saved his pinky for Edrys - a promise. That's what she was, a promise.

Six fingers and he could count all the people he knew now - two more than before and still ever-growing. With every day walking down the street, and new person nodded their head, and a new person waved and said hello without giggling. The real world was steadily approaching, Mathias only had a year left before he could make his way into working at the paper factory full-time. His clothes were becoming irritable and sagging atrociously with wetness, and though he gained confidence with each careful shuffle along the side walks, the clothes were serving as an anchor to knock him down. "I don't mean to be rude Dallas, but are we close to being there yet?" Dallas was silent and kept walking forward, perhaps Mathias had been too silent, perhaps it hadn't been heard or even Dallas was so caught up in his own head as Mat was in his that he just forgot to answer.

Within minutes, they'd arrived. Where, Mathias wasn't too sure, but a bright light pierced under the doorway and the faint pounding of music vibrated through the door at a steady beat. He followed Dallas' quick footsteps into the entryway, scared and lost in his own town. Where was he? A party, it hit him so hard that Mathias almost screamed. A social gathering in a place he'd never been before with people he didn't know - or with people who knew him but constantly laughed at him. The smokey, drunken haze that shrouded the place was disgusting and something that Mathias had never experienced. This was a place where he didn't belong. "I - I have to go, I can't stay here." He whispered frantically at Dallas, the music gaining speed and the bass beats matching up with his heart rate. This was a world where he was least comfortable - and it was best if he didn't stay.

[/justify]

OOC: Lol so after almost four months, here ya go.[/size]

[pika]

The mix of sweat and alcohol stuck to everything in the room; no matter how many instances Dallas had been surrounded by it, he could never fully come to tolerate it. It irritated his nose and weaved itself into the fabric of his clothes. It did so now as he inspected the makings of the room once more, his nose wrinkling and his face squinting involuntarily. He had known these people for what seemed an eternity, yet he could not tell you more than their names and ages. Some he didn't even know that much. They were nothing more than stand-ins, mannequins to fill the empty voids in his life. Even if his family couldn't give him what he needed, these somewhat-random strangers could. And they did, for the time being. This doesn't mean that they patched the hole forever; just temporarily, enough so that Dallas could almost pretend like he knew what love was. Enough so that he wouldn't have to feel the pain of absolute worthlessness that he so often felt. It was enough.

Even with the stench overriding the fresh air that the two boys had just come from, nothing could compare to the warmth that came with it. With so many people huddled in such a small area, the house was warmer than he had expected, and Dallas was quick to strip down into his thinnest layers. The t-shirt he wore under it all was slightly damp, causing it to stick to his body. The features of his abdomen were easily visible, and his ribs poked against the fabric awkwardly and somewhat grotesquely. Despite the abundance of food he had in his home, it always seemed to go to waste rather than find itself in Dallas' stomach. He didn't have time for food; or rather, he just didn't have the urge for it.

A shot glass found itself in his hands suddenly; it was filled to the rim with an amber-colored liquid. He brought it to his nose, trying to place what it was. His eyes flickered up toward Mathias, who had a large look of unease and stress plastered on the boy's face. The boy's gaze scanned the room nervously and anxiously. Searching for a chance to escape. Dallas thrust the glass into the boy's hands, who almost dropped it out of pure surprise. "Drink up, buttercup," he said, his voice competing with the growing volume of the music. The pictures on the walls around them thumped and rustled with each pound of the music. The dusty frames presented smiling faces, but even the most naïve of minds could determine that they were nothing but fake. The tired, desolate things that were eyes stared back blankly and emotionlessly back at them, even though the smiles tried to make them think otherwise. This kind of picture was a common sight to Dallas; he had been forced to take these kinds of pictures more than he cared to remember.

Dallas watched the boy next to him place the glass to his lips. He seemed to be testing it, analyzing it as if it were something new. Had he never had a drink before? Dallas had never been one to spend time with people that were unlike him; he gave his time to people who liked to have fun and who enjoyed the occasional drink and party. The chance to find Dallas with a person like Mathias was rare if not completely nonexistent, and he himself wondered if he would be somewhere entirely different if not for him. Falling into the snow with the boy that stood before him had given him a reason to appear at this party. It gave him the chance to feel useful for once, to be able to not feel sorry for himself and instead place his energy into helping another person. The wide-eyed boy suddenly tilted the glass bottom-up and shot it down his throat. Dallas watched with slight amusement as Mathias was having obvious difficulties working it down; his face showed obvious discomfort, contorting as he reacted to the taste and texture of the drink. Dallas grabbed the glass from his hand swiftly and refilled it, this time completely to the rim. Drops slipped to the floor as he handed it back to the boy. Dallas gripped the entire bottle by the neck, the cool glass an icy opposite compared to his sweaty hands. “Cheers,” he said loudly, and bottom-upped his own glass.

-----------------

The couch sank in unnaturally as the two boys placed their weight upon it. The two girls that had been sitting there for what had seemed the entire party had finally acquired the urge to move, and Dallas had swooped in on the opportunity and claimed their places. Mathias trailed after him, and Dallas felt his presence as he sat down beside him. Dallas refilled the boy’s glass for what seemed like the tenth time, and then took his own swig out of the bottle. The final dregs slid down his throat as he finished the remnants of the bottle. He slammed it down eagerly on the table before them, the sudden noise causing everyone to turn their heads interestedly. He leaned back on the couch; feeling lightweight and spontaneous let him feel happy and allowed him to enjoy life, even if it was just for a short while. The dry mouth and pulsing headaches that arrived the next morning were small prices to pay for even just a small snippet of happiness.

Dallas looked over at Mathias then. He seemed significantly looser; his body was not so completely rigid and tense, and his eyes flickered around less. Maybe he was finally accepting that it was okay to be around people for once. Dallas had never had to learn that; his whole life he had been more than comfortable around the presence of others, and to be alone was one of his greatest fears in life. Surrounded by other people allowed him to feel accepted, loved, and wanted. Ever since his brothers had grown up and moved on, his parents had spent more time reliving their lives in the past than with their only remaining son. The only attention he received from them anymore was the constant belittling, and Dallas had learned to block that out as the time came and went. After all, it was easier to tune it out when you could only hear it from one ear, anyway.

He wondered what Mathias' life was like. Did he have people that loved him and cared for him, or was he surrounded by hate and degradation just as Dallas was? To be so completely afraid of human interaction must make life so much harder on him than it needed to be. Surely he must yearn for the company of others from time to time - a person can't be on their own forever. He pondered if Mathias had ever even had something of a relationship with someone. Let alone a romantic one, there was no way a kid so quiet and shy could have made friends with someone. The loud, boisterous ones like himself would not spare him a second glance, and the ones similar to Mathias would be too shy to introduce themselves in the first place. Had he ever found himself happy with another person?

He found his lips pressing against Mathias' then.