I'm Already There [Shine]

[arx]

||Belle Marie Ashe||

I'm already there.
Take a look around.
I'm the sunshine in your hair.
I'm the shadow on the ground.
I'm the whisper in the wind.
I'm your imaginary friend,
And I know I'm in your prayers.
Oh I'm already there.

My chest feels as if it were holding the entire weight of the world. Suffocation - I really don't want to die that way. If I had to die, anyway at all, I would want to slowly drift to sleep to the sound of a piano, or a violin. I don't want to die, not out here in the middle of nowhere, and certainly not all alone. I need a hand to grasp, something to hold onto and remember before I drift away into nothingness. I try hard to pull air into my lungs and I can only gasp in the minimal amount to save my life for anther few seconds. And then i will have to muster more strength in order to remain alive for another bout of seconds. How long before I am too weak to pull in another breath? How long before the weight on my chest is too much to handle? Tears stream down my cheeks, silently, accompanied by no sobs or shudders through my body. The trees above me are blurred, swirling into the sky, swaying as if they wanted to fall on me. I gasp again, my life still intact. But I feel light headed. My mind whirls with memories - or at least I think they are memories. But hallucinations are also possible given the state I am in. I try to calm down. Try to move my legs, hands, fingers, but nothing moves. I am paralyzed by my fears, scared of what might happen to me out here. What if they are still looking?

I need to calm down. I need to breathe, slowly and deeply to fill my lungs with the crisp night air, but my fear won't let me. Instead she sits on my chest above me, growing larger and larger, her weight becoming greater and greater. I want to push her off of me, pin her beneath me, and spit in her face but I still can't move. She strokes my face and gestures to a spot behind me. She grasps my face, pushing against my chin until I can see what is behind me. And even through my tears I can see them: my parents. They stand there, staring at me with dead, cloudy eyes, blood dripping down their faces from a bullet hole in each of their heads. I hear a scream, and my throat scratches, but I don't think the scream is mine. It sounds too far away to possibly be mine. Fear laughs above me, a raspy sound that only makes me feel more delusional than I already am. I blink and blink and blink some more but nothing changes. My parents are gone but the Peacekeepers are surrounding me. Their guns shine, even in the moonlight as if they were stars that had fallen to the ground. Or perhaps balls of fire that have risen from hell. And without warning, I find the strength to thrash on the ground. I close my eyes, knowing I am only thinking up all of the figures that walk towards me. They are not real, they are not real, they can't be ...

And when I will my eyes the strength to open again, there is nothing. She - the fear - she is gone. I sit up, rubbing my eyes of all wetness. My breathing is fast now, but I am gasping, still unable to get enough air. I want more, it feels so amazing to breathe again. My head aches, my chest aches; it all aches, all over my body. I manage to get to my feet, using a tree to support me or only a moment, before it all comes rushing back to me. I just got away from Reedsburg. Someone had started a small fire as a distraction. I had run as far as I could until I found myself collapsing of exhaustion. But the forest, I hate it out here. My greatest fears live out here. I am all alone. fear is back again, grasping my shoulder whispering in my ear. She says it is just ahead of me. I should be afraid. I swallow hard and swipe at my shoulder, stepping forward and forcing myself to stay on my feet. The task is much harder than I thought it might be but I continue anyway. I don't know where I am suppose to go. I lift my head from my feet and into the distance and discover fear was not lying. It is ahead of me. A man - a Peacekeeper, my father? I stop, and squint but the figure only blurs more. And then I am back on the ground unable to maintain balance, wanting so badly to curl up in a soft bed and drift away.

I close my eyes trying to ignore the hallucination that is walking towards me. It has to be a hallucination, right? I push it from my mind. I roll onto my side, clutching my knees to my chest, wanting nothing more than to sleep. The hoots of owls are the opposite of soothing, just as the grass that tickles my cheek stings, and I think maybe fear will just keep waking me through the night. I run my hand behind my ear and down my neck until I reach the hem of my shirt. A piano plays in the distance and all I can do is sing along. "Give me something to believe in. A breath from the breathing, so write it down. I don't think that I'll close my eyes cause lately I'm not dreaming, so what's the point in sleeping? It's just that at night I've got nowhere to hide. So I write you a lullaby."

I open my eyes again, blinking in the darkness. I know he is here now - the man that was walking towards me. The man that fear told me about. Is he listening? Does he care? Is he holding a gun to my head, waiting for me to look into his eyes? I only blink at the feet that stand before me. I know I should be scared but I am done with that. I am just so tired. I whisper at his feet, imagining that they could be his eyes. "I'm Belle." His feet don't respond, or if he does I don't hear it. Only more forest sounds. "I only want to sleep."

I'm already there.
Don't make a sound.
I'm the beat in your heart.
I'm the moonlight shining down.
I'm the whisper in the wind,
And I'll be there until the end.
Can you feel the love that we share?
Oh I'm already there.

[Deleted]

.//cristobal ryan corcoran

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The man of a thousand faces
Sit down at the table
Eats a lump of sugar
And smiles at the moon like he knows her
And begins his quiet ascension

My feet walks lightly over the fallen crisps leaves which crackles as I hover above them in the lush green forests. The leaves underneath me is the color of antiquity, withered and old. They didn't belong to the mighty branches of the youthful tree so they fall and wither, they are the odd one out among the greens on the tree just like I am in the district I once called home. For the very least they aren't alone in being different there were hundreds, thousands and maybe just maybe even millions of them, which was also very unlike me due to the fact that I am alone. No you aren't you have us, a whisper escapes the lips of the spirit beside me, she looks at me with little eyes that stares right back into my very being. It is different if a person looks you in the eye, you could feel the weight of their stare, but if it's a spirit it's like your putting your soul on display for them to see, as if your a sign saying "COME IN AND STARE AT MY SOUL". Dropping my eyes to the ground I continue to walk on as if nothing happened.

My senses tell me she was following me for I feel the chill that radiates from her soul, it touched my bear skin which made the hair on my arms stand on it's end. I know I could not escape them, this is a very new spirit that is approaching me because I never heard or saw her before in my old district. Not even in the house of the man that kidnapped me and brought me here. My legs started to walk in a manner that made me look like a robot. I want to stop and ask, but once they begin they will never stop. They would talk on for hours even days without stopping, but my conscience is telling me to here her out because it was my father who killed her, and that the leas I could do is to lighten up the pain in getting stuck in the cadge of sorrow. Then I just stop.

She catches up to me in three minutes, but she doesn't speak she just stops and stares at me. Her features are unique, straight brunet hair as dark as the color of oak, an oval shaped face with a sharp chin. It is really unusual for her not to relate anything to me. No background story, no grunts of anger, there was just nothing.

Then I look back ahead, I am walking aimlessly through the forest, just an escape from all the screaming and whispering of the spirits in the house. It is really unsettling to know there is an afterlife which means whatever evil we do here would affect our after life, just like the saying goes for every action there will be a reaction, or at least that's what I think for I wasn't very smart in school. Now and then I throw looks back at the spirits direction, but she still does not talk, not a peep from her would be heard. A silent stalker. Fear started to creep into my body, this is an unusual feeling for me because I never felt this before I got used to their presence. There was also another settling thought, I was in the middle of the forest but this girl is the only spirit I see. Usually the forest would have pack of them because the soil would hold the spirit of a wanderer or any person for that matter that wasn't able to find food. Their souls would be screaming because of their hunger, and usually I would be the one helping them recover. This was different it is as if she was putting a barrier around me, as if I were her property. My breathing slowed, I need to get a hold of myself I should not loose control here, no one would be able to help me. A wave of serenity starts to pass through my body, I whip my head back to the girl and she is smiling.

I couldn't help but smile too, this is the first someone ever treated me with kindness. She might have felt the fear in me. Now I feel nothing but calmness, for the first time I am at peace. I continue on ahead to my little adventure, my limbs were not stiff anymore. My legs were back to normal, compared to when I started it was stiff and painful to locomote. My arms were fluttering with the winds like it is leaf flying with the breeze, I could rotate my head now. Everything is fine, for the first time in my life. I should thank her for the help she has given me. Unconsciously my head turns "Than- ", I started but she isn't there anymore. My brows scrunch together. When did she leave?, I never noticed she stop following me.

I shake my daze away, it is her choice that she stopped following me. I have no fault for her leaving, probably she did what she had to do and maybe just maybe she was sent to comfort me. I continue on my hike, whispers started to cover my ears and then I knew my happiness is over. Then I see a familiar shape it's the girl with blonde hair again, but somehow she seems real. I couldn't know if I am imagining things so I came closer. Then I start to hear a voice, it is, I think it's singing. "Give me something to believe in. A breath from the breathing, so write it down. I don't think that I'll close my eyes cause lately I'm not dreaming, so what's the point in sleeping? It's just that at night I've got nowhere to hide. So I write you a lullaby." I knew this could not be the spirit for she just spoke once and her voice isn't like this one. I inch forward almost in a power walk I need to see if this was for real. She is now just a foot away from me, her head bowed as if she is worshiping me. "I'm Belle.", she says still starring at my feet. I never asked for her name, why did she tell me her name, probably she is an insane spirit for she is speaking to my feet. "I only want to sleep.", what the hell is she talking about now. She wants to sleep then she should go home! I lift my fingers and inched my hand till it touched her cranium, it's firm! "You're real!"

NARRATION -- [ 312C20 ]
SPEAKING -- [ E2CB92 ]
EMPHASIS -- [ B3A176 ]
OTHERS SPEAKING/THE DEMONS -- [ 7C7052 ]
THOUGHTS -- [ 494D4B ]

[[occ: sorry for this late post life caught up with me xD]]

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[arx]

||Belle Marie Ashe||

I'm already there.
Take a look around.
I'm the sunshine in your hair.
I'm the shadow on the ground.
I'm the whisper in the wind.
I'm your imaginary friend,
And I know I'm in your prayers.
Oh I'm already there.

The only sounds that fill the forest are the sounds of insects chirping, clicking, and buzzing. It's almost too easy to close my eyes. I ignore the boots which are still in front of my face, knowing that if I think long enough and hard enough about something else they will eventually go away. So I drift away, thinking only about the sounds of the forest, no matter how terrifying I find them. But the shoes don't disappear, even with my eyes shut tight. I reach out, feeling the rough leather beneath my fingertips, and quickly pull away when the boots do not evaporate in my fingers. Suddenly, I have the urge to giggle. This isn't a dream - I've done this before. I scrunch as far under the queen sized bed as I can, but he kneels to the ground, peeking under the bed with a "Boo!" and me as my little self declares, "You found me!" and begins to giggle endlessly as he pulls me out from under the bed, tickling me until I nearly pee my pants. Then he picks me up, and holds me above his head, flying me around like an airplane before throwing me back on the bed. "Again, again!" And then he collapses face first into the comforter and pillows and pretends to sleep. I crawl onto his back, laying my head right between his shoulder blades, listening to his breathing and smiling every time I felt my head rise as he took a deep breath. Then I reach up head up, whispering softly in his ear. "I love you, Daddy."

"And I love you, Belle."

My eyes fly open as I feel fingers on my head, touching my hair. The boots are still there and if this were any other situation, I might have reached out to touch them. But I'm in the forest; not the Capitol, hiding under a bed, pressed against a clean, white rug, waiting for my dad to find me. I'm in the place where my dad died and the fact is, there is someone real out here. Only Peacekeepers come in the woods, right? They search for the people who run away, who want to run away from the government and from the world and then catch them and kill them - or maybe cut their tongues out ... I swat the hand off my head, scrambling to my feet and backing away as quickly as possible. My heart pounds in my chest and I swear the whole forest has to be able to hear it. I swallow hard and try to gasp in a breath but find I can't. I stand motionless. I want to run or scream or something but my body does nothing, standing as rigid and rooted as the trees that surround me.

But my mind is telling me something else. I know this person. I have known a lot of people in my life; musicians, actors, directors. But this is a more familiar figure, even if a bit of an oddity to see. But it there is no way he is a Peacekeeper. No uniform, no weapons, and the fact that I am still alive pretty much gives him away as just another kid in the woods. Which makes me wonder if maybe he isn't real - a person out in the woods all alone, yeah right. I swallow and try to find words. "Of course I'm real! I mean wha -" I stumble for more words to pop into my brain. What question do I want to ask? "Who - Do I know you?" The words are no more than a whisper and I wonder if he will be able to hear them over all the sounds of the forest. And I suddenly become aware of everything that is around me again. Bats, bugs, bears - I hate it out here.

I hear a screeching owl in the distance and gasp at how much the noise startles me. I've always hated that sound. I prefer the song birds much more. Or if my mother sang a tune to the mockingjays. But the screeches of an owl only frighten me and remind me of the screams that I sometimes hear in my dreams. I find myself stepping towards the mysterious man. If he were going to attack me, he would've already, right? But I don't have time to watch him, I have to focus on everything else. I find myself starting to panic, twirling around, trying to see everything at once. But it's too dark - I can't see anything, But I know things are there, things that are waiting t kill me when they think I'm not looking. I trip backwards over a tree root, but find my balance again almost immediately. Just before I back into something hard. I turn quickly and see I'm right where the boy is.

I step back from him again, trying to look a little less panicked, but I can't keep my voice from shaking. "S-Sorry."

I'm already there.
Don't make a sound.
I'm the beat in your heart.
I'm the moonlight shining down.
I'm the whisper in the wind,
And I'll be there until the end.
Can you feel the love that we share?
Oh I'm already there.

[Deleted]

.//cristobal ryan corcoran

[/center]

Everyday I feel the same
Stuck and I could never change
Sucked into a black balloon
Spat into an empty room
Was it really worth it?

In the middle of a dense forest, a lot of things could trick your eyes into seeing things that aren't really there. An illusion of some sort at times you may see it as a dear or even a human, but that isn't the case for me because I see souls, wandering souls all the time. But I swear to God I have seen this girl a moment ago walking with me, and if I haven't been imagining things, which I rarely do, the time I was with her I felt like she was somehow protecting me from the souls that would scream whisper next to me about the things my father did to them. All I would ever do is to listen attentively to try to ease them out of their misery, like a lubricant. I'm like their savior from this terrible world. Sadly now that girl suddenly disappeared, so did the feeling of comfort and warmth which I infrequently get a hold of. But now it seems that she suddenly appeared in front of me again, but this time as a real person, a living & breathing human whose cranium I just felt under the skin of my extended finger just now. Never have I imagined a soul that would come back as a person. Sweat dripped of from my brows sliding down my face unto the tip of my chin from where it fell to the ground to be part of it.

As quickly as my sweat seeped into the earth beneath me so did the female move. Quickly she swats my hand away as if it is an annoying fly in her way, and no one ever does that to me and gets away with it. Suddenly she's on her feet and eyes blaring into my soul, starring at me like I'm some kind of monster out of a story book. "Of course I'm real! I mean wha -" she stops trying to figure out what else to say, I could tell because of the way she looks at me, it is a look of distrust and uncertainty which is very acceptable because I thought she was a soul or something but she turned out to be real and we also met in the middle of a forest where people shouldn't be wandering around which is very very unusual.

"Who - Do I know you?" she says. As far as my memory can go I have not met her until this day, but it could be possible that she really is the spirit who I met moments ago. Looking around I notice that the forest is getting darker and darker, probably this girl had bumped her head somewhere and forgot everything or something because I have never met her like ever. My head turns to her direction, I see that curious look on her face as if she is seeing this place for the first time ever. An owl screeches from far away and it reminds me of the time my father killed my mom. Up to now her screams still echoes in my head. My mind sinks into it's old self again, the whispers then start to cloud my head. Kill her, follow your fathers foot steps go on kill her before she kills you! No I will never follow him I would rather die than follow him and I knew this girl could not kill me, or at least I think she can't. Then my head starts to feel like its spinning rapidly, the forest is closing in on me, the spirits started to appear one by one and suddenly she bumps me. "S-Sorry." she says turning around and then everything begins to go back to normal, but I could still see them all around glaring at me. "No worries" I tell her absent-minded, then it struck me, "Excuse me Belle, could you perhaps try and sing for me?" asking her nicely because I knew her voice was the one I heard a few minutes seconds ago. And it is the only thing that cold protect me.

NARRATION -- [ 312C20 ]
SPEAKING -- [ E2CB92 ]
EMPHASIS -- [ B3A176 ]
OTHERS SPEAKING/THE DEMONS -- [ 7C7052 ]
THOUGHTS -- [ 494D4B ]

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