.the /end/ of time. {Leskor AU}

[Rosetta]

Lethe Turner

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It wasn’t unusual for Lethe Turner to wake in the middle of the night, gasping for breath. Even before the Games, Lethe found herself thrust from her sleep and into the cruel night, chest heaving, eyes wide as she swung her hand over to her nightstand to retrieve the photograph there. Then, she’d agonize over it for hours on end, trying, trying to hard to make sense of the sea of white before her to, recognize the girl who sat next to her, that was Lethe, she knew that was Lethe Turner, herself, but the girl next to her. They said this was her family and she believed it…almost. Which was the boy she’d taught to ride just a few days ago? Which one, which one?

It’s been years since the Games where Lethe didn’t sleep at all, waiting silently for death to befall her, but that photo was still on her nightstand in her new room in the Victor’s Village. The same as it had always been. Propped up against her lamp, smiling out at her as she slept. Except, one face had been whited out by her mother.

The face of a monster, it was.

No longer did Lethe wake to grab for it, but rather to throw it aside, a terrible reminder that her dear, confused mother, denial, always in denial she was, would pick up and replace without a word. Now, Lethe woke for different reasons. For the nightmares that plagued her since she heard her name called out to a silent crowd. “Lethe Turner!” The blood that poured into her mind, drowning her. The screams that deafened her, the silver blades that literally blinded her and sometimes, Lethe would be standing in a crowded room, crying and screaming, but no one heard her, just fussed over her hair, always perfect, her make up, rosy cheeks, bright green eyes, smile, Lethe smile, look pretty, dear![/i] and her posture, sit up, Lethe, sit up, and smile, laugh, don’t look so sad, my dear, my Victor, you’re a Victor, you’re here, smile![/i]

Lethe Turner hadn’t smiled for real since Eden had been born and before that, not since before the Games. Sometimes, Lethe just wanted to carry out those dreams and instead of smiling like they told her, scream and cry and maybe, just maybe they’d notice. Lethe may have lived, but twenty three other children didn’t and under their weight, Lethe ached.

Tonight, Lethe wasn’t in the Arena, nor was she in the room, but rather in some kind of funhouse. The last time she’d visited the Capitol, she’d taken Eden. She was walking and talking and Lethe couldn’t bear to be without her and there was still that hope, that small hope…but Lethe had brought Eden to a thing called a fair. Fairs in District Five, with a few stalls and one or two street performers, were nothing compared to the Capitol’s and the two had gorged themselves on cotton candy and Lethe had gotten Eden every single one of the stuffed animals that she pointed to and whined about. However, just as the day was drawing to a close and Eden was yawning and burying her blonde hair into Lethe’s neck, they came across the funhouse. And had an escort, who had been deployed to make sure Lethe didn’t run herself into situations like this and cause a scene, not been there, Lethe just might’ve brought Eden inside. It was only then did Lethe learn what a funhouse contained and shivered in hour.

But, tonight, she dreamed of it. Mirrors, mirrors everywhere. Surrounding her. A maze of them and for miles and miles, Lethe Turner stood, staring at herself in horror. And miles and miles away, Lethe formed and quivering and changed. Her claws grew sharp and long and eyes widened and widened, bloodshot, bloody face, matted hair, blood, blood everywhere. It covered her hands and coated the mirrors and she screamed and screamed.

Monster. Monster. Monster.

And finally, Lethe was able to tug herself from the dream, gasping for breath, in horror, the monster from her slumber. For a long time, Lethe sat up on her elbows, her chest heaving, tears dribbling from her eyes, both the real and fake one. She tried to pant it all out, sweat it all out, all of the poison, but it was like a virus. It never left. They never left.

And just like that, Lethe became vaguely aware that she wasn’t alone. And when she slowly raised her eyes from her pale, trembling hands, she gasped. “Razor, Saskia.”

They sat on the edge of her bed, celestial beings and Lethe’s heart soared. Saskia was lovely as ever, the same brown-haired girl that Lethe could finally recognize and no longer did it appear that her eyes were blank. And there was Razor. Death had softened his fierce looks and this time, he actually smiled at her and Lethe knew she should be scared, but instead, their appearance put her at ease and her churning stomach relaxed and her fingers stopped quivering at once and now, Lethe found an urge to reach out to them and just feel their skin one last time…but, the more she reached, the farther away they seemed until they were at her bedroom door. “No wait!” Lethe cried, heart racing for she couldn’t bear to lose them again. Not again. Throwing her blankets away, Lethe rose from her bed and followed them out of the door, in some sort of trance that knew she was dreaming, she had to be, but for once, it tasted so sweet.

The hallway wasn’t as she remembered it, but rather hot and dry, the ground parched under her feet and as she walked, her rippling nightgown turned into cargo pants and her bare feet became clasped in boots and her hands pushed away shrubs and branches eagerly. She knew where she was and it was a black stain on her heart, but with their bodies just whipping out of sight in front of her, Lethe felt safe.

And finally, she caught up with them in a clearing of the first jungle they met and her shirt was bloodstained with Anya’s fluids when she fell before them on that cracked ground, not sure whether to smile or sob. “Oh my goodness,” she found herself gasping out, her lips moving so quickly, forming soundless words, all the words she could find, but none of them audible until finally, she was able to swallow hard and cry out, “you’re here! You’re here! I…I…I,” she faltered, her voice lowering and again, her eyes found her bloodied hands that sent shivers galloping down her spine, “I have so much to tell you.”[/size][/color][/blockquote]

[charade]

Hmph.


I really shouldn't have to.


...


No, no I understand why this has to be done.

Why not Seah though? She killed him too.

Ah. Locked up with the brothers from one? Pity.

He didn't seem like that much of a bad sort.

Saskia will come along as well?

I see.

Complete control you say?

Fine.

She better appreciate this. Its not every day you take some time off of eternity to...

Well.

She'll know soon enough.

The room came into focus sharply, like a television screen that was just switched on. Razor found himself standing at the foot of an ornate bed. That was the word he chose to use, but it wasn't like he could actually feel the floorboards beneath his feet. He examined his body mildly, noticing that he shimmered and shone in a way that was surprisingly ethereal. Looking around, he could only see two other beings in the room, neither of which were his companion. No, the lizard and the blond girl slumbered on, and Razor rolled his eyes impatiently. She did always like to sleep, didn't she? The former tribute from district two had been sent to this for a single reason, a reason he could appreciate, but he would have liked it better if he had been able to stay in his timeless house with his love instead of shuffling back to the mortal plane for a chat.

A form shimmered into existence off to his left and he smiled. He had known she'd be along shortly, but she never failed to light up his day, even in a place where time didn't exist. Anything that he wished to say was cut off as Lethe awoke into a deeper state of dreaming, gasping and shivering from her sleep. Razor smirked in amusement as she tried to touch them, but was unable too. That was the way things worked. Snapping his fingers, he walked towards the bedroom door and beckoned for her to follow. A dreamscape was coming together in the hallway and soon they'd be in a place that was quite familiar. The sounds of wildlife skittered about as the area resolved itself into a portion of the fifty-eighth hunger games arena. The place where the three of them had met and decided to travel together.

He willed himself into wearing a set of the same outfit they had all worn, and did the same for Lethe, whether she knew it or not. Razor smiled softly at her words and inhaled deeply at the scenery around them. This was more for effect than for anything else, as he no longer required air."Four years is more time than one would think."


"You might wonder why we here, or maybe why we haven't come here before."

Raising an eyebrow, he fixed one eye on her and shrugged.

"It's...complicated. But let's hear what you have to say as we walk shall we?"

A hand was waved, and the scene dissolved, reforming with copies of each of the three of them, and that of two mutts, two vicious canines that Lethe would know very well.

"It's quite alright."He said mildly as he saw the look on her face.

"They can't see you, and are much more interested in attacking the you and I from four years hence."

His hand found Saskia's and he regarded the living girl again.

"So. Out with it. What did you wish to tell us?
We have much to tell you ourselves."

[sbeeg]

Saskia Hamilton

Yes.

I could not even pretend like I didn't want to go. The second the offer was in the air I craved it. If it had been a tangible object I would have snatched it up right then and there and never let go. It isn't everyday in the afterlife you get the opportunity to slip out and visit an old friend. It wasn't just the meeting I was overjoyed about, it was the seeing. I would be able to see Lethe for the first time and that was more than I could ever ask for.

Then I was there. Just like that, standing in the girl's room with all the sights assaulted my newly found senses. The room was dim, but my eyes swept over everything in the room anyway. They even passed over my own hands that seemed to set off a light glow and if I squinted I could see through them to the sleeping figure rolled up in blankets that began to stir.

I couldn't help myself, I rushed over to her bedside and sat down next to her. Her hair was the first thing I noticed and I couldn't take my eyes off of it. So light, nothing like Razor's or mine. They were dark and straight but Lethe's... it was like a cloud, almost white in a halo around her head. Her skin was even different: paler, smoother. By nature I'm a touchy person, always feeling the need to make physical contact with something in order to understand it. Only now my shimmering fingers couldn't touch my friend no matter how hard I tried. She awoke then, staring at us and I stared right back, able to look her in the eye.

Green. Razor had described the color to me before. The color of grass, of leaves and of the earth. Nature's default. Now I have it. I have a face to put to the name "Lethe Turner, Victor of the 58th Hunger Games." I waited four years for the chance to see her eyes and now I have. Green like the earth, bound to it longer than I was.

“Razor, Saskia.”

A grin spread across my lips because now it all comes full circle. Her voice was the seal on this pretty little present. It's her. It's Lethe. It's my Lethe.

I had to tear myself away, walking with Razor as the room changed, melting into another place I didn't recognize. Yet there was something there that felt familiar. I let my eyelids fall and breathed in the air of the dream. It had the heavy scent of earth, sweat and the metallic tinge of blood. The Arena.

It was the color of Lethe's eyes. Giving and plentiful. Looking up, the expanse of sky was familiar too- Razor's eyes. Blue, muddled by thin clouds. My gaze went everyone, taking in the sight in front of me until they drifted down to my feet. Soil was sitting beneath my boots, the toe of which was smudged with the crimson blood of a mutt. Razor said that my eyes were brown now and gray while they had been glazed over and unseeing. Brown like tree roots and soil. Earth, leaves and sky. How could so much be hidden away from me for so long?

Lethe's voice called me back to the present and I whirled around to see her. Her nightclothes had morphed into the Arena uniform, the front of her shirt covered in blood. That must have been where the smell had been coming from. Her cheeks were flushed pink, her eyes wide as she took us in. Her voice was a welcomed reminder of my living days and I savored the sound of it, watching her hair fall around her shoulders.

I wanted to hold her. I craved the feeling of her in my arms again. I held myself back, knowing the attempt would be useless. Razor's hand found mine and I clamped my fingers around his grateful that I could hold someone.

"You look beautiful," I blurted out. Not very mysterious or ghost-like but I couldn't keep the words back. A wild grin overlook my face and my fingers gripped Razor's even tighter than before.

Lethe Turner: Light hair. Green eyes. Pale skin. Living. Breathing. Beautiful.

[Rosetta]

Lethe had dreamed of them before, but those dreams had been different, so far removed from what she was witnessing now. In those dreams, she was too late to save Saskia, killing Razor, blood pouring over her hands, mouth open wide, screaming and crying, bleeding, her eye gorged out by the terrible mutt that killed Anya, dying, dying…

But here, Lethe was perfectly safe. She could see herself fighting, see Saskia and Razor, but they weren’t the ones, shining just so, before her. She felt warm and safer and Saskia’s words only filled her up. Beautiful. She’d called her beautiful. Her lower eyelids heavy with her dead friend’s kindness, she reached forward, hoping to cling to her soft skin, but again, she was so far and Lethe could only whisper, her voice cracked and strained, “Thank you, thank you, Saskia. You are too. You’re gorgeous.” She was. Lethe always thought so. The beautiful girl who woke her up every day even though she wasn’t sure who she was. An angel. She was the one who protected her from that sullen by on her other side who now spoke.

"So. Out with it. What did you wish to tell us? We have much to tell you ourselves.”

Even Razor’s aloft attitude, just like always, couldn’t break her. He’d tried to save me from his cold steel. She could still hear his words. “I don’t want to have to kill you Lethe.” But, they met anyway and she could feel how split he was. Asking about Camalia, telling her about Saskia and- “Freak.” The word burned, sliding under her skin like salt and she cringed against him suddenly in this dream, her eyes widened, but her fake eye wasn’t in. It was an empty socket. Lethe’s fingers longed to lunge for it, to slid her fingers over the glassy surface that was her fake eye, to remind herself that, in fact, it was there and she was just creeping herself out, but no…her gaze shifted to Saskia and she forced herself to take a deep breath. She hadn’t been there to see, or rather hear, her boyfriend take Lethe’s eye. She needn’t know.

But, then again, she knew how Lethe had taken Razor’s life.

Swallowing down the hard lump in her throat, Lethe forced a smile. “I can recognize you guys now!” Yeah, but not myself, keep me away from mirrors. I am a monster. A scaly, fire-breathing monster and I will rip your skin from your bodies and taste you, smell you, feel you, know you, but not myself. “I know that you’re Saskia,” she smiled at the girl and this time it was genuine because Saskia could see her and it filled her eyes with something wet, “and you’re Razor.” A fabricated smile. They both felt the tension. “And, and!” Her eyes lit up now like lamps. “I have a daughter. A little girl named Eden. You really need to see her. She…she’s beautiful.” Lethe dropped her head, her cheeks red. “I got pregnant at the end of my victory tour…and I thought of you two…”

It had been in jealousy when she beheld her swollen stomach, tears leaking from her eyes. Her child was a bastard, conceived in a bathtub with a man she barely knew. She would never know the real love that Saskia and Razor felt for each other when they clasped hands, electricity in between them, when all Lethe had felt when she held his hand was thick lust…For a terrible moment, she felt her eyes narrow at them, felt a frown furrowing deep on her face until she realized with a giggle that turned into a laugh that turned in a body-shuddering sob that they were dead and there was nothing to be jealous of.

She didn’t say any of this though, but rather hung her head, taking deep, quivering breaths that didn’t reach her lungs, but stopped at that stone of a heart as she whispered, “I miss you guys so much…there’s not a day that goes by when I don’t think of you.”

When she couldn’t look in the mirror and felt the weight of lack of sight. The inability to see one’s self.

When she pulled her fake eye out with a squelch and felt the weight of loss of friendship. The inability to look past the glories of gold (it isn’t glorious, Razor, it’s hell) and see life.

But these were all left unsaid. Lethe had years to talk whilst Razor and Saskia had none.

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