LOEWEN, Vitani; district 9 [fin]

[Naya]

I am Vitani.
I am from District Nine.
I am female.
I am seventeen.
Some people say I look a lot like Perrie Edwards.
The Lion King
Odair.

Bright blonde hair brought down in curls. That would most likely be the first thing you would notice about Vitani Loewen. I'm glad for my bright blonde hair, it came from my Mother's side of the family. Both my grandparent's had it when they were children. I remember my Opi and Opah. They were quite eccentric people. My older sister, Moti, used to have blonde hair. That's why multiple people thought we were twins because we both shared the same height and hair colour, like a lot of siblings. I sometimes put my hair in a headband, a gift from my grandparent's when I was 13. I still use it to this day.

I have big blue eyes identical to both my father and my mother. Some people may debate that they're grey but I like to think that they're blue. My eyes are usually wide open, and big like a deer caught in headlights. I can keep my eye lids open for a while, and I don't have a lazy eye. Both of my eyes stay wide open, even if I'm tired or in a bad mood. That's why a lot of people say that I look happy most of the time, although in most cases it's the other way around. My eyebrows are thin and pointed, despite the fact my family has the bushy eyebrow curse, or at least my dad does.

My head is more circular then oval, and my cheeks are a bit big, but somehow my cheekbones show. I like to think that I have unique facial features, but I'm not even exactly sure if I am. I look a lot like my mother, people say. I would say so, too, but she is much more pretty then I am despite her being much older. I have full lips, my bottom lip is nice and big and people often joke that I'd make a good kisser because of my large lips. Although I've never actually kissed someone. My nose is pretty small and flat, like a button. It's not very pointy. I have small ears, not inhumanly small, but you can consider them pretty small. My voice is deep, but sweet. I can sing, a little. I can hit high notes, but singing isn't really something you can make a living out of in District 9, unless I want to live on the street like homeless do and busk.

I'm not exactly that tall. I'm not even sure what exact height I am, but if I were to guess I'd say 5'4 to 5'5 feet tall. I guess it's safe to say that I'm not short, but I'm not tall either. I'm about average height for a grown woman. I hate it how a lot of people tower over me, even though a lot of people I'm the same height as. As for my weight, I'm honestly not even sure. I'm not exactly underweight, but I know I'm nearing it due to where I live and my family isn't doing very well money wise. I'd say I'm around 110 pounds or so? Maybe a little smaller.

My fashion sense is simple. I mean, extremely simple. I can't afford fancy stuff. The only dress I own is my reaping outfit, a v neck dress that's completely black. It comes down to my knees, and it's spaghetti strapped. It was a hand me down from Moti. I got pretty much all of her clothes since she left. During the Summer I'm usually wearing a t-shirt and knee high shorts. In the Spring I'm usually wearing the same thing, but with a sweater covering me if it's cold. In Winter I'm all bundled up, a fleece jacket, scarf, mittens. All of that.

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I've been told by my grandparent's that my name, Vitani, meant 'war and battle' in an old wiped out language. Little did I know then it fit my personality perfectly. I'm aggressive, and I get flamed at the slightest of insult. If someone insults me, guaranteed there will be me flinging myself at somebody, whether I actually get into a fight or not. That's something about me, I'm just an ill-tempered little girl. I'm not exactly that good at throwing insults at other people, meaning I can't do anything to handle myself from attacking another person. My advantage? I'm pretty strong for a girl in my physical body. Or at least, that's what I like to think.

I'm extremely good at lying. I've held a big secret on me for a few years now just from lying. I've noticed people's body language when they lie. When people lie, they don't deny it, instead they say "Do you really think I'd do that?". They also bite their lips often. I've noticed all of these body languages for years now, and for that I know how to lie. And trust me, I lie a lot. For years I've been a lone wolf, only having the only friend I've had for years by my side. I don't like crowds, that's why I dread reaping time every year. I'd do anything to get out of that crowd. I could say I'm a little claustrophobic, but not as claustrophobic as some people. I don't really have the phobia itself where I'd scream and thrash to get out of tight spaces.

Thing is, about being a loner, I'm really talkative. I mean, extremely. It sometimes annoys me to no end. I can be talking for ages. Which isn't really fair to the person listening because I'm not a very good listener. I always have to be talking. You could bare some of that resemblance to my older sister, Moti, but I'm definitely not as self-centered as she was. Even if I am just a tad bit self-centered.

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My life has been full of ups and downs. Full of death and murder, rejoice and happiness, friends and enemies, sadness and recovery. I may have made that sound more happy then I like. Well, let me just tell you the story from my lips right now.

I was the second child of Mckinley and Meredith Loewen. The Loewen’s were famous for the small toy store that they owned and operated in the middle of the District Square. My eldest and only sister, Moti, was not anticipating the arrival of myself and spent her days ignoring the small child that was always needing her parent’s attention. Moti was sent right away to work on the fire, that kept our quaint home warm all winter long. You could say Moti was jealous. Really jealous. Moti wanted to be the center of attention. She didn’t want to be working on the fires.

I grew older, and older, and soon enough, the fires that Moti used to tame was now my duty. My older sister was supposed to be teaching me, but instead scolded me, and used hot tongs to throw still burning coal embers at me when I made an error. One time, she pushed me into the fire. My body didn’t touch the fire, but my ends of my hair started burning, and making them charred and all tossed to each side. My charred hair fell out, leaving me with short hair and not the chest length hair I loved. I swore to that day, I would get revenge on Moti. She would pay for the scars, charred hair and calluses she gave me.

“Get to work, retard! I don’t want to die of pneumonia!’

“It’s cold in here. I wonder why our family isn’t dead yet because of the crappy firemaker we have.”

“You can’t even make a decent fire. No wonder you have no friends, you retard.”

Moti was the most disrespectful person I had ever met, and that was coming from me. She hit me, she tormented me. She made my life a living hell. And it already was, enough.

Moti came downstairs to watch me tend the fire one night. She examined me, and then she made a look of disgust, and before she could open her mouth, I ran up to her and punched her in the nose. I used all the force I could, and it left her with a beaten, bloody, bruised, and broken nose. I was shocked at the impact I took on my sister who was much bigger then I was. I took her by the collarbone, and said, “Tell Mom and Dad that I did this, and I murder you.” My sister was afraid of more broken body parts, so she reluctantly said yes, and they never knew that I broke my own sister’s nose.

My sister feared me from then on. I didn’t realize what I had become. A monster in disguise of a 14 year old girl. One night, while I was lying in bed, I realized. I still hadn’t got my sister back for throwing me in the fire. All of the scars and calluses she has cost me. Apparently breaking her nose wasn’t even enough. For days, I planned my revenge.

I came home from school one night. My arm was in incredible pain, but it was all for the plan. My mother discovered it was a broken arm, so I soon had my arm in a sling and I was excused from making the fires, while Moti was back to making the fires. You could tell she was angry that I had an excuse for being away from the fires. She was unsuspecting. I crept behind her, and shouted, “This is for making my life a living hell!” and kicked her into the fire. She was knocked off balance, and right into the bursting flames. I watched my sister burn, her cries, my cries. I can’t believe what I had done.

I had killed my very own sister, and watched her burn by my very own eyes

I ran towards my mom, screaming and crying. “Mom!” I shouted, as soon as we bumped into her. Evidently, she heard the screams too, and she came running. I collapsed into her, crying. I felt really guilty for killing my own sister. “Mom… Moti’s dead. Moti’s dead.” She hugged me tightly, but made sure not to squeeze my broken arm to hard. I can’t believe what I had done. I’m a monster. A complete monster.

But that didn’t stop me from wanting to do it again.

Shortly after my sister’s death, I had a growing fear of fire. I refused to tend to the fires. It resulted in my parent’s punishing me, but I still refused to do it. Instead, my parent’s made me make toys for the toy store they owned. I began to grow my love for wielding. I made cars, I made wooden dolls, I made animals. I loved carving. It just felt like a relief. One time I carved my sister. I tried painting it in, but all I could imagine was a bruised, bloody face, only a skull left due to all of her skin burning off. I couldn’t bear it. I was a cold-blooded murder.

My sister came into my dreams. Murdering me, telling me what I’ve done wrong. It was worse then when she was around. I soon became an insomniac, not sleeping just to avoid the dreams. I couldn’t bear it. My life was being destroyed into pieces. My friends became distant friends. I would skip school just to avoid embarrassment.

Although I lost many friends along the way, my best friend Kovu stayed with me all the way. I never told anybody that I murdered my own sister, not even him, definitely not my parents. But he knew that something was up, so he helped me along the way. I could say that I was growing a crush for him. But then, she came in. She, who Kovu fell for. I was angry. I was distraught. Kovu was mine. Little did she know I had committed murder before. I have still not yet gotten to my plans quite yet, but I will destroy her.

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[Naya]

Le sigh. I think I'm finally done.

[✨ zozo.]