out of sight, out of mind [julian/cassius]

[Meghan]

| Cassius Birch; District Two|

|BIOGRAPHY|
| PLOT WITH ME |

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Take the time just to listen
When the voices screaming
are much too loud
Take a look in the distance
Try and see it all
Chances are that ya might find
That we share a
common discomfort now
I feel I'm walking a fine line
Tell me only if it's real

[/center]

Steel contacts the hard surface of proudly displayed metal in the already bloody training room. The cold whisper that has followed my hand throughout my entire life had swiftly made its home in this retched place and I find myself greeting the unfortunately familiar blanket of razor-edged death-weapons with an unusual ease. This place isn’t much different than the chilled, love-absent plaza of my youth, (I already know what I’m doing). This familiarity, this welcome only serves to drill my ever-present feeling of despair further past the marble façade I so desperately displayed since we stepped into this waltzing city (its tearful face moves in a rhythmic tango with the dark arms of our doom, a habit long ago accepted by its people in exchange for only their comfort. Circuses and Bread. Bread and Circuses. Heartless comfort)

I fall into habit , into line, with a false display of courage and wonder painted throughout my shaking valiant body. I let the temptation of my own, personal show push the rationality I once held in high honor towards the ditch in the side of my road – a pit created to capture any part of my puzzle-pieces personality that failed to conform to their wishes. This pit contained perfectly normal items, things like my happiness, my dreams, my love, my rebellion. It could only be inaccessible – it’s freedom unearned unless I find myself entering very unexpected circumstances – like my death, my victory, or my aging. So much for the aging hope! That was pushed into the pit too, unreachable. My entire soul was unreachable. It would be a miracle if a god would be able to dig himself into the whole in my heart to find the once-aching, longing, love held there. I was an empty-shell, and if death wasn’t careful, it would only get sucked into the endless labyrinth of my own personal abyss.

The blade flew like a dove through the air and pierced a far-away dummy with its cry of mourning. I didn’t even care for its fate before my hands cradled another victim and I let it spread its wings again (this time embedding in the heart of my decrepit mother the closest unloving soul).

I thought I had been alone in this arena vast room, the time being too early for even the most eager-tribute to rise, but as I rose my hand to release another dagger, I found myself staring into the deep eyes of my chief, my mentor, my hero. My own seekers drift away from his steady silhouette. Pride? Anger?

“Hello, Julian.” I murmur as I slip the blade against my back, out of sight, out of mind.

Hey I can't live in here
for another day
Darkness has kept
the light concealed
Grim as ever
Hold onto faith as I
dig another grave
Meanwhile the mice
endure the wheel
Real as ever
And it seems I've
been buried alive

text =738C8A,
emphasis = 47857E,
thoughts = 3D5C59,
hearing = 85ADA9,
speech = 455453,
other = 0F8A7D

ooc: i will code this later, sorry for putting it up so freaking late.

Word Count: 447