.: footprints on the {sand} // Rosetta

[Stare]

Silver Emmend

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I've got this friend
I don't think you know her
She sings a simple song
It sounds a lot like mine

A warm breeze. Bending palm trees. A scream.

My feet stumble as I follow the familiar beaten path to her house. It's a memorized trail I've walked many times before, through unbearable heat and chilled rainstorms. Somedays I go to tell her something, or give her something. Other times, I go just so I can see that she's safe. Ever since I lost her that day, I've always gotten the sudden feeling that she's in danger at random timess during the day. I need to feel her warm hand in mine, to see her face, in order to reassure myself that she's still alive and well. At night, I'll toss and turn under the hot sheets, dreaming of staring down at her unmoving form, her fingers icy as they cling to mine for the last time, her eyes focused on nothing. I'll shake her shoulders and press my ear to her silent chest and cry, holding her against me, and the next morning I'll practically fly to her home and pound on her door just to make sure that her death was only a nightmare and nothing more.

That's not the case today, though. Today, I was struck quite suddenly by the memories. Memories that a poor, young girl should not have. I stood up and the whole world tilted to the side as my stomach tied itself again and again. My heart wouldn't stop pounding and I couldn't breathe. I could still hear them, their voices arguing and calling out to one another and, on a rare occasion, laughing. And then a flash of red would blind me as one by one they met their terrible ends. They didn't deserve it. None of them did, not even the ones that weren't even vaguely friendly. When we got home we were swarmed by people telling us how terrible it must of been, how unfortunate we are, how sorry they are for us. But it's hard to feel self pity for yourself when they're lying on the island, hard as stone and just as dead.

A promise. The swish of the waves. A drop of blood.

I approach her home unannounced, as always, and quietly knock on the solid wooden door. The house is probably the same size as mine, but it is filled with warm love while mine stands cold and empty, a shell of what a home should really be. I look down dark hallways and into sparsely furnished rooms and all I can think of is the people who should be there but aren't. If my life were normal, I'd have a mother in the kitchen making me scrambled eggs in the morning, a father who comes home from work and kisses me on the top of the head before going to read the paper in his big crimson chair, and a grandmother who knits me scarves out of soft yarn and her own ancient love. But they are not there, so instead my house is inhabited by ghosts - whispers of people I long to have, but have long since lost to death's dark grasp.

I will never be the same.

Yucca opens the door, and for a moment all I can feel is relief that her heart is beating and her limbs still move. There was a time when I thought her lost, back on the island, and I shed more tears than I thought humanly possible. My heart had been torn out and I was left to wander white beaches alone for the rest of my life, which admittedly could very well end up being quite short, considering there was a murderer on the loose who was picking us off one by one. The fear didn't end when I found her again, though. No, even as I held her in my arms for the first time in months, I was still terrified of losing her. Back here, in the district, things hardly got better. People interviewed us and crowded around us and blocked my view of her, and no matter how much I called and tried to push people out of the way, I still couldn't see the telltale flash of snowy white locks. I did not react well to losing her. Vaguely, I remember punching someone. The feel of her fingertips just barely brushing mine. My mind has erased the aftermath of my panic, but I'm sure things did not go well.

"I need you," I say plainly, feeling very much like a young child. It isn't the first time I've done this - come to her house without any reason other than the strong desire to be with someone who understands - and so I know that she won't hesitate. There's a place down on the beach where we go, underneath the piers. It's secluded and quiet, and at this time of day, with the sun just about to dip below the horizon, I am certain it will be beautiful. "Please?"

Oh I've got this friend
Holding onto her heart
Like it's a little secret
Like it's all she's got to give

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[Rosetta]

~Yucca Ephedra

As soon as the words left her mouth, "I need you," Yucca knew this called for the docks. Except not on the docks. Below them, of course.

Ever since returning home, both girls had been plagued by nightmares. The horrors of what happened on that terrible island was forever imprinted into their minds, stamped onto the inside of their skull, an eternally replaying film. Many times in the night, Yucca would wake up, drenched in a cold sweat, body shivering and shaking, hands clawing out to the empty space beside her bed, wishing the silver-haired girl there, so she could collect her in her arms and banish the terror. However, her wishes only came true in the morning when Silver appeared at her doorstep, the face Yucca loved so much pale, the limbs Yucca loved so much around her trembling and the lips Yucca wanted so much whispering of the night's cruel horrors.

The sun was warm, almost too warm, but a gentle breeze played along Yucca's face as, gripping Silver's hand in hers, led her towards the docks. As they passed the houses along the shore, children on their porches crept closer for a better look and women weaving nets whispered behind their hands. Yucca had been trained to look straight ahead until her bare feet hit the hot sand, instantly sinking into it.

Everyone in the District knew what happened and at first the pity and curiosity came like the rain. It was a downpour, drenching the girls, but then it began to let up, a soft drizzle with the slight, fresh smell of curiosity. The drizzle whispered and no longer were questions directed towards the light-haired girls. The people had gotten enough information, the little they could force out of them, and had taken to creating more themselves. The thought that people were talking about her sent flutters up and down Yucca’s stomach, but she forced herself to bite her lip and avert her eyes.

The only person Yucca had told the whole story to was her mother and her face had paled so much she looked as though she might faint. It was like the time Yucca, young Yucca, only about seven, was stopped on her way out to the beach.

"Where are you going, young lady?"

"To play with Net."

"What?"

"To play with Net-Mommy, you don't look so good."

And then, Yucca was sitting in a white office with dying flowers on the desk between her and a man who asked her how she felt.

See, Net, I've made it home.[/i]

"Do you want to see Dr. Silver?" Yucca's mother had asked tentatively after Yucca's story was up and she shook her head. Why see him when she had Silver herself to comfort her?

Yucca just tried to ignore the fact that, even after telling her everything, her mother simply called Silver her "friend."

The dock was creaking with the weight of marching men atop of it, some hauling in lobster and crab, others tie up boats while still more untying them. Underneath it, a small shaded strip of sand was lapped at by gentle waves that slipped over the few mossy green rocks there. And it was there that Yucca pulled Silver down into her lap and ran her fingers gently through her soft, silver hair. When her fingers just scraped her scalp, electric shivers ran up and down Yucca's back and she pulled Silver closer into her body, craving the girl's warmth. It was what kept her strong.

They were in the same place that they first met. With the golden sun slanting through the dock, lining Yucca's pale legs and lighting up Silver's silver hair. And there, they spoke simply to each other, but theirs was a deep bond in their gaze and it was only strengthened when they landed themselves on that terrible island.

Overcome with skin-tingling memories of that place, Yucca wrapped her arms tightly around Silver and pulled her in to her, so that her lips were pressed into her sweet, silver hair. A soothing softness against her face, Yucca felt her shoulders relax, sinking only into Silver and not that island, only the warm sand and the coolness of Silver's hair and into it, Yucca whispered, "What's wrong? Tell me."[/color][/blockquote][/size]

[Stare]

Silver Emmend

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Moving slowly into the setting sun
Keeping secrets away from everyone
Staring out into another world
Tide is rising, but time is standing still

I saw their names. Every single one listed in jet black ink, perfect block letters on the sides of houses and in the district square. Sometimes at dusk I'd wander around and tear them down, shredding the delicate paper and then opening my palm and letting the wind steal them away. Big, bold, dark names that were just a little too empty, a little too plain, and little too polished and flawless to describe everything behind them. Because yes, those names belonged to human beings. Complex, beautiful people that loved and hurt and feared. They were more than "casualties", or an "unfortunate loss". Sometimes, in the darkest hour of the night when I lie awake and count the dead on my fingertips, I even consider them my friends.

I keep looking at the waves and expecting to see crimson laced into the ultramarine, serpentine spirals of darkness in the sand. They may be gone but they have not left, not truly. I'm losing my mind remembering their voices calling me away from my palm tree, their hands on my shoulder in a way that is supposed to be comforting, their eyes flashing in rage as we slowly but surely fell apart. I can still hear their screams echoing in my own voice. Sighing heavily, I lean back against Yucca and close my eyes, almost wishing that I hadn't already cried out all my tears weeks ago. It seems like now is a time that I should be crying. I find her hand and tangle my fingers with hers, feeling a slight relief at the way that breathing becomes a bit easier when I'm around her. Living a haunted life seems worth it if I can live it with Yucca.

I turn my head to the side and gently press my lips into hers, closing my eyes and remembering every promise I ever made to her, thanking Ripred I was able to keep them all and have her be at my side when we came home. Pulling back, I drop my gaze to the sand next to us and then look out over the crashing waves, breathing in deeply the salty scent of the tide. This is where we first met, about a year ago. We made a pact, an agreement to be friends, and now we're so much more. I guess you could say that Yucca is all that I have left, and she soothes my urge to be in the water at every waking moment. Instead of needing the ocean, I need her. Always and forever until the end of time because she's the only one that will ever understand exactly what I've been through. (We both close our eyes and see the same things. Scarlet dripping down, blank gazes, still figures on the ground. She never really did things cleanly and made a point of leaving evidence behind. Horrible, ugly, terrifying evidence.)

"I wish I could forget," I murmur softly, leaning my head on her shoulder and letting my eyes drift closed. Everyone just treats them like some big news story, this heartbreaking tragedy that none of them will ever understand, and I hate it because I want to be like that too. I want to be able to glance at those posters, those stupid posters with all their names, and only feel a slight pang of pity in my heart instead of an entire world collapsing on top of me. "I wish people would stop talking about them like they actually knew them. They have no idea what they're saying." And then there's the worst kind of people, the ones that say that they would have traded positions with us if they could because we're only children, after all. And then I just want to punch in the face because they're idiots for ever wishing for the torture we went through on that cursed island.

But there's no need to swim around in sorrow now. Not when I'm with her. I pull myself up and turn around on her lap so I'm facing her, the best smile I can manage hanging under empty eyes. "But that's okay. I don't need them. I've got you." And it's true. In a sea of faces, nameless apologies and broken stares, she is here and she is mine and that's all that really matters in the end. When I'm with her I'm able to cut through the ties of all that bind me to my past and embrace a present where there is only her and I and the crashing of the waves, and that's worth more than any other kind of comfort that I have been offered. I lean and once again feel her lips on mine, deeper this time, her hand still clutched in mine.

There isn't a single ocean I can't cross, a single pond I won't jump into. I love the water and it loves me, and endless relationship that has no betrayal. Never have a feared the great crashing waves of the sea, for I trust them with all my heart. I am a District Four citizen, and therefor I am an expert swimmer.

But when I'm kissing Yucca, I always, always feel like I'm drowning.

The night is falling; the streetlights start to glow
No one's there when the cracks begin to show
They can't hurt her like she's been hurt before
No one here can get near her anymore

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[Rosetta]

~Yucca Ephedra

When Yucca felt most lost, she dreamed of Silver’s glowing hair, guiding her. Many times, she was led nowhere, just to a never-ending darkness, the one where they’d first found each other’s lips and it was that infinity that Yucca most liked to be. Just like she was now.

Silver’s mouth was still as sweet as the day Yucca had first tasted it and she pushed against it for a long time, unwilling to relinquish herself from her love’s soft embrace, soaking in those sparks, those sparks that were Silver. But, all things have an end. Even infinities and finally, Yucca pulled away and tucked a strand of silver hair behind Silver’s ear gently with a smile. “I’ve got you.”

“I’m never letting you go,” Yucca reminded her just as she always did as she tugged Silver close to her and onto the sand where they lay together and how good she felt. “You’re staying right here with me.”

Stay here, Yucca, stay here.

[/i]

No, Yucca actually shook her head, shaking him out. Mother says I need to shut you out. I told her. When I told her everything, I told her about you. I need to shut you out. You’re not real. I have Silver now. I don’t need you. [/i]

In the dark part of her life, Yucca feared she may lose Silver and only then did she realize the lock she had on her mind, the key he held. Silver had kept her from hearing him. He wasn’t there with Silver. He isn’t real,[/i] mother told her, he never was. Oh goodness, Yucca, I always knew there was something wrong with you. [/i]

“There’s nothing wrong with me,” Yucca heard herself breathe into Silver’s soft hair and she traced her fingers across Silver’s prominent collarbones. Her heart was beginning to beat harder and harder, pounding against her chest. “Nothing…” You’re my savior, she wanted to whisper, you keep me…sane.[/i]

Back in the dark, Yucca believed she had banished him, pushing him away with each kiss, back in the recesses of her mind where he had come, but he returned and whispered to her, come back, Yucca, come home and play with me and sometimes, she was tempted, oh-so-tempted to believe him. Until she felt Silver’s skin again. How could she have believed in the first place?

Yet, looking back, she knew the hype had been big. The family grinned at her mother’s swelling stomach and the crib had been moved into Yucca’s room and finally, finally Yucca was going to have a sibling who didn’t scoff and her and push her around. Finally, finally. In her crooked calligraphy, the result of fat, quivering hands, she crafted his name on a piece of driftwood and hung it up over the crib across her room and her mother had even smiled at it as she rubbed her belly. Say it, Yucca, say it.[/i]

Net.[/i]

Not again, Yucca suddenly felt queasy remembering it. How could she have not realized? Perhaps it had taken death for her to finally realize, back on that wretched island and the thought of it made Yucca shudder and even Silver’s arms could not stifle the shivering fear deeply rooted inside of her. She was back in the dark, crumpled up, cold and alone, crying. Where was Silver? Dead? Gone? And he came for her. Come home, Yucca, come to me.[/i] I promise, oh no, no Silver, where are you? Save me, Silver, save me. [/i]Her heart began to race, her palms sweaty and she was felt so sick as if she were going to throw up and it would be bloody just like it was before and before that and blood everywhere until she was grimacing, lower eyelids heavy and wet, her lips mouthing the words.

Save me, until she was saying it, whispering it into Silver’s ear, “Save me, don’t let me think of it,” banish these demons, please banish them and she convulsed on the sand against the stress of lack of life, breathless, clinging to Silver as he called for her again and again. No, mother said not to listen, Silver, you stay with me. It isn’t real. Save me.[/i]

He was never real. Yucca lay in the slanted sunlight, warm, not cold, not bloody, but crying all the same as she held tight to the girl who feared she lost. Her savior. Because no matter what she did. No matter how hard she held, it was always the same. Net. Always there. Always calling.

But, Mother had deflated years ago and she had wept and the crib had left Yucca’s room, but the plaque remained and Yucca’s young mind had never quite gotten it. Where was he? The little stranger, they were going to call him. And his name stared her down.

Net. Net. Net.

And somehow, mother said anyway, Yucca had created him, Yucca had reached towards the name and found hands and Net, Net, Net and only Silver, only her arms, only her lips could tug Yucca away, but the hands remained, reaching, reaching, reaching and it was only now Yucca’s eyes had opened like his never did.

And in the sand, Yucca forced herself to remember.

Net, her sweet little brother, had never been. He was a stillborn, dead for years.

[ooc: yeah idk...and idk what happened to my colors, but I'll fix that later][/color][/size][/blockquote]