Cold Water [axel]

[Sedge]

He Does,He Says,He Hears,He Thinks


~Crucis Greenlaw

My lungs burned, and my muscles ached, but I couldn't go home unless I was exhausted. I was out, running beside the water, and about every hundred yards I would drop for push-ups. My father was great, but for whatever reason he always wanted me to go into the Games. He'd send me out, and would expect me to return stiff and achy from exercise. Not once did he ever force me, but it was never beneficial for me to disobey him. The first and only time that I did he became passive-aggressive; the following week was filled with half-hidden taunts about my masculinity, and dealing with the burning shame of disappointing him.

Why does he have to be so damn selfish?

Maybe I brought it upon myself by not being more forward or aggressive myself. It may have been him testing me, and seeing if I would take it as a challenge, and pick a fight with him. Maybe I was just proving him right when I stayed silent through his taunts. I made it look like I was simply acting out of fear, rather than being the bigger man. The bigger man would have confronted him and asked him to stop, but still not fight. I cowered and let him intimidate me into doing what I didn't want to. Pathetic.

Eventually, I was too tired to continue on, and stopped. My brown hair was loose and wet, and stuck to my forehead like sand sticks to your soles. I was shirtless, and thoroughly agreeing with that decision as I felt the cool breeze against the sweat on my chest and stomach. As usual, I didn't wear any shoes out here. There rarely was any harmful debris I couldn't see first this far back, and let's face it: I love the feeling of running on sand. It's squishy, but firm, and it is a little bit like running on top of a mattress, but it is much grainier... if that is even a word.

Deciding that my legs deserved a break, I stepped into the freezing ocean water, and plopped down. Instantly my green cargo shorts were soaked, and a shiver traveled up my spine. Goose bumps appeared on my arms, and it was a few moments before my body had adjusted to the cool liquid against my skin. My brown eyes began their journey gazing across the horizon, and I could feel my lips betraying me, and forming a small smile on my face.

I would never know how it does it. Every time I am upset, or frustrated, or just plain pissed, venturing out to the coast and staring has always made me feel better. It's like a powerful elixir, eliminating all of the pain and filling me with euphoria for those few short moments where no thoughts came, only joy. I could never live any other place, unless it had the ocean. Even if it means living with Panem, and the Capitol, and the Hunger Games. The sea makes it worth it to me.

The sea helps me sea.

My smile was replaced with a smirk at the thought of the pun. I'm terrible. But I know it is these small little shreds of bad jokes and humor that do make life worth living. Panem or no Panem, Capitol or no Capitol, Hunger Games or no Hunger Games: life is worth them. Being able to sit for a small moment, and feel the tiny warmth in the deepest corner of your heart is worth every suffering. And it is suffering that makes this warmth stronger. Joy and pleasure are like a tiny flickering flame on a candle that is brightest when its dark.

I leaned back into the sand, the smile still on my face, and chuckled, "The sea helps me see."

[Anna Banana]

thoughts
speech

Panama's small fishing boat came into the dock, only a small haul today, a disappointing haul, and he looked at it with disgust. How was he supposed to pay off any of his debts if he couldn't get a decent days fishing in, this was why he needed to get into the games so bad, he needed the money to pay off everything. Turning away with a sour expression still written across his face he walked to the gang plank where his friends, and crew mates, were leaving the ship. In turn he clapped each one on the back telling them good job, and that they would have a better day tomorrow. After they had all left he walked to the edge of the boat and leaned on the railing. Everything was settling down in the district and the sound of the waves lapping against the side of his boat put his mind at rest. The water had that affect on him, it always had since before he could remember, a gentle breeze and the sound of the waves was the only medicine he ever needed.

Finally turning away from the water he walked down the gang plank and down towards the beech. The dock master would clean up everything that much he knew, so he had no need to worry about that. Walking to the shore line he let the waves lap against his bare feet, sending a chill up his spine, it was cold, but nothing he wasn't used to. Sliding his shirt off he walked into the water, each step forward sending a chill up his spine, his body quickly adjusted though and he dove in. This was what he really loved to do, just swim in the water not a care in the world. He hated being cooped up in the ship all day with little results at the end of the day. He was a career for gosh sake, he needed to be training harder otherwise he would never make it. Popping back to the surface he caught sight of someone else that appeared to be doing the same thing as him, enjoying the water.

I swam towards him, and decided I would try and give him a scare, after all his back was turned. Quietly my arms cut through the water, years of practice making my movements almost unnoticeable. Once I was within arms reach I let my arm rise out of the water and fall hard on the guys shoulder, and my fingers clenched around it in a light, but forceful grip. It had been a while since I had the opportunity to play a trick on someone, and I wasn't even sure if it worked on this guy. It was fun though, and I didn't have alot to find fun these days. I didn't move, instead I stayed where I was waiting to see the reaction I would get from the guy. Should be fun either way, and maybe he would have some good company out here in the water. It's not every day he had someone to talk to.

(OOC:Sorry it sucks, it sometimes takes me a while to get into a post. It will get better xD.)

[Sedge]

He Does,He Says,He Hears,He Thinks


~Crucis Greenlaw

I lay there, simply relaxing in the sun when I noticed a small shadow in my peripheral vision. For that moment, I merely passed it off as a sea gull flying above me, or something of the sort. There wasn't any danger for me here, so when some stranger grabbed my shoulders, I was startled, and turned to see who it was. Immediately when I saw who it was, my guard was raised. He looked like a career, like me, but I wasn't like him.

Hostility was building in my chest, but I held a calm expression on my face, almost friendly. He was bigger than me, probably stronger than me, and the last thing that I really needed was a fight. I could still feel the bruise on my eye from the last time I let my mouth get the better of me. What would overreacting to this do for me? In a fraction of a second, I analyzed his form; muscular, tall, curley brown hair, and everything that I wasn't. Sure, there were girls that liked how I looked, but that was more of the "he's so adorable" sort of thing that really got on my nerves.

Shit... I'm not developing a short guy complex, am I?

I mean I'm not... terribly short. I'm only fifteen, and I'm 5' 7", I'll probably have a growth spurt before then. But until then, that still doesn't change the fact that this guy was here, right now, and waiting for me to say something. He wanted a reaction out of me, like most people do when they'd mess with me. I won't give him that satisfaction.

Giving a slight cough, I finally spoke, "Well that was... abrupt. Can I help you?"

The words out of my mouth sounded better in my head, but coming out they were quiet and I stuttered. If he could even make out whatever the hell I was saying, it'd be a miracle. Meanwhile, I sound like a nervous idiot. If I ever do get reaped, how am I supposed to make alliances in the arena if I can't make a decent presentation of myself? Different problems for I different time. I shoved my thoughts away, and waited for this other person to speak.

[Anna Banana]

Looking into the intense face of the guy Panama could tell he was analyzing him. So eagelry he took the time to scan over this kid and figure out what he was all about. He looked pretty young, and although his build was muscular it wasn't as defined as most of the other boys in the district. He obviously didn't work at the docks or on a fishing boat because he would be totally ripped from that. So what exactly did he do....run around the beaches all day? He was also short in comparison to alot of the other boys, but most of that could be due to age. Overall judgement, probably a 6 out of 10, and that was being generous. He would keep that part to himself, no sense in making an enemy out of someone you had just met, and never let them know your first impression of them.

Suddenly the kid gave a slight cough, and spoke something, or rather mumbled it under his breath. How the heck was he supposed to hear that, what was he a bat or something. A quizzical look fell on his face and he crossed his arms infront of his chest. Okay, maybe first impressions weren't all bad, the kid obviously had dreams of getting into the games, but with a weak voice like that and his short stature he would never make it. He took a guess at what it was he ad said, he had at least made out a few of the words, something about help and abrupt.

Ummmm, I'm just taking a guess here at what you said, you mostly mumbled whatever that jargon was. I don't think there is anything I can help you with, after all I'm at least twice your size. Just didn't know anyone else was out here though, usually it's just me and the water keeping eachother company. As for whatever was abrupt, well life is full of surprises you you had better get used to things being abrupt. You look like you're training for the games how can you expect to survive if I just caught you off guard. I'm not even trained to do that kind of stuff, what will you do when you're faced with real competition?

It was a harsh judgement, but he wasn't going to humor the kid by giving him delusions of grandeur. He wouldn't have lasted a second if this scenario were to have taken place in the games. Though he needed to introduce himself at least to the kid, and get a name from him, it was polite to do that. "The name is Panama by the way, didn't mean to get the jump on you like that, well, okay I did, but I didn't think you would react that way." Thrusting his muscular arm forward his had wavered infront of the kid waiting to see how he would react.

[Sedge]

He Does,He Says,He Hears,He Thinks


~Crucis Greenlaw

And it began with his less-than amused retort, "Ummmm, I'm just taking a guess here at what you said, you mostly mumbled whatever that jargon was." My eyes darkened as he continued on, "I don't think there is anything you can help me with, after all I'm at least twice your size. Just didn't know anyone else was out here though, usually it's just me and the water keeping each other company.

Listening to him only aided in the growth of this deep seed of hostility in my chest. He sounded... reasonable. His words made me feel foolish for getting so worked up over this, and this only inflated my frustration. It made me feel like the bad guy here. It made me feel like I should like him, and that I was stupid for not being able to communicate.

I am stupid.

Once again I found myself lost in an internal conflict hidden behind my face's stony mask. This wasn't a situation that stubbornness fixed, it only made it worse. I couldn't shrug off these feelings of resentment that swirled in my heart like liquid midnight. And I couldn't hide the disdain that had hijacked my chest. Stubbornness and pride, damnable feelings that had cornered me here before this guy. This larger, and superior male.

" As for whatever was abrupt, well life is full of surprises you you had better get used to things being abrupt. You look like you're training for the games how can you expect to survive if I just caught you off guard. I'm not even trained to do that kind of stuff, what will you do when you're faced with real competition?" the older male said, before introducing himself, " The name is Panama by the way, didn't mean to get the jump on you like that, well, okay I did, but I didn't think you would react that way."

I felt my mask crack as my jaw stiffened, and my molars ground into each other. Panama was right, and I knew that he was right, but that didn't mean I liked it. He was the sort of guy that I disliked, and always avoided. Everything about him was irritating me: he was bigger, stronger, and worst of all was that he was right.

Not wanting to seem completely put-off by his little surprise, I met his hand in the middle and gave it a firm shake. If anything, my hands were strong. My fingers were long and dextrous, and callouses had left my skin with a leathery texture. They were a worker's hands: rubbed raw by rope, and strengthened by a thousand knots and the forging of a thousand more fishing hooks. It was real, unlike my muscles built by working out on the long stretch of sandy beach.

As of then, I could feel a little bit of my anger melt with the handshake, and clearly I spoke, "Crucis. You smell a bit like my father, so you're a fisherman I'd guess?"

I glanced past his shoulder, and looked at the lapping waves of the ocean and felt my tensed muscles relax. While still annoyed, I was feeling less hostile, and more willing to take in what this guy had to say. My own reason was returning to me, and with it, the benefit of the doubt. I had to remind myself that not everybody has cruel intentions towards me. I'm not that special. Besides. No need to make an enemy that you can't take on.

[Anna Banana]

Something in the look of the boy told Panama maybe he had gone to far. Behind the steely expression was a fire, only a low burning fire, but it seemed that it wouldn't take much to provoke this fellow. Not that he ever did it on purposely, it was just in his nature to speak his mind without thinking about what it was he was saying. He was just lucky he hadn't said his preliminary judgement of the kid out loud. He knew that fire though, it was someone who had an inner struggle with themselves. The best way to deal with it was to keep adding fire to it, and let it burn out on its own. He wouldn't purposely do it, it just seemed like the kid hated everything about Panama. No mask could hide the seething anger in his eyes. One's eyes were always the gateway to their true feelings, no matter the expression on the face the eyes always said the truth.

Even though the boy clasped his hand in a sign of friendship he still sense some anger behind it. The hand was well muscled, the sign of a skilled craftsman, perhaps there was more to the kid...no, Crucis he had introduced himself as, than he had originally thought. Apparently though there was a distinct fishy smell to him because Crucis picked up on it immediately and guessed that he was a fisherman. The smell wasn't that powerful, and he had to be honest everyone in District 4 had a fishy smell to them. Crucis had a powerful nose to be able to make out the difference between a fisherman and just a dock worker.

Yup, I'm a fisherman, have been for almost three years now. I got the boat on loan, and now I'm in debt up to my eyeballs because I can't pay for it. Fishing has been slow lately what with winter coming and the amount of fishing boats it's been tough. Though I have a friend who offered for me to share in her familes private fishing plot so I may be able to pick up on my loads. You look like a good worker, you wanna be a crew member on my ship?

The offer sounded nice to him, he didn't want Crucis thinking that he was some arrogant muscle head with no feelings. After all he wasn't all bad, and despite the fact that he was a Career he tried not to be as ignorant to other's feelings as them. There was something about Crucis that he liked, something that he respected. Was it the drive to get into the games or was it that fighting spirit he had seen flash into his eyes. Either way he decided he wanted to learn more about him, this mysterious guy who was wandering around the beach.

Maybe he could help him out to, teach him what he knew. After all he only had one more year for the games, Crucis looked like he had more time to train and get ready. Yes, in a subtle way he would teach him everything he knew, and prepare him for the games.

[Sedge]

He Does,He Says,He Hears,He Thinks


~Crucis Greenlaw

I felt my shoulder's loosen, slowly. It was like the melting of ice, little by little, they melted before falling and allowing me to relax. The anger that I'd begun our conversation with had drifted somewhere in the recess of my mind, though it had not completely dissipated. A part of me was still guarded, still holding the barricades around me, and I wasn't ready to let him in. There was no reason for me to let him in; Panama was a complete stranger up until this meeting. I didn't owe him anything.

Before long, he was speaking once more, "Yup, I'm a fisherman, have been for almost three years now. I got the boat on loan, and now I'm in debt up to my eyeballs because I can't pay for it. Fishing has been slow lately what with winter coming and the amount of fishing boats it's been tough."

His words were not unfamiliar to me. In fact, minus the explanation on where he obtained his boat, it was practically words straight out of my father's mouth. Not enough fish, winter, too many boats... all the complaints of a seasoned fisherman. I felt like all they ever had to do on those boats was complain, because obviously they weren't casting enough nets. You'd think if they spent as much time fishing as they did whining about how few fish there were, they might catch a little more.

"Though I have a friend who offered for me to share in her familes private fishing plot so I may be able to pick up on my loads. You look like a good worker, you wanna be a crew member on my ship?" I heard him ask, and I couldn't help but supply an amused grin.

What's with this whole "good worker" vibe I'm giving off?

To me, it was rather amusing. Less than two days since I'd received that job offer at the surf shack, someone else was offering work. Coupled with the two both being rather peculiar first meetings, I really had to wonder what was up with District 4 these days. One day they were complete dicks, and the next they were handing out free work. Not that I liked them being mean to me, but at least give me some consistency.

I looked up at him, and provided an apologetic smile, "Sorry. Already have a job offer I accepted, and with work at home and school, I really can't take on anything new. Just no time in the day."

[Anna Banana]

It was unsurprising that he didn't accept the offer, it had been more of a formality anyways. Sometimes he also had a tendency to forget that while he was out of school other kids weren't. Smiling in responce to the aplogetic smile that had been flashed at him he clapped Crucis on the shoulder and looked out at the ocean. Wide, wonderful, and beautiful it was untameable, a force of destruction and yet so beautiful. Sometimes he wished he could just stay at the shore line and watch the waves farther out against the horizon. Sadly though just as time was a hinderance to Crucis it was also to him, just not for the same reasons. Training, fishing, working on his boat, looking on it now he didn't even have a life, it was just filled with work.

What he really needed was time off to just do what he wanted to do. Unfortunately that was impossible, he didn't have anyone to rely on to help him pay the bills or keep food on his plate. No, it was work, train, sleep and than start back up all over again. Looking at Crucis he couldn't help but feel a little jealous of him. He didn't have the fears that he had every day when he woke up, a sense that the world as he knew it would end if he didn't pay his bills. A thought came to mind that hadn't hit him in so long....to do something fun.

Crucis....would you like to have a little competition, a little swim. I know I'm older and everything, but all of us here have been swimming since we were born basically. I don't get to have alot of fun around here anymore, and I think it would be fun to just have a friendly competition. Besides, I like you, you seem pretty nice, and a bit of friendly competition would do both of us some good. You look tense a swim might make you feel better. I could also give you some tips on the games if you want, I don't look like it but I have alot of skill that might be helpful to you.

While he spoke he didn't even look at Crucis, his eyes remained glued on the horizon, watching as the sun seemed to set fire to the sky and water. One of the most beautiful sights in the world was a sunset in District 4 and today it seemed to be even more radiant than usual. Maybe it was the new outlook he had right now, more hopeful than usual, but like eveything else in his life it would be short lived. For now though he would just enjoy it, enjoy this time that he had.

[Sedge]

He Does,He Says,He Hears,He Thinks


~Crucis Greenlaw


"Crucis....would you like to have a little competition, a little swim. I know I'm older and everything, but all of us here have been swimming since we were born basically. I don't get to have alot of fun around here anymore, and I think it would be fun to just have a friendly competition," he said, and I felt myself panic a little.

He requests the one thing that I can't do.

"Besides, I like you, you seem pretty nice, and a bit of friendly competition would do both of us some good. You look tense a swim might make you feel better. I could also give you some tips on the games if you want, I don't look like it but I have a lot of skill that might be helpful to you," came the end of his little speech about swimming.

How do you tell someone that a resident of fifteen years in District 4 is incapable of swimming? It was a skill that I never needed to know, and my father never bothered to teach. I rejected working on the fishing boats, and instead spent my life crafting nets with my mother. The only time I ever hit the beaches were for a run, and occasionally wading out a few feet.

Sure, I'd seen other people swim, but to me it looked like a sparrow that fell in the water and was trying to fly out. Whatever their technique was, it was a mystery to my untrained eye. It never really occurred to me that I should learn, but considering the Hunger Games were approaching once more, and if there was water... That could be a bit of a problem.

I looked at Panama and released a nervous chuckle, "You know I'd love to... But I kind of don't know how to swim.