-- what is it like to be lonely? -- (nightbird)

[willow .]

I'm so used to the snowflakes by now, the way that they fall on my hands and melt into nothin’; sometimes i feel sorry for them. Snowflakes have no life and no chance to live, they are forced through a continues cycle that only resolves in them fading away. Sometimes, I consider life being that way for everyone here in Panem, just a simple drop of icy liquid that slowly falls to the ground in a downwards spiral, as people we are the same, we are nothin’. I wish I knew how to stop the snow; if I did, it wouldn't have to suffer anymore, suffer the pain of becoming’ nothin’ again. Maybe, it would help all of us here, stuck in this icy place, just as much. It would help us remember what freedom has to offer and what it truly is. I just wish that Faith could see it a bit more easily, sometimes I have so much trouble understandin’ her and her 'older sisterly' thoughts and ways.

Even so, I endure the walk back to my house with a stone-cold expression on my face and whippin’ hair revolving around me; flashes of gold illuminate the air and fill it with one piece of something’ bright, somethin’ to cheer me on instead of the never-ending darkness and hopelessness. My feet are drenched in the white fluff and my teeth chatter from the cold; oh how I wish mum didn't make me go out for groceries. Why couldn't have Faith done it, she is, after all, the responsible girl of the house.

I can't understand mother, she's not even my real mum. Father made some mistakes and now me and my sisters are all forced to pay. It's the only thing I share in common with my sisters, other than my red hair.

The food sits at the bottom of my wicker basket, the contents are light but in the cold they weigh my arms down. My bony hands are exposed to the weather, the icy air bitin’ them with a sharp tongue and an evil smile. I’m not afraid of him though, I know that he wouldn’t really hurt me; he hurts other people, not me though. I am a child of the cold; I know what it’s like to be frigid and screamin’ for heat. I survived such an incident as only a child.

Survival was not on my side then, it didn’t matter though. I made it through and showed that the winter can’t claim me.

I’m too precious to be thrown into the hands of death just yet.


(note ; Sorry its so short >.>)

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[Nighty the foamy squirrel]

CAITLYNN NIGHTBIRD

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Just another winters day, the snow falling into my blonde hair and melting slowly. Despite my pace I can't avoid them, there where just too many and they where just too fast. I lower my head so I am looking at the snow coated ground, my shoes not really being designed to cope with the amount of water that melted when I walk through it so it made my feet wet, I had no socks, well, none that I could wear anymore. My red face with chattering teeth peeks up, hair completely covering my face before I lower it, making me completely invisible to anyone looking at me really. The white... Well I would say jacket but it wasn't really a jacket so the white jumper I had on with the white tracksuit bottoms that where passed down to me and pretty much where hanging off made my body near enough invisible from the distance with the backdrop of snow.

So apparently I had to go shopping and I was on my way to the grocery's. I love daddy, and I know he needs help but did he have to send me out in these clothes? In THIS weather? I'm 12! I should be asleep or snuggled up on the sofa, in front of the barely smoldering fire we had to at least get some warmth in the house. I turn right off my street eventually, only just noticing I had reached the end of it after the pretty daunting 5 minute walk. It wasn't even a street it was just a pathway, anyway, I turn right, into the edge of the main town bit, hardly anyone was out, or from what I could see from behind my hair and my head being lowered. Maybe there will be no one I can cause trouble to, everyone I seemed to meet lately had something happen to them. It was all my fault as well, even if I just stood there it was me who did it.

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[OOC] Short but amazing! o.o Sorry I couldn't match the quality x.x

[willow .]

The wind is so seemingly cold now, as though it has suddenly quickened it pace and decided to send out all its fury on 'lil me. I can't imagine why it would hate me so, what have I ever done to make it angry, and what pain have I caused it? Maybe the winter is just mad, it wants revenge on the people for not appreciatin’ it, that's why it steals lives and wreaks havoc, it wants people to respect it. It wants them to know that it should be the most loved season of all, feared, but ultimately loved more than anything. I will never love the winter, I would rather die from the frost coatin’ my body and my lips turning a raw shade of blue, the kind that highlights the dreary skies in the peak of winter. I wouldn't give the winter any love if I desperately wanted to, not after what it's done to so many people, so many people that I love and adore. Nothin’ that evil deserves affection. If anything, hate is the only real emotion to fit with such circumstances.

Hate is the only word to describe many things.

Such as the path that I tread on now; footprints barely havin’ time to emerge ‘fore the snowflakes fill them in again. It is a small dirt-covered place hidden behind many leaning buildings and falling structures; wood peeling off of the sides and icy light barely reaching over the moldy wooden doorways and roofs. Sometimes it can be peaceful along this path, other times it crowded with people all looking for a different way home, a way to explore the world in much more depth than they were able to before. I hate this pathway and its stench of winter, and yet I love the people.

I admire them, those adventurous ones. I will never be one of them though; I can’t see the point of takin’ risks.

I may sound vain, possibly even greedy; but my life is my passion. Without it I wouldn't know how to think or how to see a thing, I wouldn't have the cold sensation in the tips of my fingers and the burning feeling of my cheeks from the drenching cold. I would be emotionless, unable to feel a single thing.

I can never see how people find risking their lives fun, anyway. Foolish is more of the way to describe it, if you ask me at least. Even wandering down a hardly-trodden pathway can be dangerous; you never know what may be lurking around the next corner.

[/i] District 10 holds all different types of dangers.

(note ; shush, your writing is beautiful c: )
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[Nighty the foamy squirrel]

CAITLYNN NIGHTBIRD

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Well it just got colder, brilliant, ya know, you just keep snowing, make it worse on me. I get a sigh through my teeth and wrap my arms around myself, forgetting about my, somehow staying on my hips. Trackies. Sure, they where mums, and sure, they made me feel good when I wore them but they are not designed for a 12 year old, and really, really not designed for this weather. If only I could make my own darn clothes, Ya know I probably deserved this, for something I did in my earlier life or a past life, everything was related to me somehow, this was probably no exception. All the suffering in the lower districts, heck, all the suffering was my fault.

I let depression and my usual overactive guilt overtake me, my red face become distort as warm tears, yes warming up my face but still sad, left trails of warm liquid running down my face, always around the more run down area of town I got like this, the area where it felt more like an abandoned city than an actual living area able to support life. I dunno what it was, maybe it was just the suffering of the area. I eventually raise an almost blue hand up to comb my hair to the side before placing it back under my right arm. Maybe I should turn back, I'm going to get hypothermia again if I ain't careful. With that decision in my head I make a turn to the right and smash into something, my body propelling itself backwards and landing in the snow which somewhat softened my fall. Oh god please don't tell me I damaged anything! I look up and I see a sign that had something written it, and with a dent in it. It was reinforced cardboard but apparently walking into it was enough to damage it.

I let my head drop back into the snow, hardly noticing that the collision had left my tracksuits halfway down my thighs, with just this jumper covering up my underwear. "You are such a clutz Caitlynn Nightbird! You damaged that persons sign!" All I could do was listen to my own thoughts scolding me. I was one, too cold to get up and 2, too wrapped up in self loathing. However I notice my legs becoming increasingly cold and uncomfortable and I go to rub them a little, that's when I made the discovery and I scream, quite loudly, then scramble to get them back up. Standing up after and turning even more red in my cheeks, oh god, oh god that would've been embarrassing, I look round to see someone but I couldn't tell if they where looking at me or just walking on their way, hopefully the latter. Either way they where at the corner I needed to turn to go back. Screw the shop, the snow and the coldness was just too cold. My lips where blue, my entire face was a bright red peaking on orange, and my legs where now freezing.

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[OOC] I'm comparing, I don't see it :P Though thanks for the compliment :D

[willow .]

And the cold continues to hurt awfully, I can feel every part of me just wantin' to stop walkin', I can feel each limb beggin' me just to lay down in the frosty snow and shut my eyes. My brain is callin' to me through weak electrical shocks, trying to get me to stop movin', it wants me to rest, to sit down and take a small break. And for that one second, I'm not sure if it is really my brain commanding me other than Winter. It is tricking me; it wants me to rest so it can claim one more little soul in its palm, that's all it wants to obtain from me, a life. It wants my life, I escaped from it once and

it wants revenge for not being able to slowly melt my flesh and hollow out my eyes with the wind. Revenge is not in my vocabulary though, only equal combat and confrontation stands, I will only give in once the winter steps before me and asks me to dance, a dance of death. I will only give in under fair circumstances, a game of some sorts.

But I can't say that games are my thing either.

And I hope that they don't affect the rest of us, the little whisper that I hear up ahead is enough to know that Winter is claimin' another victim, enticing her into its lair before eatin' her bit by bit. The small amount of moanin' and whisperin' enters my mind painfully and my head begins to ache with a sensation that I cannot describe, like the feelin' of being upside down too long. The voice seems like it comes from a source ahead, and it takes me a small while to pick out the figure of small girl among the heaps of snow, her hair ruffled and her mouth open, muttering to herself. Next to her is a slightly quivering sign, a dent in the corner right next to where she lay collapsed. Clumsy her, fallin' like that makin' me go out to help her, or to maybe give her some advice. Such like, "Why are you out here in only those clothes." or, "You're going to freeze." I've learned with my sisters that sometimes harsh words work better thann bein' calm, in some cases they can even preserve the prospect of a life, and they can scare a being into their heart poundi'g with a definite beat. Haste is the key, and with the girls blue lips I'm not sure she's got that much longer.

"Dear, why ya in the snow like that."[/i] [/color]I begin to call, "Did ya hit the sign there, are ya hurt or anythin'?"

I wish I didn't call out, I wish that I had just kept quiet and hid behind the corner with a grim expression crossing my face. As soon as she sees me a scream fills my ears and she begins to stand up frantically, turning and looking at me for one petrified moment before beginning to walk away.

"I just wanted to see if ya were okay," I mutter under my breath, was I really all that scary.

I hoped not.




( note : I'm sorry this is so awful :c. I'm museless right now XC )[/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/color]

[Nighty the foamy squirrel]

CAITLYNN NIGHTBIRD

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I take another step back and look almost wide eyed at the person who I noticed was looking at me. My head lowering and my hair deliberately falling around my face to cover it up. I didn't hear what the girl said really but I shouldn't bother them about it. I don't want to cause more pain. That's all it seemed I did. So what I do is just stand there, hands underneath my elbows and my arms around my body to preserve what little heat I had left. Still shivering only now it was violent. My lips, hands and toes felt numb and my eyes where starting to sting as I look through my covering hair. Trying to focus on the person at the corner. I only screamed because I thought she saw me with my trackies down, I hope she didn't take it to heart.

My mind switches back to the situation at hand and I quickly look around, the person was blocking my access to the grocers and the way back just seemed too daunting. I needed warmth though... I was going to freeze to death if I stayed out here much longer. I decide I should talk to the person, maybe they could help me? Maybe even let me in their house so I can warm up a little? "Oh shut it Cait, you are not going to get in their house you don't know them you idiot" I whimper at my thought then sigh, it was probably right. I slowly take a step back again only to end up falling back again. My feet not raising high enough and the thick snow tripping me up, my sight fizzes upwards in a fizzle of colours and I land on my back, near enough the same as when I hit the sign. Only difference was my trackies didn't fall again. I lay near enough spread over the snow and just give up, my hair falling backwards to reveal a pair of near enough clear blue lips and extremely red cheeks. Maybe I should just wait for death to come get me? What was the point?

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[OOC] Hush, it's better than mine. xD

[willow .]

VESPER - RAE - CAMPBELL

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They used to tell me that I was like the sun. Faith would look into my big eyes and call me the light of the entire world. Her soft fingers would run against my face and her smile would contrast with her beautiful red hair, my big sister, the show-off she was . Each tooth perfect and the light lines of eyeliner complimenting her brilliant eyes, why did she feel the need for make-up to cover up what didn’t exist. Why did my sister feel the need to doll ‘erself up, to push ‘erself to the limit to – attempt to - be a divine creature? I know she will never reach her goal, she knows that her finger will never touch on the tip of beauty. And yet she will never except it, she continues to stand in my face and flaunt off what she has, the little that shows though the layer of paint.

And now I remember her, the warm look in her eyes as I look over and back at the small girl, her rear-end stuck in the snow and her lips blue as the sky. It takes all I have not to laugh, to stand there and just keep tryin’ to get the courage to say somethin’ to her, anythin’ at all.

“Um, ya cold?” Stupid, absolutely stupid thing to say.

Out of all the things to say I ask if she is cold, socializin’ has never really been my thing. And my hands fumble under the threadbare coat wrapped around me; I can’t quite muster up what would be appropriate to comeback with, considering my previous comment.

“I mean, of course your cold,” I try to laugh kiddingly, nothing in her face is lifelike though, nothing hints humor nor the slightest sign of a smile. It makes me sad to stand there and to just watch her with fascination, surely she feels awful with me lookin’ at her like this?

“My names’ Vesper,” I begin to walk towards her and its only seconds before a blood-curdling scream escapes from her lips, the air is bitterly silent between the light falling of the snow and the small ringin’ of the shop bells, for one moment everything stays frozen in time. Even the cold seems to seize as though pulled back to the heavens, all in that one minute of pure agony let loose by the girl.

“I didn’t mean to scare ya, ya know that right?” I try to calm her down, I really do. “Here, come with me, I can take ya home, it’s real warm there ‘kay?”

I use all of my strength to pick her up by the arms and to propel myself forward into the blistering cold of the snow, I can only hope that she’ll come on her own accord. I’m a stranger an’ all to her but how long she’s got left, three hours? She knows it and I know it, it aint real long.

I can only hope the girl ‘aint stupid.

(occ - tryin' a new format <33)

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[Nighty the foamy squirrel]

CAITLYNN NIGHTBIRD

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By this point I had given up, and I'm laying near enough spread over the snow, the same substance falling over my face and body as I blankly look up to the sky, all will to move, get up, had gone. What happened to the old me? Where I would only get depressed if something bad had happened, but despite that I would be very happy, always seeing the brighter side of things, where did that go? The snow starts biting at my skin with it's temperature, just adding to my freezing form, and after raising my head to look at myself it just falls back against the snow, my hair spewed everywhere underneath my body, the blonde rebounding any light that hit it lightly to make it look like it was shining. I wonder what a mess I looked like to the person. There was no way I looked tidy.

I begin to close my eyes, now really just waiting for the freezing hands of death to take me in, there was no point in fighting it. However my eyes shoot back open as I here someone speak "Um, ya cold?" the question makes me raise my head slowly to look at the person, I don't know how clear it was from the distance but I was looking at her with a slightly shocked and a slightly annoyed face, then I just let my head flop back down. Did she, really just ask that? I'm not laying in the snow in hardly 3 layers of clothing which don't even fit me, in freezing cold weather am I? I sigh to myself and roll my head to the side, was the world just teasing me now? Mocking me in my last hours of existence or was this person just deciding to be one of those "funny" people? Either way it was cruel, and they needed to leave me alone. However I quickly learn that wasn't going to happen, and I hear her laughing tone as she somewhat pardons her previous statement, was this a joke to her?

I go to look at my tormentor again, it was definitely a girl because of her voice, I clicked that a while a go but really why torture me like this? Then, I hear foot prints and she states her name, my head, slowly then turns to look and my eyes shoot wide, and I make a scrambled move and let out one of the loudest screams I could muster to try and get her away. Then everything seemed to freeze, and the calm after the storm came into effect so to speak, my eyes glued to her, widened and somewhat scared as my lips trembled softly, my body shaking not due to fear but due to the cold still. At least I was sitting up now though, facing the other female... Jasper? Jesper? Or was it Vesper? Either way she crept me out, and I don't want her near me. She was probably just going to cause more pain anyway, then again, this was my fault, if I didn't exist this wouldn't have happened. If I wasn't here I wouldn't be causing a problem. I let my head drop and my body visibly inflates and deflates as I sigh. This was my fault.

I quickly glance up to the girl as she speaks again, my hair covering my light blue eyes gaze but my ears, as red and sore as they are pick up on what she is saying “I didn’t mean to scare ya, ya know that right?” I try to calm her down, I really do. “Here, come with me, I can take ya home, it’s real warm there ‘kay?” As the words calculate in my head, for some reason taking longer than usual to make sense I look up to her a little confused, then I look around, equally as confused before the words click and I snap my head back at her, my light blue lips completely numb but replying with "U-urm, s-sure? Urm, where's h-home?" I look straight into her eyes with confusion instead of fear leaking through them, but aside my question she stands me up, grabbing my arms and pulling me so I balance on my feet. Causing my trackies to fall down again, though this time I pay no attention, my body all of a sudden wildly confused.

I continue to stand there with my trackies around my ankles, my skin a stark red with seemingly peach coloured patches dotting around, my ears a crimson and my lips nearly sky blue, my eyes wide and looking all over the place as the girl starts moving. "Urm... How did I get here? Urr, what am I meant to do now? Was I meant to follow her? Were my trackies meant to be down?" My eyes follow my thought train and eventually end up looking down at my now bare legs, again my underwear being covered by my other sized top but still, was it meant to be like that?

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[OOC- Confusion is a sign of Hypothermia, thought I'd add it in.

[willow .]

VESPER - RAE - CAMPBELL

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This doesn't make much sense
Think far out but I'm still locked in
I'm still lost
Walk in circles

Hardly even taking a few steps forward, I immediately see how cold she really is, the way that her eyes keep darting to the side and her face is stained red with a pure hue like blood. Small blotches of white dot her child-like cheeks and white teeth are outlined against the apparent, almost purple, color of her lips. Her voice is thin and each breath seems to escape her, bring her down to a level of understanding how death slowly steals one’s breath away. It hurt to stand there and watch her die, every inch of my heart was willing me to step forward and embrace her, wiping those frozen eyes and telling her it was all going to be okay. Sadly enough though, she looked so deep into it, the thing we call hypothermia. If she were to even live, much less be able to function properly any time soon, she would need help fast. From people with stretchers to masked men, taking a hold of her limp body and taking her off to the medical center. Unfortunately, this was district 10, not the Capitol. Luxury was not something that we were allowed, permitted to have our own. Life was given to us harshly and that’s how it was expected to stay.

Frigid hands wrapped in bundles of cloth, winds whipping down on out useless head without anyone stopping it. If only we were treated like equals, like every rich little snob in the Capitol, life would be perfect. Those higher powers have no idea how much they affect our lives, even with just a twitch of a hand. Even the nod of a head, and we could be gone. They tell us that’s how simple it really is. Intimidation, good strategy. Not good enough though; they’ll have to try harder than that to bring me down. They would have to force us into absolute submission, away from our carefully knit live and have us bend down to our knees. Empty threats are useless.

And this poor girl, she can’t even stand up, the snow fills around her feet and lays embedded in her small, deathly-pale hands. No gloves are in sight, no warmth what so ever for this little girl. Just simply the comforting, pure, white trap around her that will slowly claim another victim. I cannot allow that to happen!

“Home is this way,” I try to reach my voice up and over the wind, I try to walk towards her. Everything seems to be preventing me from reaching her, the wind hates me now and catches in the loose folds of my coat, pulling me back only further. “Can you stand?” I can only hope that my screams are audible, her words are beginning to slur as they rush over the loud flurry of snow that coats the air with a crimsoned kindness.

STILL WORKING ON THIS, ABOVE IS TOTAL WORD VOMIT, SORRY >.<

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