i told you to be patient ~. [thundy]

[pika]

they call me casey.

I don't understand why I am here. I don't understand why I am anywhere, really. The fact that I am outside is a remarkable feat. I have found myself at the edge of the District, the fence a mere ten feet in front of my face. From inside the safety of the District, the forest looks so large and unending. I can't fathom how far back the shadows and treetops must go; are the other Districts as fortunate to see this as mine is? Or is District Six the lucky one, the only place in this nation where a plethora of trees is visible? District Six is the middle District, the one that is not too poor yet not too rich to be hated by the poorer ones, either. Stuck in the midst of it all, ignored by all until the Hunger Games come into the picture. Like you, Casey.

I need to get out of this place. The sun has turned me into some kind of squinting, stumbling creature as it blares into my eyes and blinds me entirely. The summer sunlight is a cruel thing, turning your skin unnatural colours the longer you spend time underneath it. I spend my time indoors for that exact reason, yet sometimes I wonder if sheltering myself from any natural form of light is good for my skin, either. I am unnaturally pale, and with my veins so simply visible and the dark circles under my eyes so prominent it is difficult to think otherwise. Yet, I would rather have a lack of sunlight than an excess of it. The sunlight may come and go but the darkness is always there in one form or another. You can never escape it.

But Zak would love this day. He would smile at the sky, his white teeth glistening into the sun, eyes twinkling and hair sparkling. Everything about him radiated beauty, especially in the grandness of the daytime. Sometimes it is easier to pretend that he is still here than to feel the pain as I soak in that he is gone. It's days like these-the ones that I hate-that remind me of him the most. We were complete opposites, yet I strived to view the world in the way that he did. To be like him was a blessing that no person could ever deserve. Having him as a brother, a best friend, a lifeline was an unmitigated honour. Don't worry Casey, I'm still here.

My bare feet scrape across dry strips of bark and large stones as I scramble home, finding my hands flying toward the ground more times than I'd like to. I am halfway across the barren field when I fall again, perhaps for the fifth time. The sun is brutal and unrelenting, and I do not know the point of me going home any more. I will surely find myself hurtling down again, except I have a higher chance of returning home with a broken bone than arriving unscathed. I cannot go home, not now. I cannot face the violence that settles in the walls of my house, the sounds that escape Mom's mouth as Dad's fist connects with every inch of her frail body. I cannot go home, for fear that he will do the same to me. I cannot go home. I settle down on a pleasantly large patch of soft grass, stretching out my limbs and staring into the bright brilliance of the sky. It is a warm day, and the small zephyr that makes an appearance every so often does not qualify as a breeze. Even though the temperature is steadily increasing as the sun makes its arc in the sky, I cover my exposed skin with my jacket until only my face is visible. Here I will remain until the sun goes down, or until an unfortunate soul discovers me here. Hopefully, neither scenario happens.

Dwindle and fade, Casey...

[Sunrise Rainier D2 // [Thundy]]

Myla --

While she wasn't in the habit of happening upon upset strangers in the middle-of-nowhere District Six, sometimes she couldn't help it. For a while, she watched the strange boy (man? Was it a man?) from the safety of a shadow of a pine tree, holding close to the trunk to remain hidden. Not that the man - or boy, she couldn't tell from such a distance - was looking anywhere. He seemed to have collapsed there, in the middle of the pleasant field.

She weighed the decision - approach or leave him? - but in the end her curiosity took over. Perhaps he was even dead. Quickly, quietly, she threw her backpack over her shoulder and tiptoed through the grasses towards him.

When she got close - but not too close - she spoke up.

"I.. are you okay?"

ooc: if anyone's curious, me and Pika have agreed to blitz this thread since it died a while ago

[/blockquote]

[pika]

Foreign words resonate in my ears as I have just begun to sink into the grass. Foreign not in language, but in tone. I can't remember the last time that I've heard words filled with any type of care; the only kind I hear are saturated with hate and anger, as if the words themselves wanted to exact their revenge on me and not the person that spoke them. I am tired, oh so tired, and this new type of person- the one that is caring and hopeful-has just walked into my life, and I do not have the smallest inkling of energy to deal with it. I just want to fade away into the grass, dissolve entirely into its depths and become one with it. Nobody would really miss me; my parents would hardly notice my absence. I'm pretty sure they would embrace it, really.

"Is anyone?" I present apathetically to the breeze, the words carried along to the unknown person behind me.

[Sunrise Rainier D2 // [Thundy]]

Emotions were not a field of expertise for Myla Closson, and neither were emotional people. Specifically, dealing with them. Honestly, she was kicking herself for being curious in the first place. What an odd boy, laying on his back in the grass, questioning the meaning of life. She didn't know him, didn't care one bit about him, but somehow she couldn't bring herself to tiptoe away.

"Is anyone?" he asked, staring up at the sky. He seemed hopeless and lost. Even in her darkest times after losing her sister, she wasn't this distraught.

Walking away wasn't an option, but pressing forward and comforting the poor guy didn't seem any better. What was she supposed to say? This was District Six. Didn't they train psychologists for this very reason?

Awkwardly, she stepped forward, hands outstretched towards him though she dared not touch him.

"Yeah, I'm pretty okay. You should be too. Come on, up you go.. " she walked around him and gestured with her arms randomly. "Time to get up."

[/blockquote]

[pika]

The figure of a girl emerged in my peripherals as she began to circle around me, and I watched her halfheartedly as she formed suddenly in front of me. The situation was awkward, with me outstretched on the ground, neck slightly inclined to get a better look at the girl, and her looking down on me with confusion and interest. I did not need this girl, did not want her. She was quite annoying, actually. Why couldn't she leave me alone? She wants to help you, Casey. When's the last time you let someone do that for you?

I blink the sun out of my eyes and take a better look at her, ensured now that she has no intention of leaving me be. Her words continue to be soothing and promising, as if cooing to a kitten stuck in a tree or a puppy stuck under a bed. Indeed, I am as helpless as both creatures, if not more- but she doesn't need to know that. It is not her business. I am not her business. Please leave me alone.

Zak is right, though. I don't think there's been a time where I've let someone help me, do my thinking for me. I don't think I'd ever needed help when Zak was around; now I need it more than ever.

"Yeah, alright," I murmur, the sentence spoken more to reassure myself than to please the girl. I stand up, the sudden motion making my world spin. I struggle for a footing, but miraculously seem to find it even on the unsteady, rocky hill. I must seem a wreck to this girl, this girl that seems to want to help.

[Sunrise Rainier D2 // [Thundy]]

Yeah, alright..

He gets up then, swaying this way and that as he rises from the ground and tries to find the best way to stand. He seems almost woozy, clearly disoriented. Perhaps he was drunk, or had taken some bad medicine. Morphling? This was District Six, after all, and she had heard rumors of people relying on drugs and alcohol to sooth their broken lives. Sometimes she thought of it too, but she traveled day after day in dangerous areas, secretly poking under fences and meandering around the streets. If she were ever drunk, she would be too impaired to defend herself. Defense was key.

Honestly, she regretted her decision to help him at all. Though he obliged to her requests, he had a look on his face that suggested something else. Leave me alone being the clear note.

"What's wrong? Should I take you to, I don't know, a doctor or something?" Did they have medical care in District Six? They must, being the home of scientists and experts in psychology.

Holding out her hands in case he decided to trip and fall, she gestured towards the main part of the District, where help might await if he wanted it.

If.

[/blockquote]

[pika]

I have to laugh at this girl's determination. She only wants the best for you, Casey. Even if she does, I don't understand the hope that she sees in me. Her face is soft and filled with warmth and light, so much that I can't bear to look at it. It reminds me of happier times, the ones with Zak and how I was ecstatic and joyful with him, and not this tired, apathetic creature that I am in this moment. A doctor? Doesn't she know that no doctor in this District can help me, that mother has dragged me around to every dusty corner of it to find someone, anyone, that can help me, that I am hopelessly and completely lost and out of my mind? Doesn't she know that I am beyond the point of salvation, past the point of no return? There is nobody that can help me, and especially not her.

"No. But thanks," I say bluntly, still not eager that she is here. "I've been to every doctor in town, and they all label me the same way: helpless."