Like Deja Vu (COMPLETE)

[gxk]

It's the fear
Fear of the dark
It's growing inside of me,
That one day will come to life.
Have to save
To save my beloved,
There is no escape,
Because my fate is horror and doom.

~Naida~


When Dillon snapped back at her Naida jumped and screamed in surprised. The tears started again. She couldn't do anything right it seemed. No matter what she was always hurting someone. It was impossible to keep everyone happy, but this was ridiculous. It only seemed to confirm what she'd already thought, that she was cursed, doomed to watch people die, and hurt them. And now Dillon thought Alba's death didn't mean as much to her as Raiden's did, and that Raiden was loved more. Both of which weren't true. Naida hadn't even given what she'd said any thought, it had just came pouring out after she had remembered watching her parents try to explain to Raviv and Ilayda what had happened to Raiden and why he wasn't going to be around around anymore.

"I didn't mean it like that... Alba's death hurt just as much, and she was just as important. But I can still remember Ilayda and Raviv's faces when mom and dad told them that Raiden was really dead, not sleeping in the arena, but dead. It was even worse than knowing myself that he was gone. That still doesn't make what I said right. I'm sorry I upset you, and thank you for letting me see her..."

"Y'know that's not true. There's a lot of people that care about you Naida. People that you probably don't even know about. Like Alba's father. Ever since she mentioned you in her interview, and after she died in the Bloodbath, he wanted to know how you were taking it, but I guess he's just hasn't been able to find the words yet."

Alba's father was concerned about her? She'd believed he'd be too worried about Alba to care about her, or maybe resent her like Dillon had. When Raiden had died, people wouldn't leave her alone, they were all so concerned about her and her siblings. When Alba died, people kept there distance from the girl, many shaking their heads, saying she'd finally snapped. And that she didn't share her brother's strength of spirit after all. And that had hurt terribly. Maybe Dillon did know exactly how she felt, maybe he didn't. But it was the most support she'd had in a long time, outside of her family of course. Raviv and Ilayda proved just how strong they were, while Naida had broken down. What a disgrace...

"Snap out of it kiddo. You're doing fine, these things take time."

Her brother's calm voice soothed her, maybe she wasn't a lost cause. Even if she did hear voices of those dead, even if she wasn't the same as she once was, recovery had to start somewhere, why not here?

"Really? Then I'm glad he hasn't seen me like this, yet. I've tended to scare most people away, no one wants anything to do with a crazy girl, and I can't even blame them."

"Naida, people are afraid of things they don't understand. It's nothing you've done wrong..."

Naida looked at Alba's grave, the reminder of what the Capitol had done to her, and to Raiden. But a tiny smirk made it's way to her face. They were the lucky ones. They were free now, no one could ever hurt them again where they were now. Would Takeba get lucky too, or would she manage to walk away a victor? The there was the boy from Twelve, the older brother of last years victor. With Twelve winning two years in a row already, he was doomed right from the start. If she hadn't been sure the reaping was rigged before, she was positive now. Anani, at least that's what she thought his name was, would die without a doubt. And poor Aranica would lose her older brother, like Naida had lost hers. Really the Capitol must get some sick pleasure from breaking apart families. Which wasn't surprising for someone as sick and twisted as they were. Not a day went by, that she didn't wish that things were different, that all the kids who had lost their lives were still here. Even Shanks, as much as she'd hated him for what he'd done to Alba, he didn't deserve to die, at least not the way he had. None of the children had deserved it. Dru and Aranica's story had broke Naida's already shattered heart even more. It would be like if she and Ilayda were the final two in the Games. Of course she'd let herself drown before have any intension of attacking Ilayda. But the idea of it was the same. Sisters should never have to kill each other.

"This years Games... It was bad enough that Takeba got reaped, but so did last year's victor's brother. She's going to loose her brother, just like I lost mine..."

Think a loud, the cruel reality dawned on Naida. Every tribute that went into that arena, was a son, daughter, brother, sister, friend, or lover, to someone. Everyone one of their deaths had to mean something to someone. Raiden had thought her this a long time ago, but blinded by her own pain, it had seemed she had forgotten it. Ilayda and Raviv still looked up to her even though she'd dragged them to hell with her. She had to get better at some point. No matter what it took. There were people who did need her, and the way she was now, she might as well be dead to them. And that just wouldn't do. But she had tried snapping out of it so many times before, and all of them had failed, rather miserably. But now having met Dillon, she'd found a new incentive to try one more time to break out of this vicious cycle once and for all. Ilayda and Raviv deserved at least that much from her. And her parents, the poor things could only take so much, Naida had been terrible for them for a year now. It was high time she got over her problems and learned to cope with everything, for the sake of the people who loved her, and wanted her back.

"That's my little girl, about time you can around." Raiden's smile lit up her thoughts, this was what he'd been waiting for.