Like Deja Vu (COMPLETE)

[Tea]

Dillon

The Reaping. That single word ruined so many people's lives. Dillon hadn't been much different. He stood amongst the other fifteen year old boys, watching as the mayor dug out two more names for this years games. Two more lives to be ruined. As the girl's name was called, Dillon's entire body instantly tensed. It wasn't Alba, obviously, but it had been once. Only a year ago, Dillon had watched as his cousin bravely accepted her fate at District 4's female tribute for the 55th Hunger Games. As much as he'd wanted her to win, and come home, Dillon had begun preparing himself for the worst; if Alba died in that area.

He remembered watching the Bloodbath, seated in front of the tv with his family. Watching Alba fight her fellow tributes. Then, before he even realized what had happened, Dillon had watched Shanks, the male District Four tribute, cut her down. Watched as she took her final breathes, holding her token close to her heart. From that moment on, for whatever reason, Dillon had wanted Shanks to win. If he won, then he would come home alive. Then Dillon could tear him to pieces for killing his cousin.

Dillon was pulled from his thoughts when the mayor pulled the boy's name. It wasn't his, or Shanks' either. He too was dead. Dillon sighed. Well, he was safe. At least for another year. Turning to leave, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a girl with a flower in her hair. A pink rose. True, Alba's had been white, but still, her cousin's memory haunted him. Every night, he would dream of her death, over and over again, until he couldn't take it anymore and would wake up sobbing. Of course, Dillon never told anyone he was depressed, over something like Alba's death. That wouldn't go over well in his family, especially considering the ongoing feud between the Wore and Hache families. But of course, that hadn't stopped their friendship. Although Dillon tried to bring to memory some fun times he had had with Alba, more often than not, he came up short. All the fun they'd had over the three years they'd known of each other had been replaced by the Reaping, Tribute Interviews and Bloodbath. The Interviews...Dillon had watched them, with his family. Alba hadn't really seemed herself then, seeing that the entire thing was probably scripted. Apart from her final words of course. Dillon had been waiting to hear her reach out to him, tell him that she loved him. Anything. But no, instead, her words had been directed at her father. Her father and some girl named Naida. The girl who had given her the white rose. That damn white rose, that was more important than he was. God, if he ever saw a white rose again, Dillon was pretty sure he'd lose it.

[gxk]

It's the fear
Fear of the dark
It's growing inside of me,
That one day will come to life.
Have to save
To save my beloved,
There is no escape,
Because my fate is horror and doom.

~Naida~


The reaping was something that scared Naida to core. Raviv was able to be reaped now, there was everything to lose, and nothing to gain. In the fifty-first Games, Raiden had been drawn, it was devastating to the whole family especially Naida. Then he made it to the final two, only to be killed by a fatal chest wound delivered by the blade of a career's sword. Next there was the fifty-fifth reaping. And Alba was draw. Only to die in the bloodbathe. And it was to much to deal with. And Naida finally cracked. Like that chip in your windshield, that when you hit a bump, the whole thing shatters. And here she was, at the Fifth-Sixth Reaping. Her green eyes darted over to Raviv how gave her a reassuring smile, but still she trembled, and was ghostly white. People stood a good distance away from her, not wanting to test her sanity. The mayor drug on and on for a while before pulling the name of the female tribute. It wasn't Naida. It was Takeba, the girl who had showed her so much kindness when she was in such a bad place. Takeba was going to go to the games, and she would die. It was given. Naida had learned better than to hope for anyone's return. Strangled cries began to come from Naida, the trembling becoming more violent. Next was the male tribute. The boy Naida met who had been so mean, seeing him go wasn't as terrible as Takeba. But still it made her feel cursed, both tributes she had been in contact with right before the reaping. Was everyone around her doomed to untimely death?


As soon as the names were called and the Treaty of Treason was read, Naida felt her knees getting weaker. But in a moments notice, Raviv was at her side, supporting her. Murmuring soothing things to her, that didn't have much affect. Straightening the white rose in his sister's hair, he sighed, what terrible luck they always seemed to have. Raiden dead, and Naida damaged possibly repair. Ilayda watched from two feet away, nervous to get to close while her older sister was like this. The white rose in her hair was a symbol for her. It was the flower that Raiden told her about how it meant love in the purest form, purity, and innocence. So when he died, it was white roses that were used. A bed of roses, then a bunch on his grave site. Raviv's touch stung as he guided her away from the square, toward their home near the water.


Stumbling and crying she allowed Raiden to guide her through the mass of people while Ilayda followed close behind. That was when a boy caught her eye. He looked so much like Alba it sent shivers down her spine. Raviv felt the tremor and held Naida up, nudging her past people who shot them looks of annoyance, pity, or confusion. The four siblings looked so much a like it was impossible to not to know Raiden was there, no is, their brother. Naida told herself over and over, dead is only a state of the body, but it didn't ease the thoughts that plagued her mind in sleep, and while awake. The deaths replaying over and over, only more graphic, and Naida was there in the arena but couldn't help, the greatest torture of all. Would she be adding Takeba's death to the mental movies that haunted her being? Without a doubt it would, no questions needed. A woman shook her head in disgust at Naida's condition, Raviv stared her down defending his sister, but Naida didn't care. Let them see her like this, it was no secret that she wasn't who she used to be. No secret that she spent a ridiculous amount of time in the cemetery, talking to those she's lost.


Once again her sights found the boy who looked so much like her friend. She couldn't help but be tortured and want to know more, all at the same time. When she stopped to watch, Raviv practically picked her up to get her home and away from the people of the square, away from everything to do with the Games for as long as he could manage. That was what made Naida feel the worst. Raviv was the one who had to bare the brunt of her insanity. Raiden would have never let his family need up like this, but Naida had. She'd failed, Raiden's footsteps were too much for her to fill, probably too much for anyone to fill. He was their support, of course they had their parents, but they didn't have the insight Raiden had, they didn't have the listening ability that Alba had. No, they were nothing like what she'd lost, what everyone who knew them had lost. Raiden's tombstone was in the shape of a lighthouse, with a spot for a candle. Every evening Naida would go, sometimes alone, sometimes with her brother and/or sister, and place a lit candle there, and talk to Raiden for hours. Then on her way back she would stop and visit Alba for a long while, well Raviv and Ilayda would continue on home. Sometimes it would be late when she returned to their modest house, but her parents knew where she'd been, what she'd been doing. It was the only way Naida knew how to try and cope with the grief. She still managed to force herself to go fishing for extra food, but it was a chore, with so many memories connected to it, it wasn't pleasant like it used to be. That was when a jarring motion snapped Naida back to some what of a state of reality. Raviv had accidentally bumped into the boy she'd seen, while trying to help her home. What a coincidence. Raviv muttered apologies while Naida just looked up, and when she saw his eyes, she new there had to be some relation between him and Alba...

[Tea]

Dillon

Why had Alba's token had to be a rose? A flower that could easily be seen daily. What had been wrong with her mother's necklace, the one that she'd held so dear up until the point she'd been handed that white rose. Then, it had been tossed aside like it was nothing. He remembered a conversation they'd once had about the games. If one of them were reaped, what would their token be, and Alba had answered without hesitation, that she would bring her mother's necklace. Had she thrown that out so easily? Apparently she had valued the rose above that. As well as him...

Suddenly, Dillon was jarred from his thoughts. A boy, maybe twelve or so had walked into him, and started stammering apologies. "Oh, that's okay. It was an acci..." Dillon said, turning. His voice trailed off. He quickly came to the realization that the boy wasn't alone. There was a girl with him. A girl with a white rose in her hair. Dillon's eyes widened. "Alright, what is this? What are you trying to do? Make some sort of pathetic tribute?" he asked, turning to the girl. Who did she think she was, wearing a white rose like that? White roses had become Alba's symbol throughout the course of the Games. Everyone in Panem knew that, from the moment that girl, Naida had...aw great. "Oh. It's...it's you. I didn't think that...I'm sorry. It was your rose that she used. Yeah just...I'm sorry." Dillon stammered, looking down. "Alba, I mean. Sorry. She was uh...she was my cousin."

[gxk]

It's the fear
Fear of the dark
It's growing inside of me,
That one day will come to life.
Have to save
To save my beloved,
There is no escape,
Because my fate is horror and doom.

~Naida~

The boy Raviv had bumped started to apologize, but stopped short of finishing. "Alright, what is this? What are you trying to do? Make some sort of pathetic tribute?" The comment turned the normally peaceful Raviv into an overly protective brother. "Leave her alone." Naida knew everything that ever seemed to go wrong in their lives was her fault. All of it, all her doing. But her little brother and even little sister too, would always defend her. But they are powerless to stop the nightmares, and crazed maze that her world had become. She was somewhat limp in Raviv's arms, just crying, and whispering things no one could understand. Little Ilayda who had been trailing a little ways behind had caught up, hands on her hips she looked up at the boy, "Sissy has worn a flower like that to every reaping since the Fifty-First games ended! So what do you know!?" It was sad really, that even the eight year old had more sense than she had left.


"Oh. It's...it's you. I didn't think that...I'm sorry. It was your rose that she used. Yeah just...I'm sorry." Naida hung her head in a mix of shame, and wanting to disappear. He recognized her from Alba's reaping, then one she should have volunteered for... But she wondered if his memory went as far back as to Raiden's reaping, she'd made quite the scene in the square that day. "Alba, I mean. Sorry. She was uh...she was my cousin." As soon as those words left the boys mouth Naida was sent into one of her infamous break downs. Curling up and sobbing, the crazed whispering started. "All gone... Blood... Dead... Blood... All alone..." The images came rushing back into her head. The sword swipes that killed both Raiden and Alba. Raiden's a strike across the length of his chest, starting on the left and moving diagonal down the right. Alba's a vertical slash at the shoulder that had... Raviv glared at the boy, he had to go and bring that up in front of his obviously unstable sister. When Raviv touch Naida to try and comfort her the girl just screamed and covered her ears. This was going to be a bad one... Ilayda stepped closer to her, but stopped short, not wanting to upset Naida further.


"It's my fault..." she whispered, a shiver shooting down her spine. "I'm sorry...Raiden, Alba, Takeba..." This guy was Alba's cousin, he seemed nice enough, but he probably hated her. Why wouldn't he? Everyone she knew who died also had other people who loved them, so she'd hurt far more people than she cared to finger out. People had pretty much left the square but a few linger, of course their eyes were on her. Poor broken Naida... Didn't have any of the strength that Raiden had had... Some of the things people said hurt, but Naida knew she deserved it. Everything had been a downward spiral since the Fifty-fifth games, only to be made so much worse in the fifty-fifth games. And now Takeba was leaving too. And she would die. There was no way she'd survive. No one she knew that went in the arena could ever make it out alive. It was basically proven impossible.


A sense of anger built up in the crazed Naida. Even if this was Alba's cousin, what did he know? Sure he'd lost Alba too, but he didn't know the half of what happened. Growling Naida pressed her hands firmer over her ears, tears still flowing. Raviv glared at the boy, "You had to set her off didn't you?" He gently patted Naida's back before whispering, "You're fine, come on, we need to get you home. We'll get you in cozy in your room and everything will okay, I'll make dinner tonight. Naida shook her head, she couldn't go home yet, not with things like this. Wild green eyes looked up at the boy, "Cousin?" There was a pause as her mind tried to put two and two together, how close had the two been? "...Who are you?" Raviv and Ilayda seemed to have wanted to ask the same question. But Raviv's need to polite took over first, "It would be rude to ask that before I tell you who we are. That's Naida... I'm Raviv, and the little one with mouth is Ilayda." Ilayda grinned, to her having a 'mouth' was a good thing. Naida removed one of her hands from her ears so that she could hear any response made.


Many a night had Naida laid awake at night wondering 'Why?' Why were they dead so young? Why did so many children who didn't have time to die get set into that arena? Why did there have to be that hell hole in the first place? There was no answers for any of those question that ate at her. No answers for anything really.... Where ever they went, all Naida could hope is that it was a place safe and peaceful, where they could wait for the rest of us without the dangerous of stress of life on earth. There was so much she wished she had gotten the chance to say and do with them, but time was cut short by the evil of the Capitol. But Naida didn't dare speak out against them in fear of what they could do to what was left of her family.



Start Flashback....

Laughter rang out through the summer air, and splashes rippled against the clear ocean water. Raiden and Naida were twelve and nine again. Playing on the beach as they often did. Raviv was still too young to be out here so it was strictly time for the two older children to bond. Naida laughed as Raiden picked her up and tossed her into deeper water. As soon as she surfaced, she spat water in his face.

He grinned, "Oh I'm gonna get you now!"

Naida took off swimming, but of course her eldest brother was a faster and strong swimmer, catching up to her in about two strokes. He dunked her repeated into the salt water, the two of them laughing all the while. When he finally released her Naida scampered up onto their beach towel that sat on the sand, the sun was setting over the ocean, and what better a way to end the day than watch the sun set.

"It's pretty huh?"

Raiden nodded and smiled.

"Promise me you'll always be here?" Naida didn't know why she'd ask such a thing, but she did and anxiously awaiting and answer.

Her brother smiled and ruffled her hair, "Of course I'll be here. I have no intentions of ever going away."

Naida flung herself onto her brother and sat on his lap while they watched the sun a little longer before returning home that night...

End Flashback...



The memories of a happier time only made Naida sob harder. It was so unfair. It was like have the earth pulled out from under you. One minute it's there, and the next, everything you love and care about is gone, without getting a chance to say goodbye. Raiden didn't mean to break his promise, and it wasn't even really him who broke it, it was the Capitol. They stole him, Alba, and now Tabeka away from her, along with her sanity of course. And that meant that they also stole another person from the rest of her family. There was no denying it, Naida knew she wasn't who her family remember her as, who they wish she still was. Honestly, she didn't know who she was anymore, or why she was still here...

[/color]

((ooc- Attack of the muchkins and flashbacks! XD ))[/color]

[Tea]

Dillon

Dillon should have seen this coming. Naida had looked pretty familiar with that rose in her hair. If her looks hadn't said as much, then Dillon should have identified her by the look on her face when he mentioned Alba. Dillon bit his lip, watching as she broke down, a string of nonsense streaming from her mouth. Meltdowns were something Dillon was quite familiar with at this point, but he'd never, ever seen anything like this. Was she breaking down because of him? Because of what he'd said about Alba? God, he hadn't known they'd been such great friends. He thought have thought as much though, seeing that she had been the one Alba had mentioned in her final words. Maybe her death had had more impact on Naida than anyone.

She continued on in her meltdown, saying how their deaths were all her fault. No. If anything, Alba's death had been his fault. If he'd volunteered instead of Shanks, maybe Alba could have made it further in the Games. It had been him who'd delivered the death blow, after all. But then again, they would have probably both died. What would have been the use in that? Dillon stood there, awkwardly as Naida went on, spewing several other names, including the girl who had just been reaped. Damn, had she known them all? Naida must have been though hell in the past few years, with all those deaths. Dillon suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of compassion for her. Just as he was about to say something, the little boy cut in. "You had to set her off didn't you?" Dillon crossed his arms. "I said I was sorry. I-I didn't really think mentioning Alba would cause any harm," Apart from the harm her name already brought himself. "I I should probably go."

As he turned to leave, Naida looked up at him. "Who are you?". "I told you," he replied. "I was Alba's cousin. Dillon Wore." He scuffed his foot along the ground. "Look, I'm sorry for bringing Alb--her up. I didn't know how close you guys were." He paused for a second, silently reflecting on the tribute interviews. "Well actually, I did. She mentioned you in her interview. Me?" he shrugged. "Nah. We didn't know we were cousins for very long. Family feud type thing and all. I'm sure she just forgot or something, and don't hold that against her. It wasn't like she wanted to die." He looked down as the little boy-- Raviv-- introduced them. Though Naida's name was one he already knew. One he'd resented for so long. Strangely enough, that sense of hate was gone. Suddenly, Dillon wanted to share Naida's sense of pain; to mourn with her. "Do you...do you want to see her?"

[gxk]

It's the fear
Fear of the dark
It's growing inside of me,
That one day will come to life.
Have to save
To save my beloved,
There is no escape,
Because my fate is horror and doom.

~Naida~


Naida heard the boy tell her brother that he didn't think mentioning Alba would cause any harm. But it had, it was the last straw today, when she was already on the verge from the reaping. Raviv and Ilayda still tried to calm her back down, but she was in that state where it was all futile. It not only hurt her mind at this point but her whole body would hurt, and her eyes didn't seem to be able to focus in on anything that was really. Almost like she could see something that everyone else didn't, which of course was just her crazed mind playing dirty tricks on her. The same tricks that left her screaming in the middle of the night waking her family up. In turn making her feel guilty because they all had hard work to do fishing, and it was hard to sleep with piercing shrieks coming from the girls' room. Ilayda would often need to share a bed with her so that she had something to cling to for comfort. But the tiny girl somehow didn't have the same soothing effects as her well-build older brother had had. Raiden was sturdy in every sense of the word, both psychically and mentally. To die with a smile and a small laugh, he accepted losing the games and his life with the utmost grace. Never cried, never screamed, never sad a bad word about anything. Just goodbye to his family, the final words being directed at Naida. And Naida had been a part of Alba's last moments too, was she really this connected to death?

The sound of Raviv reeled her mind back in for the time being. "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. Naida's just... Sensitive about that kind of thing and I need to protect her as much as I can." Sensitive, what a joke, he was just skipping around the word insane as not to make her feel bad. But honestly, there wasn't much left to drop to at this point. Ilayda tugged on her shirt, "Sissy? Please be ok...We're all worried about you." The eight year old's words only choked her up more, they were worried about her, she was causing them pain. Was there anything she was good for anymore? No likely. Family feud... That was a problem Naida had never had, sure sometimes they would have disagreements, but never anything near as serious as keeping them apart. What a shame, but the again if she had not been so close to her brother would it have hurt less? No. Because she'd be wishing she'd spent the time with him while he was still here. Maybe the world was trying to tell her she should live alone somewhere so that people who knew her would stop having to suffer for the things she did.

"Don't be silly Naida... Your family loves you and wants to be with you. Please don't cry for me, don't you know how much I love to see your smile...."

The voice brought her trembling to a halt, now she was still as a statue. Raiden? Oh course it was him, she'd know that voice anywhere, anytime. But she couldn't stop crying, not yet. Not with everything that had hit her once. The mornings so lonely, the reaping, the death, seeing her baby brother and sister going off to work while she struggled to go on a simple fishing trip. Everything people loved about her seemed to be gone. All that was left was sorrow, anger, guilt, and loneliness. Raviv was supporting her weight figuratively, and psychically right now. He's only twelve, he's just a boy who's had to grow up too fast, because of me... Thinking back made her feel terrible, she'd been so cruel when they saw Raiden's death on TV... When Raviv had asked we he was sleeping in the arena instead of fight, she shrieked that Radien was dead, and was never coming home. Of course that made the little ones burst into tears, followed soon after by Naida, and their parents. Really it has been well over four years now, and she still really hasn't been able to say goodbye.

"It's okay to hurt, but try not to think of it as a goodbye, but instead as, until we meet again..."

The words of her brother brought Naida back to the real world, well sort of, about as close as the mad girl could get. Tears still streaked down her face, but they were starting to slow, her breath was a little more steady now. "Do you...do you want to see her?" The boy who had introduced himself as Dillon was offering to take her to see Alba... She'd been sure he hated her, but now it didn't seem like it. The suggestion made Raviv look uneasy though, "I'm not sure you're up to it today Naida." She steadied herself with help from Raviv's shoulder. Her voice still trembled but she managed two complete sentences. "I'll be fine Raviv, take Ilayda and head home. I need to go with Dillon for a little while." Raviv looked like he was debating saying something but instead just nodded, before taking Ilayda's hand and guiding the little girl towards their home. Well walking away he cast a glance over his shoulder at Dillon, a warning of sorts, that he would be a dead man if he hurt Naida.

"Accepting is the first step to healing... I'll see you around little one..."

Raiden's voice faded away, even thought she longed to hear more of it. But he'd said he would be back... And now she was taking advice from dead people, no wonder everyone called her crazy. She looked nervously over at Dillon, she didn't really know him, but somehow felt she could trust him. Her hand reached up to the spear tip that hung from her necklace, brushing her fingers against it was a reminder that her brother was still with her, and the white rose in her hair, a tribute to both him and Alba. And more than that, a reminder to any Capitol citizen that say her on the District Four reaping, would know that she hasn't forgotten or forgiven them for what they stole from her, and from everyone who knew Raiden, Alba, and soon Takeba. "Thank you..." It was directed at both Dillon as well as those who's deaths had done more than cause agony, but taught her lessons that she never would have otherwise learned. Maybe there was hope for her yet, but she didn't dare put too much faith in the idea, because god knows it had all come crashing down before, and it could again.

[/color]

[Tea]

Dillon

Naida was still breaking down. Maybe not as much as before, but she was still sobbing, screaming absolute nonsense. When he'd offered to take her to see Alba, Dillon hadn't been thinking. At least, not as much as he should have. Originally, he had thought taking Naida to Alba's grave would give her some sort of closure. Very, very few people knew where Alba was buried, for her father hadn't wanted to be bothered with curious fans who had taken an interest in her during the games. After observing her for a few more minutes, he realized that maybe she wasn't stable enough for something like that. Her brother seemed to see the same thing, going onto say that it wasn't a good idea. Naida though, had a mind of her own. I need to go with Dillon for a little while. She needed to. Maybe taking her to Alba wouldn't be a bad thing after all.

"I'll take care of her," he said, watching Raviv and Ilayda leave. Then it was just him and Naida. And Alba. Alba had never left really, Dillon had noted. Her presence was everywhere. At least for him. Maybe Naida felt the same way. "Let's go." He reached out and gently took her hand into his. He didn't know her, Dillon realized, and maybe this action was pushing boundaries, but somehow he felt as though he knew her. The connection they had to Alba was somehow enough to break the ice in a way that words never could. Plus, from what Dillon could tell, Naida needed his support.

As they walked, Dillon realized that there were a million things he wanted to ask Naida. How had she and Alba met? What was the importance of that damn white rose? How had she felt watching the interviews? The Bloodbath? He glanced over at her. Though he'd only seen her once before, a year ago now, Dillon knew she wasn't the same person she had been. She obviously lost a fair amount of weight, and it looked as if a shadow had been permanently cast upon her face. As though she had might as well be dead. Naida looked so fragile that Dillon knew such questions weren't a good idea right now.

"So uh," Dillon tried, trying to break the rather awkward silence that had settled between them. "Know how there's that headstone, for Alba? 'Yknow in the graveyard?" Not waiting for an answer, Dillon continued on. "Well it's just a memorial. Her body isn't there." Dillon paused for a second, looking back at Naida. Her eyes were so pained that Dillon so badly wanted to help her, to make her feel better. It was selfish as well, though, in a way. He himself was so pained, daily. Nothing brought him joy anymore. Maybe, just maybe, bringing happiness to Naida's life would fill the void that had been there since the 55th Games. It was worth a shot, at the very least.

[gxk]

It's the fear
Fear of the dark
It's growing inside of me,
That one day will come to life.
Have to save
To save my beloved,
There is no escape,
Because my fate is horror and doom.

~Naida~


When Dillon reached out and took her hand in his it jolted her back to a time when Raiden was still alive. The touch was so similar to his it took her a moment of convincing to force herself to remember that this wasn't Raiden, it was Dillon, and they were going to see Alba. Naida admired Dillon's strength, it was only a year after Alba's death and here he was taking someone he hardly knew to see her. When her brother had died she couldn't talk to anyone about, she'd spend hours at his grave all by herself. But she was never really alone, because at his grave site over looking the sea, it felt like he was still there, strong as ever. Questioned filled her head What had the feud been over? How had he managed not to snap while she'd come completely unglued? And most importantly how was he feeling. Raviv mourned Raiden too, but in a quite Raviv like way. He cried time to time, but would always be smiling whenever someone was looking, he'd only let himself look vulnerable around his family. People constantly asking the three sibling how they were holding up, or how their parents were taking it, only made it worse. It was nice people cared, but it was like salt in an open wound. What did those people know anyway? They weren't the ones who'd lost a brother, a son, a best friend.


"Know how there's that headstone, for Alba? 'Yknow in the graveyard... Well it's just a memorial. Her body isn't there." That surprised Naida a bit, so it was just a memorial she'd been visiting this whole time? Though she could understand it. Raiden's grave wasn't in the normal part of the cemetery, there was a special spot that they knew he would want to be laid to rest, also it was nice to not have to worry about loads of other people crowding his grave, especially since Naida went there everyday, and really didn't want any strangers for company. "Really? We did something kind of like that with my brother... To get to his grave you have to go up a wooded trail in the back of the cemetery. It leads to a ledge over looking the sea, the sunsets there are beautiful... So we buried him there, it was his favorite place to take me and the little ones when he was alive. We'd spend hours just watching the sky and sea." It was the longest time Naida had spent continuously speaking in a good while. For the past year, she'd been selectively mute, or screaming random things in one of her mental tailspins.


The mandatory viewing was awful as well. Being forced to watch children fight for their lives in an arena, and have to kill each other. It was worse when you knew one or more of the tributes, and there was nothing you could do to help them. Sponsoring sure, but that wasn't the same as being there. Being able to hold them, and protect them, take them home safe and sound...



Start flashback....

The Grand Finale of the Fifty-First Hunger Games flashed on the screen of the Gardez's family tv. Raiden from Four, against a boy from two. A sword vs a spear, a killer vs a fisher, not a favorable match up.

Raiden managed to block a few swipes from the sword, and get a few attacks in on his opponent, the fight had been going on for hours now. The two exchanged words, both desperate to get home, but for very different reasons. That was when it all went wrong. A gurgling noise was heard, then muddy water began to appear under Raiden, it quickly became apparent that he was sinking. Once the gulp reached the middle of his calves, all hope was lost, he was completely stuck in place, there was no possible way to escape. The boy from two moved in, just out of reach of the sink hole, but still close enough to kill Raiden.

There was a flash of silver and crimson, followed by a splashing sound. Raiden fell backward into the mud, red blood mingled with the brown water. His chest had been torn wide open. There was no one who could save him from a wound like that.

The boy from two how ever yelped, Raiden had thrown his spear at the last moment in an attempt to save his life, it stuck in the boy's side, but not deep enough to be fatal.

Naida and all of her family were paralyzed for a moment. Was this real? Had that sink hole been there all along? Or was it some ploy from the Gamemakers to ensure that their Victor was the blood thirsty tribute from two.

Then a smile made its way onto Raiden's face. "Mom, Dad, Naida, Raviv, Ilayda... I'm sorry I won't be coming back, but I'm going home now. I love you all, and I'll see you again someday..." His voice was weakening with each word, he was fading fast. "...Naida, please remember I'll be a better place, and that you are never alone. We'll always be together little sister, just a heartbeat away..." And with that his heart stopped. Canon fired. Raiden was dead. The boy from Two was declared the victor.

Back at the Gardez house, all hell had broken out, sobbing, screaming, begging. All was useless, but what else could they do?

A little later in the week, Raiden's body was sent home in a wooden box, his chest closed up so he'd be presentable at his funeral. And there was a small note, in his beautiful hand writing, for Naida to take his spear tip necklace, his token.

He was buried on a bed of white roses, on the ledge over looking the sea. The tombstone, a beautifully carved lighthouse, with a small place to put a candle. His name, date of birth, date of death, and a beautiful poem were all carved in the soft gray stone. Raiden Gardez was dead, but not his memory or spirit.

End flashback...



The memory made a shiver course through Naida, Dillon of course probably felt it, seeing as he was holding her hand. Her grip on him tightened, she need someone to help her stay ground, and Raviv wasn't around to be that lucky someone right now. There was no way she was going to let herself lose it right now. Not when she had to go see Alba, she couldn't let herself fall apart, at least not yet.

[Tea]

Dillon

Dillon was surprised at Naida's reaction, when he'd told her about Alba's headstone. She'd launched into a story about her brother, Raiden, and how when he'd died they'd placed his body in his favourite spot. He wondered if that would have been something Alba would have wanted. To be laid to rest somewhere else. But of course, she hadn't had a say in the matter when she'd arrived in that plain wooden box.

He remembered that day so, so clearly. She was so pale, even more so than normal, still clutching that pathetic rose to her heart. At least they'd sewed her arm back on. That would have been... god, Dillon didn't even want to think about how that would have been. They had returned her mother's necklace as well, and they'd given back the other few belongings that Alba had brought to the Capitol. The same day, they had buried her next to her mother, in the hole her father had dug the day of the Bloodbath. Dillon couldn't imagine how he'd felt digging that. His uncle had first buried his wife, and now his teenage daughter, not yet seventeen. Still with so much life. Alba had been all the family he had left, with the feud and all. But really it was over now. The two families weren't exactly on the best of terms, but they had mourned along with him, and Dillon was always welcome to visit Alba whenever he wanted. Like now.

"I'm so sorry about your brother," Dillon said, looking at Naida. "That must have been...hard. With him dying, then Alba." In fact, Dillon couldn't imagine losing anyone else. One cousin was certainly enough for anyone. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. But, there was no turning back now. Mr. Hache's house was now in view, and Alba was all the more closer. He looked at Naida again, and gave her hand an encouraging squeeze. "We're here. If you don't want to do this, I understand." He stepped up to the gate, and popped the latch. "Ready?"

[gxk]

It's the fear
Fear of the dark
It's growing inside of me,
That one day will come to life.
Have to save
To save my beloved,
There is no escape,
Because my fate is horror and doom.

~Naida~


"I'm so sorry about your brother... That must have been...hard. With him dying, then Alba."

Naida took a shuddering breath and nodded, "It is." She emphasized the worse is because it still was hard, it still hurt, it was still the thought that haunted her in sleep and while awake. "I wasn't always like this... But between Raiden and Alba, I finally lost it. Everyone knows I'm completely crazy..." Her voice was barely audible. Admitting she was crazy was still difficult, because it was the same as admitting she'd let Ilayda and Raviv down. And after the multiple scenes she'd made in town, it was no secret that she wasn't stable. People talked, but it didn't matter anymore. What they said, or did, wasn't going to change anything. Her parents were desperate to get her back, but she'd become unreachable. In her own little hell, no one else knew what it was like for her.


"I fear who I am becoming,
I feel that I am losing the struggle within.
I can no longer restrain it,
My strength it is fading,
I have to give in."


A reassuring squeeze from Dillon brought her mind back to District Four. "We're here. If you don't want to do this, I understand.. Ready?"

The blood drained from her face, but she forced herself to step forward toward the gate. If there was any change of recovering, it started here. "I'm ready..." The gentle salted breeze that blew through Four was like whispers to Naida. But there was a new voice in it. Takeba... Her free hand shot to her head in a feeble attempt to stop the pain and racing thoughts. They were going to see Alba now, and this looked like it was her father's house. What would he say? What would he think of the crazy girl who'd given the rose to daughter?


"Long ago it came to me
And ever since that day,
Infected with its rage
But it ends today."


When Dillon opened the latch Naida though her heart was going to stop, but it didn't, the same beating was still in her chest, only double time now. It wasn't like going to Raiden's grave, this was different, she wasn't alone or with her siblings, she was with Alba's family... Raviv wasn't here to catch her and drag her home if things started to get out of control... Poor Dillon probably had no idea what he had gotten himself into when he offered to take Naida to Alba's grave. There was no such thing a beautiful goodbye. Goodbyes, Naida had decided, were like poison... A poison that ravaged the mind and body, eating away at everything that you thought you could hold onto.


Start flashback...

Raiden sat almost alone in the Justice Building, the rest of his family had left to give him a moment alone with Naida.

Naida was draped over Raiden sobbing, the eleven year old clung to her older brother, her everything. She was no fool, he was going to the Hunger Games, there was little to no chance of him coming home. Her tiny form trembled, this was probably her last chance to hug her brother. The most pain part was when she felt him shaking, and a single tear fell on her shoulder.

Raiden knew he wouldn't see Four again.

But Naida refused to believe he would die, he had to live, he was her big brother, and he promised he'd always be here. Raiden never broke a promise. "Y-you've got to come h-home! Raiden don't l-leave me!"

A sigh was heard from the fifteen year old boy. More tears threatening to spill over. "N-naida... I have no choice. I-I want to come home, but so do twenty-tree other kids..."

"N-no. You have to come back, or I'll d-die." The young Naida didn't understand anything other than she could lose her big brother forever, and that couldn't happen. "Raiden... I you die, I'm coming too."

Those words made Raiden's head snap up. He looked down into his sister's tearful eyes. "No. No matter what happens to me, you have to be strong. Raviv and Ily need you... You can't let yourself die if I do, there are people who love you Naida, I love you, please..."

"I'll try my best-" Naida was interrupted by two Peacekeepers storming in and telling them their time was up. She began shrieking and clinging as one started to drag her from Raiden who was still holding her, not ready to say goodbye. With a sharp jab, one Peacekeeper forced Raiden onto the train while the other dragged Naida away.

This was it, this was goodbye...

End flashback...


"You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that's done's forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done's forgiven"


Naida came back into reality with jolt. That was then, this was now. Focus, Alba now. With any luck this would help her tie up loose ends, and get some closure. Well as much closure as you could find in senseless murder. Her sea colored eyes jumped from the gate, to Dillon, to the sky, and repeat. Her voice seemed to have disappeared, there was no way she could form words right now, but perhaps there was no need for words at this point. Words would only complicate things, and things were complicated enough already. Raviv was probably worried, Naida needed to prove she could handle this, and that her twelve year old brother didn't have to hold her hand the whole time. There was still some strength left in her, deep down, right? All of it couldn't have died with her loved ones, or she wouldn't still be here. Part of her was gone, but she was Raiden's sister, they shared blood, and had to share some of that fighting spirit that he'd shown even in his dying moments. So Naida managed to lift her head a little and walk through the gate, the least she could do for Raiden and Alba was to show them she was still trying to return to her old self, that she hadn't lost all hope, even if she'd came about as close as you could get.

[/justify][/color][/size]

[Tea]

Dillon

"I don't think you're crazy," Dillon said, quietly. He knew that was a stupid thing to say, seeing that he had just seen her not twenty minutes earlier in an absolute meltdown, but to him, Naida wasn't crazy. She was just in pain, just like him. The only difference being that she was outright with her feeling and he kept his bottled up inside. "I mean like, it's understandable that you're upset and stuff." And stuff. Yeah, that summed it up perfectly. Dillon mentally cursed himself for sounding like such an insensitive jerk, before gently pulling Naida by the hand into the backyard.

In the far corner of the yard, looking exactly as they had several weeks ago when Dillon had last visited, were the two headstones, side by side. Several leaves had fallen off the big tree that grew along side them, a reminder that winter was coming. Another season Alba would never again see. Dillon glanced at Naida to see how she was doing. The idea that the headstone on the left was Alba probably hadn't sunk in. Hell, these probably looked like a couple of random headstones of people she didn't know. But they weren't. One wasn't, at least. "The one on the left is Alba," Dillon said, squeezing her hand. "The other one's her mom, my aunt. I never met her though. She died a year before I was born. Dillon dropped Naida's hand and knelt by Alba's grave, picking off some of the leaves. Straightening up, he stepped back to stand alongside Naida. "You okay?"

[gxk]

It's the fear
Fear of the dark
It's growing inside of me,
That one day will come to life.
Have to save
To save my beloved,
There is no escape,
Because my fate is horror and doom.

~Naida~


"I don't think you're crazy...I mean like, it's understandable that you're upset and stuff." Naida thought for a moment, it was the first time since Alba's death that someone said to her, she was not crazy. It was so obvious she was, everyone could see it, even her. "You don't have to try and make me feel better... I know I'm crazy, everyone knows it. Upset people don't do what I do, they don't feel what I feel..." She shivered slightly. People looked at her, people talked about her, they hid there kids from her. Ilayda and Raviv ran the front of the shop, their parents had no choice but to move her to the back of the shop, so that she wouldn't scare any any customers. Naida worked cleaning and preparing fish and equipment while her younger siblings dealt with the people, how sad...

"Naida... Please, don't go to that bad place. Stay here, with Dillon."

Raiden, he was still there, still watching, still trying to help her, and guide her, even after death. That was the kind of person he was though, always putting everyone else before himself. Even in the arena, his district partner's life had been more important to him than his own.

Dillon told her the stone on the left was Alba's. Her breath hitched in her throat for a moment. This was like when she had seen Raiden's grave for the first time. It was chilling, it made everything so real. The proof of death was right there, smacking her in the face.

"You okay?"

I'm alright, as alright as I can be right now..." Her knees gave out when she attempted to kneel down, she fell to Alba's grave. A choked sobbed escaped her throat, and the trembling started up again. This was her fault. It was all her fault. She could have volunteered, but she didn't. She was a coward. She was afraid to face the arena, afraid to go through what her brother had had to go through. He had faced it without a single tear, or cry, or whimper. She ran the other way screaming and raising holy hell, and it wasn't even her.

"Naida... None of us want to see you like this..." His voice took on a more serious tone, "Pull it together for your friend, if not for me or yourself..."

The beastly sounds she'd been making stopped, and she reached a shaky hand out and stroked the name on the headstone. Someone so young should not be dead, but that was the cruel reality of the Games, of the world the capitol forced on them, the people of the Districts. The children who were still paying for the war, the war for freedom, and the rights that they deserved, but were still denied. Lately the peacekeepers had even gotten stricter. Many people, kids even, had been dragged away to the fancy new detention center. And some of them wouldn't come back, they'd rot in jail, be avoxed, or executed.

"I miss you Alba... I'm sorry I couldn't help..." Naida whispered to the grave, "But your safe now right?" Safe, safe was one thing that Raiden and Alba had gained in death and not lost. No one could hurt them now, they were free. But they'd left a ruin of Naida in their wake, and that wasn't there fault either, it all went back to the capitol, and the Games. Raviv wasn't safe, not safe at all. This year was his first reaping, he'd escaped death, but only this time. And just like Raiden, she couldn't protect him, couldn't volunteer, couldn't fight the capitol. And Ilayda... There would only be one year when she could save her. When Ilayda was twelve and she was eighteen. After that, she couldn't do a damn thing to save. Being helpless was the worse feeling to her, to have to stand by and watch the pain of people she loved and cared about. And if anything happened to Ilayda or Raviv, it would be to much for their poor parents to take. Raiden dead, Naida gone from sanity, half their children gone...

She looked up at Dillon, "I'm sorry I didn't do anything to help her. I was so scared, it was so much like Raiden's reaping... I froze, I didn't do anything..." The color drained from her face. How did Dillon not hate her? He was just that much better a person than her... If someone had been as close Raiden as she had been with Alba, and then not saved him, she would hate them with every fiber of her being. Why? Because Naida wasn't a fair person. She would admit, she put far more value on her siblings lives than any other child's. Every year they were ok, she felt happy and relieved, even though two other children were still going to die. It was wrong, but it being wrong didn't change anything in her heart or mind.

"It's because you love them so much, and you are so devoted to them... I felt the same way about the three of you, I still do, I don't want any of you to join me here for a long time to come..."

That made her heart feel almost normal for a moment. Her big brother loved her, he loved all of them, and he'd always be there to protect them. They were a family, and that's what family's do. The trance of happiness couldn't last long enough. And soon she was back at her friend's grave site, with her poor cousin. Was she really cursed or something? Would Takeba die in the Bloodbath, or make it far like Raiden? Did it matter? Death was death. When someone was killed, they would never come back, it was all over. No wonder the lines 'Til death due us part' was included in vows, if anything could tear you away from someone, it was death.

[Tea]

Dillon

Dillon shook his head as Naida protested the fact that, yes, she was in fact crazy. "If you're crazy, then I am too," he said. "I've felt just as much emotional pain as you have," Well, okay maybe she was one up on him in that department, but did it really matter? Even if you lost a hundred people you loved, would it really hurt less? Losing one person and losing two were really same thing. Especially if one of those people was Alba. In the short time that he had known her, she'd been so much more than a cousin to him. Alba had been Dillon's best friend. When she hadn't mentioned him at all in her interview, well, that had hurt. Dillon had thought he had made enough of an impact on her life to at least deserve a mere mention. Instead, that had all gone to Naida.

He watched her now trying to kneel by his cousin's grave. She look so fragile, Dillon noted. It wouldn't take much to knock her down. But there was no need for that. Naida could fall all on her own. Dillon stood by, watching her lay there. The sobbing had started up again, only not as violent this time. As she reached out and gently touched the name on Alba's headstone, Dillon could feel a lump forming in his throat. By the time she opened her mouth to talk to her, the tears were flowing freely. He hardly ever cried. Not when Alba had been cut down in the Bloodbath, not when her body had arrived in that plain wooden box and not when they'd buried her. Of course, he hadn't been alone then. It was when he was alone that he let himself go, sobbing sometimes for hours at night, mourning the loss of not just Alba but all the tributes that were forced to compete in the Games.

When Dillon realized that Naida was looking up at him, he hastily wiped away the tears, embarrassed that he'd been so emotionally overcome. "I couldn't do anything either," Dillon whispered, kneeling next to Naida. "I should have. If I'd volunteered instead of Shanks, then maybe..." Dillon's voice broke, but he knew he didn't have to say anymore. Naida would understand. That kind of understanding was what he needed right now as he buried his face in his hands once more, and just sobbed.

[gxk]

It's the fear
Fear of the dark
It's growing inside of me,
That one day will come to life.
Have to save
To save my beloved,
There is no escape,
Because my fate is horror and doom.

~Naida~


"If you're crazy, then I am too..I've felt just as much emotional pain as you have."


Naida's first reaction to the comment was anger. How dare he assume he knew what she felt? How dare he assume they'd felt the same level of pain? Sure they had both lost Alba, her best friend, and his cousin, and it devastated them. But he hadn't lost his brother, his whole world. Raiden was everything to Naida, he'd been there her whole life, they did everything together for as long as she could remember. And not only did she have the pain of losing him, but the pain of watching Raviv and Ilayda lose him too. When Dillon watched Raiden's games he did have the terrible feeling of hope and fear, two left, so close, but close only counts in horse shoes. He probably just saw it as a disappointing lose for another District Four tribute who'd manged to make it pretty far. But Raiden had been so much more than just another tribute, the same going for Alba. And Naida had lost them both. Who could that make her and Dillon equal in pain? It couldn't.


"You didn't know my brother... To you he was just another tribute. You didn't spend everyday of your life with him to have him torn away. You didn't watch your baby brother and sister lose him too. You don't know exactly how I feel, you may have a better idea than most, but you don't know!" She shrieked, she felt guilty for snapping at him like that when he was trying to help. But no one was trapped inside her mind expect for her, no one knows exactly what she felt. How could they? "...Sorry... I shouldn't have went off like that... But it's like I'm frickin cursed. Everyone I care about dies in that arena. Now Takeba is going to die to. Who's next? Raviv, Ilayda?" Tears rolled down her face as she noticed Dillon had been crying too. Maybe he did know a little more about how she felt than she had originally thought.


"Let him help you... Because from here I can only do so much."

Raiden, I'm trying.. But it's not the same as you.

He laughed, "No one will ever know you the way I do, but you've got to let them try."


Her older brother's word rung over and over in her head. How could people help her if she didn't give them a chance first? They couldn't. But Naida was still scared to try to let anyone help, everyone for the most part thought she was completely crazy, beyond helping. Her family tried their best, but even they didn't have much effect on her anymore. Raviv practically fed her like a baby every night to keep her from starving herself for god-sake. Ilayda wow she shared a room with, would come over and share her bed so that she could fall into a restless sleep. It was all so different than it used to be. Over the course of about five years, her whole life had been turned upside down. Her parents had secretly been preparing encase Naida died, she'd wasting away slowly since Raiden died, and the process had speed up dangerously since Alba, and now Takeba's impending doom wasn't helping. Once shining eyes, dull and filled with the pain of lose, once finely toned body, weak and thin, once warm smile, a lackluster imitation of what it was. And most of all, the fierce and vibrant girl she'd been had retreated into a scared and crazed girl. Really some people didn't even recognize her...


"Alba even knew who my brother was when I first met her, she made the connect instantly. It was nice.. To have someone remember him aside from the Games." A small made it's way to her face at the memory. It was nice when someone remember Raiden as a person and not a tribute. Because he had never wanted to hurt anyone, he only wanted to go home to his family, he had no choice but to kill, and it didn't even matter in the end, because he was dead. But in a way he won. He was free from the Capitol forever, and he died as purely himself, not a monster, not changed in anyway, he hadn't let them ruin him, and that was the greatest victory. Naida felt her upper body growing weaker as she knelled by Alba's grave, until finally it gave out and she was lying in front of the grave with tears still staining her face. One of her hands reached out toward Dillon in an attempt to steady herself. She needed something to hold onto, someone like Raiden had, someone who could be there when she needed them. It wasn't fair to put Raviv in that position, he was just a kid, it wasn't his fault that his older brother had died, enough of Raiden's responsibilities had already fallen to him, he didn't need Naida's sanity thrown onto that as well.


Her finger tips once again brushed the spear tip necklace, before making their way down to a seashell shaped locket, with the last picture taken of her entire family before Raiden's death. There were still people and things to live for, she could not let herself forget this. Reaching into her pocket she pulled white rose pedals out, and sprinkled them on Alba's grave, they were normally for Raiden's resting site, but she felt using them here was worth it, and that Raiden would be proud of her. Besides, she'd see her brother later, and light the candle at his grave, you could sometimes see it's tiny light from the shallows of the beach. A lighthouse of a sorts, just what Raiden had been in her life, as well as her siblings, what he still was to them. Not a day goes by that the family doesn't pray for him, and the family of his District Partner and her family, who he had tried so hard to keep alive. Naida so course would also pray for Alba, and her father. But now there was Dillon too. What really where the chances of Raviv bumping into him today, and then him inviting her to come see Alba? At that moment she could practically feel Raiden smiling down on her...

[Tea]

Dillon

All he'd been trying to do was try and help Naida cope with Alba's death. Telling a girl she wasn't crazy shouldn't be such a terrible thing. Especially in Naida's case, when everyone around her thought as much. So when she'd turned around and snapped at him the way she had, Dillon couldn't help but be slightly surprised. As she spoke of how they were different, how somehow his death had had so much more an impact on everyone who knew him, Dillon couldn't help but feel anger bubbling up inside him. So Alba wasn't important to her? Her death hadn't been as heartbreaking as Raiden's? At this point, every death in the Games was important. Every tribute reaped counted. It was one more friend, sibling or significant other that the Capitol had taken away. One more innocent life that had been snuffed out why? So that the Capitol residents could have a little entertainment.

"Are you saying that Alba's life wasn't important too?" Dillon could feel his entire body tense as he spoke. "I can't believe you! Making me believe that you care enough about Alba for me to invite you to visit her grave, only to tell me that Raiden's death was more significant because he was your brother? Because more people loved him?" His voice was breaking now, and Dillon could feel tears rolling down his cheeks, but he was on a roll. "Well Alba may have not had a big family, but she was just as loved as Raiden was. And we're exactly the same. You haven't suffered any more than I have. I don't care how many people you've lost. We're exactly the same."

He pressed his fists against his eyes for a minute, swearing under his breath. Naida didn't really deserve that, but what she had said wasn't fair. Just because Alba hadn't been his sister didn't mean they hadn't been close. Of course, she hadn't mentioned him in her interview. That still stung, but it hadn't been Naida's fault. When she started apologizing, that fact was only reinforced. Dillon felt like such a jerk.

Dillon sighed heavily, listening to her say that she was cursed. That everyone she cared about was cursed, fated to die in the area. For the first time since his outburst, he looked back at her. "Y'know that's not true. There's a lot of people that care about you Naida. People that you probably don't even know about. Like Alba's father. Ever since she mentioned you in her interview, and after she died in the Bloodbath, he wanted to know how you were taking it, but I guess he's just hasn't been able to find the words yet." Dillon looked back over his shoulder at the house as he mentioned Alba's father. He wondered if he was there. Unlikely, seeing as though he spent almost all his spare time out fishing, but he wondered all the same.

His Uncle Troy had coped a lot better than many people would have thought. At first it had seemed as though he was in a state of denial, like he was waiting for Alba to walk though the door at any given moment, carrying a net of fish. Over time though, Dillon came to realize that he had never been in denial, that he had accepted all along that Alba wasn't coming back. That had become very clear when he had been here last, visiting her grave several months ago.

Flashback:

Dillon wiped his eyes for the umpteenth time. He usually didn't cry like this, but for whatever reason, today, visiting Alba had been more painful than it ever had been. Maybe because it was getting to be so close to the date she had been reaped, the day that had caused this. Dillon didn't really know. He'd just stood here crying quietly to himself, trying to remember what it had been like when Alba was alive.

He had been so caught up in his own thoughts that he hadn't realized that Troy had come up behind him. Not until he spoke. His words weren't directly necessarily to Dillon himself, but still, his words resounded with him, "She wouldn't want to have caused us so much grief. His uncle was right. Alba wouldn't want to cause so much prolonged pain. Mourning of course, was acceptable but when should that end? It had only taken one look at his uncle's face to know the answer. Acceptance was the fist step to healing.

End Flashback.

"Acceptance is the first step to healing," he whispered quietly to himself, as though confirming it before he turned to Naida, "acceptance is the first step to healing." He repeated it over several times in his head before looking back to Alba's grave. Her name written neatly in the stone suddenly didn't look so morose. It was almost mocking in a way. Mocking the Capitol. Because she was dead, she was free. They couldn't cause her any more pain. It was high time he started thinking like that. Watching Naida suddenly sprinkle white rose petals on Alba's grave made him realize that maybe she already was.