Along the Abyss [Chaos]

[Meeka]

My loathing for James just strenghtened and I consider turning back and beating him to a bloody pulp. But I guess I have enough heart not to do that. After all, it's his birthday and he's probably too stoned and drunk to realize anything anymore. He's despicable and I hope that he ends up meeting a rather grisly end, but at the moment I am too preoccupied with the girl in front of me.

She looks to be struggling with herself so I crouch down and lean my back against the wall, closing my eyes. I'll let her calm down and get mad later. I'm still angry. I can't believe that she did not tell me one bloody thing about her past and came here with me. If she had told me I wouldn't have gone.

I lift my head wearily when she begins to talk again. Almost at once I purse my lips in order not to shout. That wouldn't be beneficial to the already dangerous situation we are facing. "You really think that I'm that shallow," I whisper instead. "You think that I would leave you just like that?" Now that I look up I feel like taking back my words. She looks so lost and scared. Again, I listen, feeling the list of horrible things I want to do to James grow considerably. But I feel that I owe her a favor and I shut up and let her talk.

But she's fighting it, she's fighting herself. I can see that she's fighting her own emotions. I can't say that I know what that's like. I carry my heart on my sleeve, I never bother to hide what I'm feeling. People can see whether I'm sad, pissed or anxious. But for Flight that appears a new experience. My composure breaks when I see the first tear slip down her cheek. She wipes at it and I straighten up.

"Don't!" I suddenly hiss and there's a sharp, warning edge to my tone. "Stop it. Please stop trying to be strong." I don't need to voice the fact that I don't need and don't want her protecting me. It irritates me that she does that and won't let me do the same. So, I do the only thing that seems adequate, that seems reasonable at the moment and put my arms around her. I embrace her, letting my body language speak for me. "You need to stop protecting me, Tammy. I'm not going anywhere."

[sadniss everdeen]

My breath hitches at her words, and I struggle valiantly to halt the flow of tears. But the moment her arms wrap around me I break and clutch at her shoulders desperately, burying my face in the crook of her neck as I try to minimize the shaking my body is doing. She is warm and smells of strawberries, but I can't really pinpoint it through the bitter, salty liquid that runs down my jaw.

"B-but I don't know h-how to be anything but strong." I manage to choke out in between the sobs that seven years of shutting down has hidden. "They all l-leave in the end. My parents left, Jackal left, y-you left, even if it wasn't by your own will. And I'm j-just so tired, Kaya."

I don't believe in human emotion. It has crippled me in the past, surely. But it's done something to my soul that's made me turn out the way I have. Damaged goods. Deep down I feel I owe her an explanation, so I take a deep breath to try and steady my courage. Simply thinking about it hurts, but I've decided not to keep things anymore.

"James... he liked to tie me up. He'd leave me naked and stretched out on the bed for days, injecting me every few hours s-so that I wouldn't scream. He'd do whatever he wanted with my body, and I let him. Once there were four at the same time, a-and..." My eyes glaze over as I remember the violating pain when it felt like I was being torn in half. For days if he tried anything I would scream like I was being possessed. There were no drugs during that time, and it was so bad, not having anything to deal with the agony.

I shake my head vigorously, still cradled in the crook of her neck. "It killed something in me, I suppose. I can't trust anymore. That's why this is so hard for m-me."

While I'm dying to tell her that I would do anything to keep her from leaving, my dignity prevented the words from slipping forth, and I instead something equally as strong but rare. "I-I'm sorry. For everything."

[Meeka]

I feel tears sting in my own eyes but I blink them back furiously. There's no sense in me breaking down, it's her turn to cry. I cover up what would have been a sob with a cough, though it hitches in my throat, making it rather difficult for me to breathe. Her salty tears run from my neck and down my back where I am sure they will soak the fabric of my dress. But it's no matter. The black garment will need to be washed in any case. There's a filthy stench of alcohol and sweat and smoke issuing from it, but it doesn't matter. Nothing really matters at this moment, or at least everything else has shruken in importance.

Another sob threatens to bubble over and escape my chest as she breaks down. Everyone left her. "I w-won't leave you, not this time. I was twelve, I was just a child, I had no chance. But they can't change me anymore. I've given up my family for you, Tammy. Nothing can make me leave you." My voice, albeit cracking under the pressure of repressed emotions, grows stronger as I speak.

Numbly, I stroke her hair, closing my eyes as if this would do anything against the odd sensation of fury I feel bubbling inside of me. There are vicious thoughts and images plaguing my mind. I'm so grateful that she is telling me all of this. After all, I want her to be truthful. But nothing, nothing can prepare me for the dreadful reality of what she went through. I pictures many things after her dispute with James... but not this. "My God..." I whisper, but my voice fails me as a tear slips down my face and I shudder, fending off the wave of sorrow that strives to overwhelm me. I don't want to lose my composure, I feel that I owe it to Tammy. That I have to stay strong at least once.

Instead I tighten my hold around her, as though afraid that she will slip away. "You know... after you left that night," I start, thinking back to the fateful night my parents banished her from our house, "I kept my windows open every night. I thought that maybe you would return if I did. I sat on the window sill, I really thought that you would come back to get me. After months of waiting I sort of gave up. By closing the window I closed my mind of you. I banished all thoughts of you and gradually," I say, a grim smile on my face. "Gradually, I learned to forget."

I simply nod when I hear her apology. I don't know what she is apologizing for. Everything simply is too broad. But I nod, knowing that she can't see it. "I know. I'm sorry, too."

[sadniss everdeen]

I'm shaking so hard now I can almost feel my teeth rattling as I suck in huge lungfuls of air to try and quell the crying. I feel weak like this but I can't for the life of me stop. Everything hurts. Not a physical hurt, but a psychological one of old wounds being torn open, a rather ugly scar that never healed. Images of that room and the bed flash before my eyes, the horrible nights were I'd cower and try to twist away from his groping hands.

Eventually I stop and swallow thickly, shakily raising to my feet. I give a watery smile and furiously wipe at my eyes, trying desperately to remove the streaks. After a small time the bloodshot quality could be reduced to excessive drinking; and I'm fine with that. It doesn't stop the hitch in my breathing, no matter how hard I try to hide it.

"Thanks," I murmur quietly, extending a hand to her. "I needed that." A short, scuffling noise grabs my attention, and my head whips to the side. Silence, but something isn't right. Like there's something watching us... "Kaya, we need to go. Now."

And all at once, there is crashing and breaking. I whirl on the spot, ignoring the decidedly spinning quality the world takes on. Suddenly there are white forms pouring out into the lucid moonglow, and I scramble backwards as I register Peacekeepers. They're everywhere, shouting and running towards us. From the booze and exhausted crying my brain stalls for a second, and that second is all it takes for them to see that I'm unarmed and apparently dumbfounded. I wheel to run, grabbing Kaya's hand, but the escapes are cut off.

Bending my knees, I let out a vicious growl and ready myself to start fighting, but it's useless. I'm tired, aching and half blinded by the damned streetlights. My dress pants are tight enough for proper fighting, but the top I'm wearing isn't cut right for this on and my swords are safely hidden away. Still, I remain in that position; fingers curled into claws and lips drawn back to expose shining teeth as they come to a shifting halt. "What do you want?" I snarl, hissing at one who tries to inch in closer.

The head studies me nervously for a second, before clearing his throat and slightly looking away from my bare stomach. Well, atleast this one's halfway decent. "Flight DeRicasho?" He asks. His voice is young, still unbroken by some of the things that happen here.

"Who's asking?" There is now a sinking feeling in the bottom of my stomach. They all have stun batons and strange armor, wearing cautious expressions. Obviously been warned before hand. And there are so many! Atleast twelve, standing in a circle around me and Kaya, cutting off the two alleyway exits. Shinning brightness from a flashlight makes a hand come up to shield my eyes, but my muscles remain rigid and in guard.

Again he clears his throat, and pulls out a piece of white parchment. I recognize those seals. A declaration.

Shit.

"You, Flight DeRicasho, have been tried and found guilty of public brawling, assualt, theft, and trespassing in capitol woods. As from this moment onwards, you have been sentenced to jailtime which you will begin to serve immediately." I stare dumbly at him for a second. No murder? Thank the Gods.

I take a look around, weighing my odds, before seeing Kaya next to me. Swallowing, I draw myself up to my full six foot two and stare at the Head Peacekeeper. He nervously returns my gaze, flinching ever-so-slightly when I give a growl and offer my wrists in defeat. I might be willing to try and fight my way out, but those stun batons look nasty; I'm not risking her for myself.

"Fine." I sigh, wearily looking over at her. They are obviously surprised at my lack of struggle, and I briefly lean over and draw her into a fierce kiss, still tasting the slight tang of tears. "Don't worry." I whisper softly into her ear. "I'll be back, I promise." As I let go, I again offer my hands, palms up. It's time.

[Meeka]

"Kaya we have to go. Now."

The intensity of her tone alerts me and I look around automatically. My heart is in my throat as I see white figures. I am confused and can't quite make them out against the bright light of the streetlamp. But then I gasp as recognition causes inexplicable fear to rise in my throat, resulting in a squeak of fear. We're done for. They found tapes... were there tapes? Oh, God! I'm going to be an avox! I'll never see Trig again, my mother, Tammy!

I turn, poised to run as fast as my swift legs can carry me and hurtle headlong into a brick wall. Or at least it feels like a brick wall. The brick wall apparently has hands that push me back violently. I rub my temple, scowling at the brick wall that is really a Peacekeeper. I shiver as the Peacekeepers form an impenetrable wall around us, casing us in their midst. I find Tammy and reach out to clutch her hands in mine.

I'm shaking, my breathing fast and ragged as I picture all of the horrible things that they could do to us. Torture? That would be likely, execution would be almost merciful. I just hope against hope that it will be over fast and not too painful. I feel numb as one of the Peacekeepers reads something out from a scroll of paper. It takes a moment for the information to make sense to me. Wait. I'm not going to die! They did not even mention me! The feeling of immense relief however is short lived as I realize that Flight is Tammy. And she isn't off the hook.

"J-jailtime?" I manage to say, my voice barely audible. One of the Peacekeepers closest to me nods and leers at the expression on my face. Jailtime could be for years! They could take her to the Capitol to serve as an avox! I'm still stunned and barely react even as Tammy leans down to kiss me. I'm unresponsive as I stare into her yellow eyes blankly. It doesn't make sense. She can't be leaving...

Something snaps when she holds out her hands. The Peacekeepers must read from my expression what I'm about to do because one of them exchanges a nervous look with his neighbour. "No! No, no, Tammy!" My shout echoes against the buildings walls and I see some drunken heads raise in the far off distance. "No! Let me go," I hiss fiercly as strong hands pull me back with such force that I'm temporarily lifted off of the ground. All sense leaves me as I struggle against the arms that hold me back. "You can't go! I don't want you to die! N-" I claw at his arms, screaming as though I'm being murdered, as though I've just witnessed my family being murdered. I might as well have. They could technically execute Tammy for what she's done.

A rough hand presses against my face, hoping to muffle my screams. I'm guessing that they don't want the whole street to wake up. My screams don't die and I kick violently at the shins of the man that is holding me back. Eventually those dim and finally die completely, leaving me with nothing else to voice my pain than my crying.

I feel broken, all the fight having left me as I sob and gradually the Peacekeeper releases his hold on me. I hit the ground and a sharp jolt pulls once through my body, but I don't care. I'm still crying on the street even as the Peacekeepers drag Flight away and over to a car. She said that she promises that she'll be back. But she shouldn't be kidding herself, we both know that jailtime is an inconceivable euphemism.