{heart} in {chains} semper

[cass]

[bg=0A0B09][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] When the moon fell in love with the sun All was golden in the sky All was golden when the day met the night When the sun found the moon She was drinking tea in a garden Lyanna had said he was in the hospital. It was the first time -and maybe the last- he had ever meet Lyanna. She was a pretty enough girl, long hair, a sweet face, she looked like him. She looked a lot like him. It was the first time he had ever stepped into Klaus’ Hopper’s house. Granted it had not been for more than a few seconds. The house was big; it was clean and richly decorated, at his first glance he could tell that it was a rich person’s house. He hadn’t seen many rich places, but that house had been grand, it had been the absolute edge of brilliance. There was nothing that showed the signs of poor. There was nothing that showed the signs of a struggling family. But then that was to be expected, after all Hopper was the older brother of a victor. Lyanna had had no clue who he was. She had stared at him suspiciously, her eyes flickering backwards and to the house as though she had been preparing herself to call for help. She had tried to avoid talking to him, her suspicion growing with each question Tiberius had dared to ask. But he hadn’t been able to stop. It had been a whole two weeks since he had last seen Hopper and that was unusual. They normally talked every single day. They normal saw each other at least every day and after a few days without seeing any sign of Hopper he had begun to worry, but he had shoved it away, knowing that Hopper was free to do what he wanted, he didn’t have to talk to Tiberius, in fact Hopper had no need to even look at Tiberius ever again. After a week he went looking, just here and there, because he wouldn’t let it settle, he couldn’t just believe Hopper would walk right out if his life without even a single good bye. That thought made him ache deep within his chest, it made him hurt to even think that that was true. And two weeks later he was at hopper’s house. It had been just over two months since Hopper had actually moved out of his house and back into the Victor’s mansion. It had been two months since Tiberius had spent every morning with Hopper, waking up to see him at breakfast, spending the whole day with him, making sure he got through his depression, making sure he got past drugs. And six months since Hopper had tried to kill himself. Tiberius had changed him, Tiberius had taught him to realise how valuable his own life was. He had stuck to hopper’s side when no one else would; he had kept him standing when he was falling he had lent him a hand to hold onto when there was no one, when everyone in his family had left him and spat on him. Sometimes Tiberius couldn’t even understand. In return he had agreed to give up selling drugs; he had taken a whole new job in a little shop. He had made that promise to Hopper when hopper had promised him he would never delve back into drugs, he had promised he would never try to kiss Klaus again, he had promised that he would never do what he did again. By the end Hopper had become the single most important person in Tiberius’ life. He, without Tiberius even realising it had helped him to overcome his own problems. The small things about his mother and about Shadow. He had forgotten for over four months now that Shadow even existed and he loved it. He loved being able to wake up with a smile lingering on his lips. He had been there for him for six months and slowly, slowly he was sure he had fallen for the boy. It wasn’t something he had planned; it wasn’t something he had wanted in all honesty. When he had first seen Hopper he had been disgusted by the boy, he had been broken, weak and destroyed. But as he became better and as he slipped away from the frail, vulnerable boy that had made him want to end his life Tiberius found a boy that was truly likeable. Fun, artistic and always, always happy. There was a smile on his face that always made Tiberius smile, and there was always something to it, a tiny little cheeky sparkle that just made Tiberius’ own smile broaden. And he did smile and laugh every time they talked. There was always humour under toning everything they said to each other. And in the space of a few short months he had fallen in love with a boy he would never have dreamed of falling for. Hopper was everything he was not. He was weak and vulnerable where Tiberius was not, but it was that weakness that seemed to show more around Tiberius then anyone that made him want to protect him. It made him want to hold him and tell him everything would be okay. He was someone that just needed a helping hand, someone to just guide him and tell him from right and wrong and Tiberius had become that person. The hospital was clean and that sterile smell clung to the air. It smelled as cleaned as it looked. Everything was white and the floors gleamed from the reflection of the white lights. It was bright, and it looked like daylight within the confines of a room. The place looked as though it would never darken, as though night could not even stop the light that poured tirelessly and endlessly onto the stained white floors. Tiberius didn’t think it looked like a happy place. And it only increased the worry that gnawed painfully at his stomach. Each step that he took closer to Hopper made his chest pain; his worry grew and grew as he fretted over what he was going to see. Lyanna had been reluctant to even give that tiny little bit of information away. Yet as she had said those few words at was as though Tiberius knew something insanely bad had happened. Hopper had done something, he had done something bad. He knew it. There was no other reason as to why he would be in the hospital. Tiberius was truly scared. He couldn’t imagine a lifeless Hopper lying on a bed, he couldn’t imagine a dozen tubes slipping from his tanned skin and beeping machines that hooked him too life. And in his heart he hoped he wouldn’t see that. He hoped that it would be nothing; he hoped that hopper would be sitting up and laughing at his own foolishness. And he would comfort Tiberius and tell him nothing was wrong. Oh how wrong he was. He slipped silently into the room, his heart clawing its way up his throat. He didn’t know what to think and he didn’t want to think anything as he rounded the corner. What he saw made his heart stop, what he saw made his legs shake and his head spin. Hopper was alive. He wasn’t dead, he wasn’t dying he was alive. Dozens of tubes protruded from his arms and chest, his skin that had once held the kiss of the sun looked pale and sickly, his eyes were open, but he didn’t even look as if he was seeing anything. They were riddled with pain and Tiberius heart seemed to break into two. It made him physically hurt to see the man he cared so much for like this. And he loved him, he loved Hopper Goravich. But seeing Hopper just lying there was an all too familiar memory. Just like the day they had first met. Hopper falling to the ground, the pain that had been on his face. The need to do, the desperation and the self-loathing. Tiberius had truly believed he had changed Hopper, made him into a man that could hold his head high through it all. Someone who was strong, someone who he could admire. For those few months he had lived with Hopper he had watched a man he could love, but looking at Hopper right now he wasn’t so sure. Yet he loved him. And he couldn’t leave; he couldn’t just back away because he was scared. He had to tell Hopper. Stepping forwards he walked into the room. His legs felt like jelly and he was almost certain that he might fall at any moment. His chest ached and he just wanted to hug Hopper and tell him it would all be alright, like he had done before. But he didn’t. He wanted to tell him he loved him, he wanted to just say those three words and let Hopper know what he felt and he opened his mouth, the words balancing on the tip of his tongue. ”Why?” And suddenly he was angry. ”Why did you do it?” He asked, the words slipping from his lips before anything else could come out. His fists were clenched tightly at his sides, and his eyes flickered dangerously, all sympathy and worry had disappeared from his expression. His eyes burned into Hopper’s and for a moment he didn’t care that Hopper was lying in a hospital bed, he didn’t care that he could be dying, he just didn’t care. Hopper was never supposed to do this to himself. He had promised to never try to kill himself again; he had promised to Tiberius that he would never try to end his life again. Tiberius had believed him. He had believed him with all his heart. He just didn’t understand. ”Did you do it because you could? Were you trying to prove a point? Was it to spite me?" His voice rose with each sentence, the accusations flying from his lips. His mind spun, his hands shook, he was angry. He was furious and hurt, he was hurting so much on the inside and it was making him angry and it was making him want Hopper to hurt and he didn’t care. ”ANSWER ME.” He spits venomously. His eyes blazed and they drilled into Hopper’s, begging for an answer, begging for a reason, because no matter how hard he searched within his own heart he could find none, he could find no reason as to why hopper should be lying on this bed. He shouldn’t be, he should be with Tiberius in their house. This… This wasn’t supposed to happen. It made Tiberius so made and he hurt more than he had hurt for a long time. ”I thought you were better than this Hopper Goravich. I was wrong.”His shoulders sagged, he felt completely and utterly at a loss, he felt defeated. In the middle of summer When the moon found the sun He looked like he was barely hanging on But her eyes saved his life In the middle of summer (summer)

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[semper]

I’d rather live with broken bones
than lay here all on my own
like a lovesick fool

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Your memory fails you nearly every few seconds – slips and fragments of flashbacks rear their ugly heads before falling back into your muddy conscience, leaving you with a persisting sense of dread.

All you can hear is a constant mechanic beeping beside you and it does nothing to drown out your thoughts, much to your dismay. Flickering images of Klaus’s face – terrified and angry – skitter across your mind, and then the terrifying bang that sent what felt like a sledgehammer into your chest. Each pestering beep of the machine reminded you of the shot: bang, bang, bang, lining up with the weak beat of your aching heart.

The doctor’s words also float around your hazy head: ”It’s a miracle it didn’t hit his heart. We don’t have that kind of technology here.”

The pain was – and still is – indescribably unbearable. Even with the dose of morphine your chest feels as though it is on fire and has boulders resting on it, breaking and snapping your seemingly brittle ribs and not letting your lungs expand. Each breath feels like you are drowning in fire and your lead-filled limbs will not move to let you escape to the surface; the surface, though, holds no reward of painless oxygen. Coming to your senses will only reveal the vast amount of guilt and angst you are keeping pent up inside of you and all the rage you know you will have to face: how? When? Why?

You dread facing the wrath of those closest to you. It was hard enough telling Tiberius all your darkest secrets after you had tried to do yourself in the first time – and to tell your family, let alone Klaus and Jamarion, would be next to catastrophic but I won’t blame them for their anger. Their reactions will be justified whereas your inciting actions certainly are not anything to brag about. Not that you would want to brag, though; no one should have the gross desire to boast about screwing a sibling.

You can feel your chest struggling to rise and the sharp pain inside your upper torso each time your lungs expand. Despite how much you want to, you can’t just greedily suck in air – instead you have to take rattling, short breaths and steel yourself against the jabs of pain.

A light creaking alerts you to a presence in the room, but your blurry vision does not allow you to recognize who – or what – it is. There’s quiet and rhythmic scraping of rubber against the hard floor and then it stops; a figure stands next to your bed but, even at this close distance, you still cannot tell who it is. All there is is a shock of dark against the smeary white background. Muddled words reach your ears and you strain to hear them, willing your hearing to make sense of the jumbled syllables.

”… spite…”

“… answer…”

“… wrong.”

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The final word causes a jolt of pain in your chest. Wrong. I was wrong. You had lied to Tiberius when you told him you would never commit an incestuous act and you lied when you told him you were fine, though it technically wasn’t a lie: with Tiberius you feel stable and nearly invincible, but without him you are reduced to nothing more than shambles. Where is he?

Bracing against the pain, you steady your breathing as best you can. Your throat burns and your tongue feels like sandpaper in your mouth while you do your best to form a few simple words. How long has it been since you were fully conscious? A day? More than that? You would guess maybe a day or so, judging by your parched throat, but otherwise you are completely oblivious and the time has just all blurred together.

But this stranger – you want to give them an answer. You know all too well that keeping cryptic secrets to yourself can result in rash reactions such as substance and physical abuse to yourself so you need to vent. You need to not block off the world from your problems because, sometimes, the world can help.

Your ribcage protests as you take in a large amount of air, willing yourself to speak even if your voice is hoarse and pitifully weak.

”I… broke a… promise…”

Your throat aches from the little use and your eyes strain to recognize the dark figure in front of you. The tone in which they spoke those three little words did not seem friendly to you but it never hurts to reach out to people, right?

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[cass]

[bg=0A0B09][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] When the moon fell in love with the sun All was golden in the sky All was golden when the day met the night When the sun found the moon She was drinking tea in a garden He could see it so clearly. He could see it so so so clearly within the harsh white light of the room. It was staring at him right in the face. He could see without even needing to think or understand or ask that Hopper was in pain. He hadn’t seen him in this kind of pain before and it hurt to see it. The last time Tiberius had seen Hopper hurt had been for a different kind of pain, the kind that struck a wound that was mental, not physical and this, this was so different. With that wound he had been able to help, to give Hopper a hand and he had been able to talk to him and help him through it. Because he had been through that pain himself, he had known what Hopper had felt, but this this was completely different. And most of all Tiberius hurt. Seeing Hopper hurt was like being stabbed, but he couldn’t and he wouldn’t go and help him. Not this time. This time Hopper would have to do it himself, there would be no one else there to stand beside him and help him up when he fell. Tiberius was tired of doing that. He was so tired of this endless cycle of violence. This was not him. He was a drug dealer, a thief and a murder. And yet Hopper had turned him into a man that had broken down, someone who had come to care and understand others, who could stand by another man and help him when no one else could. He didn’t like it. It was not Tiberius Haze, it was not who he had been all of his life. He had changed that and Tiberius would change all of it back, just as he had clicked that gun and set himself back in time. Just as Hopper had slipped back into his old ways so would Tiberius. He had no need for the life that he had grown accustomed to. Part of him craved that old life style, living on the edge and simply standing in the shabby streets, waiting for his next customer. It had all be so simple. So easy. He had had no care or worry, just himself. He’d been able to spend time roaming the district and going between the mansion and his shabby little apartment. He could torment Valencia and watch Shadow as he delved deeper and deeper into a mystery Tiberius could not decipher. Oh and how he missed bullying that stupid could, he missed picking on him and letting out all his anger and frustration, but then he hadn’t had any. He hadn’t needed to do that for almost half a year. Because he had had Hopper there beside him when he felt down. He’d had the man smile at him when he felt lost or when his thoughts travelled back to those painful memories of Shadow. Tiberius shook his head, banishing those thoughts from his mind. No, he would not let that stop him from walking out of here and leaving. Hopper deserved that much he knew he did. He had lied and hurt Tiberius. He had shot himself and tried to kill himself after all those months, after all those days of Tiberius telling him. Teaching him and trying to get him to understand that that would never work. He could still so clearly see all those letters. The times they had sent each other letters in the mail to just talk. He could remember as clear as daylight telling Hopper his secrets, telling Hopper so much and Hopper in turn telling him things he never thought he would hear. Huh. How that had turned out. All of it had been a stupid lie. Something that had led to false hope. God knows Tiberius was tired of wishing on a star that would die before his words reached it. It hurts. His chest heart and he knew it was his heart, because in some way he did love Hopper, he was a brother and something more than that. Something Tiberius had not yet come to terms with. He had felt it form the last month, a need to be around him and wanting to see that bright smile and perfect green eyes. He had loved talking to Hopper so much, hearing him joke and trying to change the subject swiftly and quickly by throwing himself into funny situations. Tiberius had liked the way Hopper had laughed; he had liked how they had looked at each other, and how Hopper had cooked, because Tiberius had never eaten like that. Now all he felt was burning anger and annoyance and sadness at what was happening to something he had loved. He bit his lips, eyes burning as he waited for Hopper to talk to say something, anything, to apologies and say he was sorry. Tiberius didn’t even know what he was going to do, all he knew as that he had to leave and whatever – if there was anything - between them was long gone and no amount of sugar coated words and apologies would ever fix that. ”I… broke a… promise…” His mouth drops open. And he stares numbly at the weakened figure before him. Tiberius could feel Hopper’s pain with each word that he spoke, with the stuttering speech and the emphasised gasping and breathing. He wanted to grab him and hold him and tell him to stop to rub his head and be there for him. To make it all okay. But he stayed where he stood, feet firmly planted on the ground. ”That’s all you can say. After everything all you can say is you broke a promise. And you, you did more then break some stupid little promise.” It comes out softly, cold anger melting into each word. It wasn’t the kind of anger that made you scream and shout, but it was softer more deadly. It was the kind that scared people and let people know that they were past heart ache and upset. No, the kind of anger in Tiberius’ voice was painful and filled with hurt. It simmered and burned with every word he spoke. “I’ve broken a lot of fucking promises in my life, I know that, but I can say a little more than a few words. I don’t give a fuck that you have been shot Hopper-“ That was a lie, oh he cared a lot, so much that those words were painful to even say- “Because it is your fault. You’re lying here on that bed because you made that decision. No one else made it for you. So maybe you should say a little more than that. Because I’m leaving Hopper and when I walk out of that door I am never coming back.” He finished hollowly, each work like a knife to his heart. In the middle of summer When the moon found the sun He looked like he was barely hanging on But her eyes saved his life In the middle of summer (summer)

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[semper]

I’d rather live with broken bones
than lay here all on my own
like a lovesick fool

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The one time you accidentally dozed off at work, leaning against a piece of machinery, was a result of trying to rake in too many hours. You knew very well the dangers of a steel factory and that was a reason why you always kept your hair short, refusing to let it grow out very long. But that evening shift took a toll on you physically: you were drained and exhausted to the point where you told yourself you would close your eyes for just a few minutes while you waited for a coworker, but of course you fell asleep against the warm metal. Eventually your legs gave out and you fell, arm striking against a tool that lifted a white-hot piece of metal off the conveyer belt and it landed on your neck.

It was only the initial shock that caused you to cry out, not the pain itself. The doctor on the site said that the only reason you felt hardly any pain was because the nerves were damaged almost instantly upon contact with the metal, otherwise you would’ve been writhing.

Lying in the hospital bed, you want to writhe – to twist and maneuver in the dim hope that you can somehow escape the throbbing, unbearable ache in your chest. Your body remains stiff and motionless, however; the dose of pain killers is slowly wearing off and this time there are no damaged nerves to block the pain signals from reaching your brain. Everything hurts.

Those muddled words continue to come after your pitiful attempt to speak. It’s a low baritone voice with sharp and articulate words jabbing like an angry wasp’s stinger. I know that voice. You’re not being struck or in any way attacked so that quickly rules out the possibility of Jamarion; the voice sounds far too young to be your father and when the stranger entered you did not hear a three beat cadence that signified two dragging feet and a cane; the hair on the blurry figure is far too dark to be that of Klaus. Who else would have a reason to be this angry at me?

It doesn’t take but a few mere seconds for the overwhelming sense of guilt to drown out part of discomfort in your chest. You force your eyes to blink – even if slowly and deliberately – trying to clear away the haze in your vision. It’s a rather futile attempt but it allows you to see Tiberius just a little more clearly: his posture is stiff and rigid, his brows are pulled together and his eyes, a menacing spark behind those hazel irises, are narrowed directly at you.

You don’t have to ask him to know he’s wholeheartedly disappointed in you. After all the time you spent living under his care, thriving on the support he gave you despite the social consequences that could arise if anyone found out – and you threw it all away with a single bullet. Relapsing to your old and damned ways was not something you had originally considered doing but the cowardly part of you saw it as the only option. It was a yellowbellied move to opt out by suicide, that you’re sure of.

Tiberius’ words strike at your very core but it’s the last line that terrifies you: I am never coming back.

You struggle more desperately to see the taller man, forcing your eyes to blink just a few times more. The pace of your breathing quickens and your mind races. I can’t lose him, not after all that. You work your jaw, trying to form words and at the same time gather enough air in your tattered lungs to speak.

”I’m-.. s’sorry, Tye.” Despite the labored attempts at breathing you force the apology out but I know just ‘sorry’ won’t cover it. You still try, though, pausing every few words to recuperate and catch your breath. ”I can’t even begin t-to say how sorry I am.” You turn your unfocused gaze up at him, terror growing in your belly at how he would react. All you want is to reach out and hold onto him, prevent him from leaving, but you shrink away from his obvious and blazing anger, foolishly trying to avoid a scalding burn that you know is inevitable. ”I was stupid and I still am. Just a fool who is too blinded by his own idiocy to realize-“ realize what? That he was genuinely trying to help me? That I was making a loathsome mistake? ”-.. anything, really.”

Your chest hurts with all the work it has to do with supporting your voice; your mind frantically searches for any pathetic apology you could possibly use to ease his temper but still you know it’s useless. You let Tiberius down, and as you look up pleadingly at him you feel that there is no way out. Everything only seems to be going downhill rather quickly.

”Please don’t leave me.”

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[cass]

[bg=0A0B09][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] When the moon fell in love with the sun All was golden in the sky All was golden when the day met the night When the sun found the moon She was drinking tea in a garden The day that he walked out on Shadow wasn’t anything exceptional. The two had argued, venomous words, spiting from each other’s lips. But then it had not been Tiberius’ fault they had argued. It had simply been a time bomb waiting and waiting, knowing that it was only a small amount of time before it became something so bad that neither of them would escape damage from it. Tension had grown like wild fire between them, a blood thirsty monster that only wanted to just destroy them. Neither of them knew why it was happening, both of them had a hint of an idea as to why they wanted to slit each other’s throat. But never would voice it. Soon it became nothing more than stiff air between them, but each time Shadow would hang out with that little boy, Cloud, Tiberius would find himself getting angrier and angrier. He knew how he felt towards Shadow and whenever Shadow went off with the other boy it was like he was twisting those feelings and manipulating them as Shadow had always done. But never could he take that rage out on Shadow so instead he bashed and teased and hurt the other boy, letting those restless feelings escape him as he tried to think of a way to spill it all, to tell him everything. But still knowing, always knowing that if Shadow did not feel the same way Shadow would either leave and never look back or he would hurt him or both. There were cruel hard rules in this world that you had to follow. And if you don’t you’ll more than likely end up dead. Yet the whole time they argued neither one even breathed a word of their feelings. It ended with Tiberius walking out, once again promising to never come back. He held that promise, his hurt caused by Shadow fuelling him on. So Tiberius knew that if he walked out he would not look back. He had done this before and although it haunted him every day of his life and it was one of the biggest mistakes he had ever made he had stuck with it. But then shadow had never tried calling him up or talking to him either. It was a stalemate between the two of them, but neither of them would bring the other out of it by breaking it. So they kept up that wall, they built it and made it stronger and stronger with each passing day. It never stopped the pain it caused; it never stopped Tiberius from thinking over those bitter sweet memories. They became his constant pain and in a strange way they made him keep working. They forced him to move and get up to simply prove to Shadow that he didn’t need him. That all those years they worked together and protected each other had been for nothing. Tiberius had never needed him, he was always strong and capable, and he could look after himself. ”I’m-.. s’sorry, Tye.” His name seemed to pierce that fragile bit of air between him. It held, it did not shatter and for that Tiberius was thankful. He knew that if that wall was to shatter he would be lost; he would not leave, because he loved Hopper. How many nights of lying awake had it taken him to realise that? How many times had he had to stare into Hopper’s bright eyes, see him smile and hear him talk before he could see that those words always made his heart rate quicken. That those words always made him smile and nothing and no one else had ever allowed him to relax the way Hopper did. He had seen people die; he had killed people and watched people get murdered, never once had he met someone who had made him feels for them. Something happened the day they met, when Hopper fell to the floor, the drugs coursing through his veins, which made Tiberius help him. And that, that was the single most foolish mistake he had ever made. Or did his heart move in his chest just because Hopper lay before him bleeding from a wound to his heart after breaking Tiberius before he could even realises that the insistent pain in his chest was more than just wanting to care for a friend. That he wanted to hug and hold him and tell him those three words that were like a heavy weight to his heart. But instead he felt bare and hollow as those words faded into nothing more than a memory. Hopper had chosen what he wanted, he had and Tiberius did not care anymore. ”I can’t even begin t-to say how sorry I am.” ”I was stupid and I still am. Just a fool who is too blinded by his own idiocy to realize… anything, really.” Some part of him believed he was going to regret this, some part of him knew that if he were to walk out and leave he would regret it, it would be something that would eat away at him forever, knowing that something could have happened, but never would. It would be cliché to say so, but it would be Tiberius’ biggest what if. Tiberius flinched at the obvious pain in Hopper’s voice. He took a wobbly step backwards, not trusting himself. He didn’t want to hear that, he didn’t want to hear the words ‘I’m sorry’ and what was more he could not hear Hopper blaming it on himself turning this whole situation into his problem once more, saying it was his idiocy, his fault, he did it all because he was stupid and irresponsible. Because he couldn’t stop himself. It was not good enough. But Tiberius was too tired. He was exhausted and his heart was aching. He had told Hopper all of this once before, he had yelled at Hopper that day he had saved him from dying, he had took Hopper in and tried to teach him to not think that way and feel that way. Had Hopper even swallowed a word? Or had it all been just one stupid fucking lie? He was feeling to hollow to feel angry, but he knew once he left he would. ”Please don’t leave me.” ”Don’t leave you.” He mouthed. The words numb and nothing more than just paper thin. He let out a small bitter laugh. “You have the same excuse as last time, that your stupid idiocy got in the way, well here is a reality check for you, it didn’t. You got in the way. I don’t know how many more times I’m going to have to tell you that – wait no. I’m never going to tell you that again. Because I am leaving Hopper. I’m going away and I’m never going to see you again. Whatever this was – if there was anything here it is over, for good. Go wallow in your own self-pity, because this time I won’t be there to drag you out of it.” Turning abruptly he walked straight to the door. He had to go, and he had to go fast. Each step sent a stab of pain through him, like he was making some big mistake. Bigger than that day he had walked out on Shadow, and perhaps he was, but he was tired of caring for someone who could not even care for themselves, who had to be baby sat and watched. Because all he could do was throw his life away over a silly mistake. Turning at the door, he cast one more look at the battered boy he had come to love. It was a painful sight to see, Hopper lying there motionless, ragged breathing and the constant beep of the machine keeping him alive. But he had made his decision, he had chosen. ”And I thought I loved you, Hopper.” With those words he let that raw pain show, before he pulled himself away and walked down the bright white halls, leaving Hopper behind. In the middle of summer When the moon found the sun He looked like he was barely hanging on But her eyes saved his life In the middle of summer (summer)

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