Food For Thought [Smith Family]

[gliss]

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[bg=373A45] Summer Smith And you dont know, what I'm going through and, You might think, it's all about you, But its everything, I've been holding back, It's just bad timing To come at me like that I sometimes wonder why people say not to look down when you're somewhere up high. I mean, looking down is the thrill of climbing a tree . There's really no point if you're too cowardly to acknowledge your success. I am not too cowardly. I look down at the ground. I'm not up very high- since it's almost dinner time, I decided not to cross the district fence. All of the good trees are past the district fence. The Peacekeepers just don't want us to have any fun. Of course, I still have fun. I better enjoy it now. Soon it'll be dinner, and them bedtime, and maybe I'll sneak out and maybe I won't. Then again, my moods tend to last. I put my foot onto a branch, then push the rest of me up with it. I've done this a bajillion times, but it never gets old. The first time I climbed this tree, I was 6. I can imagine a tiny version of me, extending tiny legs and tiny arms, desperately trying to show off. Father yelled at me to get down. Charlie wouldn't yell at me for that, I don't think. Charlie. I need to get to dinner. I take note of both the easy way and the safe way to get down this tree. Anyone who knows me could guess my next move. I jump. I love the sensation of freefall. The wind carries my hair up, and gravity carries me down. Honestly, if I had the chance, I would punch gravity in the face. Flying would be awesome. I'm beginning to believe I'm actually flying when I hit the ground. All the wind is knocked out of my system. As soon as I catch my breath, I run toward the house. It's way too small for a family the size of ours. As I open the door and walk in, I take note of the fact that nothing has changed. I shouldn't be surprised. Same old walls, scarred with the memories of the antics of our (well, mostly my, I am the troublemaker) childhoods. Same old floors and ceilings, constant reminders of the nuisance called gravity. I walk in the way I always do, with a bit of skip in my step, unless I'm sad, in which case I kinda just mope around. If I'm angry, I stomp, and if I'm hyper I run and scream and jump. I guess I don't always walk like I am now. I pop my head into the room where we always eat (which hasn't changed either) and smile. The rest of my body follows my head into the eating room and I walk inside. A few of the others are already inside. "Hiya!" I say. Then I realize something. There isn't much food. This isn't good. This isn't good. This isn't good. I shouldn't jump to conclusions. We could have enough. Looks can be deceiving. But despite my best efforts, I am drowned in waves of panic. This is what I hate about emotions. I feel so amazing one moment, and the next everything comes crashing down. This wouldn't be a big deal without my extreme thrill-ride emotions. But I do have extreme thrill-ride emotions, and this is a big deal. There is no way to slow a heartbeat (at least, that I can do now), but I try to breathe steadily. In, out. In, out. The steady cadence won't last long, but its a start, at least. I'm sorry did I, Did I cross the line, I Tried to warn you away, Way ahead of time, I'm so frustrated that I, Feel like I could cry, This could be the time, But I'm not going out like that...

[Cameo {RIP Charlie}]

Charlie Smith
Age Eighteen
District Six
The Rebel

There’s something extremely special about the feeling of being on stage; not as powerful as living on the edge and doing something dangerous, but still just as important to notice. Performing for a crowd of citizens erased their memories of living in the dreadful district, or at least till the end of the show, and it was exactly the same for the performer Charlie as well. It was unexplainable for the young adolescent, the energy exerted through the audience, being allowed to sing and dance her heart out, and it was the only form of acceptance that Charlie ever received. It began a little over a year ago, when she was only a tiny sixteen year old (though she has yet to grow since) on one of her regular drunken nights with some strangers at the local bar.

From that time Charlie started performing for tips, starting by just intruding upon the stage herself and leaving a hat for potential tips, then surprisingly enough requests began to arrive. The music industry, in District Six at least, was not well paying unless a few bucks and loads of pills of booze was enough to support the singer. But this singer had eight younger siblings waiting at home, with no one else to fill their stomachs. Well maybe not fully true on account the second oldest Elias held a steady job, still Charlie was insistent on her supporting the entire family. It held its difficulties with the only finances coming from tips at the bar, and food beyond the fence, but Charlie was not nearly a good enough hunter to feed nine mouths (those hers only really required a few pills).

Today of all days the Pub is on the list for the peacekeepers to invade and destroy. This happened occasionally and though it was never predictable Charlie was able to hear the signs as soon as the front door was open. Right in the middle of one of her most hype songs as well, with everyone appearing a bit crazy to be dancing around so freely and happy. Peacekeepers didn't like this type of excitement from large numbers of people, as if a rebel would honestly start from a few songs, and within seconds the place was shut down. It was chaos with the men and (very few) women in uniform yanking and dragging people out of the bar, and of course Charlie as well. Enforcement and authority was the only two issues of Charlie, neither of which she handled well and of course only landed her with a few various bruises. At least this time Charlie’s resistance didn’t result in a harsher punishment, once being publically whipped on the back after successfully beating-up a peacekeeper during one of these many riots.

This meant one major thing, and it wasn't until being literally kicked out that Charlie came to the realization. Flipping off the peacekeepers, and rubbing the tailbone that the hard metal shoe meet, she had to curse at herself for not even trying to grab her tips. Plus that was a really stylish hat that she lost through all the stomping and shoving. There was absolutely nothing to return home with and though this was not the first time is always wore heavily on Charlie's guilt. With small possibilities of scraps of food still being at home she made her way there with a bit of a lowered head. Of course a cigarette was pulled out on the way, something to ease the pain of everything physical and mental that just occurred.

The worst part would being seeing everyone's faces; the older ones that expected this to happen, the ones in the middle that wanted to try to understand, and of course the younger ones that shouldn't have to understand but simply knew it would be a slim picking for everyone that night. This sort of thing didn't happen often and that was the worst part, before with their Father around a meal was never skipped and low portions didn’t exist, well for all of them with the exception Charlie. They weren't used to it, and it was now her fault that they had to start. Searching high and low in all the cabinets there was absolutely no way that she would be able to pull off a meal for so many people.

Cooking up the last few slices of turkey, two potatoes, and whatever vegetables were left, if there was only two people they could easily go to bed with nearly full bellies. But it wasn't only two people in this family, there’s nine, and even if Charlie skipped a meal as she often did, it wouldn't be enough to prevent growling stomachs tonight. Dividing the little bit into eight individual plates Charlie was quite lucky to never shed a tear because these portions would make a man of a household cry serving this to their family. It wasn't uncommon for families to starve in the Districts, but usually a relatively low district as number six didn't suffer this much.

Individual family members slowly began filling in the house, some returning to their bedrooms, the living room, or some other room, and some of course reached the dinning room. The dinning room was in a separate area apart from the kitchen, almost in entirely other room despite the lack of one wall joining the two. Staying on the barstool, Charlie was too ashamed to even look at the food, let alone the intruders that were going to discover her inability to be the responsible head of the household. Of course the first two to arrive is the second oldest girl (third oldest in general) and the adorable baby of the household clinking to her hand. With one gaze at the table, and up at Charlie it toke no time at all for that Perfectionist to have a sly remark.

"Eat most of it yourself?" She accused with spite in her voice. It was a bit ironic on account Charlie was nearly the smallest in the entire family even being the oldest. Only the three youngest have yet to reach past short Charlie's 5'1 height, and all a lot more filled compared to her scrawny body.

"Don't do this in front of her." Charlie demanded with the little power she had left, the baby that was not even over five and had no business hearing her older sibling's fight. The caring side of the oldest arrived and she bent down to lift the baby off her feet and direct her to the table to eat. At least she might not be starving tonight on account her portion was exactly the same as the rest, which was perfect for her. "I'm sorry there's so little tonight baby." Charlie felt to need to apologize and place a gentle kiss on her little forehead before approaching the older brat.

"I didn't have anything for the sake of all of you." Charlie spat at her completely fed up with her lack of appreciation. "You can disrespect me all you want, but don't do it in front of the youngsters." She repeated to make sure the girl understood not in front of any of the younger kids, especially the baby. Before any chance of any response another walked in and Charlie quickly directed her attention towards whoever it may be.

She may of lost it if it was the next in line to Charlie, Elias, but it wasn't. There was one person in the family that actually completely supported the oldest Charlie, and lucky for her it was Summer that was arriving in. Well maybe not so lucky on account she had not much food to offer the young girl. There's first an adorable perk as she greets everyone, but then of course her eyes find their way to the table with little food and her emotions completely shift. There was a reason Summer found normality and someone to look up to in Charlie, and that was because they were both in the same boat with their Father. Diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder Summer had a bit of a different reason to be denied by their father, hers a bit less harsh with more acceptance and love from everyone. It was still something they had in common, they were both mistakes and it didn't take long for Summer to learn even more things to make her similar to her older sister.

Immediately, as always, Charlie was able to recognize Summer's shallow breathing and even more so when she attempts to control it. This was now becoming even worse because not only was everyone going to bed with only a little bit in their stomachs, but it was also effecting Summer's emotions. Quickly Charlie made her way over to the suffering young girl in desire to help. With Summer's deep brown eyes fixated on the food, it was easy to figure out her problem. "Hey Summer it's okay, it's not nothing right?" Charlie tried to comfort, placing her hands on her younger sister's shoulders and attempts to break her gaze from the table with her own blue eyes.

It was nearly nothing though, and right before Charlie's eyes she pictured Summer's healthy face sinking into an even scrawnier figure then herself. Gazing over at the table the baby wasn't taking the intense emotions too well, and looking back at Summer's concern she knew she had to do something. "Try to shift yourself honey, and I'll take you hunting to find everyone a midnight snack later." She whispered an offer into her ear as she gave a reassuring hug, before returning to the baby to make sure she was decent. Sitting down next to the tiny little girl that was slowly finishing her meal, Charlie still managed to watch Summer to make sure she'd still sit down and eat. She was fully aware that Summer had constantly followed her beyond the fence, and possibly even witnessed her hunting in the flesh, and maybe being invited could help her emotions and possibly even bring in more game. "Finish up and eat so I can get you to bed sweetie." Charlie told after the baby gave a big yawn to indicate bedtime for her was just around the corner.


((OOC: I don't think I've ever created a post this long, hopefully this is the start of a very interesting plot!))

[gliss]

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[bg=373A45] Summer Smith And you dont know, what I'm going through and, You might think, it's all about you, But its everything, I've been holding back, It's just bad timing To come at me like that Have you ever had the feeling of total panic, like you have no control over anything, and you can't do anything about it? I suppose it doesn't really matter whether you've felt this way. You probably haven't, given that you don't have my emotional issues. Other people don't get how I see the world, how I feel things. They assume I can deal with it, that I can successfully conquer the invading army of grief, anger, or panic if I "apply myself." Sometimes, I just want to yell at them, tell them to try stepping into my shoes. Sometimes, I don't just want to do it, I actually do. Self-control has never been my strong-suit. I hear Charlie saying something to my perfection of a sister. I can't exactly make out the words because of the blood pounding in my ear. I hope it's something not very nice. I've never like the Perfection, purely because she turned out right and I didn't. I know it's not good to be jealous and all that, but it's hard not to be. Although... What if this is all my fault? It could be. I'm just another mouth to feed, another waste of money. Elias is helpful, unlike me. He supports the family along with Charlie. What do I do all day? Eat, go to school, sometimes sneak out at night, sometimes sleep. I can never do anything of worth. Now Charlie is addressing me. I snap back into reality. I tend to zone out a lot, a minor form of something fancy I can't remember. Dissociation, maybe? No, I think it's disassociation. Or maybe... That doesn't really matter. She's trying to calm me down. I'm not sure what makes her think that's possible. The only way that can happen is if I do something fun, and, well, okay, her on occasion. She's trying to tell me it's okay. Yeah, right. If me having a panic attack and an empty belly is okay, I'd rather not see what she considered not okay. I'm probably overreacting, but I can't help it, can I? I'd rather not know the answer to my question. I think that kind of question is called a rhetorical question, meaning you aren't supposed to answer it. Now that I think about it, I guess that's pointless. I mean, what's the point of a question if it remains unanswered? Not wanting to answer it is different. Or is it? I hope I didn't look too much like I was zoning out when my mind returns to Charlie. I want to say something sarcastic, but I wouldn't want to come off as rude to her. I'd be fine with anyone else having that image of me, but Charlie is special. "I-I know. I'll, um, be fine," I say, trying to smile, and sound okay. I don't think I did too bad. I'm not an amazing actress though. Come to think of it, I was trembling. Okay, maybe I didn't do so well. My emotions last longer than most people's do, but they don't last for hours. I hope no one says anything to make me panic again. My mood can re-fire, and that just continues the cycle of panic and despair. Charlie whispers something into my ear, telling me that she'll go hunting to get some food for a midnight snack. A feeling of happiness is now battling the anxiety. The happiness wins. It usually does. I'm always up for anything having to do with midnight, especially a snack. I grin my approval at my oldest sister, my eyes wide. Panic is trying to creep back in, I can feel it, but joy fights it off. Negative emotions run rampant in my body, but so do good ones. A blessing and a curse, it seems. I'm sorry did I, Did I cross the line, I Tried to warn you away, Way ahead of time, I'm so frustrated that I, Feel like I could cry, This could be the time, But I'm not going out like that...

[Cameo {RIP Charlie}]

Charlie Smith
Age Eighteen
District Six
The Rebel

Of course the youngest little girl finished up her plate, meaning it certainly wasn't enough, but looking over at Summer she had only consumed a bite or two as she played with the rest continuing to fight with her emotions. It was difficult to handle someones extreme emotions with other little children to care for, but Charlie toke it upon herself to not act like her father and give Summer the attention she deserved and needed. "You have to finish up if you want come out with me tonight." Charlie instructed gazing over at the Perfectionist's blaming look at the sound of this, certainly she had a few guesses on where this late night journey may be going to; a bar, the trade center, beyond the fence.

"Is everyone on a hunger strike now?" Charlie asked with her voice raised a bit until a small whimper of disapproval escaped the baby's lips. "Please eat princess." She instructed with a fake happy tone that held pure sarcasm behind it. Taking the one finished plate away she once again bent down to where Summer was sitting and attempting to eat.

"Meet me behind the abandon asylum?" She suggested in a quiet voice, hoping Summer realized her plan to help her emotions was bringing her along for this hunt for a midnight snack. "Eat everything first." Charlie demanded as she straightened up and reachieved the baby before exiting the room.

"Make sure everyone eats tonight?" She asked the second oldest girl as so scooped up the baby in her arms to bring her to her bedroom. It wasn't directly towards Summer but certainly the Perfectionist understood her concern towards whether she'd finished her meal. At least as much as the three oldest all fought they did have the same goal of caring for the younger ones and putting their differences a side to do so.

The house had yet to be confiscated and though they were now beginning to go to bed with an empty stomach, they had a large house to enjoy it in. The baby's room held her old rocking chair, toddler bed, dresser, and numerous toys. After helping her change into her sleepwear Charlie was ready to leave when an innocent whisper filled the room. "Can you sing me to sleep Charlie?" The baby asked in her sleepy voice that wanted nothing more then a simple song to fall asleep to.

"Of course." Charlie smiled returning to the bed. There was no guitar in the nursery as she only personally owned one that laid in her bedroom, safely where no one could take it. But singing Charlie could even sing a cappella sweetly, brushing the baby's hair as she gently sang Perfect the clean version of a very sweet song. By the time she was on the last chorus there was a sleeping angel in the bed and Charlie quietly left.

The song had delayed her a few minutes, in hope to beat Summer to their meeting destination. Quickly changing her performing clothes into hunting gear; dark comfortable clothing that didn't cling too tight but prevented any noises, boots, and her bag. The easiest part was the lack of long hair, never having to tie it up or even make sure it looks good. Being the hunter of the family was obvious, but still Charlie didn't act as if it was, constantly sneaking her way around, for instants her departure from the house through her bedroom window on the second floor. It was more simple this way, without having to come up with an excuse or explain anything.

Silently running was one of Charlie's greatest strong-suits, not having many to begin with. Within minutes she was at the abandon asylum propping herself up on the side of the building to wait. This asylum was shut down after mistreatment of their patients was discovered, now they hold their poor asylum's out of the public eye all together. It was still the perfect place to wait as no one wanted to go near it as the screams could still be heard, and the building made a perfect block of a part of the fence easy to escape from. Now all there was to do was wait for the arrival of Summer.