''Count to 10,, (Gav)

[k!ah]

Legacy Swann

I'm going away for a while
But I'll be back
Don't try to follow me

[/size]

My eyes close for a moment, and there he is. Just like the day when I first met. Handsome. Free. Alive. Tears spring to my eyes, threatening to spill over. Hastily I dig the palms of my hands into my eyes, stopping the flow of tears. No. I had to stop. He was gone. He was never coming back. This has to stop. I pull my hands away from my face, taking deep breaths. Five seconds, that’s all. Five seconds. I see him sitting in the corner of is safe house, sick unsteady. four. He stands close to me, his arms tightly wrapped around my waist. Three. His eyes flash across my vision, warm and loving, fighting, holding onto life, for my sake. Two His fingers lace in mine, warming my hands, warming me. One. I see him on the ground. Not breathing. Dead.

I break.

Sobs rack my body , and my knees suddenly feel weak. I fall to the ground, my legs tucked under me, my arms hugging my side. I couldn’t do it, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t push his cold stiff body, out of my mind. The way his hand had felt so cold in mine… Legacy, get a grip! I scream firmly to myself. This had to stop, it had been two years, and still every time I was on my own he haunted me, he haunted my waking hours and my sleeping. I had loved him, loved him with all my heart, and it had taken all my strength to walk away from his unbeating heart. But I did, because this is what he would of wanted. He would have wanted me to continue on with my life, not wait for him.

I pull myself to my feet, wiping the last of the tears away from my eyes. My breathing is unsteady, but as I walk down the deserted street I feel it evening up. Wind buffets my face, warping around my body. I smile and lean into it, letting myself be consumed by the embrace. It clings to my body, wrapping my baggy clothing more tightly around my thin body. Finally I continue my walk down the path, pulling out of the winds path. There is no sound as I walk down the street, only the occasionally sound of shuffling feet as someone turns a light on to have a midnight snack, or whatever it is that they are do at this time of the night.

I turn a corner and find myself staring up into the night sky. Stars twinkle here and there. It is peaceful, calm. I feel all my previous distress disappear as I stare up at the stars. I find myself slipping down the wall next to until I am sitting cross legged. My mother used to tell me tales about the stars and the moon, and how that every star represents a person who has lost their life. Maybe he is up there I quietly ask myself. Slowly I close my eyes, my head leaning against the wall, and I remember all the good time, all the times that we laughed and smiled. I small smile creeps onto my lips, and I let the memories take me away.

'Cause I'll return as soon as possible
See, I'm trying to find my place
But it might not be here where I feel safe

[Gav]

~Carther Ratchford ~


It seemed as if the day had slipped right past me. Today was supposed to be a productive day, helping father out with the lab, maybe even visiting the local market to pick up some goods for the family. But the only thing I did today was sit, in silence. I sit on the cold sidewalk as the final hours of day disappear, and all of the citizens of district 6 (that were still awake that is) enter their houses and lay in their beds, waiting for that moment when anything was possible. Their dreams. In their dreams they could be anything they wanted to be, they could do anything they wanted to. But when it's time for the dream to end, no one wants to go back to their dull lives, they morn for a chance to live their dreams, or be anything other than what they were. They enter the cold reality of the world, and there's no way to sleep forever without death. With death you could dream forever, but no one would want to kill themselves or die. Or would they?

These thoughts race through my head, which was already swarming with ideas. Ideas no one would hear. I stand up and yawn at the sight of the moon. And slip back into the allyway, leading to the main streets of District 6. A muffled voice echos through the ally way, coming from the end of one of the main streets. I silently try to make my way towards the sound. I listen closely and again hear noises, but this time, not muffled. This time, it was sobbing. I press up against the ally way wall and listen longer. I hear the sound of feet connecting with the pavement. Who could it be? I slip out onto the street that I heard the noises from and search for the late night citizen. Not that they would take much notice to me. I could just slip through the shadows and go in the back door. But should I? They were sobbing after all. I make my final decision to find the person and set out down the street. I look ahead and see a silhouette of a.. girl I would think, her body outlined by the moonlight. Her head was tilted up to the sky, just as mine had been not to long ago..

[k!ah]

Legacy Swann

All the pain I thought I knew
All the thoughts lead back to you
Back to what was never said

I don’t know how long have been sitting here, lost in my mind, lost in my memories of him. But I know that it has been long enough. A smile is still painted across my lips when I pull myself out of my thoughts, resurfacing in the presence. As soon as I release myself from my mind, I feel a longing in the back of my mind, trying to pull me back in. I almost fall for it, but at the last moments, I pull myself away from the nagging feeling. I open my eyes, it is still dark, the sky still painted with small spots of lights that seem to twinkle on and off at irregular intervals.

Dragging my eyes away from the mysterious night sky, I stare at my hands, tracing, with my eyes, the small creases in each of my fingers. My eyes travel over the palm of my hand, creases lead from one side of my palm to the others, with my pinkie I follow each line, memorising the feel o the creases between my fingers. I am not sure why I do this, all I know is that it distracts me, that I takes my mind away from the past. After observing my hand, my eyes travel up my arms, they are thin, but not twig like. My eyes stop when they get to my elbows, and I close my eyes.

A movement to my right catches my eye. It is only a small movement, maybe I had imagined it… maybe. I turn my head until my eyes catch the cause of the movement, a boy. He looks about my age, give or take a year, his hair is blonde and falls to cover his eyes, Just like his used to… I feel my breath catch. Calm down, calm down. Slowly I release a long breath. After making another quick glance I realise that all that this boy and him had in common. This time when I urn to look at him, my eyes meet his. They lock.

“erm… Hi.” My voice comes out in almost a whisper and I’m sure that the boy must not have heard me. “Ah, hi.” I say louder my voice echoing gentle off the walls that surround us. “Umm, I- what-… ah,” I stutter not sure what to say. What was I going to say? I had never seen this boy before in my life, but I couldn’t just walk away, that would be… rude. And out of everything I am and am not, I was definitely not rude.

“Um, nice night, huh?” I finally say. I scold myself silently. Nice night? Nice night? Is that all I could come up with me? I know I must be blushing, so I turn away, trying to hide my face.

I don’t know what else to say, so instead of looking at the boy, I stare at my hands again, and just like before, I count the creases in my fingers, I trace the lines on my palms. I wait for the boy to breath a word.

Back and forth inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable; come and take me away

[Gav]

~Carther Ratchford~


She still stood there, eyes locked on the sky. I assumed she had already seen me, which I was going for, but now, I wasn't so sure I wanted to be seen. I place my right foot down on the pavement and start to walk away slowly, I feel obliged to check and see if she's still there. I look to the right of me and there she was, looking directly at me. Should I make a break for it? No no no, that would be rude. But it was extremely late, and I should be getting home. I decide to take another look at her rather than staring at the ground awkwardly. My head turns to the right again and she's still standing there, I stare her down to take notice of certain appearances, her posture and anything else I could notice. If I squinted a bit, I could still see the wetness of tears on her cheeks, and the little stains of tears on her clothes. I felt bad for her. Maybe I could stay out a bit longer. Just then, the clouds cleared up enough for the moon to shine down onto the street, just enough so I could actually see her. She looked a bit like my sister and one of the kids from school, maybe she went to the same school as I. She has blonde hair, just as my sister does, and blue eyes like a lot of the kids in District 6. Were blue eyes in District 6 popular? I scold myself for being off topic again and decide to talk to her. It couldn't go that bad. Right?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I walk a little closer to her and then stop, not wanting to be so close that it's creepy, and not to far in order to hear her. I see her lips moving but I can't make out a word she says. She starts to talk again and this time I can hear her clearly, as her voice echos off the walls. "Ah hi." She says. Wasn't much of a conversation starter but I could work with it. She seems to stutter a bit and then turns away for a moment. "Um, nice night huh?" it takes me a minute to come up with a reply. I assume it was a nice night, though you couldn't see much through the thick and welcoming darkness. Though, I only think its welcoming when your sleeping of course. My eyes shift to the sky and I decide that it was an "Alright" night. Then I'm ready to reply. "Yeah, I guess it's an alright night, though you can't see much through the darkness. I guess you could say it's a nice night."
Really Carther?! Did you honestly just do that?
I decide to continue the conversation and the words just flow out of mouth, uncontrollably, "So, I heard, um. Crying. Is everything alright? If I may ask that is"

[k!ah]

Legacy Swann

We all learn to make mistakes
And run from them, from them
With no direction

[/size]

A heavy awkward silence filled the air as I waited for the boy to reply. For the whole time I stared at my hands, slowly counting to three, one, two three, waiting for the boys answer. The silence seemed to last for hours, and after a while I had actually thought that the boy had left. Hesitantly I shifted so I could look at the last place I saw the boy, I glanced at the spot, only to realise that the boy had moved closer to me. From this distance I was able to see him better. My eyes travelled over the boy’s face again, but this time when I meet the boys eyes I froze. His eyes are brown, a soft gentle brown, like the colours of leaves at the beginning of autumn, despite myself I almost smile, his eyes were beautiful, and with some effort I turned my gaze from his.

My eyes travelled down his body, he had a small frame, but he wasn’t lanky, more athletic. After a moment I realise that I was still staring at him, hastily I looked away, my checks turning a rosy pink. Again I turned my eyes back to my hands, which I were ringing nervously around each other.

"Yeah, I guess it's an alright night, though you can't see much through the darkness. I guess you could say it's a nice night." His voice is deep, and after a moment’s pause I turn my gaze to look at him again. I just stared, not sure how to keep the conversation going. Lost for words, I nearly laugh, just like my mother. I close my eyes, letting my mother’s face slip into my thoughts. But it wasn’t her face anymore, she had no eyes, and her mouth it was just a blur, that is when I realised that I was losing her, but not for the first time, but for the second. It scared me that I couldn’t remember simple details, like the colour of her eyes, I couldn’t remember if she smile with teeth or not… I searched my mind frantically hoping, praying, that if I fished around long enough through my mind, that I would miraculously remember.

But I didn’t.

"… um. Crying. Is everything alright? If I may ask that is" The sound of the boys voice brought me back to the presence. Crying? He had heard me crying. automatically my hand moves to my face, gentle my fingers touched the skin under my eyes. My skin was dry.

“Crying…?” Ahhh. The memory of tears falling down my checks come flying back hurtling into my mind. I had been crying over him. At the thought of him, new tears threatened to fall, but I held them back. I didn’t want to cry, not now, and not in front of this boy. I didn’t know who he was, and by crying and appearing weak… that might not be such a crash hot idea. “Ahhh, the crying… It was nothing… I was just… yeah…” I stumble absently over words, trying to think of an excuse. “Um, I’m okay, thanks for asking.” I finally say, bringing my eyes to meet his. I smile hesitantly, then look away.

I had never been good with conversation, and today, today was no different. After another few moments of heavy silence I pull myself to my feet. My legs feel weak but I manage to stay up right. I turn to face the boy once again. “What are you doing out at this time of the night?” I ask. I don’t mean to be nosy, or rude… I was just curious.

We'll run from them, from them
With no conviction

[[OOC: omg I'm so sorry that this post is really really bad D:]]

[Gav]

~Carther Ratchford~

Everything goes silent for a moment, but it seems longer than a moment. This gives me a chance to get a good look at the girl, as I was closer, and didn't have to squint. I met her light blue eyes and then looked away for a moment to make it less awkward. Her blondish hair reached to her back, it was pretty long, but the strands were quite thin. She was about my height, maybe taller by about an inch or two, she seemed really thin though, almost underweight, though thats not uncommon in district 6. I again met her eyes and she met mine, she turned away for a moment just as I had, blushing perhaps. I look down at her hands and they we're ringing around each other. Hopefully I wasn't making her uncomfortable. Her skin tone was a bit pale, but not as much as my mother's skin, which was as pale as you could be. She seemed to dose off for a moment until I mentioned her crying. "Ahhh, the crying… It was nothing… I was just… yeah…” She stops for a moment then says “Um, I’m okay, thanks for asking." I felt a bit bad for her, I could tell it wasn't nothing, but I'll try to change the topic. She meets my eyes once more and smiles sheepishly. She brings herself up to her feet and says “What are you doing out at this time of the night?” that was a good question. How would I reply? Then, it comes to me. " Well, I just.. don't have anywhere to go honestly. Or anywhere that I want to go. I don't feel like hanging around my family all the time. You know what I mean?" damn! I curse myself in my mind, that makes you sound sorry for yourself! Hopefully she doesn't think that!


[OOC: Sorry for the short post! :/]

[k!ah]

Legacy Swann

'Cause I'm just one of those ghosts
Travelin' endlessly
Don't need no roads

[/size]

When I was little mother used to tell me that anything was possible. She used to say, that if you put your mind to it, you could do anything, be anything. I used to laugh and say How could you be anything, Mom? It doesn’t make sense. She used to laugh quietly, then she would pull my blankets to my shoulders, leaning down to place a gentle kiss onto my forehead. A smile would be plastered to my face as she turned away, turning out the lights as she closed the door quietly behind. Then I would close my eyes, and wander… What would it be like, to be anything I had wanted?

As I grew up I began to understand that what she said had been a lie. That no matter how hard or how long I tried, it didn’t change the fact that she died, that he died. It didn’t change the fact that I had no parents, and my brother? I used to think I had a brother, and I guess I do… But no matter how much I want to talk to him, tell him that I miss him… He just ignores me… It wasn’t till recently that he decided that he didn’t want to pay any attention to me. But that doesn’t change the fact that my mother had lied. Straight out to my face she had lied. I fill rage fill up within at the thought of my brother and his selfish ways…

" Well, I just.. don't have anywhere to go honestly. Or anywhere that I want to go. I don't feel like hanging around my family all the time. You know what I mean?" The voice of the boy pulled me out of my rage. I turned to look at him. I stared at him, my heart still racing from my earlier anger. Huh. I think to myself, trying not to let my earlier rage resurface. I would give anything to talk to my family. Anything. Anger surged up through my veins. My gaze turns cold.

“Sorry,” I say my voice edged with frost, “I do not know what you mean. I would give anything, anything to spend time with my family. I haven’t talked to my Mother or Father for years… Don’t even get me started on my brother!” I hadn’t realised that my voice had gotten louder and louder until I was almost screaming. “I would give anything.” This time the words come out as a whisper. I drop my gaze, looking anywhere but at the boy. I could fill the rage that had swept through me slowly make its way out of my system.

“I’m sorry, oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean- I never meant to yell. Sorry I just got so frustrated… and and I snapped… I’m so sorry, I um..” My voice trailed off as the last words fell from my mouth. What had just happened? I had never snapped like that before. I… Slowly I turned my eyes away from the boy. I looked at the ground, eyes seeing nothing, nothing but the cement in front of my eyes. ”Sorry, I never meant to snap…” I finally say, once again bringing my eyes to his. “I’m sorry, maybe I should leave.”

[[OOC: Post is finsished, just need to code it later :D]]

[Gav]

~Carther Ratchford~

Again, there was a silence. And then I knew, that I said something I shouldn't have. I open my mouth to speak, but my words don't come out of it. She looked at me dead in the eyes and said “Sorry," “I do not know what you mean. I would give anything, anything to spend time with my family. I haven’t talked to my Mother or Father for years… Don’t even get me started on my brother!” I was a bit shocked at first. But then again, I deserved to be yelled at. I stare her dead in the eyes right back, not with a dirty look or anything. Just, a friendly stare. I felt bad for her, I knew I shouldn't have said that! I scold myself once more in my mind and break eye contact. “I’m sorry, oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean- I never meant to yell. Sorry I just got so frustrated… and and I snapped… I’m so sorry, I um..” She says. "It's alright, I deserved that. I shouldn't have said it, and I knew it. I. Am the one who should be sorry.." I say. I break eye contact once again, and look around the street.

Had anyone heard all of that? If they did, I'll take the blame for being up after curfew. That's what I'll do to show her I'm sorry. Theres another long silence until she breaks it by saying ”Sorry, I never meant to snap…” I look at her and we make eye contact again. "I'm sorry, maybe I should leave" Now that's something that I didn't want to happen, I'd be alone, again. And would probably never see this girl again. "No, you really shouldn't be. I'm sorry. How about we start over?" "My name is Carther. And your's is?" I then notice that I didn't even give her time to respond, Oops. I then wait for her reply.


[OOC: Sucky, I know.]

[k!ah]

Legacy Swann

As soon as the words left my mouth I grew unsure. It had been a long time since I had actually talked with another person. All my life I have been hesitant around others, not letting myself become to attacted, not wanting to be hurt. All my life I had tried to avoid it… But it was an obstacle in my way, my way to having a life that just, I don’t know, flowed. If I hadn’t of met him, the boy that had stolen my heart, then maybe I might not be so hesitant at letting people get to know me, letting people come close to me, forming a friendship. My thoughts come to an abrupt stop. No. I could not blame him, it was not his fault that he had died, and it was not his fault that I had fallen in love with him.

So instead of walking away, I stay, waiting for the boy to reply. I was not sure what I expected; did I expect him to tell me to leave? To tell me that I should go, that I had been a bitch and that it was no wander that my family abandoned me? Would he tell me that no, that I was right, that I had my rights to freak out and get angry at him? But was it my right? No, it was not my right to get angry, to lose my temper. For so long I have learnt to control it, I have learnt to keep it under my guidance… Today, all of that seemed to have just been thrown out of the window. I had lost all my self-control…

Sighing I turned my gaze back to the boy; he looked confused to say the most, not hurt, but confused. His eyes seemed to be somewhere else as his mind raced through what I had just said. Suddenly I felt the need to apologise again, to make sure that the boy knew I wasn’t trying to be rude, but the words dissolved in my mouth, the boy speaking before I had a chance to explode into apologies.

"No, you really shouldn't be. I'm sorry." At first I don’t know what to say, he was apologising to me? For what I had done? I was confused, but again before I could say another word the boy interrupts me, changing the topic, "How about we start over?" he says. The confusion of his face seems to clear as the words tumble out of his mouth, "My name is Carther. And your's is?" His name didn’t sound farmiliar at all, which was no surprise as I often missed school and other social events around the District due to my… state… I said his name to myself, silently committing it to my memory.

“Legacy, my names legacy.” I say. “I haven’t seen you around before…” I say letting my voice trial off as I strained my memory, trying to think if Carther popped up into my memory at all. Nothing. he was like a lost soul to me. “Well it is, um, nice to meet you,” I say rather awkwardly trying to shove our earlier disagreement into the back of my mind.

[Gav]

~Carther Ratchford~

As soon as I said my name, she seemed a bit puzzled. I knew I wasn't that much of a social or, popular person in the district, but surely my last name would ring a bell. My dad owned one of the labs in the upper part of the district, he didn't come out of the lab much. Not even to eat, he'd just have someone bring something down to him so that he didn't screw up his research. I saw the girl quietly say something to herself, something I couldn't make out, but what did it matter anyways. She took her eyes off of the ground and looked directly at me. Maybe she hadn't heard me when I asked for her name. The words didn't fully make it out of my mouth before she had replied "Legacy, my names legacy." "Legacy" I say to myself quietly, where had I heard that name before? It was quite familiar to my ears but then again, there could be 5 Legacy's in District 5. Who knows? "I haven't seen you around before" she says. This made a lot of sense because I don't get outside much other than going to school, which I have to do. Or when I need to go get food from the market, I'm usually inside with my family or helping my dad in the lab. Like last week I didn't go to school because dad needed extra hands in the lab. So instead of hiring someone to help him, or asking my brother to do it. He asked me, which I wasn't that excited about. The lab was basically a gigantic oven with dozens of machines in it. Dad got used to the heat, but his workers and I sure as hell have not! Right now, I felt like I was sweating. I might have been, but I wasn't sure cause it could just be slightly raining. I held my hand out in front of me but no rain drops hit my hand or face. I must have been sweating then. "Yeah, that would make sense. I don't get around much unless I absolutely HAVE to. I'm usually helping my father in his lab or with the rest of my family."

I looked at my feet for a moment and then looked up awkwardly. "Well, it is um, nice to meet you" She says to me. "It's nice to meet you too Legacy, this isn't what I was expecting tonight, but it's better than walking home in the dark." I reply. I rack my brain for something to say. Should I walk her home? I say in my mind. Or should I stay and talk more? I racked my brain quickly for the right thing to say and then realized I might as well walk her home as it was getting late. We could talk on the way and maybe when we get there. "Well Legacy, it is getting late so, do you want to walk home? I'll walk you to your house and then I guess we'll part ways. But then again, we could also stay and talk. I'm just worried about the peacekeeper's finding us out here after curfew. But it's your choice." I say, waiting for her reply. Should I have even said that? I say in my mind. Hope this turns out alright.