Time to go {Home}//Emsrock(Blitz)

[k!ah]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; padding-left:10px; padding-right:10px; background-color: 1C121F; border: BAB079 solid 4px; width: 500px; height: 181px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px;][atrb=width,300] ::Distrcit 6::Male::18::

The sun was high in the sun, it heat pounding down on the people of District 6. Wiping a hand across my brow I continue my walk down the empty streets, my heart pounding in my chest. I had just gone for a run to try and clear my mind, to try and let my body be in peace. I had thought that if I pushed my body, pushed it to a point where I was so exhausted that my mind would give me peace, I had thought that I would be able to relax, that my mind not making me repeat the night mares that haunt me over and over.

Rounding a corner I enter the steady flow of the crowd, my body drifting through the people like a log floating down a stream, being bumped and nudged in the right direction. I followed the crowd for a little bit before pulling away from the steady street, entering a deserted street that was hidden behind some of the taller buildings in the district. As soon as I stepped in behind the shelter of the building the sounds of the busy streets were dampened. I knew the back streets well, having liking it better to stick to them, rather than in the eyes of the district.

My eyes scanned the walls, moss climbed up them, giving the alley way a more spooky look, a more abandoned feel. The sound of my feet echo around me as I wander down the path, rubbish scattered here and there on either side. The smell was unpleasant, the smell of rotting and decomposing rubbish fluttering into my nostrils. Disgusted I bring my arm to my face, shoving my nose into the crook of my elbow. District six was reasonably clean, but sometimes you came along places, like this one, where you sometimes forget that you are living in District 6.

Quickening my pace I reach the end of the pathway quickly, wanting to escape the wretched smell. I round a corner, entering a new street, a street that would lead me to my home. The place where I truly could relax, where I truly could let my body, let my mind seek peace. My home was my fort. My home was my trench, was the place where I was safe, safe from myself, safe from my nightmares.

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[Knuckles]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 0D1425; border: 7D9999 solid 4px; width: 500px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 20px 20px 0px 0px;][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] Kryptonite Zei

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 0D1425; border: 7D9999 solid 4px; width: 500px; height: 181px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 0px 0px 20px 20px;][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] I stare at the empty bed in my room that will always remain empty. The bed is neatly made. The sheets are all tucked in nice and neat, the blanket is folded down on the top. I feel like it's all perfect. It hasn't been touched in a few years. If I close my eyes, I can actually see Kelton laying there laughing like we did in the old days. I miss him so much, but no words can bring him back. I know nothing can bring him back, but it doesn't stop the pain. I tiptoe out of my room trying to avoid the creaking boards. I sneak down the hall just to find my dad passed out on the couch. He reeks of alcohol. My heart drops. It's my fault he's this way. I ripped his wife and one of his sons away from him. It's my fault I find him like this every morning. It's my fault it'll probably be this way for a while. I wish I wasn't so stupid. I wish I would have listened. I wish I wouldn't have ignored everything my mother said to me, but it's too late for that now. I slowly walk out of the door onto the front porch and stare at the sky for a while before I decide to take a walk. Maybe I'll go visit my mom and my brother, I don't know. I've made a morning routine of it, and I might do that later. I walk through the crowded streets of District Six. I'm being knocked all over the place like a marionette doll. The puppet master controls the strings which control the doll. I'm the puppet on the strings and the crowd is my master. I move the way the want me to move, and it's almost impossible to control myself against it. I slowly walk away from the crowd turning onto the path I take to visit my mother and my brother. I know this path like the back of my hand. I could walk it blindfolded. I would just have to be careful for the small obstacles that could end up in my way. I look around the buildings. They look slightly abandon. I turn another corner and spot someone. This is new. "Hey." My voice is hoarse and scratchy, but that's nothing new either. Narration 79A279 Thoughts 79849C Hearing AACCDD Speech 2B5B5B Other CCBBAA

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[k!ah]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; padding-left:10px; padding-right:10px; background-color: 1C121F; border: BAB079 solid 4px; width: 500px; height: 181px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px;][atrb=width,300] ::Distrcit 6::Male::18::

“Hey.” A hoarse voice breaks though my thoughts, encouraging me to turn around to face the person who had woken me from my thoughts. He was a boy around my age. White hair crowned his head, something that was not easily forgettable. My eyes searched him, but nothing about him jumped out at me, telling me that I knew him. He was a complete stranger. A person who I have never met before.

“Hi.” I mirror my, my voice is light, but there is something darker hidden deep within it, something that may have warned the boy not too push me around. The sweat that I had worked up after my run was slowly evaporating leaving my skin feeling chill, and cool to touch. “What brings you out to the seediest parts of the District?” I ask, trying to lace my voice with a lighter tone. I didn’t know this guy, there was no need to be rude, I scold myself silently, trying to summon a small smile onto my lips.

I was not sure how the boy would react to my question. Would he be offended? Did he live around this area? Did I just dis the area he calls home? His fort, his trench? Shaking off the uneasy question I turn my gaze back to the boys. There was something in the way he stood that screamed at me, telling me that he was different from others, and that he was fragile, that I had to be gentle with him and the words that I threw at him.

“I’m Mikhail,” I say, my voice laced with warmth. I didn’t know where that warmth came from, but I knew it was there. I could hear it. Ever since my sister had passed I have been reserved with people, communicating with nothing but grunts and nods, or snide and rude comments. But no matter how much my body screamed at me just to growl and walk away, there was something that told me that I couldn’t. There was something that screamed at me to stop, to consider this boy that stood in front of me. “Mikhail Ivashkov.” I thrust my hand out between us, hoping that he will take it, and not leave me hanging.

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[Knuckles]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 0D1425; border: 7D9999 solid 4px; width: 500px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 20px 20px 0px 0px;][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] Kryptonite Zei

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 0D1425; border: 7D9999 solid 4px; width: 500px; height: 181px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 0px 0px 20px 20px;][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] I hate the sound of my voice. I'm lucky to even have a voice. My throat was burnt from the fire. I'm lucky to be alive. I hate that I'm alive without my mother and my brother. I wish they were here more than anything. I slowly let out a soft, quiet sigh. “Hi.” Something jumps inside of me. This guy is actually talking to me. Most people usually ignore me. I'm not sure how I should respond. I just want to make it in time to visit my mother and brother before my father notices I'm gone. “What brings you out to the seediest parts of the District?” What brings me here? I'm just trying to go visit my family. A family I wish was here. "I'm going to see my mother and my brother." I try to hide the hoarse sound of my voice, but it's there. It'll always be there. I hate it, but I can't change it. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and change what I did, but mother always told me I can't live in the past. I need to live in the present. It's really hard though. “I’m Mikhail,” I don't recognize his name. I don't really know many names. I guess it's because I hardly ever leave the house. I don't get out and travel much. I stay at home staring at the empty bed that will never be occupied again. I lock myself in my room away from my drunken father. He's not mean or anything, but I hate seeing him that way. “Mikhail Ivashkov.” He places his hand out for what I assume will be a hand shake. I cautiously take his hand and give a small quick shake. For a moment, I'm silent trying to figure out if I should trust this guy. He's the first person I've ever talked to outside my family for a long time. I can feel my heart racing under my chest as the palms of my hands become very sweaty. I look from the ground to him confused. He said his name, I should just go ahead and tell him mine. "Kryptonite Zei." I reply confidentially. "It's, uh, nice to meet you." It's always best to be polite even if I don't really know the other person. Narration 79A279 Thoughts 79849C Hearing AACCDD Speech 2B5B5B Other CCBBAA

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[k!ah]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; padding-left:10px; padding-right:10px; background-color: 1C121F; border: BAB079 solid 4px; width: 500px; height: 181px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px;][atrb=width,300] ::Distrcit 6::Male::18::

I feel awkward, standing with my arm outstretched before me. I didn’t feel as confident as I did before. I am about to drop my hand when the unknown boy takes a few steps forward, he seems nervous as he takes my hand in his, giving it a quick shake before releasing it. "Kryptonite Zei." He says. His voice has a weird sort of tone to it, like he has had someone meddle with his vocal cords, "It's, uh, nice to meet you." He finishes, his awkward voice polite as he greets me.

I pull a smile to my lips, feeling the urge to make this boy- to make Kryptonite- feel welcomed. I wasn’t sure why I felt this urge to be nice to him, this urge to get to know him, to gain his trust, but I did, and that was something that I could not ignore. I'm going to see my mother and my brother,I remember some of our previous conversation, the words that he had spoken sliding though my mind like water. Family. Something I wish I had. A pair of eyes flash across my vision. They were lifeless eyes, eyes that only contained the signs of death. But they were eyes that were that all to familiar. They were her eyes. They were Elena’s eyes.

No. Not now. She can’t do this to me. Pushing the thoughts of Elena and her lifeless eyes, I try to bring my attention back to the boy in front of me. I look at him more closely trying to understand this urge I have towards him. What was it about him? Was it the way he looks? Or was it something more? Hell I didn’t even know the boy and I already felt an emotional connection too him. “Yeah, it is nice too meet you to! Hey, can I call you Krypt? You know as like a sort a nick-name? It is so much easier to say.” I chuckle to myself as I bring my eyes to Krypts. What the hell was wrong with me? Since when did I chuckle? Was it really possible for one person to change me that easily- A person who I knew nothing about?

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[Knuckles]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 0D1425; border: 7D9999 solid 4px; width: 500px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 20px 20px 0px 0px;][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] Kryptonite Zei

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 0D1425; border: 7D9999 solid 4px; width: 500px; height: 181px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 0px 0px 20px 20px;][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] I'm torn. I want to go visit my mother and my brother, but I want to stay here and talk to this guy. I want to get to know him. Maybe he can help me understand why shit happens. I need someone to be a friend. I need someone to accept me for who I am. A friend that won't run away from me when they realize the truth that replays constantly in my mind. A friend that will just be my friend. A friend is what I need. I need a friend to hang around. I look down at the ground lost for words as my words echo throughout my mind. The sounds are so muffled. I hate it. I hate what happened to me. It's like I've been cursed. I am cursed with the memory that haunts me the most. It's a constant reminder of what happened. I don't know why I've stopped here talking to Mikhail. I should be on my way to the place my mother and my brother were laid to rest. I can't just go on and leave him though. I'll talk to him as long as he still wants to talk to me. “Yeah, it is nice too meet you to! Hey, can I call you Krypt? You know as like a sort a nick-name? It is so much easier to say.” Krypt. The name sounds fun. I guess I can allow it to stay. I don't want him to call me Krypto though. That was what my mother called me, and Krypt is much easier to say. It's not a tongue twister like Kryptonite. I move my gaze from the ground and look at him as his eyes meet mine. A small smile forms on my face. A smile that I haven't had in such a long time. "Yeah, you can call my Krypt." I still cringe at the sound of my voice even though I should be used to it by now, but every time I hear my own voice, I'm reminded of what happened. Sometimes, I can hear the screams of people being burnt to live. I shake my head. I can't think of this now. "So, uh, how are you doing?" I ask trying to keep a conversation going. It's never been my strong point, but I have to try if I want to make a friend. I have to try to convince him not to run away like everyone else. Narration 79A279 Thoughts 79849C Hearing AACCDD Speech 2B5B5B Other CCBBAA

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[k!ah]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; padding-left:10px; padding-right:10px; background-color: 1C121F; border: BAB079 solid 4px; width: 500px; height: 181px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px;][atrb=width,300] ::Distrcit 6::Male::18::

"Yeah, you can call my Krypt." I stop chuckling but the smile still stays planted to my lips. This was one of the first conversations I had had with someone for a week- well the first one where I hadn’t gone straight in to bite someone’s head off with my snarky comments. I liked it. I was having fun. It seemed to stupid, so stupid to think that I was having fun, having a laugh so close to when the reaping. The reaping was going to be in a few days, most decent people wold be with their family, spreading comforting words. Making sure their family knew how much they loved them. Hoping that this week would not be there last here, home, at district 6.

Well you might be doing the same if you had a family. My thoughts slice through my mind, like an invisible knife, cutting me open. My heart aches as I remind myself that I am alone in this world, that my family is gone. Gone forever. There was no way to bring them back. To tell the truth I had no idea where my parent were. One day they were hear, the next they weren’t. But my sister? I knew what happened to her. I knew how she had died. I had watched. Helpless. No. You weren’t helpless. You froze. You watched as the knife slid across her throat. The memory flashes behind my eyes lids and I feel the burn of tear form. That’s when I remembered what the boy was meant to be doing. Visiting his family. Instantly I feel guilty for stopping him. He probably doesn’t want to be rude.

"So, uh, how are you doing?" I turn my eyes back to the boy, willing my tears to stay away. I didn’t need to look weak in front of him, which was the last thing I needed. Casually I bring my hand to my face, rubbing my eyes as though I had something in it. I curses quietly to add to the effect, hoping the boy would not question my movements.

“I, uh, was just heading home. I live around here the seedier parts of, uh, the District.” I say clearing my throat, hoping my emotions were not laced though my words. “I am good. How are you?”

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[Knuckles]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 0D1425; border: 7D9999 solid 4px; width: 500px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 20px 20px 0px 0px;][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] Kryptonite Zei

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 0D1425; border: 7D9999 solid 4px; width: 500px; height: 181px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 0px 0px 20px 20px;][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] I start feeling more comfortable standing around him. I can feel my heart slowing down back to normal. I can feel the tension that was rising inside of me going away. I don't see anything wrong with him. I just need to be careful. I don't want to do anything to offend him. I feel my muscles in my shoulders relaxing as my body calms the rest of the way down. I don't need to be afraid. Something inside me wants to trust him, but I've never been good at trusting people because most don't trust me. It's like they know my secret of how I got my curse. I shiver just a bit as I watch this guy rub his eyes. Must be dust or something.“I, uh, was just heading home. I live around here the seedier parts of, uh, the District.” I would be heading home, but I must visit my mother and my brother first. I can't miss out on the daily routine even if it's later in the day, it'll still be done. I wasn't able to make it one day, but I was sick. I wasn't able to sit up without vomiting. I think I can be forgiven for that day. “I am good. How are you?” I'm not exactly sure he will want to know how I'm doing. I don't think it would be worth it. I scratch my head as the confusion fights on inside me. I want to answer truthfully, but I'm not sure he'd understand. I don't want to place my burden on him. I don't need him to pity me. I want to be strong like I'm always pretending to be. "Uh, I'm okay." I try to keep my voice steady so he doesn't question me. I don't need someone to question me right now. I look down at the ground again unable to maintain eye contact with him. I have many thoughts racing in my mind that I can't control. I wonder if he had any family that was killed in the explosion I caused. I don't think I would be able to live with myself if he did. A small grunting noise leaves my lips before I can stop myself. "Uh, sorry about that." I say quickly after the grunting leaves my mouth. I'm afraid he could take offense to it and leave; then, I would be lost again without someone to trust. Narration 79A279 Thoughts 79849C Hearing AACCDD Speech 2B5B5B Other CCBBAA

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[k!ah]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; padding-left:10px; padding-right:10px; background-color: 1C121F; border: BAB079 solid 4px; width: 500px; height: 181px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px;][atrb=width,300] ::Distrcit 6::Male::18::

"Uh, I'm okay." I barley hear Krpyts words, my emotions threatening to take their toll on me. I felt the way they swarmed around through my body, like a hive of angry bees. They told me I should be crying, I should be on my knees, tears spilling from my eyes. They told me that I should feel guilt, guilt stronger than anything I have ever felt before. They swarmed through me, reminding me about my sister about my family about so many things that set my body on fire, the emotions fuelling the blaze that formed inside me. Turning that one flame into a wild fire, one that burned through me, making me lose control.

It had been months since I had felt this way. It had been months since this strength of emotions had ran through me. It had been so long that at first, the strength of this wave of emotion threatened to push me over, threatened to send me tumbling down to the ground. I began to shake uncontrollably as I heard her ear splitting scream sound in my ears. I began to break as I saw the knife slide across her throat. I began to be torn in two as I watched again and again, my sister falling to the ground, eyes wide, eyes that were filled with death.

That’s when I fell to the ground, my knees hitting the ground making me cry in pain. But that was the least of my worries as I began to shake, as I began to sob, my whole body being taken over by the grief that torn through me, reopening the wound that had just begun to heal. The whole world seemed to slow down as I pressed my head into the palms of my hands, digging my nails into my hair.

It had been months since this had happened. It had been months since I had broken down. I wasn’t sure what could have triggered it, all I knew was that I was lost. I was lost in my wave of emotions. In my grief. In my regret. In my shame. Everything around me seemed to dissolve as I became consumed in myself, as my body lost all senses of the outside world. I no longer knew where I was, Krypt, the boy, was no longer there. I was on my own, I was on my own to face my sister all over again.



{ooc- omg I have no idea what just happened, I'm sorry this post suckssss}

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[Knuckles]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 0D1425; border: 7D9999 solid 4px; width: 500px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 20px 20px 0px 0px;][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] Kryptonite Zei

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 0D1425; border: 7D9999 solid 4px; width: 500px; height: 181px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 0px 0px 20px 20px;][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] I look around hoping nobody else walks by. I don't want anyone else to see me. I don't want to have to start a conversation with anyone else. I'm not good at it. I'm terrible at it. I don't want to face someone that possibly lost someone in the explosion I caused. I hate myself for causing it, but there's nothing I can do about it. I need to stop living in the past, and live in the present, but that is easier said than done. I look back up at Mikhail, and I suddenly freeze. What is he doing? I'm confused unsure what to do. He's jerking around like he's having a seizure or something. I don't know what to do for him. I hope he's okay. I'm afraid to walk up to him, to place my hand on his shoulder, to talk to him. My heart races frantically inside my chest as my mind screams at me to help him, but I just stand and watch. I watch as he falls to his knees. He cries out in pain. I want to scream for him to run, to run away from this. He needs to get away, but I don't know what's causing it. I don't know what he's doing. I stand there with my feet glued to the ground frozen. His crying scares me. I've never wanted to watch people cry. I never wanted to see people crying because I spent too much of my time crying. I didn't have anyone to help me. I have to help him. I have to save him from what could possibly happen. Slowly, I start walking over to him. My breathing picks up causing me to feel like I'm choking. My heart races faster under my chest echoing in my ears. My mind races bringing memories to my mind that I didn't want to remember. I try to fight them away, but it's hard seeing him like this. I walk up beside him unsure of what to say. I don't want to offend him. I just want to help him. "Uh, are you alright?" Narration 79A279 Thoughts 79849C Hearing AACCDD Speech 2B5B5B Other CCBBAA

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