it's only the ocean and you {kiah :: blitz}

[✨ zozo.]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 07080a; border: 7099ab solid 0px; width: 400px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 30px 0px 30px 0px;] Summer used to be my favourite time of the year. I'd spend hours upon hours chasing the sunlight and battling the cool night winds until my frozen body couldn't stand the water for any longer. Shaking and half-dead, I would drag myself out (or sometimes by somebody else) of it's cool clasp and wait forever for the sun to rise again. It was hard to fall asleep, becoming the silly little girl tossing and turning underneath her sheets too excited for what the next day held to be able to keep my eyes shut. And now I battle sleep in the same way, tossing and turning and waiting and spending night after night in a blur. Everything becomes a daze, like you're walking through water and struggling to move, far too tired to stay awake and far too tired to fall asleep again. With insomnia, nothing is pinpointed. Never really asleep, never really awake. You're not battling yourself to fall asleep because you want to wake up again. You're battling yourself not to, because you can think of night more loathsome, more disgustingly sad than waking up the next morning. Maybe that's why I went down to the beach. Everything in my life had switched itself around. Perhaps if I went to the place I used to yearn for, my mind would finally stop pounding and my chest would stop aching and I could finally sleep. I think it might have worked. Because I found myself waking up to gritty sand in my clothes and the smell of the sea and the tide rolling over the shoreline, and somebody looking down at me with, what I'm guessing, the most puzzled of expressions on their face. "Oh," I say, blinking against the sunlight in a daze not from the lack of sleep, but from the sudden, abrupt force of it my body had almost forgotten the feeling of. "Did I... fall asleep here?" and all of this lines will all be erased soon they go out with the tide and come back with the waves it's only the ocean and you

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q u a r t z s to n e w a l l .

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[k!ah]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; padding-left:10px; padding-right:10px; background-color: E3DF8F; border: 322836 solid 4px; width: 500px; height: 181px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px;][atrb=width,300] ::Distrcit 4::Male:: Waves crashed to the shore, throwing all their weight, all their power at the poor sandy shore which took the impact with ease. I watch as surging blue salt water is dragged back out into the ocean, no matter how desperately it tries to cling to the sand, it is sucked away. Then the process is repeated, surging blue masses of water flinging itself as far as it can go, before being dragged away back, only to start again. It was a cycle, a cycle that has been repeated for so many years, and will still be repeated in so many more years. Pulling my gaze away from the ocean I continue my walk across the sand shore. With each step my feet slid further and further in the sand, grains of sand slinking in between my toes, making me feel uncomfortable. But I ignore it. I was used to the feel of sand clinging in-between my toes. The sun had just began to peak over the horizon painting the sky with purple pinks and blues. I let my eyes scan the sky, getting lost in the beauty that had begun to spread out before me. I pause for a moment, pulling my arms up so that they rested behind my head, almost cradling it. After a moment I tear my gaze away from the sky, my eyes falling onto the shore before me. When I look back at the path I was walking down I see a figure in the distance. Curiosity began to eat at me and eventually I began to move towards the figure, my pace faster than it had been before. I had no idea what I had expected to see. But I knew for sure that I hadn’t expected to run into a sleeping girl. She was spread out across the sand. She lay on her side, her knees slightly bent as she slept on. Well this was not something you saw everyday. She was pretty, beautiful actually, sleep making her seem so vulnerable. A small thought tugged at the edges of my mind, and I drop to my knees. Chuckling to myself, I lay beside her, facing her, imitating the way that she lay. "Oh, did I... fall asleep here?" She blinks her eyes, her voice slipping from behind her lips. I smile as I look at her. Dis she find it weird to be waking up next to someone who lay beside her? Someone she didn’t even know? “Yeah you did, after what happened last night… well you got pretty tied and decided we should come down to the beach. I had a great night. I don’t know about you… but I thought it was amazing.” I wink, lowering my voice as though I was telling her a secret. I had no idea why this girl was down here. I had no idea who she was, but that didn’t mean I couldn't have any fun.

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[✨ zozo.]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 07080a; border: 7099ab solid 0px; width: 400px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 30px 0px 30px 0px;] God, I need to stop getting myself into stupid situations. "Yeah you did, after what happened last night…" somebody - and as I open my eyes wider discover the voice belongs to a male. It's not the first time I've awoken to one lying a few inches away from me, but the sun is harsh on my eyes and my brain is rattled awake, causing me to sit up and cock my head in a curious manner. "Well you got pretty tied and decided we should come down to the beach," he recalls, all his words sounding unfamiliar to me. Part of me agrees that it'd be something I did, yet another screams at me and pulls nerves up my throat as the warning signs flash as brightly as the sun does against the ocean. "I had a great night. I don’t know about you… but I thought it was amazing." I've never been called irresponsible. And if I have, the person who said it wasn't important enough for me to bother remembering their petty words. There are a lot of things I don't remember, and I thought that the important ones were supposed to stay with me. Apparently that's not the case. I rack my brains for snapshots of the night before, trying to make sense of the boy's words. Sleep pounds in my head and presses against my skull, blocking out anything I try to retrieve from my head. I haven't been asleep in so long, it seems I'm forgotten what that feels like, too. "Oh God," I groan into my hands, letting my untidy blonde head flop in defeat. My gaze can't even meet his. I don't even want to think about his tell-tale wink at the end of his story. As if grabbing my hair and pushing it back from my face would help my memory at all, I do so with a sigh. "Really?" I query, "Oh God no. I mean, not that I wouldn't, I-" I add quickly - he's good looking, I'd give him that - digging myself into what appears to be the deepest hole I've ever found myself in. Just leave me here. Let the ocean roll over me, fill it up and bury me in the tide. What feels like sunburn stings the backs of my arms, forcing me to sit up and look at him. "You're joking, right? Because I can't remember any of this at all." Perhaps if I fall asleep again tonight, I'll forget all of this, too. Whether that's a good or bad thing, I'm not sure. "Just... well, shit. Are you kidding around or no? That wink looks deceiving to me."

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q u a r t z s to n e w a l l .

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[k!ah]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; padding-left:10px; padding-right:10px; background-color: E3DF8F; border: 322836 solid 4px; width: 500px; height: 181px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 50px 50px 50px 50px;][atrb=width,300] ::Distrcit 4::Male:: The girl’s open wide when she hears my little speech. Disbelief mingled with something else shone in her eyes, and I couldn’t help but smile at her confusion. I turned one side of my lips up, in a half smile as the girl sat up in a hurry, her face showing clearly how she felt. I pull myself up slightly so that my shoulder was taking most of my weight, clasping my hands together lazily. "Oh God," she groans dropping her hands which had begun to pull her hair back. Her hair fell over her face, hiding the emotions that played on her face. But I didn’t mind. I was quite enjoying myself as it was. A small chuckle escapes my lips as I watch her. I watched as she tried to remember what happened last night, what had happened between us. I try to hold back the grin that threatens to spread on my lips, little did she seem to know that absolutely nothing had happened between us. I knew nothing about this girl. I had no idea what she had been doing last night, but it must have been something bizarre if she had found herself asleep on the sandy shores of the beech. "Really?" she asks pulling her hair away from her face once more. I look at her as the next words tumble from behind her lips, "Oh God no.” She says, I feel slightly offended as the words fall from her mouth, my forehead creasing into a frown. was I really that bad? “I mean, not that I wouldn't, I-" she adds quickly and I feel the frown on my forehead disappear to be replaced with a small smile. So she did find me attractive. "You're joking, right? Because I can't remember any of this at all. Just... well, shit. Are you kidding around or no? That wink looks deceiving to me." She asks finally, not meeting my eyes. After a moment I pull myself into a sitting position, slinging my long arms across my legs. I turn to look at her, my face mocking seriousness. “Why would I lie about something like this? Last night… well last night was a night not to forget… well for some of us anyways.” I say my voice even. That’s when I turn to face the girl, cupping her face with my hands, forcing her to look at me. “Do you really not remember? Seriously? Can you not remember last night?”

[/b][/color] I ask my voice low. I grin plays at the edges of my lips, but I hold it back, not wanting to wreck this moment that I had just artfully created.

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[✨ zozo.]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 07080a; border: 7099ab solid 0px; width: 400px; padding: 0 0 0 0px; border-radius: 30px 0px 30px 0px;] There are some days when I wake up and I don't know what day it is. Some I wake up and don't know where I am or what the time is. Other days I don't know or care where I've been or what I've done or wherever the hell I am. (Last time I drifted into the soft slumbers of the sea and woken up in a hospital with my lungs filled with salty water, but we don't need to talk about that now.) Most days I don't need to wake up, because I don't sleep at all. But when I do wake up, often I find myself swimming in an ocean of doubt, not remembering anything. My name, my age, where I'm from. I just float, letting the current take me to wherever I'm meant to go. Then my Dad will ask me how I am, tell me my name, and gently it will all float back through my ears and I'll find myself once again sinking towards the ocean floor. This time, I think an anchor has dragged me down instead. "Why would I lie about something like this?" the boy asks - I can't bring myself to look him in the eye to see whether he's telling the truth or not, but for what it's worth I think he's being serious. There's no shock that runs through me, only regret. Confusion, yes - surprise, no. Maybe I decided to be Queen Q for one more night and just blocked her out of my memory. After this I may just bring her out of hiding for a while, to feel in control of myself again and to retain my memory for a while. The boy continues to search my baffled expressions, too caught up in racking my brain for answers to really hear what he's saying. "Last night… well last night was a night not to forget… well for some of us anyways." Bile in my stomach threatens to resurface, but then I remember that I haven't eaten for days and it slowly disappears. That I can remember, my stomach screeching to be fed like my eyes crave sleep, but neither I can give for my legs lack energy and my body movement. When I was younger, kind arms would rock me gently to sleep with a mermaid's lullabye from deep within the ocean. Now it seems that same song has rocked me to unconsciousness and stolen away my memories. If I had swallowed the sea and consumed the salty sands in my sleep, then I am breaking against a shoreline and tumbling through waves, a lone piece of driftwood floating aimlessly, with no purpose at all and no need for recollection. And I'm just about to speak before he suddenly grabs my face in his hands, a million things at one ricocheting through my body and collecting in my head. "Do you really not remember? Seriously? Can you not remember last night?" he asks me, and his face blurs so suddenly that I'm either drowning, crying, or on the verge of both. "No!" I cry, eyes pricking with panic, too tired to shy away. And it was true - as try as I might, all I could recall were patches of memory, and then nothing at all. House. Walking. Beach. Sand. Blackness. "No, I don't, for Ripred's sake!" Overwhelmed, I feel everything threatening to spill out of my eyes (and possibly my ears and mouth and lungs because even though I'm light as air I still feel like I'm sinking at one thousand miles an hour.)

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q u a r t z s to n e w a l l .

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