Long after you're gone (Dreams)

[Gav]

Carther Ratchford

It was only a few days ago that two of our district's inhabitants were sent off to the games. I can still remember the shock and horror on their faces when they got up on the stage in front of the entire district. From where I was standing you could vaguely hear members of their family or their friends, weeping for their loved one/s. The only thing that everyone else was doing was feeling relieved that they weren't reaped. I for one felt that way at the time, but looking back on it now, I would've felt the same way if one of my family members or friends were reaped. I honestly couldn't blame them for feeling that way.

After the reaping was over and everyone said their final goodbyes to our tributes, everything in the district went back to normal. People went about their everyday lives like nothing tragic had just happened. It's funny how that works nowadays, when anything tragic happens to one family, another family wouldn't even notice or feel in the least bit sorry for them. These thoughts circled around my mind over and over again, they weren't relevant at the moment. Nor would anyone care if I were to tell them. A sharp pain made it's way throughout my left foot and brought me back to reality. Due to my excessive and irrelevant thinking, I had ran my foot straight into the curb of a sidewalk. "Damn" I muttered softly, "I need to pay more attention sometimes".

My foot still hurt as I kept walking towards my house. Then I saw a girl with blond hair and blue eyes pass by me, I almost ran right into her. She looked like a nice girl, "maybe I should talk to her" I think to myself. Before I can even think about what to say, I can hear my voice saying "Hey, my name is Carther. What's yours?" my over confidence swept over me I guess. I wonder if she even noticed I said anything, I sure hope that if she did, she won't think I'm odd and walk away.

(OOC: Sorry for the short post! I'm terrible at starting threads! Really sorry )

WC: 354...

[Dreams]

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when you feel my heat
look into my eyes
it's where my demons hide
it's where my demons hide

The reaping had scared me to death, more than any of my phobias. I feel relieved that I wasn't going to be sent to my death, all of the stress lifted off of my shoulders. But I feel jealous for the girl who carries the burden now. She'll have the privilege of leaving this horrid world. I've tried several times to do it. But after my first few attempts, they became weary about what they out in my hands and made sure I had full meals. Wouldn't want to lose me. But the more I bear the pain, the more it hurts. I would give anything to join my sister. Anything. But anything still isn't enough.

I wish I was still a child. Everything would be so simple, there wouldn't be anything to regret. I wish I hadn't grown up to the girl I am. I wish I could be anyone other than this scarred soul. I wish I could be oblivious to everything. To pain. To a broken heart. To death. I wish I had never grown close t anyone, just to watch them be lost. For me. My chest feels like it will implode if I don't get out of this hospital. I rush out before anyone can stop me, tasting the fresh air on my tongue. Or, as fresh as it gets in District Six, that is. I feel my head start to clear of everything that can be washed away. But I still have the fear and hurt branded in the depths, every once and while coming up to remind me how worthless my life is. Everything I want is gone. I have absolutely nothing to lose. The feeling of being pointless is excruciating. But who ever did care about Evangeline. The only person I can think of is Skye. But the thought of her just makes me want to cry. Oh please, make it all stop.

I walked slowly down the pavement, moving with tiny, rigid footsteps. The sun was fighting to keep us warm, but I feel as the temperatures of autumn starting to invade. A cool breeze ruffles my hair and causes goosebumps to sprout from my skin. Small clouds dot the brilliant blue sky, blemishing it's beauty. I wrap my jacket around me tighter. It was thin and practically useless, much too big and torn. But I where it still because it seems to care more about me than any other human being. The sleeves extend past my fingers and falling at about my knees. But it will have to do. I shuffle along aimlessly. I didn't know where exactly my destination was located. But I had that nagging feeling of needing to be somewhere.

I see a boy out of the corner of my eye. We were heading in perpendicular directions. I slow my pace, pretending not to notice. I don't want to collide with him. It would be awkward and would almost guarantees an exchange of words, even if it were only a short one. But right now, I'm not exactly in the mood for talking. But when am I ever? I start to think about things that no fourteen year old girl should ever think or experience in her life. I barely brush past the boy. But it pulls me back to the surface. I want to keep walking. But his voice stops me.

"Hey, my name is Carther. What's yours?" That was subtle. And shocking.

Excuse me? Did you actually just talk to me? No one task to me. Ever. The talk about me, thought. I always hear them when the whisper.

"Is that that Roe girl you were talking about?", "Her story is so tragic!", "I would never want to be her." Word spreads around here like a wildfire. I am labeled as an outcast and most people know. It just doesn't make sense that he'd ever speak to me. I almost forgot he was there. Moments pass before my dry mouth opens and forms the words.

"I'm..." I start quietly, pausing as if to think of my name. I try to make my voice louder, but to no avail. I don't dare look up just in case he's smart enough to detect pain in one's eyes. "I'm Evangeline." I reply just above a whisper, studying my feet.

don't get too close
it's dark inside
it's where my demons hide
it's where my demons hide

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