FUN ON DAY 2 #Fight
Dec 28, 2013 13:50:59 GMT -5
Post by Spesh on Dec 28, 2013 13:50:59 GMT -5
Agh, I'm dying. But I'm old. F that shit. I hate you all.
"Wait," I croak, "before I go to the dead, I have some things to say about each and every one of you." My voice grows stronger.
"Finnick Odair is a total slut. He slept with Mags one time, and only likes Annie because she is hot." I start cackling. "Oh, and he had surgery. He's not really attractive. It's photoshop."
"Speaking of dear, crazy, Annie Cresta. I slept with her the day of her victor ceremony... And many, many, many times after that."
"Seneca Crane: you, my dear dead friend, are a fucking idiot. Seneca's beard isn't real, it's a stencil!!!" This is so enjoyable, I love trashing people.
"Foxface isn't a fox. She's just an ugly ass zombie. That's what she is. And she's just lucky. She never knew where those mines were, and we decided to not let them be set off."
"Buttercup, you're the ugliest cat I've ever seen. Your owner isn't even attractive. Peeta is nice though."
"Effie, you're absurd. Caesar, I'm sad to see you go. You and I were boys. We go way back."
"Greasy Sae, fuck you. You sell stuff on a black market, I hate you because you are inconsequential. Katniss, your mom sucks. She is an awful person. I slept with her when your dad died. OOOOOOO BURNED!"
"Haymitch, it's a shame that you won the way you did, and it's a shame I had to kill your family. You were such a nice young man. Oh, your potential!!"
"Maysilee, fuck you. I set those birds on you myself. You're just the worst type of person. I'm glad you died long ago. Thresh, my boy, you were so good. You winning the 74th games would have been so ideal. It's a shame Cato killed you. He was a shit guy."
"Mags, yeah. You had a good heart. But you also kicked ORPHAN BABIES ON THE STREET AS YOUR HOBBY!"
"Primrose Everdeen: Yes, we had your name picked on purpose. WE didn't expect your hunting sister to volunteer. That was stupid."
"Oh Cato, I miss you. Why didn't you kill Katniss, you idiot.... Oh, and I slept with Glimmer, that was something else. That was for a billion in sponsorships...."
"Wiress, you are nice, but crazy. Madge, your family is dead, and I slept with your mom. Marvel, you really don't fucking matter. And Beetee, well, thank you. But you're so ugly!"
And now I just have to wait for my hovercraft to pick me up and heal me. This was fun, but I don't think the games are for me.
I yell, "Time to go back home and watch you idiots kill yourselves"
"Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor!"
