Join >m e< by the >f i r e< [Anna Baby<3]

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Morning overwhelms me like a sheet of ice. Icy tendrils reaching under my heavy blankets and squeezing me in it's chilly embrace. I sigh, opening my eyes still heavy with sleep. Sitting up, a breeze rushes through the window I had forgotten to close last night, stealing what little warmth they contained. Damn it I rush over to the window, slamming it shut. How early was it? The sun had barely rose. I didn't even get up this early for school. I groan, straightening up the heavy quilt that lay on my bed. Blake would kill me if I kept this room a mess. After all he was letting me stay here for free. And I heard the whispers at school. Living with a boy? Bound to spread rumors. But trust me. Blake wasn't my type. I kneel on the floor, opening the large dufflebag which contained literally everything I owned. I own almost no winter clothes. A great fault on my part, as I am cold half of the year. I just don't have the money. Blake barely makes enough to keep this house. he can't spare anything else. I wouldn't ask him to. I have enough to eat comfortably and, buy groceries. All the other stuff will come later. I eventually manage to find some old leggings and a torn sweater. At least I won't freeze completely. The house is empty when as I step out of my room. Blake is still sleeping. As expected. He was out partying all night. So, I didn't wan't to help him nurse the hangover he was bound to have this morning. Maybe I'll grab some breakfast at a bakery or something. Build a snow man, hell. I don't know. It's the start of a new day. So let's begin.

Diamond District 4 . Diamond . Eighteen I would rather forget my past there are things there that I want to forget it's not always pretty, and it's not always easy but I think I can make it through this if someone is with me

(OOC: So short T_T it's my first post with her so i've kinda not really got into the swing of things, but she's so cute omg I love her)



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[Anna Banana]

Why was I wandering out here alone, why wasn't I at home with my family like I should be, it's dark and cold and I'm not exactly dressed for winter. I had a problem with doing what I was told, I had a problem with being in a home that barely felt like a home. Maybe that's why I was out here, that was it wasn't it, I wanted to have some sense of family life...or was it freedom? Either way I needed to find someplace to stay the night, I needed to find someplace warm and homely. I pause briefly at the end of a street, my eyes searching carefully for anything that could possibly be a good refuge. I was surprised to find an open window among the homes, on the first floor too, it was perfect, how could I possibly resist going in. It was so inviting how could I possibly turn down such an invitation. With agility I didn't think was possible I jumped up through the open window balanced on the ledge, my eyes adjusting to the new darkness that seemed to be someone's bedroom. Carefully I slipped into the room and took stock of my surroundings, very few decorations adorned the room giving it a rather plane appearance, and it seemed as if the person that lived here was just as poor as she and her family were. Beggers can't be choosers I think to myself as I look around for some place to sleep. My eyes fall upon the bed, and I make my way over to it, hesitating a little as I wonder who it is that occupies the bed. I wasn't prepared for who it was though, it was the vision of an angel, her hair loosely curled around her face in a halo, I almost fell backwards in shock, and I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest. Should I really do it...should I get in bed with this girl that I don't even know? It was like the worst temptation in the world...what should she do? Without a second thought she carefully lifted the covers and crawls into the bed with the angel girl, curling up and resting my head on one of her arms. It was so soft and so warm...I should only be here for a few hours otherwise this angel could wake up and most likely be not happy to see me in bed with her, but that didn't change how soft she was. Slowly I let my eyelids droop and I drift to sleep, tucked safely away in her arms, an artificial sense of safety settling over me. ____________________________ The night was over too quickly, or rather the time I had allotted myself to sleep with this girl was over too quickly, and I crawled out of the bed. I made my way sleepily through the hallway outside the room into what could only be the living room. I slumped down into a chair and brought my knees up to my chest, curling up as small as I could to retain some of that warmth I had felt in that bed with the angel. It was too long before I fell asleep again, I missed that warmth, I missed the feeling of her breath blowing lightly across my forehead. It was wrong of me to want it as bad as I did, but I couldn't help how I felt. Let's just hope she or the other occupants of this home wouldn't be too mad to see me here in the morning.

Hallie Croft District 4 . Hallie Croft . Sixteen I don't want to be alone anymore I want to feel what everyone else feels I want to know what it feels like to be loved I don't want to be alone anymore

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I smile, thinking back to the night prior. I realized, oddly enough, no nightmares had haunted me. The sound of shattering glass, a mangled cry. A slap on the face or a punch in the stomach did not linger upon my body as I jolted upward covered in sweat. I had slept in peace. It was the first in a very long time. I vaguely wonder what had caused suck a drastic change, but had little time to worry about it as my stomach growled in protest. Who was I kidding? I couldn't afford to go to the bakery. A spiteful laugh escapes my lips. I walk down the hallway, my bare feet sticking to the polished wooden floor. I turn just before the living room, into a small kitchen filled with silvery appliances. I open the worn cupboard, searching noisily through the pantry for something that would suffice as a decent breakfast. I wonder what we had. Oh right. Oats. Turning on the stove, I set the milk-soaked oats upon it to boil. That stove radiated so little heat that it would be ready by about the next reaping. Just the word sent a shiver down my spine. The awful dread it leaves me with makes me regret the joke almost instantly. In a career district, I was as far from 'career' as you could get. I did anything I could to rebel against the training that was forced upon me, I wouldn't do the same voluntarily. So far, I'd been lucky enough to avoid having my name pulled. Only one more year, and i was free. The stove emits a low gurgling, as though it were laughing at my feeble attempts to get it working."Work, damn you."I slam my hand against it, the bang ruminating throughout the barren house. I knew Blake wouldn't wake, he slept like the dead. I could be as loud as I wished without even causing him to stir. Not that I would care if I woke him, would be good for the boy to see some sunlight. His nocturnal lifestyle can be disconcerting. I let out a sigh, this will take a while. Might as well sit in the living room, attempt to even read. Though honestly, the way the words twisted and warped before my eyes, I highly doubt that is something I will ever be able to do. I hum a lullaby as I make my way out of the kitchen. My feet tap to the beat as I make the short trip into the living room. Then there is silence. A girl sits in a chair, slender legs pulled up to her chest. A wave of brown hair falling about her face. Something stirs within me, my heart feels as though it has just dropped to the floor. I blink a few times, trying to register why the girl... this perfection sat in a chair in my living room. I feel almost excited for a second before I realize why she's here. Blake. It wasn't the first time Blake had brought a girl home, but how fucking rude was he to leave this girl out in the cold. He didn't even bother to light the fireplace. I try to ignore the sinking disappointment overwhelming me. If the girl had come home with Blake, well... she wouldn't be interested in well... me. I grab a blanket of an adjacent chair, wrapping it around her shoulders. "Rude of him to leave you out here." I whisper gently, unable to help myself as I brush a loose strand of hair out of her face.

Diamond District 4 . Diamond . Eighteen I would rather forget my past there are things there that I want to forget it's not always pretty, and it's not always easy but I think I can make it through this if someone is with me

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[Anna Banana]

I felt confident that I hadn't slept this well in a very long time. The home that I was "borrowing" for the night didn't look like much from the outside but it was a lot warmer than it looked. Of course I may still have been feeling some of the warmth that I had felt when I was sleeping with that glorious angel. She appeared in my dreams too, her image was blurred, but it was definitely her. She had that same beautiful head of blonde hair and her smile was just as beautiful when she was awake as it was when I had seen it just lighting up her face when she was sleeping. I almost didn't want to believe that any of this was true, it all felt like part of a big dream. To add to that dream was the fact that I could hear her voice added to it all, I could hear the soft melody that was her voice. I shiver as I see her image reaching towards me, her arms wrapping around me in a warm embrace before she reaches up and brushes a loose strand of hair from my face. I can't help but let out a small giggle as I look up at her, the perfect vision of beauty bothering to do something so delicate and simple with me of all people. I hear her words whispered in my ear, but they make no sense to me, "Rude of him to leave you out here". I can't understand who the "him" was she was referring to...I had few relations with people, and I definitely didn't have any with boys. This had to be a dream now, I wasn't ever associated with boys, everyone knew that I was into girls, especially after my first two failed attempts. With a jolt I start up, my head moving forward and almost running into the perfect vision of beauty I had slept with not a few hours ago. She had an almost sympathetic look on her face as she looked at me, and I couldn't help the slight shade of pink that rose to my cheeks. So her voice itself wasn't a dream, she probably thought I was brought here as someone's plaything or something else hideous. Granted my excuse would kind of sound just as bad, considering I had snuck in through her open window, slept with her for a few hours, and then moved to her living room for the rest of the night. I bite my lip and look at her shyly, unsure of how to handle myself, or the fact that she had wrapped me up in a blanket. I almost felt terrible for violating her like I did last night by sleeping in her bed with her. I smile as politely as I can and shrug the blanket off my shoulders, not wanting to abuse her hospitality any more than I already had. "I wasn't left here by anyone...I snuck in last night, your window was open and I needed a place to stay because my family and I had an argument. I honestly didn't do anything I swear, I just crawled into this chair and slept, it was nice and warm here." I refrained from mentioning that I had slept with her, hopefully she was unaware of that fact, and hopefully she wouldn't ask too many questions. It was bad enough I had let myself get caught here, I didn't need to explain the details surrounding why I was here and what I had done while I was here.

Hallie Croft District 4 . Hallie Croft . Sixteen I don't want to be alone anymore I want to feel what everyone else feels I want to know what it feels like to be loved I don't want to be alone anymore

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"I wasn't left here by anyone...I snuck in last night, your window was open and I needed a place to stay because my family and I had an argument. I honestly didn't do anything I swear, I just crawled into this chair and slept, it was nice and warm here." She says to me, shrugging off the blanket I had put around her shoulders. Blake hadn't brought her here... Was I angry she had sneaked into my house? No. I understand parental problems. More than fucking anything do I understand parental problems. I feel for the girl, she must have been about the same age as I when I had run away. And she was beautiful. I couldn't help the stirring in my stomach as I looked at her. Her voice was sweet and melodic, like nothing I'd ever heard. Honest and complete perfection. I'd never felt anything like this. Anything this strong before. Especially in the presence of a complete stranger. "Oh... honey." I take her hand, gently squeezing it. I try to ignore the shivers that run through me and just keep my face sympathetic. "Trust me, I'm the expert on fighting with parents." I hesitate, stealing myself to say what I truly wanted. I looked at my hand, still grasping hers. I take it away quickly, blushing furiously. Was I blatantly advancing on this girl? What was wrong with me?! I'm better than this. I know how to flirt and it's definitely not like this. I could ruin my chances with this girl before they even began. If it was even a possibility. "Listen, there's no need to break in. You ever need anywhere to stay, just knock. Alright?" I smile in spite of myself. "Just take my bed. I'll sleep on the couch or something." Remembering the oats, I jump upwards. Rushing to the kitchen and taking the boiling food off of the stove, I grab two glass bowls and pour the steaming food into them. I take some sugar, small crystals dissolve in the lumpy food. It's not much, but I return to the room setting the bowl in front of her. "Here honey. I smile at her slightly, my heart pounding. "And don't shrug it off like the blanket." The blush only grows darker on my cheeks as I sit on a small chair, scooping a small amount of oats into my mouth. Ouch! I let out a small squeak as the hot food burns my mouth. I swallow it quickly, coughing loudly. Great, I look like a fucking idiot around this beautiful girl. It must have been her, the girl affecting me like this. I wanted so bad to impress her that I was acting like a complete idiot. I felt like I was fourteen again, blushing and running away whenever my first crush was around. I bury my head in my hands letting out an embarrassed groan.

Diamond District 4 . Diamond . Eighteen I would rather forget my past there are things there that I want to forget it's not always pretty, and it's not always easy but I think I can make it through this if someone is with me

[Anna Banana]

She was so beautiful, it was so hard not to lose myself in those eyes, those eyes that showed so much understanding when I said I was having family trouble. She couldn't possibly know though, how could she know what it's like for me, how could she know what it's like to be in my life? She seemed to be in an alright situation, a home to live in, a bed to sleep in, at least she wasn't living in a shack like I was...a shack with a bunch of other siblings. Her eyes seemed to know though, like they were reaching into my soul and she could help me with all the things that were bothering me, that she could see what it was that bothered me. I couldn't help but blush as she looked at me, heat rising to my cheeks even more when she takes my hand and calls me honey. It was too good to be true, I almost didn't want to believe that she was holding my hand, and the words of comfort were even better. She did know what I was going through, she did know my pain...maybe I wasn't alone after all. She was so perfect, her soft hand enclosed around mine as she tells me it will all be okay, even going so far as to offer me a means of staying warm during the night by sleeping in this house. I felt my heart drop a little as I remembered that I had violated this girl though, I had slept with her during the night. Her offer wouldn't stand if she knew that I had done that, there was no possible way that she would extend this offer if she knew what I had done. Her face was so sweet though, I couldn't tell her that I'd done that...and perhaps I was selfish too, I didn't want to lose this house. I stare dumbly at her as she moves around the room, almost afraid to move, afraid that I would wake up from this dream in a dream. I watched her as she left the room quickly to collect something that was in the kitchen, the clinking of dishes alerting me that breakfast was ready. What I wasn't prepared for was a second dish being brought in for me, a second dish for the girl who snuck into her home, a warm breakfast for me. She asked me not to shrug it off like I had with the blanket, and how could I possibly do that, I hadn't eaten a warm meal in several days. I gladly take the bowl from her and start eating, watching her carefully for any move that could possibly be hostile, even if she had shown nothing but warmth to me. I will admit it was cute to watch her eat, you'd think that I had her caught off guard, but how could I possibly flatter myself to believe she could have an interest in me. I loved watching her eat though, and the little groan that escaped her as she buried her face in her hands. It was like she was actually embarrassed to be around me, like I was any cause for her to be in discomfort or anything like that...unless of course she knew that I had slept with her last night. How could she know though, she couldn't possibly know, she couldn't know that I had slept with her. Quickly I place the bowl down onto the floor and stand up, pacing around the room nervously. I had to tell her, I had to tell her that I had slept with her. Finally I allow my pacing to stop in front of her, and I bring my hands around to my back.

[/color] "Miss...miss...I slept with you last night, your bed looked so warm and inviting and you were like an angel so I crawled into the bed and I curled up against you so I could sleep with you."[/div][/div][/div][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table][/div][/color][/font][/color][/font][/div][/div][/div][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table][/div][/font][/font][/font]
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Hallie Croft
District 4 . Hallie Croft . Sixteen

I don't want to be alone anymore
I want to feel what everyone else feels
I want to know what it feels like to be loved
I don't want to be alone anymore

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My cheeks grow even darker at her admission. Was this the reason my father's screams hadn't haunted me that night? That no nightmare danced across my subconscious and into the real world, waking me in a heap of blankets and sweat. She seemed to ashamed, it baffled me. She had laid in my bed, nothing else. Like an angel... my heart beat quickly in my chest. I felt my breath quicken ever so slightly, I set the spoon back into the cooling meal. "No need to sneak in." I bite my lip for a second "You could've just asked.". It was a pitiful attempt at flirting. Testing the waters, to see if what she had said truly meant what I thought it had. This girl was so beautiful. Different than any other. The way her hand had felt in mine, warm and soft. It was enough to send shivers up my spine. I swallowed hard, trying to recover from the anxiety over what I had just said. "Call me Diamond, by the way. That's my name." No shit sherlock Okay, so I was a little out of practice. It'd been years since my last girlfriend. I had still been with my parents at the time, obviously they hadn't approved. It would've "taken away from my training". Whatever the fuck that meant. She had meant a lot to me but her beauty, honestly, was nothing compared to this girl. Not only that, I admired her. Sneaking into a strangers house then just... laying with them? Because they were pretty? It was so bold... so innocent. This girl was like no other. That was for sure. And... I liked it. A lot. Maybe I should have been angry that she had broken in. Crawled into my bed at the dead of night without my knowledge. But I wasn't. If anything it was cute. Like her. It's not every day a pretty girl sleeps with you, that's for sure. But I liked it. I've always owned what I am. Even as a child I never doubted my attraction to the same sex. It was as natural to me to like girls as it was my friends to like guys. As we grew up, we had crushes, gushed over stars. Except theirs were male, and mine were female. Yet I talked to them all the same, and they to me. Owning it, not denying who I am, made my friends comfortable around me. It was just me, a part of me. And most people accepted that. With the exception of my parents, of course, though they didn't approve of me dating whatsoever. "Honestly, it's not everyday beautiful girls climb into my bed." narration "speech" thoughts other

Diamond District 4 . Diamond . Eighteen I would rather forget my past there are things there that I want to forget it's not always pretty, and it's not always easy but I think I can make it through this if someone is with me

[Anna Banana]

The blush that came to her cheeks when I made my admission was enough to make me want to run out of the house then and there. I couldn't decide whether it was anger or embarrassment that caused it, but I wasn't sure I wanted to find out either. Every muscle in my body screamed for me to run away before she got up and hit me or something, I knew it was bound to come, I was that freak that snuck into a bed with her and slept with her. Albeit she didn't know it until I had admitted it to her, but still, I felt...bad...not that I had slept with her, no, that had been amazing, I felt bad for lying to her in the first place. Then she set down the spoon and I winced, ready for the yelling and the anger to come, but it never did, instead she said I didn't need to sneak around...that all I had to do was ask. It wasn't quite the reaction I had been expecting, quite the contrary actually, and I almost didn't want to believe what she had said. I wasn't completely a fool, it wasn't like I was oblivious to flirting, but why would a girl like her even make an attempt at flirting with me? I immediately felt my walls go up, the familiar defense mechanism that I had when people tried to make a fool of me. How many times before had a girl said things like that to me only to take it back later and laugh at my pitiful attempts to restore my self-esteem. Warily I looked her over and took a step back, a guarded expression crossing my face as she introduced herself as Diamond. I barely registered the fact she repeated it twice, I was too lost in the daydream that she really was a diamond, a diamond named Diamond. Once more I felt guilty for not telling her my name sooner, after all I was the intruder here, and yet she introduced herself first. Numbly I nodded and stared at her, Daimond, a beautiful Diamond...that I had slept with. Gods, if my family ever knew I had done that they would kill me, they were so old fashioned 'you should never sleep with anyone until they either give you permission or you're married'. Maybe I should take her up on that offer and ask if I could stay a while, it's not like my family needed another excuse to hate me. I stared at her for a few more seconds before waking up from my trance and decided I would introduce myself to her, to the Diamond. Of course she had to make it all that more awkward for me by saying it's not every day a beautiful girl climbs into her bed. I could feel my pale skin become an even deeper shade of red, the heat radiating off of me as my embarrassment reached a new level. Was she seriously trying to flirt with me, Hallie Croft? I cleared my throat, trying to get a hold of my embarrassment and unease, and began my introduction and explanation for things."It's very nice to meet you Diamond, I'm...I'm Hallie, I'm sorry about all this, all the confusion I mean. I...well...I might take you up on that offer to stay for a while, you know, as long as it isn't an inconvenience. I can help around the house and earn my keep, and I'm an okay fisher as long as crabs don't attack me. I promise I won't sleep with you again...I'm not sure what came over me to do that, it was just...you looked so soft and warm." I squeaked and felt my cheeks heat up even more, was that even possible, in embarrassment. I always did have trouble keeping what I was thinking from spilling out of my mouth, a curse of being a little bit of a ditz I suppose. Either way, I had already said it, so there was no turning back now, I had to fess up to that little slip-up one way or another, let's just hope she didn't ask too many questions as a result of it, the last thing I wanted to do was blow things before they even got started. After all I didn't know for sure if she was really flirting with me, or if she was just trying to mess with my feelings.

Hallie Croft District 4 . Hallie Croft . Sixteen I don't want to be alone anymore I want to feel what everyone else feels I want to know what it feels like to be loved I don't want to be alone anymore

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Why was she so hesitant? I was blatant enough. I needed to know if she could... if we could ever. I know I'm not exactly smooth, it's hard for me. I'm open, when I feel something I'll let them know. It all comes spilling out of my mouth like water. This girl, she responded in no way I had expected. Surely she hadn't responded, but not denied either. She seemed almost unsure. Guilt rushed through me, gripping at my heart. "L-listen. I was far too forward. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or... anything. I'm just a forward person.". And then she speaks, in her voice like a soft bell. I find my heart racing even before she begins. "It's very nice to meet you Diamond, I'm...I'm Hallie, I'm sorry about all this, all the confusion I mean. I...well...I might take you up on that offer to stay for a while, you know, as long as it isn't an inconvenience. I can help around the house and earn my keep, and I'm an okay fisher as long as crabs don't attack me. I promise I won't sleep with you again...I'm not sure what came over me to do that, it was just...you looked so soft and warm." Stay... with me. She wants to stay. With me. I can't help it as a smile crosses my lips. I can barely stop myself from jumping up and down in excitement. And her name, Hallie. It was beautiful, fitting her perfectly. She was so sweet, her voice the very definition of innocence. I bite my lip again, practically shaking from anxiety, and maybe some excitement. "Honey... Hallie, I said it, and I meant it. No questions asked, believe it or not I'm a runaway. I might not get what you're going through, but I know my home life was... shit. Utter shit. And I just want you to be safe. Okay? If you feel safer sleeping with me, go ahead, I've made my opinions on the matter clear. As for other things, we're pretty well off. When Blake, my housemate by the way, sobers his ass up he can milk some money from his rich parents or whatever. Though, I wouldn't mind going fishing with you. I'm a great at protecting pretty girls from crabs." I give her a wry smile. Here I go again. I can't help it. The words force their way out of my mouth. I shake my head, covering my mouth. "I'm sorry. I'm not usually... I'm just nervous. I'm..." I trail off, looking at the floor. I'm acting like a complete... idiot. I didn't even know the age of this girl. I could be completely out of line. Yet, I couldn't stop. This girl's beauty. it was stunning. I was at a loss for words, or a loss to stop them . I was trying so hard to impress here yet here I was acting like a complete fool. I could only hope that my jumbled mix of flirting and actual concern got through to her. And, if she decided to sleep in my bed, I'd have no complaints. narration "speech" thoughts other

Diamond District 4 . Diamond . Eighteen I would rather forget my past there are things there that I want to forget it's not always pretty, and it's not always easy but I think I can make it through this if someone is with me

[Anna Banana]

She thought she was too forward with me...seriously...I had slept with her and she thought she was being too forward with me? Was this girl even for real, it was like she was too perfect for me, ignoring the fact that I had slept with her and invaded her privacy the way I had. This was all moving too fast for me, I couldn't keep up with any of it, I had to like...slow down. Of course she apologized for it all and said she was too forward sometimes, but I couldn't shake the feeling that she was definitely trying to flirt with me. It couldn't be my imagination though, she was definitely trying to flirt with me, and I used the term "try" lightly considering it was a blatant attempt at flirting with me. I wasn't upset by it though...I liked it...it almost made me feel good about myself. I watched a smile play on her lips as she watched me, and I felt conscious about my appearance standing in front of her like this. My clothes were messy and my hair had to be a tangled mop after sleeping in that chair last night. What about me personally, a thin girl with little to her name, and a figure that could only be compared to a stick. I don't know what she could possibly see in me, there was nothing redeemable about me to say the least. What was it that was making her be so nice to me, what was making her flirt with me? Was it the idea of being with a girl again, or was it the fact that I had slept with her? There had to be something that was making her do this, something that was making her try and pursue me like this...something that was making her say those things to me. I looked at her quizzically and almost lovingly, how could I not after all the kindness that she had shown me? She had shown me kindness where no one else had, she hadn't yelled at me after I had slept her, she had even invited me to stay and to sleep with her again should that be what I want. How could I say no to that offer, how could I say no to anything she was saying, how could I say no to an angel? Dumbly I stood I the middle of the room just staring and wondering, what had brought me to this point in my life? Tentatively I took a few steps towards her and smiled shyly, reaching out to take her hand and whispering in a voice that was barely audible to even me. "I want to stay here with you Daimond, I don't want to invade on you or your housemate or anything. I do want to stay with you, you're being far too kind to me after everything I did, after all I snuck into your house and everything. I have to ask though Daimond...why are you being so nice to me, why are you trying to flirt with me? I mean...I'm nothing special at all, I don't even have a figure or a face that you could like, I'm just...Hallie."

Hallie Croft District 4 . Hallie Croft . Sixteen I don't want to be alone anymore I want to feel what everyone else feels I want to know what it feels like to be loved I don't want to be alone anymore

[[nyte]]

My cheeks turn a shade of bright red. I walk over to the girl, to Hallie. A shaky breath enters my lungs, my hands almost shaking as I lay both of them on her shoulders. My face is closer to her than it has ever been, the urge to lean in only a little closer, to press my lips against hers was almost intoxicating. Yet I stand my ground, continuing only to look into the gorgeous eyes only inches away from mine. "Why am I nice? Well, I'm a nice person. As for the flirting... that's a little more complicated. I let out a small breath, biting my lip "I... think you're beautiful. Sweet. Innocent. I'm not doing this for any malicious reason. I don't know why you'd think that. But I guess there is only one way to prove it hm?" I've never been the most subtle person. If Hallie didn't know that by now, she must be more than blind. My hand moves to the back of her head. I lean in, pressing my lips against hers for only a second. Almost instantly I pull away, stepping back before she has time to respond. I close my eyes, feeling tears press against the back of my eyes. For what, I wasn't sure. Relief at having done what I'd wanted to do since I saw the girl sitting in my chair? Or was it fear that she would reject me? I couldn't bring myself to say anything. My heart was beating rapidly withing my chest. I didn't know what was worse, that I had just kissed the girl without her permission, or that I wanted so desperately to do it again. This girl... I had never felt such an intense attraction to anyone. Even though i had only known her for little less than a day. Was it because she had taken my nightmares away? One night she had given my company, given me strength, so that I didn't awake in the middle of the night screaming. Didn't awake to find a bottle of pills in my hand or scratches on my chest. No one had ever done that before. Not only that, but she was beautiful. Even with messy hair, and baggy clothes, she was nothing less that breathtaking. It was apparent that she was uncomfortable with my praise. Possibly even uncomfortable with her body. Silently I vowed to change that, if she stayed of course. I really hoped she would. The thought of holding her in the night, my arm wrapped around her waist, face buried in her hair. Butterflies run rampant in my stomach even thinking about it. She had called me an angel. An angel. How could I even tell her how her beauty made me feel. I couldn't put into words what I was feeling. Far too intense. Too exciting. I continue to stare at the floor, a single tear falling down my cheek. I realized why soon after. I was scared I felt so strongly for this girl. What if she rejected me? Please don't. narration "speech" thoughts other

Diamond District 4 . Diamond . Eighteen I would rather forget my past there are things there that I want to forget it's not always pretty, and it's not always easy but I think I can make it through this if someone is with me

[Anna Banana]

[presto]

Hallie Croft

She certainly wasn't lacking in the modesty area, but she seemed to at least be sincere about that, she didn't crack at all when she said it which leads me to believe she actually thinks she's nice. Then of course she had to go on a tangent about how I was innocent and sweet and all this other stuff that made a deep shade of red cross my cheeks. Still, even after her explaining it I can't figure out whey she thinks all that stuff about me, I'm not really that innocent...am I? I couldn't help but be wary though, too many times now I'd given my heart to someone only to have them break it and throw it away as if it was meaningless, and no matter how she tried to convince me she wasn't like that I couldn't help but be wary. This time I would play it smart, I would be ready for anything, I wouldn't let my heart get broken again.

What she did next took my breath away though, and had I seen it coming I would have probably run away before she could have done anything. As it were though, I was a little slow on the draw and she moved faster than I thought she would, and before I knew it her lips were pressed against mine. It lasted for only a few seconds before she pulled away, but the fireworks that overwhelmed my senses kept going as I looked at her in shock. Almost too quickly she pulled away, stepping back from me with tears pooling up in the corner of her eyes. Dumbly, all I could do was stare at her in shock as my mind registered what she had just done, how she had just kissed me barely even knowing my name. It was a bold move to say the least, and I was undecided whether I liked it or not. That wasn't to say that she was a bad kisser, quite the contrary, her lips were like velvet. What I was undecided on was how to take it...if I should let my walls down.

It was almost like she felt bad though, bad about kissing me, and if I was being honest it was odd for her to kiss me without my permission but I didn't mind. I would never tell her, but I actually hoped she would do it again, I wanted to feel her soft lips against mine again, I wanted to wrap my arms around her and see if she would wrap hers around me and keep me safe. I took a step towards her and froze, my foot hovering above the floor as I contemplated what I was doing. I quickly ran through the previous night and the morning again in my head, trying to make sense of what was going on, but no matter how many times I went through it, it all seemed to be a dream. How many people would believe that I had snuck into a girl's house, slept in bed with her, woken up early to avoid getting caught, had her flirt with me, and then kissed me? It was an unbelievable tale, and if I hadn't lived through it, I wouldn't believe it either.

I just couldn't make any sense of it, nothing made sense to me right now, especially not the praise she was raining down on me the way she was. I didn't think I was any of the things she was insisting I was, and to be honest I felt like running away right now. Numbly I stood there, rubbing my hand up and down my arm, looking at her with a mix of shock and admiration on my face. If only I could be more like this girl, if only I could be as sure of myself as she was. "Please stop saying that stuff...please, it makes me feel strange, especially since I'm not any of those things. I'm not innocent or sweet, otherwise I wouldn't have crawled into a bed with you, I violated your privacy. I...I will stay here with you, but I'd like to just sleep out here for now...I won't invade your privacy again."

I didn't want to hurt her or anything, but I also felt terrible about sleeping with her, despite the fact that she had assured me it was fine. On top of that I felt confused and lost around her, the kiss had thrown me for a loop, and I was finding it increasingly more difficult to think. All I could do was turn around and make my way into the kitchen, leaning against the counter and taking a few deep breaths, desperate to regain my composure.

[/presto]

[[nyte]]

I take a deep breath. There was a sharp burning within me, starting at the bottom of my heart and snaking its way up to my throat. Her lips still linger across mine, soft and sweet. I quickly wipe away the residual  droplets pooled at the edge of my vision.  I was certain I had ruined all chance I had ever had with this girl. That didn't matter right now, I didn't matter right now.  "Listen, Sweetheart." I try to keep my voice calm "I don't just say things to hear my own voice. No matter what you say, I find the idea of a girl crawling into my bed because I was cute... well innocent. And sweet. I see nothing violating, as you did nothing to me. Little more than a kitten curling up against the backs of my legs."  And it was true, admittedly, my flirting had been far too blunt. A girl so young, so fragile, would not want a relationship. Perhaps not even my friendship. All the same i would offer it to her, just as I had my advances. Whether or not she accepted them was, yet again, her own choice.  "I think you are gorgeous. While obviously not interested in me, which I accept, I will not tell you I think otherwise just to appease you. You're simply breathtaking, at least to me. And, I insist you sleep in my bed. I can crash out here, or possibly with Blake. He'll just have to keep it in his pants for a few nights or... something."  I take the untouched bowls into my hands, leaving the room to set them into the already full sink. I was surely loosing it. Of course a girl like her wouldn't be interested in me. She was far too, too good. No matter what she said, or what she thought of herself I could see it. I wouldn't have her be with the likes of me.  With a murderer.  The burden I have carried with me for little over 6 months now. Had it really been that long since my fingers had grasped the cloth on his shirt. Since I lunged out, in such panic to flee his cruelty? Six months since the glass shattered beneath him, red paint staining the floor below him.  I hadn't though of it, not for a very long while. It was the only way I could make it through every day with the guilt that haunted me at night.  Why should it be taken away from me, in the form of this... perfection? Why did I deserve to lose the only thing that reminded me of what a monster I was?  The truth, the whole truth, was that I didn't.  I return to the room after a short while, giving Hallie a sad smile. I make my way over to the fire place, taking the matches hidden just under the mantle and attempt to light the small, damp logs that lay inside.

Diamond District 4 . Diamond . Eighteen I would rather forget my past there are things there that I want to forget it's not always pretty, and it's not always easy but I think I can make it through this if someone is with me