i found the cure to growing older {Ali}

[Gavin]

AVALON ROXAS

narrating [E0E0E0]
thinking [949494]
talking [6E0A0A]
others talking [DB0000]

Av isn't a people person.
Well- it all depends on your definition. Because he does like people. The interaction thing, he could do without. It's just- it's not something he likes dealing with. That's the entire truth of it.
He's by the training center, wondering if it's worth the time to try getting in. Officially, he's been kicked out for some reason or another. Like he really cares. It might be satisfying to get his hands around a weapon, though, and maybe he could spar someone and "accidentally" prick them a little, and yeah, that sounds kind of perfect.
He slips through the doorway and they check his ID at the front table. It seems to ring up as some sort of warning that he guesses amounts to "Don't let in this piece of crap". No big loss.
He smiles at the trainer at the desk, and they roll their eyes and wave him in anyway. He got lucky today, then. There's one who awkwardly avoids eye contact and shoves him out every time, and he doesn't even want to think about what happened there. Certain things can remain ambiguous and he is more than okay with that.
So he's screwing around now. Technically, this probably isn't the intended purpose of the equipment, but hey. Why not use the time he's got?
This is one of the few times he honestly wishes he had someone to talk to. Dueling with strangers gets annoying because you stab them and then they get all pissy and before you know it someone is getting their ass hauled off to the detention center for another week.
So yeah, maybe Av kind of, maybe, sort of wishes he had a friend.
God, it sounds so pathetic when you put it that way. Like one of those lame stories they had in the little-kid books that stopped being made because nobody wanted to pay for that. He doesn't even really want a friend. More of an acquaintance. Just someone who he can say mutual "hi's" to and who won't get mad when he breaks skin. [That's happened a surprising amount of hookups, honestly. Don't ask. Or do, because he'd be happy to tell.]
He looks at the doorway, and there's a blond girl there. She's pretty, even though he honestly leans more towards guys. There's a fascinated kind of look in her eyes. It gives him a weird feeling in the bottom of his stomach. He doesn't realize he's still staring until he's- apparently, cut something- yeah, that's his thumb bleeding. He's had worse, but still. Fuck.

dID I DO THIS RIGHT?TAG
this is bad and I'm sorry NOTES
470 WORDS

Erika! If you steal I shall send demonic Panda Bears after you! CREDIT

[/i]

[ali]

♥ Astrid Shaw ♥ It was not often that Astrid’s father took her out with him on a business venture; he did not exactly love his daughter like others should but since her latest trip to the rehabilitation center her behaviour had become better. She had not lashed out recently, so he thought her good behaviour should be awarded with a trip to a coffee shop but first; Mr Shaw had to make a stop off at the Career centre to finalize a deal for some renovations he was supervising. He feared Astrid would begin to have a moment when he told her they had to stop by the center for a little while but she had just nodded and gone back to looking out the window. The young woman rested her head on her chin as she watched the sky pass by overhead as their chauffer drove towards the Career centre; the sky was bright today, the radiating blue color was not spoiled by a cloud or bird. It looked perfect. Her breath frosted against the cold car window- it expanded then vanished again- as she sighed; Astrid could not remember the last time she had been allowed out the house or let alone go out with her father. From what she understood, he didn’t like to be seen with her. They had kept her illness under wraps- to avoid bringing shame on the Shaw name- and avoided her contact with the outside world until her most recent (and most successful) trip to rehab. Astrid sat back in her seat as she tried to forget the things that had happened within the walls of that dreadful building with bars on the windows and death locked inside. *** The world was closing in on her- the walls growing closer- and she could barely find the room to breathe. Astrid could not remember how long she had sat in this darkness with no light to help her escape; she reckoned it could have been days. She had stopped crying by now, the tears had run dry and her throat swelled with aching sadness. It was unbelievably hot in her room- she was sure her parents had sent her to hell its self- and her hair curdled with sweat as she heaved in ragged breaths as the voices taunted her still. Astrid had come here to be fixed but she seemed more broken than before. Bitch, stupid, useless were some of the phrases the voices were shouting at her and it was driving her insane. In the darkness, Astrid began to see shapes form. Monsters. The voices laughed as she let out a sob and her chest rattled with dryness. The monsters were shadows, not fully formed shapes, but they were surrounding her. They reached from the walls and the ceiling, their hands leaked from between the bars on the windows. Maliciously their hands turned into claws as they got closer to Astrid, whose body shook in fear. The young woman felt like a child who was afraid of the dark. Covering her ears and scrunching her eyes tightly until it hurt she let out a desperate scream; praying someone would hear her cries. “STOP IT!! LEAVE ME ALONE” Astrid sobbed as she could feel the monsters getting closer. Her body trembled in fear as the voices taunted her with viciousness; telling her the monsters were close and going to get her. The young woman curled into a ball tightly- wishing that the world would just fall away from beneath her. She let out a piercing cry as fear completely consumed her- tears streaming down her cheeks. Astrid wanted to give up. She wanted the voices to leave her alone and the monsters to go away and the dead people to stay dead, but that wound never happen. Not for her. *** “We are here Astrid, you can come in if you wish” Her father spoke as the car pulled to a stop outside the career center, bringing Astrid back to the present day. Nodding Astrid turned to her father- a plump man with thinning blonde hair- who was climbing out the car as he spoke again; this time more impatiently “Come on Astrid, I do not have all day” Astrid quickly followed her father as the chauffer opened her door- letting a blast of chilly winter air hit her face. Though she were wrapped up warm in her baby pink double breasted trench coat- made of a soft warm fabric with golden buttons and white fur collar- the cold was still felt throughout her bones; her teeth chattered as they cross the snow cleared path towards the entrance of the Career centre. Astrid gazed up at the tall, white metallic building ahead of her which was oddly shaped like a pyramid almost with large black tinted windows covered the entirety of the front face of the building. It was intimidating- the way it towered into the deafening blue sky above- and it made Astrid head swirl as she craned her neck to see the very top as she and her father walked into the lobby. Her father had been swiftly greeted by a man in a suit before disappearing off up a flight of stairs. They’ve been gone for so long, Astrid thought as she looked at the clock again, its been 30..40…45 minutes!! Where are they? The young woman was slowly growing frustrated with her father. He had said he would only be a few minutes, and here she was nearly an hour later still waiting for his return. She began to feel the voices stir inside her head as her frustrations grew, the darkness had begun to slowly close in on her but she was fighting back. Taking a deep breath, Astrid dug her hand into her pocket and pulled out her pills; swallowing two before the monsters could appear. Another 10, 20 minutes passed and the darkness ebbed away into the light and Astrid felt safe again but still her father had not returned. To avoid her frustrations arousing another attack of the monsters and creatures of her mind, the young woman decided to go looking for him. Standing, Astrid cross the lobby and walked up the same stairs her father had done before her. There were many floors and she did not know where to start but her mind told her it was logical to start with the 1st floor. A large metal door separated her and the stairwell from the first floor; through the window of the door she could see a large, almost empty, room which had mirrors lining the walls and two large windows looking out across the snow covered District. There were people fighting in there- their bodies moved with grace and agility as they dodged attacks- she did not think her Dad would be in here but she never knew. Pushing open the door, the young woman walked out into the long corridor that was separated by the training area with art deco screens. Walking down the corridor, Astrid passed many people fighting. Somewhere as young as 9, training to become the best fighters so that one day they could win the games. It was an odd concept to Astrid. Having people train you so that you are prepared to kill other children if they chance came; but how high was that chance? Astrid did not think it was very high but sometimes people thought over the chance to become tribute; why they so eagerly wanted death to stare at them in the face was a mystery to the Shaw girl, she had seen death before and it had been frightening. *** The voices had become too much for Astrid Shaw. They had bullied her to brink of oblivion- with their taunts- and now she was about to take a swan dive into the abyss; she feared it but it was an escape. The young woman stood looking down at the river below, its icy waters swirled in the twilight and she swore she could hear death laughing at her but it was just the voices again. Climbing over the railing, the young woman held on for a moment. Fear was stopping her from making the jump- it multiplied and spread quickly through her body- into the river below. The Shaw girl tried to swallow her fear, as her throat bulged with a sob, and began to sing the lullaby her mother had always sung to her when she were very small. “Catch a falling star and…put it in your pocket…never let it fade away” her body rattled with fear as she stared at the torrent of water below her and her voice became sobs “Catch a falling star and…..put…put it in your pocket…save... it…for a rainy day…..” The last few words were a whisper as Astrid Shaw let go of the bridge and fell through the air towards the water. It seemed as if time itself had stopped. She fell but the river seemed so far below her, her heart froze as wind rushed past her face; deafening her as it roared past her ears as she tumbled towards the earth. Gravity pulled her down, like it was supposed to. Then she hit the water. It felt like she were hitting a brick wall at high speed. The impact made her gasp, which was a bad idea since that gasp meant she inhaled a lot of water and that she was in oblivion almost immediately. *** Astrid was just about to give up on finding her father on this floor when something, more like someone, caught her attention- a young man, no older than she was, fighting in a section at the far end of the corridor. He had black and blonde hair, which was really odd to Astrid. All the people she knew had one hair colour, never two; but that was not all that caught Astrid’s attention, it was the odd patterns that had been painted across the man’s skin that captivated the young Shaw girl. They swirled and crossed – they were beautiful- Astrid had never seen anything like it. Peering round the corner of one of the screens, Astrid watched as the boy continued to fight with his sparring partner. All of a sudden, the boy was watching her closely. He had noticed her watching. Astrid’s cheeks flushed with a rosy pink in slight embarrassment that someone had caught her peeping at them from behind the screens. The young man was watching her intently with his brown eyes- examining her as if she was prey, a piece of fresh meat- and it frightened Astrid a little. He was a career- he could probably kill her with his hands. Astrid did not know how to fight; she would not stand a chance against somebody like him. When the voices made her angry, she could be violent, she would lash out at someone or throw something against the wall but those punches and movements were unorganized, clumsy. The way the young boy moved was graceful and it had precision- precision you needed to kill. The boy appeared too distracted by Astrid to notice his attack lunging for him with a knife. “Oh…” Astrid put her hand to her mouth as she saw a fine red line of blood trickle down the creases of the boys thumb. She thought it was probably best that she try get back to searching for her Dad before the young boy got angry for her being his distraction during the fight; she had no way of knowing how he would react. She also didn’t want the voices to be triggered by the sight of blood. Watching him for one last moment, Astrid quickly walked backwards before hurrying off back to the stairwell, except she must have taken a wrong turn somewhere because she soon found herself in a changing room. “This isn’t the way out…” she said to herself, her brow furrowing with childish confusion as she looked around the white tiled locker room. WC♥2,003

[Gavin]

AVALON ROXAS

narrating [E0E0E0]
thinking [949494]
talking [6E0A0A]
others talking [DB0000]


She's so fucking pretty.
I don't even know how to say this.
I'm staring at her. I feel dizzy. Should probably call the fight before I get hurt again. Whatever.
She looks- I don't know, angelic or something. I feel like a dirty sinner. Hell, she's probably- stop that thought stop that thought oh my god, Av.
Her skin looks soft. I bet it is.
"Yeah, um," I say, voice hoarse as I glance at my sparring partner. He looks mildly irritated at me. "I'm gonna have to go...?"
He rolls his eyes at me, and I stumble out of the main gym.
I should probably bandage my hand before I bleed much more. People don't tend to react well when you're making out and all of a sudden you're bleeding all over them.
Anyways.
I keep thinking about that girl, though. Ugh, she was just all pretty and innocent looking. That's not even the type I normally go for- hang on, that makes me sound like a world-class asshole. What I'm trying to say is that honestly, girls like that- all blonde and pretty and rich and that- don't normally like me. Still sound like an asshole. Ugh.
She was checking me out, though. I think. I hope. Hey, I'm not normally wrong about these things.

It's weird, though, because I'm not thinking the usual kind of things that happen when I see someone hot. I'm thinking about snuggling and hand-holding and this isn't how my brain works.

I grab my backpack and basically run to the locker-shower-whatever room. It's empty right now, or it should be, because most of the hardcore-career types don't stop training til late. I'm just a wimp, I guess. Like I care. I'm about to start changing, when I hear something.
Crap, is that..?
Yeah, apparently. I look around the corner and she's standing in the center of the room. She looks confused. I wonder if she's been here before? Probably not, judging by the look on her face.
I don't think she's seen my yet. Should I say something yet or leave it?
"Uh," is what ends up coming out. "Hey?"

n/a TAG
i'm so sorry NOTES
388 WORDS
none LYRICS

Erika! If you steal I shall send demonic Panda Bears after you! CREDIT

[ali]

♥ Astrid Shaw ♥ Pristine, cleanliness, white. It all was so bright and stark, it hurt Astrid’s eyes; she blinked a couple of times as she looked around. She had been sure that this had been the way she had come before but clearly she was wrong. The fact she had taken a wrong turn, the fact she could not get back, frightened her a little; she was worried what her father would think when he returned to find that she had wandered off yet again. He probably wouldn’t take her out with him for a long time. As Astrid spent more time in the room, the room began to remind her of the hospitals she had spent most of her life in- the room smelt and breathed cleanliness- this made her anxious also. Memories of the hospitals were not fond ones; she would not even go so far to call them hospitals since they had not made her better. Even now, the voices nagged at the back of her skull, threatening to break free and cause trouble. Anxiety and unwanted memories began to swell inside Astrid like the ocean surf during a storm at the sea; the more provoking the laughs and whispers got, the bigger and brighter the memories got. *** “Do it.” Spoke the voice But I don’t want to do it, Astrid thought to herself as she watched her Nanny clean the mess she had scribbled on the walls. The voices had told her to do that too. To draw art all over the walls, but not nice art. Astrid had used all the dark and scary colours in her crayon box she owned to create a mural of death, blood and violence; though she was certain that even if it had been of cats and rabbits, the Nanny would have still scolded her. Now she stood there mumbling at what a stupid child Astrid was and this made the voices angry. Very Angry. “Do It.” “Just Push Her.” Astrid shook her head and quietly whispered no to herself watching the Nanny scrub at the wall, mumbling, as the voices got louder and louder. Soon the voices were drumming inside her head, yelling, and screaming for her to push the Nanny down the stairs; Astrid begun to cry. The Nanny told her off, told her to stop moping and to go away. Astrid wish she had not said that, because now the voices were really mad, and it was making her mad too. When the Nanny was not looking, Astrid walked over. Her face dead pan, she shoved the woman with all her might. The Nanny cried before tumbling down the stairs with the crashing and cracking of bones filling the air as she crashed against the marble stairs; her body flopped limply when she reached the bottom. When Astrid had realized what she had actually she had done, she screamed. *** “Uh…Hey??” Spinning on her heels, she saw the man from the training room. The man with painted skin. Astrid felt her cheeks blush as she realized that this must be the guys changing room- how embarrassing- luckily the man was not half or fully naked; else Astrid may have run away or cried or both. The man was watching her and he seemed a little confused about why she were there, but at the same time, curious as to who she was. Astrid was also curious to who he was, the man with the painted skin and the man with the cut hand. Glancing at his hand, she wondered if the cut still hurt, if it still bled, if the voices would notice. They had clearly noticed something since they were snickering quietly in the back of her skull and getting louder. “Shh!!” Astrid hushed them. She now wished she had not left her meds downstairs, they could have helped her keep cool at this point in time. She was embarrassing herself already in front of the man already- the voices were not helping. Mustering up the remaining sanity, while fiddling with her hem of her dress, she smiled sheepishly “Hi…uh..this…isn’t the way out….” Nailed it Astrid thought to herself confidently. WC♥665