When the 'War' is over [Arianna one-shot]

[Sage]

I've got to tell you something
You may just disagree
But always time

"I volunteer" The words that rang through the silent square as I stood there at the reapings play endlessly through my mind. I knew then and there that the words would be the death of my brother, the perfect career but he wouldn't come home. I remember the tears that streamed from my eyes for days after he was reaped but I didn't even go to say good-bye. Why didn't I say good-bye, why didn't I tell him I was sorry for not being better? That I was sorry that he was brainwashed into this? I'm sorry Ares that you have to die this way. The words are unspoken on my lips, how I wish I could have said them to him but I didn't and I can't go back now. Am I a coward because I loved my brother? Am I a coward because I don't want him to die? I don't think I am, at least I don't see myself as a coward. Others might, I'm 17 years old and I still haven't volunteered for the games. I don't want to go into the games, I don't want to fight other kids my own age for glory and fame, there is no glory in killing people, there is only pain, pain for the families whose loved ones have been snuffed out by the blade of a sword.

If you're in need of assistance
Hold on to me
On to me

A knot of worry tightens inside my stomach as I blink open my eyes, sunlight streaming in through the window. It has been six days since the beginning of the games and for some reason, I know that today, something terrible is going to happen. I stretch out my arms and get out of bed, slipping on my slippers and putting on my robe before I head downstairs to the living room. The games are playing on the screen of the television and I feel sick to my stomach. On the screen, Ares is fighting for his life against the girl from one, the one who attacked him the day before after he killed her district partner. That fight was brutal and bloody, two deaths; the small blonde girl from eleven and Argonite shore, the one with the Victor for a sister. Right from the start of the fight, I'd known that the girl from eleven would die, it was three people who were obviously allies against her on her own but only the pair from one attacked her. Ares turned on his allies. An idiotic move if I do say so myself.

This season change your sanity
I'd help you on your feet
On your feet.

As I watch the fight, it looks as if Ares might actually stand a chance. I turn away from the screen and wander into the kitchen, my stomach growling at me, demanding that I put food into it. I search the cupboards for something edible before grabbing some crackers. A pit forms in my stomach right before a canon sounds from the other room and I drop my crackers, racing into the living room. They say that sometimes, you can feel it when a loved one dies and this, for me is true. There, lying on the grass bleeding out, is my big brother, a thrown knife in his neck in a fatal spot. My knees buckle beneath me and I sink to the ground. Ares, no. Tears prick my eyes and I feel wetness trail over my cheeks. "He-he's go-gone." I stutter as I hear footsteps run into the room. Not looking to see who it is, I feel my mothers arms wrap around me as I crumple into her and feel the tears run down my face. She strokes my hair soothingly, telling me it will be alright. How can it ever be alright, Ares is dead, my big brother who loved and protected me is gone.

Oh brother
My brother's gone
Oh brother
My brother's gone

I curl into a ball on my bed, my body shaking as sobs escape my lips. I shouldn't be crying but I can't help it, I can't help that I'm upset over the death of my family, of my blood (not technically of my blood but still). I am weak, I am weak because I am upset that my brother is dead, fine. I will admit that I cared about him, that I loved him, and according to the rest of district two, that makes me weak. I am weak but I am not broken, nor will I ever be broken. The war, for now, is over.