High on words we almost used - [Marr / Anatra]

[Anatra]

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Max ORCA

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Obviously, the last few hours were traumatic, to say the absolute least. With the same cold clothes on my skin, I walk the halls of the hospital with a speed. Tyren is behind me, only by a little bit. I'm leading him to the doctor's office, where we've been told to go to, probably to ensure he's alright with a quite examination. He's quite pale, with a dryness to his brown eyes that is unusual. Dehydration would be my first guess, probably induced through the use of medication alongside high levels of stress. That would be my examination. We reach the door. With a turn to Tyren, I know to knock instead of him, because he gives me a shrug of the shoulders. He does it with a laziness that makes me wary of his condition. The guy is never lazy, never resting. Always on the ball, always doing something. We're all like that, it seems.

*knock knock knock*, and we both walk forward through a door that was opened for us. "Ah, Max. Not who I was expecting." I raise a brow at him. "Well, you see Orca you can expect there's more than one." I tell him, joking a little because I know this isn't hugely serious. Unless it's because of something else. "Tyren, is it?" He asks, as though he would have to. Most active doctors would remember him. "Yeah. It's just this dizziness..." The doctor coughs a little under his breath. "Well, Mr. Orca. It's much more than that, clearly." He takes out his light-pen from his shirt pocket and clicks it. Illuminating, it is pointed into Tyren's unknowing eyes. He's dazzled a bit, but he adjusts. I stand by the door with my arms folded, eyes narrowed. I check the nature of the doctor's evaluation. I might be doing something like that one day. Hopefully not for my own cousin, again. The doctor sits back down. "Bloodshot eyes... paleness of the skin..." He looks at a little file he had open on his desk. I scan over from where I stand, and see Tyren's name at the top. "Dehydration?" I suggest, because I feel I should. He shakes his head at me. "Well..." He begins to admit. "Yes, but that's not the problem." I narrow my eyes again, studying all of this. It's like a lesson. I can see such because it's not at all serious. I just know it.

"Right." He moves to look at Tyren as though he were to break some kind of news. It has me curious, anxious and maybe a bit worried. "You're on Nortriptyline, and all of..." He points in Tyren's general face area. "...Is an allergic reaction to it. It's quite rare actually. Obviously, I'd stop taking it. Don't want you knocked out, again." He eyes me briefly to check if the joke was in taste. I don't nod, but I'm not at all mad-looking so I think he accepts that enough. "So what about the headaches?" He asks the doctor. "Well we'll have to give you a substitute drug. Unless you want to trial a new line of medicatory processes?" Tyren shrugs and looks at me. I know what the doctor is suggesting. He means the diet that allows your blood to thin out. But unfortunately, I think Tyren's already doing that as it is. "I don't think that's much different from normal." I say to the doctor. Tyren doesn't have a clue what we mean, but he doesn't care to I don't think. I feel a bit like his parent here, but that's what it's like talking to somebody who knows what they are talking about, you end up forgetting others don't. "Substitute drug it is." The doctor finally says, and stands with the folder being handed to Tyren. "Yours, Mr Orca. Stay safe until the medication is delivered to your household." I then ask the doctor out of curiosity and concern; "You have our new address, right?" He then points to the computer subtly. "All on the system, pal." With that, we leave the room and into the hallway.

The smell of the hospital is something I'm used to, and something Tyren hates. For obvious reasons each way. I know my way around this one like the back of my hand, since it's my workplace. "This way, Ty." I tell him. Him and I have become much better friends recently. We always have been, but all of this has just allowed us to assure ourselves that we can depend on each other. I won't forget how he risked his job to stop me from getting into trouble. It's a shame his friend, Matthew - my friend too actually... Not - didn't agree with Tyren. "What ward is she on?" Tyren asks me from behind. "Recovery." I inform him. "But that's for after-surgery..." He speaks, as though he knows what he's talking about. He does, he spent a good few weeks there. "Yeah, but also for trauma cases if the rest are full up."
We get to the doors of recovery and they swing open. It's so quiet. This is my regular ward to work on. It's for looking after patients when they've just had surgery. It's probably the more crucial stages of any surgery. A surgeon can only do so much, the rest is literally the recovery. The nurses and doctors here a generally less stressed simply because their job involves listing drug countings, and moving patients. But also comforting those that are perhaps in distress or discomfort. It's my favorite ward because you get to know the patients sometimes. But that isn't always a good thing. In fact, it rarely is. Especially if they are a relative. Tyren isn't leading the way by any means. It's almost like this place makes him vulnerable. I feel sorry for him, I really do. But we're here to visit the girls. Kyanite and Gala. I'm not sure whether either of them are fit for visitors, or whether Kyanite is even alright? I just don't know.

I walk down the ward until I see their room, or one of their rooms at least. Tyren doesn't follow behind me, he's by a vending machine. He'll make his way in a bit, I guess. Greedy Tyren.

[*]

KYANITE R U Z E D I S T R I C T T W O

◼ Ⅱ ▸ "Miss Ruze. Can you talk to us? Can you tell us what happened tonight?" Their voices echo into my ears. I hear them, no doubt. I feel like their screaming in my ears. The shrill voice of the nurse as she moves this light over my eyes. The doctor whose touching my neck. I grimace so much to the touch. It feels like him. It hurts. They take their time trying to ask me questions in responce to the trauma that I've been through, yet they get no where without my voice. So, in responce, I just end up closing my mind and ears to them. I let my eyes sink into nothing but a blank stare, my eyes half closed and focused simply on one spot on the wall the entire time. I don't want to talk to them. Why won't they just leave me alone? Being fussed over by the doctors is hardly what I want. Why would I? What will I say that can simply tell them what I'm feeling? What I'm going through? Will they put me away into a psych ward and strap me to the bed if I struggle to get out of this place? Perhaps, they will try to force me to talk by torturing me with needles and tests? It's only more reasons to keep everything to myself. The nurses leave me alone finally. They've done all they can for now to further the torture. Now, with silence gives me time to think and react to this all. The only thing that keeps ringing in my head is something I had said the last time I was in the hospital. I promised Matthew I would stay out of here. I told him the next time I wanted to be in hospital, it would be for a different purpose, such as training to become a nurse. I don't want to be here. I'd rather get sent home and have Jeran cover me up with my thick blanket instead of this crap. I want to have Matthew's arm around me, protecting me from these people that want to force me to drink something or to tell them something. I'd rather just sleep this off, so I close my eyes. Instead of a welcoming moment, images shoot themselves at me from all directions. His face is there in every corner of my mind. Now of all times, I wish I hadn't been left alone. It's fortunate that the doctors have finally quit messing over my neck. The xrays are done. The evaluations are finished. Somehow they've managed to figure out there isn't no permanent damage to the muscles in my throat, yet they can't feel the tightness I do when I move. They do realize how much my body is in shock from everything tonight. So, little bits of liquid has been pushed through the tubing on the I.V. It's suppose to calm my nerves, they said. But, I can't get my mind to stop seeing the blood. They said the medication would make me relax and sleep. So, I've refused to close my eyes to appease anyone. They've left me alone, so I turn over and bury my face into the pillow. template by chelsey

[Anatra]

---

Max ORCA

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I walk past many doors. With brief looks into the windows, I navigate my way to what, at first, I think to be an empty room. No nurses or doctors inside, nothing. But then I see her, laying there in the bed. Kyanite. Or at least it must be her, I only see half her head. You can tell, though. I don't know exactly how at first, but now that I know, I know. I wait by the door for a moment. No, longer. In fact, it takes me as long as it does for Tyren to get back with his drink. A can of some kind of soft drink. He looks at me, then to my shirt. The bloodied rag that people must have been staring at. I'm not going in with this on, am I mad?

I turn on my heel and nod at him, thankful but without a word. What am I going to do? Ah, I know... The locker room. It's located just behind the desk. I go to the little desk there is in the recovery ward, and the person behind it recognises me. "Max, what happened?" She asks out of curiosity, but doesn't look all too concerned. "Nothing, I just need to get changed. Got the key?" I ask her politely. It's usual for me to be allowed, even though it's not my shift at all. Hasn't been for weeks. Not everybody knows me in the hospital, at all. Just the occasional few, but I just so happen to have bumped into two of them today, conveniently. I take the key from the desk with a dutiful smile and proceed straight to the locker room.

I change straight out of the rag. I have a couple of spare clothes in here just because I leave them sometimes and never take them out. I take out a grey t-shirt and slip that on, with a blue jacket coming out as well, I just put that on top, too. There's a pair of jogging bottoms and a black t-shirt in the locker as well. I grab them for Tyren, who must be itching to get out of his previously soaked bunch of clothes, too. We haven't even been home yet, that's how long we've been here. Tired isn't the word.

I go back, and didn't expect Tyren to still be outside. "What's up, you not going in?" I ask him. "I... Yeah, I was just..." He acts a bit awkward at my question. I smirk at him, narrowing my eyes a little in hope that he isn't falling for her at all. Now just isn't the time, buddy. "Here." I hand him the clothes. "I wouldn't change in front of her." I inform him, half serious. "Do you take me for a Pera?" He grins back. "Go in then." I push him a little and he ends up opening the door with himself, and walks in casually. "Kyanite?" He asks her, gently. He clearly cares not to wake her. She looks asleep.

Seeing her lying there, in her own quiet drama, it's not pleasant. It's like watching Tyren all over again, but just as bad. My heart is beating fast, but the smells of the hospital always put it at a rest. I still feel it though. I take a seat next to her bed, on one of the chairs that are either side. Tyren stands at the head of the bed, a little unsure where to put himself. It must be strange, being this side of the situation. I don't say anything, I just let Tyren be awkward as he sees fit. "How're you feeling?" He asks her, as any sane person would.

[*]

KYANITE R U Z E D I S T R I C T T W O

◼ Ⅱ ▸ Time crawls by; second by second and minute by minute. The room stays as silent as ever since the nurses have left me be. They think the medicine they pushed through the tubing is working, yet it's barely even touched my senses. I appear to be under the spell, but my mind is in a tizzy. It's working on overtime. It's being driven on auto pilot with no hope at the wheel. Deep echoes invade my mind of the man those fingers have hurt me more than once. The words spewed out by his mouth. The noises that I keep replaying in my head. The only thing I let myself feel is more fear. It's not exactly the fear of sleeping that's keeping me awake. It's the fear of not waking up again. It's the fear that this time, I won't be brought back to life. What if the next time, the image of my mother will take my hand and lead me into that place for all eternity, wherever that is? So many questions take over my conscious thoughts. The white wall in front of me seems to act as a projector. No matter what I do, my mind is set on replay. With the diminishing strength, I clinch my teeth and bite down hard on nothing but their opposing side. Tooth againt tooth until my jaw wants to crack, only then do I let up. The idle beeps of the machine wants to lull me to sleep. It's such a rythmic sound to me that I almost give in to the power of the drug that's running through my system. I try to fight it. I want to fight it, but it relaxes me finally and allows the muscles in my neck to become less tense as well. No more pain comes with the stillness that becomes me. My mind, though, is never idle. Gala. Are you okay? Why were they in such a hurry to get you to the hospital? Why wouldn't they tell me anything about your condition? What about Jins? What happened to him. Is he here in this hospital too? Can he escape? Does he know where I am? My fingers jerk suddenly and I draw them so close to my chest to keep my limbs from shaking. That's when I hear the footsteps. As quiet as they are, I've already got it figured out in my head who it is. The best method to avoid it? Pretend to be asleep. Despite my need to let in the light, I watch the darkness from within. I'm not ready to fight this guy again. More than likely, if his hands touch me, I'm sure I'll go rigid and just fade away quickly. It don't happen, though. "Kyanite?" The voice comes out with in such a low, gentle tone. The voice isn't threatening at all. I'm not even sure if the doctors would address me in that tone, slow and hesitant. Then the fear seems to grip my heart. Jins' voice does that. Starts off sweet, sometimes gentle and it never lasts for long. This visitor's voice changes to me. I dont' hear the gentle words of some male figure, but I hear the rough, masculine voicce of Jins. I hear the deep tone and curl up within myself. My legs drawn up to my body as I try to protect myself. "How're you feeling?" He questions. I'm determined not to answer his retched voice. Isn't it better that Jins not know that I'm awake? What if all of this is just an illusion? A gentle moan escapes my lips. A second later, I relax all over again when the voice reregisters in my head. "Tyren?" My voice cracks heavily and it's brought on by a cough and yet another gentle moan. I won't release my protective stance. What I ask though, is enough for him to deal with. "Where is ...he?" template by chelsey

[Anatra]

---

Max ORCA

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She's curled herself up a bit, protecting herself even from the gentlest voice I've heard Tyren come out with. Something's up, and I think for once I don't know what it is. It's always her that I can't fuse together, can't figure out. All of the people I know have the same achilles heel. Kyanite is different, though. To me, she's strong at the side of friends. To me, she's weak at his bidding. She's let him win, it seems. At least partially. But then, she doesn't know if Matthew is safe or not. She doesn't know anything, I don't think. Neither do I.

"Tyren?" Her voice rises to a croak. I see him cringe silently. He probably hates to see people like this. I'm far too used to it for my own good. He eyes me briefly, but waits to see if she moves, maybe relaxes. He doesn't like the effect our presence is having, I can tell. "Where is ...he?" If it were me answering, which I'm not going to as I don't want to reveal that I'm there yet, she hasn't looked over I don't think, I would say that he's bad. Took a stab wound, isn't looking too happy right now. But Tyren doesn't do that. I don't know why. "He's alright. He's a tough guy." I think he's assumed that she meant Matthew. She probably didn't, but I think I'm getting the bearings of what Tyren is doing. He's avoiding talk about Jins in order to make it seem like it isn't the primary focus. Maybe that way, it will deter her from thinking about him too... But how can she? He could have killed her.

Then I'm reminded that Tyren saved this girl. I wasn't there, but he mentioned it. I don't think he's ever saved somebody before. It's simple for me, I try it all the time. It mostly works. But him? He's never had to do that before. He must be torn up right now. That's his best friend's girlfriend. What's that doing to him emotionally? I can't even think about that, it's too complex for me.

Tyren is far too positive in my opinion, but right now he's anything but. He's in some kind of a sympathy mode. Caring, nurturing. I've been prone to not see such a side of him before. It's a rare form of negativity. One that accounts for the problems truthfully, and builds on them without lying or covering the truth with positivity. It's a smart thing to do, something I wouldn't expect from him.

I don't think he feels comfort in sitting next to her as I am. She's facing the other way, so she hasn't seen me yet, it seems. He's like that. He doesn't like to press any kind of wrong impression. Or maybe the right impression? I'm unsure what his motives and opinions are right now.

He cracks open his soft drink can and take a drink. If anything, him and I are probably the more casual visitors that she's going to get. Yet... I haven't spoken to her since that day at the cafe. She just walked out on me... The words were akin to 'Maybe some people don't deserve to be saved' or something similar that my memory loses. At the time I wasn't hurt by those, but I think as time went on it brooded in my head about what she meant, how she meant it and who she was trying to implicate. Me, of course. Maybe she didn't mean it? I don't know...
...Do I care?

No. Because I'm not for her. We're going to be friend, at most.
That's just the way fate has it. Fortunately or not.

"Wasn't this the room you were in?" I ask Tyren out of curiosity, looking around a little. He shakes his head at me. "No, I was in the opposite one." I nod at him. "Similar layout." I say. My idea is to be here, but whatever happens from here on out won't be my doing. I don't feel responsible for anything she has to say to me, because I'm not sure how I felt or feel about what she said last. Maybe I'm being pathetic, but maybe I'm also being real.

[*]

KYANITE R U Z E D I S T R I C T T W O

◼ Ⅱ ▸ "Where is...he?" My voice comes out with a pain. My question is directed to anyone who will tell me where Jins is. If Jins is going to be anywhere near my room. If so, I will walk out of here even if no one likes it. I won't be put at risk again. They can have the murdering son of a bitch and I will succumb to my death far away from this place if need be. Tyren, on the other hand, doesn't realize who I'm talking about. I distinctly said 'He' because I don't want to say his name. His name has been nothing but torture to me since I was a child. I grew up with that name constantly beside my ear. He's never left me alone, even in my dreams. Is it possible that it could all be over? I can't remember hardly what happened after I was loaded into the ambulance. I can hardly even remember the ride here. Why can't I remember anything that is safe? "He's alright. He's a tough guy." The words echo over and over again within my head. 'He's alright'. Jins is safe? Did Jins truely survive the ordeal and if so, what happened to Vy and Matthew? What about Tyren's brother? The one who swapped watches with him because they liked the opposite colors best. I feel my body shutter to the thought that my friends and boyfriend isn't alright. My mind buzzes with memories. The trip to the hospital, I vaguely remember Max and Tyren being in the back with me. I remember being so quiet for what seemed like ages before we took off. I completely shut down after that, I feel. All the sounds and movements just became black and white to me. Nothing made sense. Even the paramedics words as he poked needles into my skin didn't effect me. I wanted to remember nothing. Now? This is the first time I am trying to come back into play with what's going on and it's just because Tyren is here with me. He understands what's going on. He were there with me. Where is Max now? Is it possible, that my hurtful words got to him so much that he came only to show up then disappear on me? My fingers remove a drop of liquid falling down my cheek, tickling the sensitive skin. A sniffle next and I open my eyes fully now. My gaze goes straight outward, staring at the curtain dividing the room. The ugly beige color so plain and dull. I can't help but blink several times against the medication that's wanting to relax me through this all. I unbundle myself momentarily and move my hand under the pillow to make myself more comfortable. I don't want to face Tyren just yet. How can I? What do I say to someone who saved my life? Who gave me breath when I didn't have any? I sigh. "Wasn't this the room you were in?" I hear the second voice. Immediately, my memory is telling me who this secondary voice is conversating with Tyren. The person I remember that got into the back of the emergency vehicle. They both seems alright, so I don't understand why they were with me? What confuses me even more is that I can't fully remember when or if Matthew was present at the time. It's just simply a blurr. My hand pushes against the bed and I turn slowly and hesitantly. The movements jarring my body, causing me pain in every which way. As I turn to meet with Tyren's gaze, I , instead, find Max's eyes first. I lower my gaze within an instant and hold my breath for only a moment before the need for air hits me quickly. I look over to Tyren. "Vy... had said you saved me." I clear my throat and continue. "Thank you..." I rub my cheek against the bed very lightly before coming to terms with the other person sitting here beside my bed. His gaze, I can't comprehend. I dont know what that look means at all. Guilt seems to ride up within me pretty quickly, among other things. "Max." I swallow hard. When I walked out on him, my words came out so clear and fast and without regret. Now, I regret what I said. What I had done to him. He assumed we were going to be an item. He never knew that Matthew and I had gotten back together. I embarrassed him that day. I refused the gift. I refused his companionship. I refused him. Yet, he came when I called. Why did he do that? "You came. I'll never be able to thank you enough." Now's the hard part. Now, I have to apologize to him. I have no clue if he'll accept it, but there's a good posibility, right? He came when I called for help. He showed up when it really counted. Max can't really hold it against me in the end... or can he? "...I'm sorry, Max. I'm really sorry. I never meant to..." I'm falling apart inside. I'm trying to save whatever chance there might be between us, if there is a chance of saving it at all. template by chelsey

[Anatra]

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Max ORCA

---

Seeing Kyanite in a difficult state like this isn't something even I can just brush off. It has an effect, and it digs deep to stab me. To hear her voice, it's difficult. All I keep remembering is the element to her voice, back then, that had nothing to be sorry for. No mercy with how she dealt the final blow. There was no sympathy in her voice, just a coldness that I can't shake from her words now.
When I left that cafe, embarrassed to say the least, I walked straight back to that shop and got the money I had spent. There was only one place that I thought would help me that night, and it was the bar. The usual place. I went with some friends, and hid under the excuse that I wanted to meet up with them since it had been a while. That's where that money went, down the drain. Along with the hopes of a relationship with this girl, who now lays somewhat broken in front of me, and Tyren.

"Vy... had said you saved me." I look at the floor. It was enough for one of us to save Gala, the little girl who's name I read from the folders, but for another to save Kyanite? I heard about how he saved her, as well. Nobody should ever have to do that. I want to sit down and talk with him, make sure he knows I'm here if he needs a hand getting over it, but he seems to independant recently. So in touch with his capabilities. Except the knock he suffered today. That wasn't his choice, though. To be affected by the drugs like that, it's just bad luck.
When I look at his face, to check the nature of his reaction to her words, which are coming from wavering lips, I see a subtle smile that I sense to have weight on it. As though it was forced simply. She clears her throat, and there's a glint in his eye that tells me why it was a forced smile. I don't think he knows how to react to this, being thanked in such a way. I think he's had to do all the thanking for a long time. Only now is he getting some in return for his own actions. "Thank you..." She says. He nods, looking down. I don't know why he's embarrassed... Though I can relate to the first time I spoke to the first person I saved. Grateful is never enough to describe their emotions. It's their life they are thanking for, not just an act of kindness. I don't think Tyren understands fully how much he has helped. Maybe he's just thinking it was duty.
It wasn't for him, it was for me.

"Max." She speaks at me. I bite my tongue. I don't know what to say in response to anything she might have to offer. I'm not prepared at all. "You came. I'll never be able to thank you enough." I can't help but notice how I am being thanked more than Tyren is. It's not something I wanted to notice, nor something I will point out to her, but it is telling as to how grateful she is for each. "...I'm sorry, Max. I'm really sorry. I never meant to..."

Never meant to what? I can think of a lot that could end that sentence. ...Involve you in all of this, is one. ...Steal your heart and keep it from you, is two. ...Lead you on, then drop you, is three. I shouldn't get this angry at an injured girl. It's rude, inappropriate. Matthew could forgive Tyren and vice versa. I should take a leave out of their books. "I told you about being sorry." I remind her, a sympathy to my voice. I leave her with that. I don't want to say anything I will regret later on.

Tyren is quick to take words from me, thankfully. "Do you need anything, Kya?" He speaks, and I hear Kya distinctively. Where did he pick that up from? Me? Will she know that Tyren and I talked after his birthday, about how I met her? I hope she doesn't realize. It would make me look a little... sour. I didn't speak badly about her. Just about the situation, that I hit Matthew because of what he was saying about Tara, among other reasons. I had to tell Tyren, at least. It lead me to talk about her. I couldn't help myself, I was like a boy with a crush. Hell, I was.
The fact is, I called her that because I fancied her. Shortening somebody's name has a lot of psychology behind it, I think. It shows you want them to acknowledge a mutual understanding of one and other. It is telling as to how he values her. As a friend, as more? I don't know. His intentions, as always, aren't clear to me.

The answer to his question is simple though. Yes, she does need something. Unfortunately, it isn't either of us. It's Matthew and Gala's safety. Something him and I have both seen to maintain. Until Matthew ran into that building again... With Alex. I don't know how I feel about him putting Alex in danger like that. Alex always had a choice to go back in... I don't know why he wouldn't, but he had a choice.
Tyren takes a drink of his can, and it makes me really quite thirsty. I haven't had a drink since this whole event. I hold my hand out to Tyren jokingly, wanting the can quite clearly. He moves it near my hand, but teases me with "Nah." Shaking his head with a shake of his other finger. I give him a bit of a glare, rolling my eyes playfully. I stand, and I notice again how tall I am in comparison to him. He's 5"7, I'm 5"11. It's a considerable difference, but not huge. He begins to hold it out again, but doesn't exactly the same thing. "Nah." with a shake of his other finger. I move straight for him but he turns around and I end up wrapping my arms around his back, reaching for the can. I feel wrong, simply because he has that awful scar on his back that although I cannot see, I wish didn't exist. I don't want to hurt him, because he still looks broken to me. I get a hold of the can quickly, even though he's quite strong he was going to give it to me anyway, he was smiling the whole time. "Mine..." I jokingly say, pretending to drink from it. He nods with a roll of his own eyes, dismissing me with his hand in a gesture. "Yours..." He sighs, clearly not annoyed at all though. I give him an approving nod, and down a considerable amount before giving it back to him. "Thanks." I say.

I love how casual him and I can be. If only we could go... say... camping? Maybe we could even take the rest?

What a good idea.

[*]

KYANITE R U Z E D I S T R I C T T W O

◼ Ⅱ ▸ What's happening in my mind is wanting to just scramble everything up into one little section and then divide it out again, only some of the missing peices I'm looking for, I can't seem to locate. Today, the missing peices have nothing to do with Max. I remember everything so clearly. Even though, he's not said a word to me yet, I think that I have ultimately screwed up what could have been some sort of relationship, even if it was only friendship. However, I don't know what I would have done if he'd walked out on me. Surely, that would have broken me. It would have done more damage to have yet a third man to give me that subconscious feeling as if I wasn't worth anything. That's why I walked first. The only question about it remains is that it might not have been the right choice. I should have stayed and talked to him. It might have all worked out but I was stubborn and didn't want to be hurt, so in turn, I did the hurting. I turned on him. I left him sitting there, bewildered and confused. Does it show on his face if I hurt him? If it does, I can't see it. Why would he be here if he didn't want to be. Is he here only because of Tyren? Maybe Tyren coaxed him to come see me, maybe? He has got to have another reason for even listening to my phone call. For picking it up. I did make the wrong choice. I did the ultimate wrong by thinking he was like Jins. There is no one any worse than that man who caused all of this to happen. "I told you about being sorry." The only thing I remember about that phrase was that his reply was 'don't be'. Though, he said that after I gave disappointing news to him about not taking the gift and being back together with Matthew. Again, his voice sounds different from that time. What is it? Does he feel sorry for me? Is he disappointed now? My mouth draws to a close, then nerves bunching around the outter edges. Words are not my friend right now. Words used to be the one thing that would pour out of my mouth like a waterfall and just say what would be on my mind. Now? Nothing, but an emotional pain is causing me to keep everything inside. "Do you need anytihng, Kya?" My name. Not only is it just my name, but it's the name that is shortened only by certain people. My brother for one. It's always been said like that for the longest time. Max, I think called me Kya. Regretably, Jins is also another that liked to use that name to get under my skin. Tyren's way about it has not a single ounce of hatred or anything bad connected to it. I feel it's just a nickname that is pure and laced with a different meaning. Friends? I give him a faint shake of my head from side to side. There's nothing at all that I need for myself. I could care less what happens to me. I'm more worried about how my mind won't rest. Not even with these drugs running through my system. They aren't helping. They are merely keeping me limber enough to just lay here. Though, when have I ever been down for long? Shouldn't I try to go see what has happened to my friend and boyfriend? My mind drifts off only to come back to Tyren and Max acting as though they were brothers. It's rather calming to see the way they don't act differently just because they are in here. They should be happy. They should be able to joke around with each other. They are not me. They are fine. "Max. Where. is Gala?" I find little volume in my words. Merely a hoarse whisper is all that manages to come out for some reason. I grimace as I swallow hard and try to speak yet again. "... is she okay. Please... don't tell me that.." It has to be the awful thoughts going through my head that make me suddenly need to see her. The thought that, deep down, I think she's dead is making me cough against the tight lump forming in my throat along with the burning sensation of fear and tears wanting to come about. I push against the bed as much as I can, but the strength against the drugs only get me so far. Half way from the bed, and halfway up, I'm stuck. My arm begins to shake and I can't sit the rest of the way up. "Help me. please... take me to go see her?" I finally look upwards and my eyes peer right into the eyes of Max. My vision wavers in front of me and becomes doubled. template by chelsey

[Anatra]

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Max ORCA

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To think that I am able to sit near this girl after what she said, whilst in a hospital of all places, I can safely say I am either insane or determined. What for? I constantly ask myself. The truth of the matter is, I don't know. I just have the gut feeling that doing wrong by her is stupid. I don't need to make enemies, and I don't mean to make ill with who otherwise could be my friends. She offered that to me, and I turned it down out of a pathetic form of jealousy. Was it jealousy? Or was I just being logical? I think the latter. If Matthew was to see me and Kyanite as friends, he would never trust that. It might eat away at their relationship, one which everyone knows will last if left undamaged. I didn't know that upon meeting Kyanite. I only knew the bare minimum. That he was somebody, and I was the current somebody. The more I think back on it, the easier I find myself blaming her for it all. But in reality, if I was a guy who'd just broken up with my date, and she had stumbled along, I would all too happily been keen to be nice. That's all she was, really. A peck on the cheek is hardly something to scream about. She probably seen the act of coming to Tyren and Alex's house to babysit as an act of kindness on her behalf. Visiting a friend.

The more I think about it, the simpler the situation really is.

I don't think I need to continue blaming this girl for how she feels. It's not right. She's completely fine. If I'm not a problem, she has less. So I won't be. It's not pretending, because I've talked myself into the truth, or at least my closest guess. It's not like she needs somebody looking out for her. She is strong, to me. I told her that, whether she believed it or not. Part of me wonders what Jins was wanting with her. It is a horrible distortion - that I don't know the truth of. It's like everybody else seems to know except for me. I will really need to ask Tyren about this... He must know, surely. He's close with their group. All of them in fact.

When I speak, it seems I cut her sails. She can't speak back at me. I hope she understands what I meant - that she doesn't have to apologize to me, not for how she was feeling. Maybe if I hadn't put her in such a position, I'd expect as much, but otherwise, no. When I hear Tyren say Kya, I can't help but notice the way he is looking at her. Is it sympathy, or is it something else? Where others might see friendship, I don't know what I'm seeing. I can tell straight away that it isn't that he fancies her, because he's more than confident when he wants that. It's something else. The kid doesn't have many friends... I've noticed that. Isolated to only a few. Or perhaps he secludes himself to a small amount for some other reason. I'm not sure. She shakes her head weakly at him. It does pain me to see her in a state such as this. I can't help but feel better about coming to terms how I feel about us being friends. There's a clear barrier between friendship and relationship, that's one thing that our previous encounters have taught us, I feel.

When I hand Tyren his drink back, I can't help but notice the scars on his next for the millionth time. Except now, it's much different. They don't look different - still a darker tone than his skin and a deadly spikiness to them. I wish they just weren't there. I wish he'd never stood foot in the pregames. But... Then I wouldn't have met Matthew, Kyanite and I wouldn't have been there to help them today.

That's it. That's why I've been tied into all this, surely.
I'm supposed to be here.

"Max. Where is Gala?" She asks, her voice waning drearily on the edge of anything close to normality. How am I supposed to answer her? I just don't know the answer to that question by any means. I know that she might be on this ward. Might. That's about it. "... is she okay. Please... don't tell me that.." That I didn't manage to save her life? I don't think I'd be here if I couldn't do even that. I wouldn't be able to face anybody after not being able to help her. There's a part of you that is instinct, whilst the rest deals with the aftermath that the instinct wrecks. It pushes through your consciousness like a clawed fist. I can't help but clarify, only to myself, that she is alright. That she is going to be alright, at least for now. I did my best, and my best got the approval of the paramedics at least. But they are only the legs that run faster than I. I couldn't do much else than what I did. I wrapped up her wounds and left her out to dry. That's the horrible truth because there's nothing you can do to a stained shirt except buy a new one, or stitch in a new portion of it. That's the unfortunate reality that I can't stop thinking about. Am I pessimistic to believe she wouldn't be the same? Yes, I am. But it comes with the job to ensure you aren't shocked by the probable outcome.

"She's going to be fine." I speak. I assume she knows that I helped her, so I don't bother with detailing it at all. I think I'm too modest. But suddenly, Tyren speaks up after giving me a look as though he would expect that from me. "Max got her out." I give him a bit of a glare, and open my own mouth to speak. "Tyren dove into the pool to save her." He narrows his eyes only for a brief moment, but the smile doesn't go away. It's almost as though the modesty is genetic, because we seem to share it. That explains how he could be so understanding about my own modest acts.

"Help me. please... take me to go see her?" She speaks again. This is after she's tried to get herself up. I can't help but be hesitant for a moment, Tyren's all too quick to make me look uncaring by being on the ball straight away. He goes to act as a crutch for her if she needs it, whilst I stand and offer her my hand... If only I didn't feel so bad doing that again. I hope she doesn't imagine this as the last time I did it... At the party. I offered her my hand, I think, and that's how we met. Maybe... we're meeting again?
Tyren backs off from helping after she's up, because he needs to get rid of the can in his hand. He squeezes on the can due to the emptiness, and suddenly throws it towards the bin which is right next to the door. I don't see where it lands, but I hear a gasp after a click of the door, and a hit of the can, somewhere. I see Tyren's eyes widen and the smile disappear. What comes from the doorway surprises me, it surprises Tyren. I smell it first. A mixture of the outside, and the next thing that comes into view. Flowers, blue and red. Whether they are meant to resemble arteries and veins, I don't know, but that's what I see, being a medical man. The face is small, but the hair is obvious. The moment I seen that, I knew exactly who it would be. It's Alba.

The last kind of person I was expecting to come through that door was this girl, my own little cousin Alba. She's sixteen, around mid sixteen actually. Which is important, apparently. She hasn't got her dyed hair anymore. Usually she would dye it some kind of red or dark brown, maybe even black colours or shades. But now, she has a nice lighter brown which is typical of us Orcas. Though I'm technically ineligible to say that, since I'm one of the few who don't have the super brown eyes and dominating dark brown hair. Instead, I have the light brown that Alba now has, and the blue eyes of my mother. That's a good thing, I'd say, but I have found myself always wanting brown eyes. But I learned not to want to fit in a while ago.
Alba walks forward, a little nervously, not overly though. Her dress sense is quite typical of girls like her - real careers with a twist. She's fierce, I can tell that and have always been able to, but there's a way to her, the walk and the talk, that just tells you she wouldn't make it five yards in the arena of the games. I hate to think such a thing, but it is the truth. She's not at all innocent, what Orca is? But she has a way of conducting herself that is reserved, but not in the tactically way. She likes to keep to herself, only going out on whims like this for important reasons, surely. She walks close to the bed, but not too close because she doesn't even know how welcome she is. She must be a complete stranger to Kyanite. "Alba." Tyren greets her with a hug, which just shows how sister-brother their relationship is. She is, I think, a core piece of his life. She's like a little sister... And I think every boy wants a little sister. I did, and I'm glad I have mine despite my inability to connect well with her. I think it's because I've moved out and she's still young, at fifteen. I'm not sure.

Alba squeezes hard with her hug, the flowers still in hand. I half expect tears, genuinely. I don't see any, but she's obviously heard about what has happened. "I came as soon as I heard. They were telling us not to go near. I tried, but they weren't messing around." She doesn't speak as though she is sad, hesitant or worried right now. She speaks with a little rasp behind her. I know where she's got that from... She likes her sarcasm, I remember that every time I see her. She constantly reminds people of it. It's a second language, and anybody who is anybody will flaunt a second language. "Kyanite, hi. We haven't met properly. I'm Alba Orca, Tyren and Max's cousin. I just came to make sure everyone is alright..." She speaks and I feel a little guilty, because I know that not everybody at all is alright. I think Alba's presence might even test the boundaries of Kyanite's patience. I know for a fact she wants to go, now. Maybe Tyren will take Alba elsewhere. Go and get a coffee or something. I hope so. Not because I want to be alone with Kyanite, but because then she's free to go without a crowd following her. Alba steps forward and places the flowers in a vase from the counter behind her. It's almost like they leave them out for people to just place flowers in all the time. Water already in it, and everything. She then puts it at the end of the bed, where there's a little side-table-trolley kind of thing, which holds just that and a magazine that looks like nothing of true importance. "I didn't know whether to get red tulips or blue tulips... So I got both." Not because of the medical reasoning, then... I smile at her when she looks over, but she's already introducing herself to Kyanite by the time she even notices I'm in the room. I acknowledge her. I'm family, I don't need a greeting to know she means one.

I feel sorry for Kyanite. She can't get up to go whilst Alba is here. I look to Tyren whilst Alba's making her little introduction and he shares the exact same look as I do. Concern. I nod at him and he seems to understand exactly what I mean, though his method of luring her out isn't what I would have chosen. His idea is better. "Come on, Alba. We should go check on Alex." What happened to Alex? I thought he was alright, what could possibly be wrong with him? Is Tyren lying to get her away? "Alex?" She asks. "I seen him on the way in..." Her tone of voice sounds completely un-fooled. But Tyren wasn't fooling, it seems. "I know, lets go see if he's alright." That's actually a really compassionate thing to do. I didn't expect it of Tyren, but then... He is his twin. Tyren spoke to me before this whole thing happened about how him and Alex were drifting apart a little. Becoming less close and altogether distant. Not seeing eye to eye as much - Alex has been hanging around with his dad much more often. It's worrying to see them not getting along so well. It's tragic. You would expect them to be forever friends and always. But apparently there's different plans for him. He wants to be a peacekeeper after all. That's the price you pay. Friendships, loyalties. All of it, apparently. It is a shame, but maybe it's a chance for the pair of them to grow their own trees rather than branch from the same one.
"Oh, I see." Maybe Alba does see what we're trying to hint at. It's not obvious, but she's definitely perceptive. I doubt it, though. "Let's go then... I hope you get better soon, Kyanite..." She speaks, sympathy but through strength in her voice. A seriousness that is respectful of Kyanite's dignity. The Orcas are too sensitive. But I don't see anybody complaining.
Tyren steps forward towards Kyanite's bed and what I see him do assures me of all his intentions. He leans into her with arms open, but collects her for a hug that he's controlling. It's something sentimental, I think, to hug somebody. It shows that you're there, and you care. It allows you to embrace one and other in a distinct moment of togetherness that isn't related to deep feelings and complicated relationships... It's something to show he cares, and that he is going to be there for her. It's something he had when he was in hospital. I don't think anybody would be fully certain that this much caring is a good idea, especially when his best friend is her partner. But I don't think he is thinking that deeply about it. I think, perhaps, that he wants to help. He just wants to help, that's all it is. That's all it has been for all of today. He wanted to help by lying about the drugs to Matthew - standing up to his best friend over a cousin, me. Then he dove into that pool and collected Gala without thought. He chased after Matthew, not wanting him to get hurt. From there, I didn't see him until he pulled Matthew up from that building edge. That was the most heroic thing I've ever seen in person.

If Tyren ever got reaped... I would have no fears for him.
He is by far the most capable guardian I've seen, ever.
My cousin is my brother.

Tyren turns his heel after he leaves the closeness of Kyanite. I can see the seriousness in his face. He isn't taking any of this casually, or lightly. It's important to him how he treats his friends. Alba gives a faint smile that is half filled with a distaste for leaving so soon, after only just arriving. But she heads out with Tyren at her side. Now that the door closes, I feel as though I can be the friend that I want to be without having to be judged by those around me. It's a big deal to me, how and what they see. Now more than ever because of the events of the party. I hit Matthew. If anything, that just screams jealousy. It wasn't because of that though. He was taunting me with the idea of him being with my sister... I'm protective... What did he expect? He wanted a fight. He didn't give it back, though. That's because Kyanite seen. I stand again, and hold out a hand to Kyanite. Just like at the party.

"Come on. I'll take you where you need to go."

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KYANITE R U Z E D I S T R I C T T W O

◼ Ⅱ ▸ "Max. Where is Gala? Please... don't tell me that..." The most horrific thing runs through my mind. Gala is dead. Gala's small and fragile body lost a battle that was never hers to fight. It was meant for me all along. Not Matthew. Not Max. Not Gala. It was mine and mine alone, yet everyone band together to fight this one guy. For me? For the others? If none of the others were involved, would it have been that dire to assist? Pushing those thoughts from my head, I push against the bed and with Tyren's help and Max's hand, I get to a sitting position and I feel my head swim from the medication. I close my eyes for a second. I'm trying hard to get my world to quit spinning even though I am seeing nothing but the darkness. Words linger and take over my senses though with what Max said about Gala being okay. It starts going through my head; replaying it as though it was a recording. "She's going to be fine." Is she? She's going to be terrified of water. She's going to be scared to be hanging around me. Why would she even bother with having me as a friend and older sister figure if I'm the one who dragged her into all of this mess and pain. Just be association, she was harmed by the one person that brought me down. The one question that lingers in my head still, is if he hurt her as he hurt me? How long has he been brainwashing her with idea's of worthlessness? What about physical signs of pain? Bruises? Broken things? What has he done to her to make her never tell me who he truely was? "Max got her out." Got her out of the pool, right? Or did he get her out of the building and away from harm? I wish I knew more. I wish I could have stayed to watch if she was breathing or moving. I wish that Jin's hands hadn't of gotten around my body and pushed me against him. Against my will and away from the scene of the three men trying to save the one person I couldn't. "Tyren dove into the pool to save her." Such heroics Tyren risked to go after Gala. I barely remember it, but I didn't get to see the end result. All of them were there at the right moment. I don't know if Gala would have survived if they hadn't of gotten there right there at that exact moment. The exact second that Jins had dropped her into the water. Didn't something else happen? She fought from being dropped. Why was she so listless when I was being pulled away? Did the water fill her lungs? What happened though? I sit there with my legs still covered by the blankets, but sitting none the less. I draw one leg up toward my body, bending at the knee. I'm more stable that way. At least the swimming feeling and double vision starts to dimish when my request is given out to both Tyren and Max at that moment. I want to go see Gala. I don't care if I'm hooked up to the machines, I start to pull them off. The blood pressure cuff that's wrapped around my arm is pulled off and the little monitor on my finger is taken off. Tyren's there at my side as I do all of this, yet neither of them try to stop me. I'm too strong willed to see what's left of my friend. I'm dreading the moment I catch sight of her mangled body. I can only hope she don't feel pain. Max stands there so unsure of himself and I slowly pull my legs to the side of the bed. My fingers latch onto the blanket and pull it away, exposing my bare legs. It's weird, but only now do I realize that I'm no longer in civilian clothing. I've been changed into a hospital gown, of all things. How'd that happen? Was I that out of it that I never noticed? It must have been when the nurses were checking me over for wounds when I first came in. So strange. Why can't I remember? As I blink a few times, I look to both of the guys. Tyren goes to throw away the can in his hand. The crushing sound penetrates my ears and the sound seems to ring in my ears that horrible sound as I barely remember what happens next when his arms were around my neck and his voice was screaming. Then that sound. A heavy blood rushing sound as my world went black. The sound of the can hitting bottom and the click of the door startles me back into reality. I tremble slightly to the sound and the sight of the new person. My heart skips a beat only for one split second until I realize the females face in the doorway. I calm down. The next thing I see is the flowers, but I turn away because I'm sure that the girl is here for the two guys. I have no clue who she really is, and her face is only vaguely familiar, like something I might have seen only in a dream. The flowers, the two different colors, could represent the colors that the boys like the most, so I don't revel in the beauty that would otherwise pleasure me. I'm not sure why she's here in my room, unless it's just a fluke. I stay silent to the newcomer. I have no words to express to this new body in the room. Tyren is the first to really greet her by saying her name, then as I glance over, he gives her a hug. I'm not trying to be rude, in all honestly, but I'm just not in the mood to talk to those that have no idea what just happened. Maybe she knows? Maybe she doesn't, but she wasn't there when it happened, so is she goingto just expect to be told everything? What can she expect to find out here? Nothing from me. I don't know her well enough. She stands so close to the bed cause even without looking, I can feel that unwavering sense. The kind that makes your skin tingle when you know something is about to happen or when something is wrong. The racing heart for another one. Again, I turn to look at her as the hug goes on for longer than I expected. Family? I look to her brown hair and notice the similarities already between the two. They look like siblings in a way. My eyes follow an imaginary line over to Max, but he doesn't look identical as those two. What is the family realtions? "I came as soon as I heard. There were telling us not to go near..." The girl continues, her explaination of what she witnessed from the outside. Her tone though is anything but settling. Is it an attitude that I'm detecting? As if she wanted to be inside when all of that was going on. What's wrong with her? "Kyanite, hi. We haven't met properly. I'm Alba Orca..." Her introduction comes only after she's greeted her realtions instead of the person who occupies the room that she came into. I don't care, no, but I would like to have hidden my dignity before she wanted to just become all cozy in here. I feel exposed to her. Open. Like she can see my weaknesses as I sit here with my back to her and I pull at the strings on the back in order to keep them closed. Though, the gown doesn't reveal a thing. There is more fabric and it's less exposed than I expected. A moment later, I can't help but answer her, even if it is a little bit delayed. "Thank you, Alba." I half whisper out. My throat still feels swollen, and my voice still cracks no matter what I do. So, maybe my silence is a good thing for a few moments? It gives her enough time to start talking about the flowers that she brought in. The red and blue tulips, as she explains the ordeal, isn't for the boys afterall? They are for me and she shows off her sympathy for my situation by placing them in a conviently placed vase in the room. I keep watching her. Her every step and movement. I listen to her voice, so full of confidence. She isn't shy at all around someone she's never really met before. She seems nice enough. Then she just stands there. I feel like ages have passed by. I'm sitting here on the bed, my legs pulled over to the side and ready to stand, but the girl doesn't leave until Tyren suddenly asks her to go check on his brother with him. I'm not sure why all of a sudden this is occuring. Though, the question somehow strikes up something more serious. "Is Alex okay?" I mutter under my breath with no real question to really be heard. It's more of a question to myself. Then the girl, Alba, mentions that she just saw him when she came in. So, he had to be okay? Right? If so, then why is Tyren trying to get her to go with him? Is he trying to be nice or is something really wrong with Alex that I don't know? I'm completely lost as the girl simply states 'Oh, I see...'. The only problem is, that I don't; at least, not at this moment. She quickly adds on to that sentence as she wishes me well, and as much as I can muster, I give her a subtle head shake, and half of a painful grin. Bringing my lips upward in any sort of pleasure just doesn't seem right. Not now, but I won't deny the girl something in return when she was nice enough to bring me the flowers. Something truely unexpected occurs next. Before he leaves, Tyren comes back to my side and I figured he was going to help me stand against gravity, but his arms wrap around my body instead. The first instinct is to shove him away. There's just something inside of me that refuses to have a pair of hands to confine me, but I have to tell myself that it's only Tyren. He saved your life. Don't you dare shove him away. Afraid or not, he did nothing wrong to you. I feel his arms around me. His chest so close to my face, and instict kicks in and I instantly relax in his grip. I didn't realize how much I needed this. How much just a simple hug can do to someone. For a moment, I feel like I might start crying, but I push against it. I have to. I don't want him thinking I don't need this. Afterall, this is what is keeping me sane. A simple gesture of a caring heart. My hands lift upward without another moments notice, and it lightly touches his back to make the hug that much more personable. I return it back to him because I'm not sure what all he has seen or done. How selfish of me? I've been thinking of myself the whole time. What I did to cause this mess. What I want out of everyone. What I feel like when I want to go see someone. Now, I'm thinking from the other point of view. How is Tyren? Max? A whisper comes from my lips as the hug is uninterrupted. "If you need me... you have my ear." That's all I say before he pulls out of the embrace, leaving this chilling effect on my skin and on my nerves. I don't want him to leave, but he's mentioned going to his brother with Alba. That is going to leave Max and I together. The door is opened and their presence is gone and the door is latched once again. Silence rings out. Cold air begins pouring out of the vent, and I feel the cool air kissing my skin. It feel nice, but it creates the bumps over my skin instantly. I look over to Max. His attire has changed. Even in the hightened emotions and under the stressful situation, I can tell already that he's not wearing what I thought he was when I first saw him. Why would he change? Gala... The world seems to halt the moment that Max rises from the chair. He takes the two steps over to the bed where I'm resting my legs against the railing of the gurney and stops. I watch with a curious eye as he brings his hand out to me. This is so familiar. When he held his hand out for us to dance. Why did we ever have to meet like that? Under those circumstances of me being single and then Matthew coming back not long after that. Why did I have to hurt him in such a manner. He is a wonderful guy. But, I think he'll make an even better friend. He's already shown me that he can be. He's come to me. Thank you so much, Max. You didn't have to, but you did anyways. "Come on. I'll take you where you need to go." He states. His voice is so low and caring. He stands with a strong front and his hand, I know, will hold the amount of strength I seek to do what I have to do. I reach out and place my hand in his, wrapping my fingers around the back of his hand and using my other one, I push off from the bed. My legs feel week against my own weight. It feel like gravity is pulling me down entirely. My hand pushes against his hand for a moment, while my other hand reaches out for his other arm, and I stabilize myself. First with my stance, then my vision. A few deep breaths enter my lungs before I look up at him. "Do you know where Gala is?" I question him. I take the first step away from him, letting my hand not fall from his just yet. Does this mean, this first step is going to be the most partial to what's happened to me? The first steps after such an ordeal that has changed not only myself but the people around me? "Are you okay, Max?" Little phrases escape me. The next few steps are slow and scary. I go past the small sink just beside the door with the mirror attached to it as well. That's when I happen to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. The shock is mostly horrifying. I've never looked worse in my life, and Max is stayingn by my side through all of this. He's seen me at my best, now he's seen me when I've hit rock bottom. Already, my hand is going to smooth my hair and pulling it to one side, but that's forgotten the moment my eyes lay on my neck. The bruise is too noticible. It doesn't go far but straight in the middle. I turn my head away, clinching my eyes shut as I reach out for Max yet again, and take a step away and halt. "I don't know what to expect." I say it honestly and fearfully. If my appearance is this forboding, I don't dare think about Gala. What about Matthew though? He'll be my next destination, I'm sure, because I'm equally as worried as to why he hasn't shown up just yet. I pull at the door, turning the door handle and the light first hits my feet then works its way up. The whole scene of the hospital hallway sends these chills down my back and I lean heavily on the wall. "Just give me a second..." My gaze passes on to each nurse running around. The color of their clothes and the way their hair is pulled up neatly. All of it just seems to blurr together for a moment. "Will you see where Gala is, Max?" template by chelsey

[Anatra]

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Max

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Her breaths are shaky. Max can't help himself when he feels that strange guilt within him that makes him regret any bad thoughts about her prior to coming all this way. She grabs his hand, desperate seemingly, for support. Taking his other arm for ease of movement, she looks up at him and a weak smile that is half concerned litters his face. "Do you know where Gala is?" She asks him, wearily. His heart is heavy right now, and it's taking him to a place that he forgets to breathe. He swallows the dryness in his throat and answers her with a kindness. "I'll find out, don't worry." He says. There's something major about this that makes Max feel as though she is vulnerable. There's subtle tightness to the way he holds her hand for her. "Are you okay, Max?" She asks him. His face isn't showing the concern that he has for that. She should be concerned about herself, not him. He has seen this and more.
But she is right, he isn't exactly alright, right now. "I'm alright." He says with a calmness, not wanting to worry her at all. "It's shaken us, some more than others." He pauses, as she takes a few more steps. "But I worry, we will all be alright."

She takes another tenuous step, but she stops. She sees something, and when Max's eyes follow her glance, which turns into a stare, his concern is real. His face still doesn't show it. He won't allow himself to worry her any more than he has to, and that's not at all. She lowers her eyes to her own neck, and almost instantly it seems, she turns herself away. With a collecting, gentle sweep he takes her to his chest so she has something to console in. Somebody to hold. His heart is beating, it reminds him by pounding harder. "I don't know what to expect." She says. Max's thoughts chase around the one sentence that he cannot say. I know exactly what to expect. Because he does. He has seen the poor girl at her worst, Gala that is. The blood is still on that t-shirt that's in his locker. He'll need to burn that, or something. Imagine if anybody seen it?

She takes to the door, without a reply from Max. That's likely when she needs one most. She looks so fearful, so scared of what is going to happen, what has already happened. There is nothing that Max can bring himself to say. He can't lie to this girl. "Just give me a second..." She says as quickly, Max can see that she has been overwhelmed by the ward's contrasting business. "Will you see where Gala is, Max?" She pleads. He nods straight at her and releases his hold on her. "Sure." He says, a smoothness and a lowness to his voice.
He starts a walk down the hallway because he knows exactly where to go. He doesn't feel right, leaving Kyanite standing leaning on a wall for support. It feels as though he's leaving somebody hanging, off a cliff or at a dinner table in a cafe. He heads straight to the main desk, where Tyren, Alba and Alex are all talking to one of the desk workers whilst the other worker doesn't seem to have a patient or relative begging questions. "Is he going to be okay?" Max hears from a soft voice that's only going to be Tyren's, out of that group. There's a reply, but Max is too busy talking now, to hear it. "Hey, can you tell me where the small girl with the stab wound and concussion is?" He asks. "Gala." He adds. "Sure. Just down that hall, in room 029. On your right." He nods at her. "Thanks." He gets a brief glance from Alex, to whom he nods his head. Alba gives a brief smile and as Max turns to leave, Tyren only just notices him. Somebody on a mission rarely stops to talk, it seems.

"Just down here." He says, holding out his arm again to Kyanite.

[*]

KYANITE R U Z E D I S T R I C T T W O

◼ Ⅱ ▸ Is it horrible of me to think about Max in reference to what relationship we have right now? What kind of a relationship we could have had if not for me and Matthew getting back together just a few days prior to that one meeting? Would all of this be happening at all? Would Jins have come back after me? Would he have tried to hurt Gala or Matthew? Would those two have even came into the equation if it did? Life is almost like a tornado. Unpredictable. Unstable. The only thing you can be sure of is that after the damage that has been done, the sun will always shine right after, right? Picking up the peices after what happened though is the hardest, and I'm feeling every single bit of it right now. From my own inhabitions to why I was even brought back to life. The situation could have easily been changed. If Max had not answered the phone. If I had canceled the plans to meet with Gala and Liam No. Jins. Everything would have been different. Just changing one equation in this whole scenario could have saved everyone. Your life has been saved too many times. Even as a baby, you've always had people bringing you back to life. Kyanite. Are you even sure that living is what you're here for? Perhaps, there's a bigger purpose for your expanding lungs? The moment his fingers leave my hand and he's moving down the hallway, I feel nothing but emptiness; nothing. I feel void of life and hope. There's nothing but the will to see Gala right now that's keeping me afloat in this sea of guilt and anxiety. I press hard with my left shoulder against the wall as I watch Max go to nurses station down the hallway where I see the group of people standing, but my gaze is adverted away just as soon as I see them. I would prefer for them not to see me now. I don't want to look so helpless standing here, but I've got no choice. I can't seem to make my legs cooperate with me. They won't take the command to move. They won't quit shaking with the thoughts of what Gala is going to look like. Will she be awake or will she be sleeping? At least she is alive, right? Though, what kind of life can she still have when she's not even thirteen and already a death threat has been taken against her. In the games, yes, that's always a possibility, but she has the advantage while she's still living in the district. I turn my head into the wall, my nose touching the cold, crisp wall that I find as my support. My legs bend a little bit more threatening to let me fall when I hear him say something to me that tears me away from all my thoughts and keeps me from collasping down to the cold marble floor. He holds his hand out to me and coaxs me to where Gala's room is suppose to be. Slowly, I bring my hand out again, and bring my one arm to wrap around his firm one. A solid man that stands beside me where my father should be right now. Aren't fathers suppose to do that? Drop everything at the mention that his daughter was almost killed? That some guy had the audacity to mangle his daughter's friend and boyfriend? Where is my dad? The question comes out of nowhere from within. One hand on the handrail keeps me steady enough that when Max leads me to the room where Gala is in, I go back to that question I said before I left my room. I don't know what to expect. I still don't. Though, the longer I wait outside her door, the more it's going to haunt me. My fingers touch the door knob and I open it to reveal the half lit room, and my eyes fall upon the girl in the pristine white sheets. Her two arms are placed beside her, above the covers while the covers themselves, are pulled up past her chest. I quake in my footsteps. I literally feel nothing but this horrifying arctic chill come over my blood and bones. A small gasping noise escapes my mouth as I turn to look to Max. "She's so pale..." Another random phrase escapes. The hand that was being used on the handrails raise to my lips to conceal any more noises that might escape me. I halt my breaths purposely. Is it possible to wake the dead? If in fact she was, I wouldn't be stareing off into her pale features and tiny face. Her long hair in semi-wet strings lay on the pillow to be soaked up into the cloth of the pillowcase. I pull away from Max slowly and take a few daring steps into the room even more. It's almost walking on a moving foot path. Only, with every step I take, I feel like the length between the bed and I gets pushed further away. Only until I have to place a hand on the wall, do I realize I've made the distance and I let my fingers explore the bed sheets near Gala's hand. A sob follows. My hand finally reaches her hand and I let my fingers and palm cover hers and I squeeze so gently. Her skin feels cold, yet warm. She doesn't move when I touch her, but I almost get the sense that her lips parted yet closed in almost the one second. My mind goes blank. My knees give out. I feel the momentum as I succumb to the overwhelming fact that Gala is laying there unconscious due to my wreckless and unfortunate behavior. My knees hit the ground, but I don't dare let go of her hand. A steady flow of sobs escape. "Gala? Please wake up. I'm so sorry." template by chelsey