Post by arya on Apr 19, 2014 14:50:16 GMT -5
Age: 17 year old
District/Area: District 1
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I am a winner. That’s what I am. That’s how I would describe myself, in the most simple way possible. I was born to be a winner, and I know that’s the way I am going to end. I was born in District one. So close, but yet so far away. I bet you all know what I am talking about, the capitol of course. The city of dreams. Oh I’m longing so until I get that sweet taste of victory, of success. Here, in district one, there are really just losers. The ones who was almost born with a silver spoon in their mouth. I am one of those kids. I never really needed anything. I grew up with my both of my parents, happily married and so on. Since I’m their only child, they have always focused every bit of energy on me. Yes, I lived a good life. I sincerely did. But how boring is that? I’m longing for adventure, for fame and for true wealth. I want to bath in my own luxuries, with the most beautiful partner of the capitol by my side. In the most beautiful house of all Panem, with my own spa, my personal designer. I want those beautiful, spoiled capitol-children, so beautiful and so unharmed. That’s how I shall live.
As you might have noticed by now, I’m kind of a dreamer. I spend most of my time thinking about how I want my life to be, instead of acting on it. Or with further consideration, I am on my way to fulfilling my dream. I’m going to participate in the Hungergames, and then I’m going to win. That will make me one of the most desirable women in all of Panem. With almost all of the other teens in district one, I am becoming a career. The thing is, I really think I have a chance of winning. I know I am absolutely gorgeous. Daddy tells me that all the time. I have this long, blonde hair, beautiful green eyes and I am skinny enough. At least I'm not fat. Of course, I have some minor imperfections. For instance, without my makeup, my skin can look kind of red-ish. But thanks to all of the great beauty products, I can make sure I look breathtaking all the time. That is practicularly the only thing my mother ever taught me, that I'll have to stay beautiful to win those games. I started practising walking heals and doing picture-worthy faces when I even started school. Naturally, there are some other things I’d like to fix about myself to, but that will all have to wait until I get to the capitol. I overheard some girls in my school saying my eyes are weirdly shaped and that I haven’t got any eyelashes, but I don’t mind haters so I didn’t listen. It’s too bad for them they can’t appreciate real beauty. Anyways, my point being that I think I can get a lot of sponsors. According to me, I have a wonderful personality to, but as daddy told me, I will have to work of first impressions. Sometimes, I just assume that everybody loves me as much as they should. That’s why I might come off a like I am bragging. Since I’ve been training to be a tribute for a long time, I really started managing weapons. At first, I had a real hard time using the heavy weapons. Or to be honest, I still have. I’m not really a lifter, I’m more of the limber, fast running kind of girl. I really learned managing knife-throwing really well, but close weapon encounters are still no favourite.
I really enjoy spending time by myself. It gives me time to think. Or actually, that’s a lie. I hate being by myself, but I have a real hard time getting new friends. Nobody seems to like me, even though I try my best to tone down talking about my best sides. I’m not really a people-person, with other words. I’d really love to be though. I’d love to be one of those girls who have long relationships and best friends they spend all their time with. To be honest, I’m kind of lonely. When I get new friends, or maybe a boyfriend, it mostly doesn’t take long before they leave me behind. Most of them come up with some stupid lie about growing apart, but I know the truth. They can’t stand me in the long run. Nobody can, except my parents of course. I love my parents, but sometimes I can hate them for raising me so isolated. As a child, I never got to play with the other children around the district. My parents were worried I catch some disease or learn some behavior they didn’t appreciate. Also, my dad taught me that having friends is unnecessary, when my time comes and I am in the arena, having friends is a weakness. Having allies is one thing, but no friends. Maybe make other dreams and the ones they picked out for me. Being a hungergames-champion, I mean. I know I want to be in the games and so on, but sometimes I wonder if my parents just programmed me to want it. Since they always taught me that it was the best thing for me, I never had the chance to make any other dreams. Thinking like that makes me really mad, and I can’t afford to be mad at my parents. After all, they are the only ones I got. Anyways, when I actually got to have friends for my parents, it was too late. I was already the social-awkward person I am today. The worst thing, I really tried to change. It’s so hard, just so hard.
When I have won the games, I think everybody is going to want to be my friends. Yes, everything will turn around if I win. That’s also why I have to win. Even if I wouldn’t like to be in the games, I can’t back down now. My parents would hate me, they probably wouldn’t ever speak to me again. I think they wanted to be in the games when they were young, but didn’t get reaped or didn’t afford the training or something. They didn’t enter, and I’d never dare asking them about it. We actually don’t talk that much, other than about my training. Well, needless to say we of course have interviews preparing for my big interview at Caesars game show. We had that every week since I learned to speak properly. Honest, I just wished this big mess was over so we could continue on living our lives as a regular family. I wish I at least had a sibling that I could relate to; maybe we could speak about boys and friends. I have a hard time focusing sometimes, that’s when I sway of like that. I try to stop it, swaying isn’t good. Especially in the games, then I have to stay focused at all times. Daddy gets mad when I sway of like that, so I try not to tell him about it. I have to keep my thoughts together.
Even if Daddy never would allow it, I secretly really want a boyfriend. Maybe he would have as silly thoughts as me. Then, just maybe we could lay in the grass, telling each other everything that came to mind. I’d tell him about the made-up friend I had when I was a kid, that my daddy prevented me from ever talking to. He said that made-up friends were for stupid children, and a focused child like me had to learn to deal with real life. I kept on talking to my friend when neither of them heard me, but I was so afraid I was going to get busted so I quit not long afterwards. I wish so badly somebody would want me around. But I haven’t got time for that. I need to focus on my dream. Just think about all the luxuries, the beautiful clothes and Panems biggest house. One day, I hope it all will be worth it. I rather enter the games and die then not enter at all. If I don't get the chance to win, I will be as much of a disappointment to my parents as themselves. I have to win. I just have to, or else I'll die in that arena. I have to. I am a winner. That’s what I am.
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