Being Alone isn't a Crime (Poco+A_Million_Arrows)

[Arrows]

I ' M U N L I K E T H E R E S T.

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L A P A S L U C I L L I A N
DISTRICT1 | SEVENTEEN | FEMALE

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I sit behind the front desk at the orphanage I work at and cradle a young little girl in my arms. She was only seven months old at most and yet her heartless parents had abandoned her here. I would never do this to my child, only the truly heartless could do something like this. I think to myself as I look at her sleeping soundly within my arms. "I won't let anyone hurt you anymore my darling." I whisper and kiss the girl on the head.

The woman who runs the orphanage, Caroline, walks in with the young nine year old Shean who was also new. I smile at him but he ducks behind Caroline when he sees me. Still severely shy, I tell myself, who can blame him though his parents left him when he was nine, talk about scarring. Caroline walks over to my side with Shean glued right to her the entire time not daring to cast a wayward glance my way. Caroline rests a hand on my shoulder then states quietly, "I can take Bailey your shift is over now." I nod, "Okay thank you." I hand her Bailey carefully so I don't wake her from her deep slumber. "I already fed her dinner by the way." I tell Caroline as I stand and put my red sweatshirt on. "Excellent thank you Lapas." She says and I smile then as I walk past them to the door I turn and say warmly "Goodnight Shean I will see you tomorrow." He doesn't respond but he does take a second to look at me. I turn and walk out the door into the crisp night.

I take a deep breath and breath out, sure enough I see my breath. Quite a chiller here in one and I thought Winter was suppose to be over by now. I walk quickly down the rich and well paved streets of the District One square and just as I turn the corner into the main area the large crowd there goes insane. I yelp as someone nearly slams into me through their celebration. What in the world is happening? Is the question I ask myself until I finally see over the crowd at the large televised projection. I see the tribute from district nine standing over the dead body of the girl from five surrounded by burning ash. No wonder they are celebrating the games have just ended. I grow slightly irritated with these people, how can they cheer so loud for someone when our two tributes have died in these games. I try to navigate my way through the crowd of wavering people but I get lost and disorientated. That's when someone slams into me sending me falling onto the ground. What the hell was that!

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template by chelsey

[arya]

As I was sitting in my room, brushing my hair and minding my own business, out of nowhere my father stormed in. He was almost jumping with excitement and judging by what time of the games it was, this could only mean one thing.
“Is.. it time?” I asked, even if I already knew the answer. There were only two times each year my dad were this excited about something. The first was the reaping, but I already knew it wasn’t that, so that leaves out one thing, the finale. Our family ritual was the same every year, we, along with many other families from our district went down to the town square.
“Get ready, quick now Nico” he yelled and slammed the door together. I turned over to the mirror standing leaning against the wall. I picked up a pair of black jeans that I threw on the bed the night before and after I got out of my sweatpants, I put them one. Together with a moss-green top, my black leatherjacket and my favorite fur hat, I at least thought I looked terrific. My parents were very accurate that I always looked my best, making one bad impression could harm my career, they say. Personally, I like to dress up sometimes but it’s not really that important, is it? I always try making my folks happy, so I might as well.

As we were walking down the street that lead up to the town square, my gaze got stuck in the sky. Tonight was that kind of night when the stars seemed to be shining a little bit lighter. I really enjoy those nights, so I felt a comfortable shiver. I embraced it and kept my eyes looking on those shiny little diamonds. Just as we entered the square, the only thing you could catch from the screen was that boy, Colgate from District 9 standing over that district 5 girls dead body. I’d never admit it if anybody asked me, but honestly the games make me feel kind of nauseous. I still want to enter though. Really, really badly. My dad shook his head in disappointment.
“We missed it.” Judging by his tone, this was not going to be a very pleasant night. He probably blamed me for missing his highlight of the year. As they announced the winner, he turned to me with that greedy look in his eyes. “Don’t worry Nico, you’ll get your moment on the big screen. Hopefully next year, right?” I just nodded in complete silence. Don't get me wrong, I don’t want to die, I'm not stupid. I really don’t want to die, but to be fair, I rather die in that arena than never get the chance to go there. My parents would abandon me if I refused and then I’d be completely alone. The thought of that was ever worse. Discomforted, I shrugged my shoulders together and turned my back on the screen. Just as I was about to exit the crowd, my dad bumped in to a blonde girl. She fell down and seemed to have hit the ground kind of hard. He just kept walking, as unpleasant as he many times behaved. With an ashamed look on my face, I turned to the blonde girl. I recognized her, maybe from school? She looked youu after all, around my age, I'd guess. Considering it, I'm absolutely sure I've seen here before. 
“I’m sorry, that was my dad, he can be kind of rude. I apologize on his behalf.. Are you hurt?” I stretched my arm towards her, in an offering to help her up.

[Arrows]

I ' M U N L I K E T H E R E S T.

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L A P A S L U C I L L I A N
DISTRICT1 | SEVENTEEN | FEMALE

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I hit the ground with a thud, however, it was just on my hip. It hurts of course but not horribly so I know I will be fine. I look up and see the man who knocked me to the ground walk away as if nothing happened. "Thanks!" I yell at him though I am sure he can't hear me. Then I see a hand reach down to help me up followed by a girls voice, " I'm sorry, that was my dad, he can be kind of rude. I apologize on his behalf.. Are you hurt?" As I grab her hand and get to my feet I get my first real look at her. I swear I have seen her before, school maybe, or possibly at the career training area when I go to get my brother.

I rush some of my tangled white hair out of my way then say calmly to her, "Yes I'm alright and I am sure your father didn't mean to so there is no need to apologize." I look closer at this girl and I can almost swear I have seen her before. Finally I give into my temptations, "Do I know you from somewhere? School, perhaps? I am Lapas Lucillian by the way since I might as well tell you my name too." I can see the crowd getting more and more riled up as the celebration grows. My nerves slowly begin to build yet I can't draw myself to flee since I really want to know this girl's name.

Instead of fleeing the raging crowd I choose to fight my nerves off and stay here. I push my hands into my sweatshirt pockets and ball them into fists to help stay calm. I also focus on the girl only and not the crowd. They won't hurt you, they won't hurt you, I repeat to myself deep in my head as more people swarm into the square.

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template by chelsey

[arya]

Without even noticing it, I let my lips break out in one of those over enthusiastic smiles. That was kind of my thing, being overly excited about anybody even bothering to talk to me. People didn't do that too often, since I was considered to be one of those weird people that couldn't really handle other humanbeings at school. A dork, with other words. Ashamed of my own behavior, I shyly turned my gaze down to the ground.

"Yes I'm alright and I am sure your father didn't mean to so there is no need to apologize." She said, I just smiled and nodded. He probably didn't mean to push her over, she was right, but he could at least have apologized. Sometimes he could be so rude, and it often made me feel very ashamed and put both of us in tricky situations. "Probably not.. But since he didn't have the sense to apologize I felt I had to do it for him" I smiled again, but this time a little bit toned down. Don't seem to eager now, Nicco, I told myself. "Do I know you from somewhere? School, perhaps? I am Lapas Lucillian by the way since I might as well tell you my name too." That girl recognized me? That wasn't really a good sign, being me. Most gossip going around wasn't really about what a wonderful person I was. As a vague feeling of discomfort hit me, I tried to hide it by looking up in her ice blue eyes. They were sincerly breathtaking.

Lucillian, I knew that name from somewhere. "Nice to meet you, I'm Nicolette Berry. But please, just call me Nico. Lucillian was it? Do you have any siblings?" As those words slipped out of my mouth, I remembered from where. A boy in the trainingcenter. Yes, I could even remember his face. "Your brother is a career right? I think I've seen you down at the training center?" Even if the last sentence was meant more as a statement, it came out as a question. She seemed kind of uncomfortable, eyeing around the crowds. As I turned my gaze over my shoulder to see what was going on, my mother came towards us. "Nico, are you coming home?" She asked, smiling towards Lupas. "Hi, I'm Nicos mother" Me and her are pretty much identical. Accept for my blue eyes, most of my genetics are inherited from my mother. I shook my head, "I think I might stick around for a while" Maybe Lupas thought I was being awkward now? Not leaving.. Maybe I should have said yes. My mother smiled politely. "It was nice meeting you" she nodded towards Lupas before she walked away. I turned to Lupas again, "are you here for the big celebration?"

[Arrows]

I ' M U N L I K E T H E R E S T.

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L A P A S L U C I L L I A N
DISTRICT1 | SEVENTEEN | FEMALE

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The girl smiles very brightly at me which helps make parts of my nerves die down. "I'm Nicolette Berry." I catch her say and I know for a fact that I have heard the name before. Just as I begin trying to unravel from where I have heard her name before she says, "Your brother is a career right? I think I've seen him at training before." That's it! She is a fellow career with my brother and now that I think about it I remember always seeing her in the group of kids who leave after training. I snap out of my trance after realizing I haven't responded to her. "Oh yes he is he has been training for several years now."

I brush several strands of my white hair out of the way and smile when I see an older woman who looks like Nicolette walk up behind her and ask is she is coming home yet. I dip my head slightly in hello to her before Nicolette tells her she is staying a bit longer and she leaves. "So are you here for the big celebration?" She asks and I tense ever so slightly. She means the end of the games just like everyone else in the district would be asking.I don't want to say no way since the games absolutely disgust me so instead I smile and shrug. "Actually I was on my way home when I got swept into the celebration so in a way yes that is why I am here." I laugh slightly at myself knowing how idiotic I must sound.

I decide to change the subject to avoid further awkwardness between us. "So are you here for the big celebration as well?" I shuffle my feet as I wait for a reply and make sure to do everything in my power to not focus on the rioting, celebratory crowd I am in.

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template by chelsey

[arya]

With those idiotic butterflies flying around in my stomach, I felt even more stupid than I actually acted like. I'm a pro at over-analyzing, and talking to potential friends always made me weirdly nervous. Maybe because I never had any, or because I was constantly worried to say something stupid. I let my hand slip through my hair, combing it through with the tips of my fingers. My blonde hair started getting pretty messy by now, telling me it was time for a wash. 

"Actually I was on my way home when I got swept into the celebration so in a way yes that is why I am here." I felt kind of bad for her, getting home in a night like this wasn't always the easiest task. Especially not when rude old men like my father was around. I didn't really like those nights on the square, if I wasn't in the right mode. It always got way to crowded. If you felt like leaving, that was an almost impossible mission. I never liked being to close to people I don't know either, which made it way more uncomfortable than it could have been "So are you here for the big celebration as well?" she asked me. Even if I didn't really mean to stay at the after-party, I guess I was. "Yeah, my father is kind of a games-fanatic. He insists on going here every year. It's kind of his favourite thing. I guess thats why he wants me in the game so badly" Judging by the tone of my voice, I sounded really unhappy about it. "Of course its our dream. I meant my dream to ehm.." I fell quiet, which made it all a whole lot more awkward. I felt the need to correct myself, but I made it even worse. "Enter the game of course" I filled in, just after a few seconds of silence. A few long seconds. With a nervous smile on my face, I shrugged my shoulders together like I always do when I feel like I did something wrong. She must think I'm stupid now. I would have.

"Oh, excuse me for keeping you on your way home" I tried smoothing over my weird outburst. I hated it when I didn't think things through before I said them. But it wasn't that bad, right? Maybe she didn't even understand what I meant by it. I corrected my fur hat fastly on my head, mostly to keep my finger busy for a little while. I started acting that crazy again, the reason why nobody wanted to be friends with me in the first place. Problem with handling social contacts. Thats how they expressed it, in a nice and sensitive way. Totally awkward and weird, was the term I heard more often. I try ignoring it, I don't mind haters, as I always say. The freezing out part gets to me though, it's a lot harder to handle than the insults. 

[Arrows]

I ' M U N L I K E T H E R E S T.

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L A P A S L U C I L L I A N
DISTRICT1 | SEVENTEEN | FEMALE

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I smile and wrap my arms around me to help keep the warmth in. It may be Spring but it sure does still feel like winter. Part of me wonders if maybe it's the world reacting to the Hunger Games. Maybe the world agrees with me that the games are awful and cruel. I mean the whole concept is abusing children for their ancestor's ideals. Sometimes I wish I wasn't born into this life because of this in all honestly I hate the Capitol. The only reason I put up with them is they keep my father's wealth secure so I get to keep my riches as well.

"Oh, excuse my for keeping you on your way home." I hear her say but I laugh and shake my head. "Oh no it's fine I don't really need to rush home. Plus I am enjoying this conversation." I can't just end it their I have to follow up with something. Something everyone can relate to here. Then my mind hits it, "So since you are training do you plan on, well you know, entering the games at some point?" I let out a subtle sigh now that I have stopped the whole thing from turning sour.

As I await her response something catches my eye and I stand taller to see. Sure enough I was right, I see my brother with his friends celebrating. So he ditched me for this? Suddenly I realize I must look bizarre and I lower myself to my normal height. "I'm sorry I just thought I saw someone." I apologize to her, good job way to not freak her out Lapas, I scold myself.

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template by chelsey

[arya]

" I hear her say but I laugh and shake my head. "Oh no it's fine I don't really need to rush home. Plus I am enjoying this conversation." She said. Wow, so somebody actually enjoyed my company? I couldn't help letting that get to me. Doing my super ridiculous once again, I just nodded. "Good, good, me to" I just answered, trying to sound kind of casual. Not noncharlant, just casual.

I let my eyes take a fast look up on the sky. Those shining little diamonds hadn't gone away yet. Not really that I expected them to. Today sure was a starful day. Every time somebody around me died when I was a kind, my mother used to tell me that they've all become stars. That seems like something you tell children right? Who am I to judge theory, since I don't know anything about what happends after death. Though highly unlikely, maybe kid who went to the games had become a star by now? Maybe my grandparents and my uncle was up there too? Or it was just something you tell children, to comfort them when they lost their pet rabbit, like I had done when my mother first told me about the stars. It didn't really matter, but they've always fascinated me. I was starting to sway of again, as I always do. I had to learn keeping my head together. Focus.

"So since you are training do you plan on, well you know, entering the games at some point?" As my brain had gotten stuck on stars, I felt a little bit lost as I was about to answer her question. Just as I was about to open my mouth, I realized I hadn't thought about anything to tell her. "Uh.. Yes.. I guess so. Or i meant at some point yes. Thats what its all for right? Yeah and dad tells me I have to enter next year. Which make sense, because I'm seventeen" Remaining lost in my fantasy world was my when I made my biggest misstakes. Sometimes I bursted out scrappy sentences, with just random words totally of subject. At times, that could create tense situations. But Lupas seemed really nice and open minded, I had to say. Not as shallowminded as many of the district one kids i meet this far. "I'm sorry if this seems a little weird, but would you maybe want to hang out someday?" I asked her, just realizing how childish I sounded, I tried to stay cool. I combed my hair out with my fingertips once again. A great occupation when you're nervous, according to me at least.

[Arrows]

I ' M U N L I K E T H E R E S T.

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L A P A S L U C I L L I A N
DISTRICT1 | SEVENTEEN | FEMALE

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I watch intrigued as she gazes very intently at the stars as if something magical is happening. "Uh.. Yes.. I guess so. Or i ment at some point yes. That's what its all for right? Yeah and dad tells me I have to enter next year. Which make sense, because I'm seventeen" She says in response to my question. "Oh neat well then I wish you the best of luck when that day comes." I shift my feet awkwardly since I despise talking about the games and this girl wants nothing more but to be in them, or at least she seems that way.

"I'm sorry if this seems a little weird, but would you maybe want to hang out someday?" I look up when I hear her ask me the question and I smile. I giggle, "It's okay it's not weird by any means and of course I would love to hang out with you sometime." I curl some of my hair around my finger thinking about when I could hang out again then I perk up as I think of one. "How about tomorrow about midday in the small tree grove by the fence?" I stand still other than the occasional twist of my hair awaiting her answer. I am both nervous and excited for there is something about her that intrigues me. She is my opposite when it comes to the Games and violence but she has a similar mindset other than that.

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template by chelsey

[arya]

"Oh neat well then I wish you the best of luck when that day comes." Lupas told me. Best of luck in not dying. Yes, maybe I would need that luck a hell of a lot. It felt a little bit weird, being wished luck in killing people, but I guess that was what I wanted, and were working for. As I had been, my entire life. To late to back out now. "Yeah, sure do hope I have that luck with me" I said, without really thinking about it. I got that swayish voice tune that I always get when I get caught up in my own mind. I do that a lot, and sometimes people think it makes me seem stupid which I'm not. My dad think so. Other think I'm thinking about some important buisness, which I'm not either. It's not that I'm not listening, because I am, most of the time. I just have a hard time focusing sometimes.

"It's okay it's not weird by any means and of course I would love to hang out with you sometime." Wow, she actually didn't say no. This particular moment, I got so excited I could barely stay still. But I couldn't begin dancing either. That would freak her out. If she didn't get freaked out by that, then she would be freaking me out. So I just smiled my overly excited smile once again and nodded. "Cool" Did that seem casual? Maybe to casual? Why was I over analyzing again. She wanted to hang out. Cool. "How about tomorrow about midday in the small tree grove by the fence?" She asked. I pretended to think about it for a moment, so it didn't become as obvious that I didn't have any friends, or anything to do ever. "Sounds good to me"

"I think I maybe should be getting home?" That sounded like a question. It wasn't meant to be that way. "It's getting kind of dark and you never know which people are out" I felt I had to explain myself, but now I sounded like a coward instead. I wanted to enter the game, still I couldn't be out after bed time. Nico, you're embarrassing yourself. "Which direction do you live? My house is that way" I pointed to the left gate out of the square. "Can we take company or..?"

[Arrows]

I ' M U N L I K E T H E R E S T.

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L A P A S L U C I L L I A N
DISTRICT1 | SEVENTEEN | FEMALE

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"Cool. Sounds good to me." She says to me and I smile widely, possibly to widely. I don't want to seem like a freak by having a spooky smile so I tone it down slightly. "I think maybe we should be getting home? It's getting dark and you never know which people are out." she says to me. In fact I was just thinking about that I am glad she brought it up first so I didn't have to pop the question. "Which direction do you live? My house is that way." I hear her say then see her pointing to the left gate and I grow slightly excited cause my house is that way too.

I smile "Oh good looks like we both happen to live in the same direction so we can walk home together." I instantly regret saying that. It sounded so stupid what if she doesn't want to walk home with me and I just made it way more awkward. I brush hair out of my face like I always do when I am nervous then say "You know if you would like to of course."

Feeling like a complete and utter fool I look away and through the crowd to see if I can spot my brother. I think I see him several times but none are him and I eventually give up. I turn my attention back to her, however, I don't make direct eye contact whoch is probably making me seem even more weird. Ugh, being normal is harder than I thought especially when you are trying to be.

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template by chelsey

[arya]

"

You know if you would like to of course."  Lupas added. Yeah of course I did. This was the first time in years anybody even bothered to talk to me, but I couldn't be that obivous. I hated the sneakiness I always thought I needed in social situations, but I just didn't want her to know how weird I really were. I think she probably would hide from me forever if she knew what kind of psycho-hungergames machine I actually am. Honestly, I don't want anybody to know thats why I'm so messed up. But, in fact, she seemed a little bit nervous to. I don't know if it's me thats making her feel uncomfortable, or if she also was hiding something. I nodded and smiled to her, a little bit encouraging. If she was like me in anyway, a smile could make the difference between nervous breakdown and feeling rather confident. "Oh! What an coincidence. I'm suprised we havn't runned into eachother earlier. Maybe we live far apart though"

I started walking in the direction of both of our houses, not to fast but not to slow either. I think. Normal tempo. I could barely wait until tomorrow, she actually wanted to hang out! I never would have thought that that stupid finale game actually could lead to a new friendship. Or potential friendship, lets not jump to conclusions. But this girl truely seemed interesting. Something about her just caught my attention, and honestly that isn't very common. I don't get along with other people so well, I wish I did but, I guess you can't have everything. I mean, I have other talents. I'm great at knifethrowing, for instance. I don't look to bad either. I also make an excellent treeclimber. Who cares though right? Someday somebody will. When I'm in the games it will matter. But to have my entire life build around something that may not even happend feels unsatisfying somehow. I might not have won the biggest price on lifes lottery, but I sure as hell didn't get the blank one either. 

[Arrows]

L A P A S

L U C I L L I A N

D 1

"Oh! What an coincidence. I'm suprised we havn't runned into eachother earlier. Maybe we live far apart though" She says to me and I nod. "That or maybe we live really close and we just haven't noticed." I laugh at myself. It is possible considering how often I keep myself locked away in my house I mean I couldn't even name ten of my neighbors. I mean lets see, there is Frank, Nora, Aaron, Cassie, Richard, and um.. Nick? Oh it doesn't matter I don't think anyone of them like me anyway so why should I know their names? I snap out of my rambling trance to see Nico already walking towards the left gate. "Oh woops wait for me!" I holler jokingly as I jog to catch up with her.

I walk with her out of the left gate from the district square and look up at the sky. It truly is mesmerizing all the stars and the moon shining so brightly with the little light contrast from the houses around us. It takes me awhile to snap myself out of it and I look at the houses around us all wealthy since we are in the wealthy part of the district. She must be wealthy then I tell myself as we continue to trudge on. Deciding it has been quiet to long I break it, "So let's see whats a good question to ask someone." I think for a moment then decide something simply, "Okay I have one, what's your family like? Mine is pretty crazy since my dad is never around because he works in the Capitol. My mom for some reason hates me and my siblings. My younger brother, you know is training to be a career. As for my little sister I practically raise her cause my mom could careless." I realize I have basically told her my life story which could be kind of weird. I clear my through and brush my hair out of my face like I always do when I am nervous or embarrassed. "Oh I'm sorry, I'm sure you don't really care about my life and I asked you the question anyway." I laugh shallowly but scold myself in my head for making it about me.

[arya]

"
Nicolette "Nico" Berry 

"Yeah, maybe that's it" I laughted heartly, and correct the furhat placed on top of my head. As I walk I'm staring down on the ground, not because I'm unfortable, I just do that when I walk. On the ground, I could see little ants fleeing my feet, terrified of being crushed. It was kind of like when one of those small children from the lower districts got hunted for in the game. Even though I'm all for the game, nobody enjoys watching small innocent children die. Maybe some did, but I at least didn't. It was one thing with the careers that choose to be there, but those small children always brooke my heart. Maybe somehow, its good that we have careers. We are willing to die, and most often takes the place of somebody who wouldn't want to be there.

She begins telling me about her family, and I listen with all my attention. To have her opening up like that meant a lot to me. That meant we were actually friends right? I just shook my head against her story and gave her a sympathic smile. "It sucks that your mother treats you like that. Your sister must be lucky to have you" I wasn't really that good at comforting people, but I tried my best. "No not at all, of course I care!" She actually seemed as insecure as me by now, always feeling a need to explain herself. That made me feel kind of relived. Maybe I didn't have to fake everything and always be super aware of everything I said. "Ehum, it's not as interesting as your story.. I'm an only child, and my parents pretty much raised me to be a hungergames machine. That's pretty much why they love me. I was training even before I entered the trainig center. My dad freaks out on me as fast as I do anything that won't gain me anything in my career. For instance, I never had friends as a child so I wouldn't learn inappropriate behavior. I never had candy either, that would make me gain weight and I can't affort to be fat." I smiled against her, realizing what I just said about my own parents didn't sound that good. "But I mean, they love me right.. So thats good. As long as I win the game, or at least die in them everything is going to be good." I tried to smooth things over. But it sounded kind of weird. I got extremly nevous. How could I be saying these horrible horrible things about my own parents. "I have it good. Nothing to complain about.." I smiled nervously against her, trying to smooth over my little outburst.

[Arrows]

L A P A S

L U C I L L I A N

D 1

I listen very intently as she tells me about her family and I grow very fascinated. Her family revolves so fully around the Huger Games while my family, except my brother, could care less. It is so interesting how two families within the same district can be so different. Life is so different and odd its exciting to think about, well at least for me that is. I suddenly realize I have been staring straight ahead lost in my own train of thought. I figure I should say something so that this doesn't get to that awkward silence stage.

I brush some of my hair out of my face then decide to ask her another typically basic question. "So what are some of your favorite things to do?" This time I make sure to stop myself from answering my own question. Instead I smile at her and keep walking. I make sure to keep an eye on the street names since I know my street is coming up soon. I get a feeling of sadness welling up in me at the thought of having to depart ways. I don't know why but I enjoy hanging out with Nico she is the first friend I have ever had.