Leave my family out of it(Certer)

[Sage]

I am a monster. Do you want to know why I am a monster and why you should never let me in? It's becaue I'm a killer, a girl trained from a young age to take lives and snuff them out without the victims consent. I am a murderer, the blood that stains my hands will never come off me, instead, it marks me as an executioner. I didn't ask for this life but it's the only option I have, the people making me do this the only family I have left.

When I was barely a year old, my parents decided they didn't want me and so, they gave me up to my uncle, Snake, who began teaching me how to kill around the age of seven when he made me kill my first rat. The experience frightened the little girl I was back then and I cried for a week. After the week, my uncle beat me, telling me I was weak, that I was a coward, those words hurt more than his blows. A few months later, he made me kill another rat, this time, I tried to keep the tears from my eyes as I squeezed the life out of the helpless creature. It made me sick that he was putting me through that at seven years of age.

By ten years of age, all the emotion I had once had had been beaten out of me until I was perfect, the perfect killing machine that my uncle had raised so carefully to be devoid of emotions but that machine is breaking. It's crumbling into pieces because of a boy, a boy who could bury the monster inside of me amd bring out a side of me that was gentler and sweeter but this boy could be the death of me. If my Uncle ever found out about him, he would take away everything I know and he would probably kill the boy. I don't know what I would do if that happened. You would become a monster again My conscious is correct in telling me this, of course if the monster raises its ugly head, the voice will cease. As a killer, I have no conscious and no sense that what I am doing is wrong but when I'm with him, he makes me feel things and I feel guilty when I kill. I don't quite know how to feel about it because having feelings can also allow me to fall in love and experience joy which I haven't felt since I was seven.

I am a Tornhell, a gang member and a girl who looks like she's ten. I swear, I stopped growing at like 12 years of age and my face still looks so innocent. Ha, I laugh at anyone who thinks I'm innocent. By twelve years of age, I'd seen more death than anyone my age really had a right to see and I had more scars than I cared to count. That was also around the time I started learning how to use a dagger, which was a gift from my uncle. I love my dagger because it is light and is a good way to defend myself. There are few things I love in the world and Caido is one of them.

My baby blue eyes scan the alleyway, searching for some sign that the boy I seek has been this way, he took off on me after a run in with my now ex-boyfriend in which I admitted that him and I were done for good. Apparently, I need to learn to watch my tongue, I forgot about the fact that I hadn't officially broken up with him and Mason thought I was cheating on him. I would never cheat on him, he meant too much to me and made me see that I wasn't just a monster, that I was a human being that felt things, that had the ability to be more than my Uncle had me believe. Come on Mason, where are you? I think, annoyed and worried for him. I know he's hurting, I know he's angry, but he could get himself killed. I refuse to let that happen.

Tears form in my eyes without me realizing until I feel cold wind that bites against wetness on my cheeks. Why am I crying? You're worried about him The voice of my conscious tells me simply. I am NOT worried, Allyssa Tornhell does not worry about ANYTHING, especially not about Mason, he can take care of himself.

My feet make no sound as I run through the alleyway where destruction is evident from Masons anger. He is furious and hurt, what the hell am I supposed to do? Ripred knows if he'll ever forgive me. That's when I hear it, a terrified scream. There is only one person I know who is capable of such a scream; Sean. He is a Tornhell but at the age of 13, he is kept out of gang activities at the request of my Aunt because he is her youngest son. My toes dig into the pavement as I leap onto the rooftops, my shadow, Rebecca, finding me. I don't look at her but I know she knows who it is. This is all my fault I feel sick to my stomach as we get closer to the source and when we leap down, the scene in front of me shocks me.

Masons fists pound into my youngest cousin who is unconscious and I can almost feel the rage radiating off of Mason in waves. Without thinking, I race between them, my dagger raised and I feel Becca beside me. "What the fuck Mason? Back the hell away. I know you're pissed but leave the poor kid alone he's thirteen for christ sakes and not even a part of the gang" I practically snarl at him. I can feel the monster raising its ugly head but I push it down, glaring at Mason. I love him but he's crossed a line and I don't know if I can forgive him for that. I guess that makes us even, neither willing to forgive the other. I stare him down, daring him to make another move, nobody messes with my family, not even lovers or whatever Mason and I were before all this shit happened.

I can hear Becca behind me and know that she's taking care of Sean leaving me to deal with the boy in front of me who has taught me to love and brought out everything I thought had died with the little seven year old.