alone t o g e t h e r {thundy--blitz}

[[nyte]]

k a t e r i n a  o ' l e a r y

"A L L T H IS B A D B L O O D H E R E"
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Living in the lap of luxury is nothing like I'd expected. A warm bed in the evening, a large breakfast in the morning. Something I'd dreamed of since the day I was old enough to understand what greed was. I'd always been told the grass was greener over here. Bullshit. It's rotted and dying everywhere. Like the bodies my brother left in that arena. Like that hair that'd never gray, and the skin that'd never wrinkle. Born children and died the same. There's a deep sickness rising within my gut, an emptiness pounding at the lining of my stomach. Its sweaty hands attempting to pull my heart from its cage. I don't think I'd miss it. Sometimes I question whether it's still beating. 

It's still there. I can hear its rapid thrashing within my ears, The moment I awake, fingers wrapped around soft cotton sheets. Hair askew around my neck and chest. Soap would be leaving for his tour any time now, to rub his victory into the faces of families who lost their children and districts who lost their grain. 

I don't blame Col, at least I think I don't. It's hard to make sense of anything with this blood rushing through my head. He did save me, save us, after all. Had he not returned, I'd we'd have starved. How could I hate a super hero? 

Perhaps because I fear he's quite the opposite.  He hasn't been home long enough for me to tell whether or not he'd changed. The shock of him just being here was far too overwhelming. Days passing in a blurr of colors and sounds. Come to think of it, I can't even recall how long ago my brother had returned. It felt like years and seconds simultaneously.

I've managed to escape the tangle of sheets the night terrors had trapped me in. My feet move of their own accord, led more by my stomach than my brain. I can't be bothered to check the time, I only assume its some ungodly hour in the morning. Might as well make some breakfast. There's plenty of food to go around. We're rich now, right? 

I try to move as quiet as I can, finding myself stumped as what to make. And lacking the knowledge as to how.

This life definitely wasn't what I expected it to be. 

It's more of a black than a green. 

template by chelsey

[Sunrise Rainier D2 // [Thundy]]

______________________

Stepping forward out into the day
Shrugging off the dust and memory

Magenta is screaming at me.

“You walk around like you're just a bowl of sunshine, don't ya? You act like you're an angel or some shit, but you ain't! You're a monster, Soap. A fuckin' monster! But I guess I am too, huh?”

I'm running backwards, stumbling, falling, the words echoing around my head like I'm encased in stone.

You're a monster, Soap.

I run, but there's nowhere for me to go. Turning my head wildly, I search for a way out, but we're surrounded by walls on all sides, holding us in.

A fuckin' monster.

In my dream, I bend over to retrieve an axe to defend myself, but it disappears right before my eyes. One second, there, sitting on the ground.. Another second, gone.

Monster, the walls whisper.

"Monster!" Magenta shrieks, sprinting towards me. She doesn't have a weapon either, she's just screaming, yelling so loud the sound fills up my head and creates a ringing in my ears.

"Monster!" she screams.

MONSTER! the walls echo.

Monster! Monster! Monster!

-------

I'm awoken by a creaking sound from the stairs, my heart hurting.

It's a quiet thing, to be sure, but sleep isn't the same anymore, not after the Arena. Every little noise will wake me, even if from a nightmare.

If not for the light streaming in from my window, I wouldn't get up. There's no way in hell I'm gonna get up in the night anymore, not if I can help it. The dark is far more frightening than the light, and even in the safety of my own home, protected by the gates of the Victor's Village, I don't feel secure.

It's about time for me to be getting up anyway, so I pull on a shirt and poke my head out of the bedroom door, glancing down the stairwell. Someone is walking around below, so I tiptoe down the stairs and turn the corner into the kitchen.

As it happens, nobody else is up yet except my sister Kat.

"Hey," I say quietly, unsmiling in part because I'm tired and my heart is still racing from the nightmare. Plus, ever since I got back, Kat hasn't really been as excited about everything as the others have; she's more withdrawn, more.. sad, almost? I don't know, and I don't really know how to approach the topic, either.

"How are you? You look.. I dunno. Beaten down." I say, plucking an apple out of a basket on the counter and tossing it between my hands anxiously.